Twisted
by Perenne
Summary: An average life had always sounded good on paper… until Sakura learns the truth of what happens to “average”. They die. And if there’s one thing Sakura knows, it’s that she’ll do anytting to stay alive.
1. Arc I: Just One Twisted Ankle

**Hi, everyone! Here you have it: a story where Sakura becomes strong – the operating word here being _becomes._ Don't expect her to be totally badass in the first chapter ;) I know you _want_ to see it though, so stick around! Speaking of which, I'm aware chapter one may not be the most ****riveting, but please give me a shot. If you feel it's too winded for you, feel free to check out the second; you'll catch on pretty quick.**

 **The chapters of this story get progressively longer and less lighthearted. That's intended: it's supposed to reflect Sakura's growth, from a worry-free child mindset, to that of a mature kunoichi. That doesn't mean however, that there won't be humor in later chapters, but it does mean you should stick around if the first ones don't seem serious enough for you.**

 **One more thing: this is meant to be a _realistic_ story with _realistic_ pacing and character development.**

 **Two: there will be a huge canon deviation starting at the chunin exams.**

 **Three: No pairings between members of team seven.**

 **So… Enjoy!**

 **TWISTED**

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called hoarsely. "Are you in here?"

Something in her tone must have sounded haunted, for Sasuke shot up from his mat like a corkscrew. He looked ready to throw a barrage of kunai – though when he failed to see the danger, he gave Sakura a reproachful look. Fortunately for her, she missed his glare, preoccupied with waking Naruto. After a moment, both boys turned towards her, an unspoken question hanging in the air.

Trembling, Sakura said: "Zabuza is alive."

The temperature in the room dropped at once. Even Sasuke looked shellshocked.

"No way!" Naruto was the first to regain his voice. "He can't be! Did you tell Sensei how that bastard's still around? I bet he'd disagree!"

Sakura bit her lip and stared at the floor. The negative hung on her lips, but Sasuke spared her the trouble:

"Why haven't you?" his eyes were glaring holes into her skull.

Sakura flinched. "Kakashi-sensei is – recovering. I didn't want to wake him up."

"Recovering? Hahaha! Sensei's such an old man sometimes!" Naruto hollered. "I guess being cool makes you tired, huh."

"Che. Makes sense, dobe." Sasuke glanced at Naruto briefly. "Now I know the reason behind your boundless energy."

"WHAT?!"

But Sasuke had resumed staring holes into Sakura's bent neck. Any other time, his eyes on her would've been more than welcome… but not now. Now Sakura feared Sasuke might see the ugly lies written across her forehead.

"The idiot is right – shouldn't Kakashi be up by now?" he asked suspiciously.

"Maybe we underestimated his condition," Sakura ventured.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Sakura thought that he was onto her. After an excruciating wait, he said:

"We should sleep on this. Let's talk tomorrow."

Sakura knew at least one person who wouldn't.

 _Today,_ Sakura mused sarcastically _, was clearly my best birthday ever, hands down._

Sighing, she trekked back to her room.

How had it even come to this? Where had it all gone so wrong?

The day had started off great. Her mom had for once decided not to be annoying and woken Sakura to a perfect breakfast consistent of _tea_ _mochis_ , a favorite sweet of hers. Sakura normally didn't eat them, but this day was special. This was her thirteenth birthday – the day she officially became a teenager _and_ older than her rival, Ino.

Sakura had made sure to let Ino know, too. On the way to her team, she'd stopped by Ino's window.

"How cute. If it isn't Ino the preteen. Or should I say, the pre-swine?"

Naturally, Ino had nearly got an aneurysm.

"I dare you to repeat that, Forehead!"

"Funny, I thought _you're_ the one who gets totally worked up in truth or dare," Sakura sniped back. " _Ino-pig_."

Ino's outraged reaction only made the moment of triumph sweeter.

Today was her day.

Things only improved when Naruto convinced the hokage to assign their team a mission worthy of grownups: an escort mission!

Sakura was _so_ ready to prove to Sasuke-kun how mature and smart she was. Between Ino and her, she was clearly the superior choice.

The first thing – or person – out of place on this perfect day was the weathered-looking man who walked into the office shortly after. His name was Tazuna, and he was the mission client, the hokage explained. Tazuna's first impression was dismal, to say the least. He looked old and rough around the edges, and rude, as he proved the moment he opened his mouth. There was also a bottle of liquor in his hand that did nothing good for his sharp tongue, Sakura thought.

She should've seen it then. Tazuna was the first sign in a long list, the first indicative of the horrors that waited ahead.

The second came masked by Naruto's usual foolhardiness. They'd left the village for the first time, and as expected, Naruto was even more exuberant than usual.

"Look! Look! It's a puddle! Wanna go jump inside with me, Sakura-chan?"

 _Is this his idea of flirting?_ Sakura wondered. Her inner demon gagged mentally. _Pah!_

By way of an answer, Sakura whacked Naruto on the head. "No way, you moron! I don't do wallowing in the mud!" Turning to Sasuke, she added: "That's more Ino-pig's style." No answer. She tried again: "Gee, Naruto is so immature. Totally not my type." She blushed. "My type is the real mature, reversed kind of _ikemen_ , you know?"

Whether he knew or not, Sasuke didn't reply.

Sakura was about to add something else to the one-sided conversation, but then, without the slightest warning, team seven was rendered under attack. Two dangerous-looking ninja had leapt upon them from _within the puddle_ , catching the group completely off guard.

Naruto, who had been at the forefront, whirled around, frozen. Sasuke meanwhile jumped into action, and so did Kakashi.

Except… the hook-nosed attacker was faster.

It was over in less than a second. Just like that, Kakashi was gruesomely sliced right through the middle. Entrails flew everywhere, a horrible smell plaguing the air.

"Sensei!" A broken scream.

Sakura couldn't stop replaying Kakashi's horrible death over and over again. Without him… they were lost.

The hook-nosed ninja, clearly the leader, paused and glanced around. He saw her. Leered. Sakura knew the moment their eyes met that it was over. Raising his bloody sword, the man sprang forward.

Sakura watched him close in – saw it almost in slow motion. Her feet were rooted to the ground. What was she doing? _Get away!_ an inward part of her screamed. Yet there she stood, glued in front of Tazuna, her charge and the man she couldn't even stand to look at. Still, she brazed herself for the hit.

It was then that Sasuke intervened. Lightening-quick, her teammate sprinted forward and intercepted the blow right on time. Terrified and startled, Sakura took a startled leap backwards.

It was pathetic, but it happened.

Her right foot stumbled over a jutting rock, slipped, and then – caved. Sakura could almost hear the crunching of bones and the blinding, white pain that shot up her spine.

Had it been different, had she stepped an inch to the right, or to the left, none of this might've happened.

But it did.

The rest of the altercation passed in a blur.

Sakura only snapped out of her pain-filled haze at the sound of a familiar baritone.

"Ma…" Kakashi's voice said suddenly. "Hadn't expected you to seize up like that, Naruto. Sasuke, Sakura, you did well."

Everyone stared at him.

He wasn't dead?

What the…! He wasn't dead!

"Kakashi-sensei! You're _alive_!" Judging by the scratchiness of her voice, Sakura noted distantly that she was crying. Had been, for a while now. Her foot felt like it was pulsating with pain, and she could barely even focus.

Naruto, to her relief, looked close to tears as well. "But…! I thought you were dead, Sensei! I saw it! That guy…!"

Unaffected, Kakashi pursued his usual book. "My demise was a perfectly logical ploy. It had to seem like the largest threat was out of the picture… which was me. So I pretended to be. That gave me freedom to determine exactly what, or rather, who those two were after. They're the famous demon brothers, you know. Skilled mercenaries and ninja, not just your average joe – they've even made it into the bingo book as B ranked threats."

"You mean those two weren't bandits?" exclaimed Sakura, sniffing. "But then…"

"Yes. Sakura-chan, you did well to immediately flank Tazuna," said Kakashi, nodding towards the bridge builder. "If the demon brothers had been after money, which was unlikely, considering who they are, they wouldn't have targeted anyone specifically."

"But they did," Sakura whispered, wide-eyed.

"Yes. They did." Kakashi turned to Tazuna, his stare smoldering. "Isn't there something you wish to tell us, Mr Bridge-builder?"

The old man stiffened. Silence fell over the team like a blanket. Only Sakura's hiccups were audible in the background.

She was ashamed. Hadn't Sakura promised herself she'd be mature this time? Instead, she was crying like a baby over a sprained foot.

While she tried to calm her breathing, Kakashi had crouched in front of Naruto and declared that his wound was poisoned.

"Ma, nothing we can do about it. It's probably for the best. Let's return to the village. That needs to be removed from your system, Naruto."

Sakura felt relief coursing through her. Thank Kaguya!

But then, something happened no one could have accounted for.

With a determined shout, Naruto slashed a kunai into his wound. It was bleeding, the dagger buried inside of him. Naruto tore it forward slowly. "I'll never go back on my word," the blonde hollered, determination shining in his eyes. "Do you hear me? That's my ninja way!" By this point, there was a giant gash all across his hand. "If I ever chicken out again, this wound, this pain, will remind me: never, ever will I stop! I'll keep my promises, and then I'll be worthy of becoming Hokage! BELIEVE IT!"

"Touching display. Though I can't help but wonder what you were trying to achieve, Naruto," said Kakashi drolly.

Naruto grinned sunnily, as though he hadn't just stabbed himself.

"That's obvious, Sensei: the poison is out now, see! You don't have to abort the mission anymore, believe it!"

Sakura felt dread pooling in her gut.

After Naruto's sacrifice… how could she ruin it now?

Kakashi was surveying them from over his book.

"Ma, ma… in light of your valiant display, I suppose we should continue. If you're all amenable?"

Naruto made a celebratory dance, Sasuke gave a curt nod and even Tazuna grinned.

Sakura tried telling herself that it would be fine.

 **TWSITED**

 _"Fear," Sakura's Mom said, "shouldn't ever be ignored. Do you know why that is, Sakura? It's because fear is a shinobi's voice of reason. It festers inside the mind, it lurks in your subconscious… it's a shadow that never leaves."_

 _Sakura pouted._

 _"Ino's not scared of anything, and you aren't either. Isn't that right, Mommy?"_

 _Mebuki stroked Sakura's head in silence, offering no answer. "Maybe it's about time I turn the lights off, huh?" she said instead._

 _"No way!" A yawn. "What if… what if Ami tries something mean tomorrow after school?"_

 _"I'll be on time when classes are over," said Mebuki calmly. "That brute girl had better not pull anything funny with me around."_

 _Sakura smiled, pleased, until something else occurred to her. "But what if Ami's mom tries to pick on you?"_

 _"Ami's mom can bugger off, honestly."_

 _"You're not afraid of anything, are_ _you, Mommy?" murmured a drowsy Sakura._

 _Mebuki had sighed. "You'll find, as you grow, darling, that fear never truly disappears; it is simply a shapeshifter: in occasion an old friend that will watch your back, or a fiend that will stab it…" she trailed off, lost in thought._

 _"Sometimes it's the past which makes me afraid…" she glanced at her now sleeping daughter, an unreadable expression on her face, "and sometimes it's the future which I can't bear to think about. But aren't they one and the same story?"_

 **TWISTED**

Sakura's eyes blinked awake. What was that? A memory? It had seemed so real. Strange…

Sakura sighed, the events from a few hours ago coming back to her.

It had all been the fault of that stupid stone in her path! To think that something as inconsecuential had gotten her into this mess was beyond Sakura.

A bad sprain, she'd told herself when the fight was over. Nothing to worry about. She didn't even tell Kakashi-sensei about it. After all, it had seemed like the mature thing to do; Sakura didn't want Sasuke-kun to think her a crybaby.

Right. Mature.

Only when Zabuza, an elite ninja, had decided to attack them, Sakura had been too slow to even run away like she usually would, meaning Zabuza had used her as leverage against Kakashi. And Kakashi had nearly died because of that. Sakura had been this close to death only a few hours ago. If Kakashi-sensei had done the right thing to do – to leave her at blade point and save Tazuna – she'd be but a memory.

Sakura thought back to her strange dream. Funny.

She'd never heeded her mother's words. Fear wasn't exactly her voice of reason or anything weird like that. If there was something that scared her, she found a way around it, convinced herself that it simply didn't. Sakura had learned to suppress her fear, locking the feeling away in a deep, dark corner of her mind. Big girls just weren't afraid, period.

But shit. Now she couldn't think of anything else but that. The fear. It was so deeply unsettling that Sakura thought the feeling might never leave.

Going back to sleep would be pointless.

Fear was supposed to be an intangible feeling, but Sakura felt it fester in her dreams, saw it in her inner eye (formless, white mist surrounding her, robbing her of reason and sight), she smelled it on herself (cold sweat trickling down her back), she heard it, (her own ragged breaths in the silence), she felt its searing touch, (the sharp edges of a crescent blade, a phantom pain, goosebumps marring her skin). In short: she remembered. And then Sakura would wake up with a start, feeling cold and alone.

At some point during the night, she couldn't even close her eyes anymore, afraid of what would come if she fell asleep again and afraid of what might come to get her _while_ she was asleep. It would be a nightmare either way.

Deep down, Sakura knew that the only way to rest at ease would be to verify that there wasn't indeed anyone hiding outside of her room. She had to see for herself that Zabuza wasn't lurking behind the paper doors to finish off what he had started barely a few hours previous, even though Sakura had seen him die.

Swallowing a lump in her throat, she climbed out of her futon and silently approached the white sliding door. Opened it.

Nothing. There was no one there. She took her water glass and made a quick trip to the bathroom to refill it, a sad attempt to dampen her parched throat. (She was so tense that she could hardly take a sip.)

 _Calm down_ , Sakura told herself. _There's nothing here…_ She glanced around nervously, wishing she was back in her room. _I'm safe,_ was her mantra. _Sasuke-kun will protect me if anything goes wrong._

Just to be sure, Sakura peered into the second guest room on the way back to her room. Even in the darkness, she could make out a slumbering Sasuke opposite to Naruto, who was scratching his behind.

Gross.

Sakura was surprised she was surprised.

Without realizing it, she let out a breath. As usual, her gaze trailed toward Sasuke-kun. Back in the Academy, on that last hour before the bell rang, during the dreadfully boring 'ninja conduct' lessons, Sakura had used to daydream about what it would feel like to doze off with her beloved Sasuke-kun next to her…

Was he secretly one of those restless sleepers, masculine chest exposed only for her?

 _Kyaaaa!_

Sakura blushed giddily at the thought.

To her dismay, she'd been wrong all along; Sasuke-kun slept stiff as a log. Not to mention he was buried in a cocoon of blankets which slightly resembled that of a silkworm. Not that Sakura thought he was a worm! Mortified, she stepped even closer, realizing that not a single a trace of even his aristocratic cheekbones was available for admiration. For a moment, Sakura wondered what would happen if anyone woke up and found her salivating over her sleeping teammate in the middle of the night. Not exactly a welcome thought, so Sakura ignored it, focusing instead on the aforementioned teammate. She could just make out his midnight locks puffing upwards – though her lovestruck mind supplied the long lashes, porcelain skin and soft breaths for added effect. Again, she squealed inwardly.

She was feeling safe and even vaguely cozy now – oh, the miracle that was Sasuke-kun! – but her feelings of rabid admiration were suddenly overlapped by a crippling sense of terror. There was someone behind her!

The assailant pinned her arms above her head forcefully, rendering Sakura _**utterly defenseless**_.

 _Zabuza!_ She mentally shouted, outwardly mute because of fear. In the yuxtaposition that was her mind, only one thought prevailed: _He's going to murder me now_. He'd finish what he started earlier. She was certain of it. But then an even worse realization hit her: _Hashirama's mullet, that means he's already killed Kakashi-sensei…!_ Sakura began to sob, her nails digging into her own flesh, leaving angry red marks in their wake. _Please, no–! Please, please…! I'M GOING TO DIE!_

In her fear, Sakura barely noticed the way her whole body tensed and began to quake, she didn't hear the terrified clattering of her teeth, or the quiet spasming of her chest as she hiccuped. But her captor did notice.

"Ah, Sakura. It's the real you."

Viridian eyes wide and petrified, Sakura turned around. Her assailant was… Kakashi-sensei.

Say what?

"Sensei…" she breathed faintly, feeling weak in the knees. He let go of her and slouched against the fine paper wall, his expression inscrutable as he stared off into the distance. It occurred to Sakura right then that perhaps she wasn't the only one whose knees had been reduced to jello. But just as she was about to offer making a much-needed cup of tea for the both of them, a new, horrible thought struck her:

 _He's an impostor!_ the dark, untrusting corner of her mind hissed. It made horrible sense. _Zabuza's used the hengue no jutsu to transform into Sensei!_

Maybe he wanted to fool her into giving away Tazuna's location, or kidnap her so he could sell her off in the black market. And no matter what she did now, there'd be no escaping it.

 _What do I do now?_ Sakura despaired internally. Her weapons were all kept inside of her pouch, which was scattered on the floor of her room somewhere, and Sakura was completely defenseless without them (she was quite defenseless enough with them already). She wasn't like Sasuke or Naruto, she had no other remarkable ninja skill, whereas Zabuza was ruthless and strong. He'd squash her like a pink bug.

"Bad dream?" carried on Kakashi's lookalike, apparently picking up on her restlessness, but misinterpreting it. Sakura nodded shiftily, her eyes darting around. 'Zabuzazabuzazabuza' she could only think, repeating it in her head like a mantra. The real Kakashi-sensei was probably lying in a pit somewhere while Zabuza transformed into him and kidnapped her.

She had to _do_ something.

And in that moment, Sakura realized that fear isn't simply a voice of reason, like her mother had once said, but also the wings that make us go beyond it. Her situation may have been hopeless, but she still acted: in a last ditch attempt at survival, Haruno Sakura gathered her wits and smashed the water glass into Zabuza's skull. A feeble attack, perhaps, but an effective one.

"Sa-sakura–!" he chocked out hoarsely. "Fuck! What are you…?" he clutched his head. There was blood, but Sakura barely registered any of it. Shaking, she picked up a long shard of glass. She wouldn't die. She _wouldn't_.

"Stop…" the proxy implored hoarsely, seizing the sharp weapon on the other end and _pulling_. Sakura felt her heart drop to her stomach, but didn't let go, her fingers clasping the glass. There was a brief sort of tug-fight for the shard which ended with broken skin and a stab-wound in Sakura's right hand, right before the glass was torn from her grip.

"Calm down, Sakura!" fake Kakashi yelled. "I'm not going to hurt you."

With that, he tucked the glass shard into his pocket, raising his hands over his head.

"But… but you– you've killed Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura accused.

"What? No, that's – that's me…" he said. "As flattered as I am that you saw a need to avenge my death, Sakura-chan, I would rather you wake up your comrades in a situation like this."

Right.

But most importantly: it really _was_ Kakashi. Sakura blinked, at first relieved that she wasn't about to be stabbed, then overcome by absolute horror – she had done the stabbing – to her teacher, no less!

"Sensei!" she rasped, suddenly struck by unbearable guilt. "I'm so sorry…!"

Kakashi waved it off, (his bleeding, bleeding, head injury) like one might a casual favor, and Sakura could only feel like her voice didn't sound apologetic enough, even though she was crying so much that she might manage to fill a basin.

"…well," Kakashi uttered forlornly after the sixth apology and anxious debt declaration, "I suppose you could lend me a hand in bandaging my head."

Sakura nodded vigorously, glad to oblige, studiously ignoring the fact that she could quite literally only lend one hand, for the other had been stabbed and was now bleeding profusely.

 **TWISTED**

She did manage to pull off the one-handed bandaging – with the help of her teeth. Kakashi didn't seem to so much as notice her unseemly measures, which further increased Sakura's concern. He was too lightheaded to go back to sleep, she then decided, whereupon she sat him down in the kitchen with a hot cup of tea and a ration bar.

 _Sensei needs to eat while he's still conscious,_ she reasoned to herself. Or at least, conscious in theory. Kakashi seemed content to just drop his head on the table and stop existing. Looking at his sorry state, at all the blood on the table, Sakura didn't know what to do… but then she remembered Iruka-sensei preaching about how it was crucial that patients should avoid falling asleep after a concussion, and that gave her a goal.

With this in mind, Sakura dragged a chair over to Kakashi and began the arduous task of feeding him.

Suddenly, he lifted his head just a little and said: "Congratulations, I can sense you're improving." Then he dropped his head again. "Please remind me not to be your sparing partner."

And then he was dead to the world.

Of course, the first time her teacher praised her happened to be as he writhed in his deathbed

Understandably, Sakura had a panic attack, until she remembered she was supposed to look for a pulse and felt it steady and sure under his wrist. So what now?

Sakura was not going to risk dropping him off with the boys and having a misunderstanding with Sasuke-kun, thank you very much, she'd had enough misunderstandings for one night. If Sasuke woke up, he might think Sakura was actually Zabuza dragging around an injured Kakashi… it really wouldn't bode well for her. But she definitely could not bear leaving Sensei downstairs, where he'd be at Zabuza's mercy.

 _Zabuza's dead!_ she inwardly shouted, but it didn't feel reassuring. _I've seen it with my own eyes! That nuke nin took him away himself!_

Like a mad person, Sakura disagreed with herself:

 _But shouldn't there be more than one hunter ninja on his trail? He's so dangerous! And I know for a fact that our ANBU ops always operate in squads!_

Her inner voice did not answer, something admittedly normal, but to Sakura it was the last straw: she was now paranoid that Zabuza would come back to get her. All sorts of doubts and clues plagued her, all pointing to the fact that the ninja had been Zabuza's accomplice as opposed to being his murderer. Shaking with fear, Sakura dropped off Kakashi in her own room, and then stumbled into Sasuke-kun and Naruto's, a kunai-knife gripped in both hands.

"Sasuke-kun?" she hoarsely called. "Are you in here?"

Something in her tone must have sounded haunted, for Sasuke's eyes shot open, his stance revealing a startling readiness to engage – though he stalled himself upon seeing just Sakura, quivering alone in the darkness. Fortunately for her, Sakura missed his glare as she was preoccupied with waking Naruto. As soon as the two were up, she tremulously recounted the facts supporting her theory of Zabuza being alive, placing a special emphasis in suspicious behavior:

"—the supposed hunter-nin intervened just when Sensei was about to finish Zabuza off, used senbon to deal the final blow, when a kunai would've been much more effective, and then he didn't even take his head with him, but the whole body!"

The room was caked in silence. Not even Naruto spoke. Sasuke frowned deeply.

"No way!" Naruto was the first to regain his voice. "He can't be! Did you tell Sensei how that bastard's still around? I bet he'd disagree!"

Sakura bit her lip and stared at the floor. The negative hung on her lips, but Sasuke spared her the trouble:

"Why haven't you?" his eyes were glaring holes into her skull.

Sakura flinched. "Kakashi-sensei is – recovering. I didn't want to wake him up."

"Recovering? Hahaha! Sensei's such an old man sometimes!" Naruto hollered. "I guess being cool makes you tired, huh."

"Che. Makes sense, dobe." Sasuke glanced at Naruto briefly. "Now I know the reason behind your boundless energy."

"WHAT?!"

But Sasuke had resumed staring holes into Sakura's bent neck. Any other time, his eyes on her would've been more than welcome… but not now. Now Sakura feared Sasuke might see the ugly lies written across her forehead.

"The idiot is right – shouldn't Kakashi be up by now?" he asked suspiciously.

"Maybe we underestimated his condition," Sakura ventured.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, and for a moment, Sakura thought that he was onto her. After an excruciating wait, he said:

"We should sleep on this. Let's talk tomorrow."

Sakura knew at least one person who wouldn't.

Sakura knew at least one person who wouldn't. She'd stay up all night fearing for her life and periodically tending to Kakashi's injury. It was nothing life-threatening, she reckoned, but it did meant that Kakashi would be down when they needed him the most.

And, she added spitefully, it was her fault.

 _Yay_ , grumbled Inner Sakura. _Best birthday ever, no doubt about it._

 **TWISTED**

 **Some things readers ought to know:**

 **-Naruto is the intelectual property of Masashi Kishimoto. This work is non-lucrative.**

 **-There will be no pairings, or at least they remain yet-to-be-decided, but I can tell you for sure that none between members of team 7.**

 **-The main focus of this story is Sakura's growth as a person and as a shinobi. I've purposely started the tale on a lighter note, but it'll get darker eventually.**

 **-The Kakashi Sakura teacher-student relationship is very important at the beginning, but not necessarily later on.**

 **-There is no character bashing in this work, so I'd rather reviewers take their flames elsewhere unless the critique is constructive.**

 **-I sound like an uptight old grandma in this briefing, but guys, I'm honestly not! :) I'm a sucker for reviews though. Wink wink.**


	2. Always the Bookworm

Sakura had gone through all of Naruto and Sasuke's available weapons, checked, double checked and triple checked their inventory check, the traps around the house and the state of Kakashi-sensei's bandages. She had also gone through _his_ things, even though she wasn't one to pry – but there was no other choice. Team 7 needed to be ready, and Kakashi had, without a doubt, more explosives, weapons and scrolls at his disposal than the rest of them together. Besides those, Sakura had also found what could be a kilometer-long ninja wire in a scroll, along with his book collection and a katana.

 **TWISTED**

It was hard to count the number of times in which Sakura had wondered whether any of this would have happened had she, after the fight against the demon brothers, confessed to the painful throbbing in her ankle, as opposed to reassuring Sasuke-kun that it wasn't a concern and that she would bear it for his sake – because she knew that he'd think her unworthy if she admitted to the injury, and because Naruto had just stabbed himself to get rid of the poison in his blood to not jeopardize the mission – and now Sakura was paying for it:

During the fight with Zabuza, she hadn't even been able to protect herself, let alone the client, just _limping into the way of things_. To make it even worse, Zabuza had used her as bait to take Kakashi hostage in a terrible water prison – they'd all nearly died and it was her fault, and – _don't go there!_

Again, Sakura checked the clock on the wall.

She needed a distraction. _Anything._

 **TWISTED**

Looking down at her lap, Sakura opened the book.

 _Icha Icha Paradise — Chapter One_

She blushed furiously. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea? She was really trespassing on Sensei's privacy… she put the book back in his pouch. It was two in the morning. But she really, really needed that distraction.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura checked the clock again. Two thirty. She ran her hands through her hair – it was getting greasy from lack of sleep.

Sleep… would Sensei ever wake up again? If the first time she nearly killed him hadn't been enough, the heavy hit to the head must have done it. _She_ was to blame for it.

Sighing, Sakura went to his bedside, took out the weapons pouch and jammed his book out. Maybe he'd wake up on her peeking. Would he wake up?

Sakura opened the book.

 _Icha Icha Paradise — Chapter One_

She preemptively glanced at Kakashi – still asleep.

She glanced back at the book. The cover was a bright orange, the theme seemed lighthearted, the story gripping.

It was a welcome change.

Sakura began reading.

 **

TWISTED

**

Sakura closed the book with a start. This was _wrong_. What would Sasuke-kun say? She felt hot and bothered – it was already dawn and she hadn't slept still.

Again, Sakura chanced a glance at Icha Icha. It really was intriguing. Not that she _liked_ it or anything. But… she was a little curious. Junko has found out that Ai was "the bloody wraith of the Fog" though nothing had outwardly given his new knowledge away. The way it was written, the reader was left constantly trying to guess whether Ai was aware of it – in which case, why was she still playing that dangerous game? – or whether she'd catch on to Junko's efforts to garner intelligence from her instead. And all the while Sakura kept hoping against all hope that the two could be together, even though they were the bloody wraith of Fog Country and the phantom of the Willow. Sakura struggled with herself. She wanted to keep reading, but, at the same time, she _really didn't._

With a jolt, she promptly froze.

She could hear a pair of footsteps – Sasuke-kun's! – stop outside of her room. Sakura was so panicked that she stuck the book into the closest thing available, (read: her unimpressive cleavage) and zipped up the jacket. At the same time, the door slid open. Naruto wasn't there.

(It was just the two of them.)

To make matters worse, Sakura's treacherous blush had appeared with a vengeance. And she knew that it wasn't the cutesy rosy tint that she tried to achieve with makeup – three guesses at to who looked like the tomato in the room.

 _And I bet Sasuke-kun hates tomatoes!_

"When will he wake up?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

Oh, so he wasn't here to see her. Sakura was disappointed, but did her best not to let it show.

"I don't know," she stuttered helplessly.

"That head wound," Sasuke observed. "He didn't get it during the fight."

Sakura stared at Sasuke-kun feeling horror, though he didn't seem to notice. _My fault_. Everything was her fault. _Blameblameblame_ –

She had to tell Sasuke-kun.

 _He'll understand_ , she told herself. _It's Sasuke-kun._

 _Or not._ A treacherous part of her mused.

"I… well… i-it was an accident, Sasuke-ku–?"

For the first time since recent recollection, Sakura felt like the heat of Sasuke's onix gaze had scalded her.

"Tch." He left the room.

Sighing, Sakura took out Icha Icha and placed it back into Sensei's weapons pouch, mindful to leave it in the exact same position in which it had been before. What kind of girl liked reading those sorts of novels? Even if it was just for the plot and she didn't know what to do with herself at night, when Zabuza lurked in each dark corner, waiting for – stop that rain of thought, she told herself. It was almost a reflexive reaction.

 **TWISTED**

Her decision to hide the book proved to be the right one, for Naruto didn't make himself wait. But Sakura had been indecisive, clumsy and a bookworm, and so she was caught red-handed anyway.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!" Her annoying teammate pranced into the room and grinned at her broadly, apparently not finding the hand stuck into their teacher's pouch odd. Sakura tried to withdraw it _very_ slowly. Meanwhile, Naruto barreled on: "Ne, ne, why's Kakashi-sensei sleeping with you? You know he's a pervert right! Huh? Sakura-chan?"

 _…I think Tomato-chan does kind of have a ring to it,_ Inner Sakura concluded, mortified.

"Naruto-baka!" she yelled. Her faculties had deserted her, so the only option left was to bonk him on the head.

"Gah!" Naruto shouted back. "Sakura-chan I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I meant, sleeping in your room, not–"

"Idiot, idiot, idiot!" she repeatedly whacked him. "I was just making sure he heals well, you moron!"

"Sakura-chan, I have an injury too! Now I get to slee–"

"NO WAY Naruto-naroma!"

 _Groan._

Starting, Sakura pressed her palm into Naruto's mouth.

Kakashi stirred.

"Oh, Baka-sensei's back! Haha! Get it? Baka back? Heh – huh? Sakura-chan, why are you crying?"

"Sensei! I'm so sorry!" Sakura apologized. It was something she did a lot. Normally she spoke for her teammates though. The thought made her bitter and regretful. Then, seeing Naruto's confusion she added: "Apologize for waking him, Naruto!" Hopefully he'd credit her profuse apology to that.

"I suppose it can't be helped…" Kakashi muttered, ignoring Naruto's enthusiastic recommendations about breakfast-ramen. "Sakura-chan, don't worry about it. Now get out."

Sakura stumbled slightly, but headed to the kitchen and made quick work of a banana and milk.

When she came back, she walked in on Kakashi-sensei sniffing the returned book.

Sakura was fairly certain that he usually didn't go around smelling his stinky literature, so – the blood froze in her veins.

"Sakura-chan…" Kakashi said, looking a little peeved.

 _That thrice damned – he smelled it! SMELLED! Stupidstupid — GAH!_

While Inner Sakura was throwing a tantrum of large proportions, Tomato-chan had expanded her reign over Sakura's whole face. For an awkward ten to fifteen seconds, student and teacher just stared at one other. Then they looked away altogether. Robotically, Sakura walked the three and a half steps to Kakahi's futon, extended the arm balancing the tray with the squashed bananas, and placed it next to him.

Never had she regretted anything so much. Not even getting stuck with Naruto could compare.

"You were right about the nightmares…" she confessed awkwardly. "I just needed a distraction." _That's why I started reading! GET IT?_ Hopefully Kakashi would understand – because Sakura didn't feel brave enough to mention her reading material out-loud, even if Kakashi already knew and she had borrowed it from him.

She kept glaring at the bananas for a long while, expecting to get chastised, laughed at, or even pitied – but nothing. Confused, Sakura risked a peek. Sensei was just staring at her, his expression obscured by the ever-unnerving mask.

 _Which reminds me…_ Inner Sakura drawled. _We took it off!_

Hashirama's mullet. Sakura stared at her teacher with no little amount of incredulousness.

"You look normal!"

"Thank you…?"

She shook her arms frantically.

 _Why on earth does he wear that dumb mask if there's nothing embarrassing about his face?!_

"Underneath the underneath? Ha. Ha." Sakura jeered with righteous outrage. "Buck teeth? Fish lips? _Ha_."

Seeming to realize what she was on about, Kakashi's eyes widened almost comically. "You-you – that's – _treason._ "

Sakura giggled. And kept giggling.

"Sakura… are you sure you're alright?"

Sakura paused the giggling.

 _…did he just call me_ _insane?!_ Inner raged.

 _He is a little right though,_ Sakura acknowledged reluctantly _. I don't think I'm really okay right now._

Out-loud, she said:

"I nearly killed you, Sensei."

 _Way to lay it on thick there, Sakura._

Kakashi seemed uninterested in the lack of decor in her statement. "Don't underestimate your elders so much, Sakura-chan," he adviced nonchalantly. Seeing the look on her face, he added: "And you had every right to be wary. If I hadn't attacked you in the first place, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Well, wary was putting it lightly. Bordering paranoid, more like. But that brought Sakura to the subject of her woes: "Sensei, Zabuza is _alive_!"

"Look who's all grown up now."

 _He **knew**?!_

 _Or maybe that head injury was worse than we thought._

 **TWISTED**

Well, this chapter is very lighthearted to make up for later. It kind of almost seems out of place in an adventure story, but a good bit of comedy is always nice, specially since it shows Sakura is still a naive kid at heart. In retrospect, I'm almost missing it (this bit of the author note has been added as of c. 28).

Now to the original A/N:

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I can already imagine you pulling at your hair – I mean, I can practically hear you despair over this ("Sakura? Icha Icha…? Has hell frozen over yet?") …and trust me, I get it. I'd be weirded out if I were my own reader too. But don't worry. Spoiler alert: Sakura won't be getting her dainty little hands on it again. It was mostly for the comedy element.

On another note, I read all of your reviews – I'm somehow even in a community now – and they're all great and really encouraging! (And feel free to leave another one – I'm like a pokémon… and it's super effective!)

I'm also kind of giddy because some of you noticed last chapter's subtleties (you know who you are) which was more than I ever bargained for. I see I've got some pretty sharp readers out there. Just don't reveal the plot before _I_ get to.

See you next Friday!


	3. Trapped

Sakura fidgeted nervously as she waited for Kakashi's adjudication. Her teacher was looking over a neat little drawing that mapped out all the traps she had set around the house. Naruto's clones had helped her when she'd needed it, but mainly the boys had taken care of escorting Tazuna to the bridge while Sakura stayed behind, nursing Kakashi back to health and covertly booby-trapping the house.

As she was reflecting on this, Kakashi's fingers went to his chin thoughtfully. "Let me take a look at the actual traps."

Sakura nodded apprehensively and proceeded to help him to his feet. She'd have to tell Naruto to fetch some dead branches or something to be used as crutches, because supporting Kakashi's weight was really uncomfortable. Probably for him too since she was so short, but Sakura digressed. The point was that the long trip around the house and garden was extremely uncalled for – as was Kakashi's criticism:

"You can dodge this snare in four different ways," he admonished breezily. Recounting, Sakura found, was definitely a speciality of his. Never one to fall short though, he also excelled at pointing out that "the one tripwire is far too obvious" or "are you trying to kill our client?" And his personal favorite: "that wouldn't even trick a civilian, Sakura-chan."

Needles to say, Sakura was very, _very_ chagrined.

Iruka-sensei had always complimented her skills with the wire. _Always_. Sure, Kakashi might be better, but he had two decades of experience on his belt, while Sakura was a freshly minted genin. What did he expect, honestly? If anything, her traps were _advanced._

But Kakashi would have none of it (not that Sakura actually dared voice her true thoughts). He made her arm each and every single booby trap all over again, some even more than once. Meanwhile he comfortably lounged under the shade of a tree, giggling and reading Icha Icha.

 _Don't hurt yourself, now,_ thought Sakura spitefully.

It was extremely aggravating. And now even more so than usual, because – she would never admit it to anyone, but – she was hooked to that dumb book of his. Would Ai end up killing Junko? Sakura, who had been picturing Junko as an embellished version of adult-Sasuke, really hoped that she wouldn't. They loved each other, damnit! It wasn't fair! Why was love so terribly–

"Sakura-chan? The traps are waiting."

 _Right, so now it's offensive to make inanimate objects wait, but not your team._

Dejectedly snapping back to reality, Sakura leveled Kakashi with her best glare. Privately she was embarrassed.

 _Not again, Sakura!_ she lamented. _You've got to stop thinking about_ _that stupid book! You're better than that garbage!_

But her thoughts quickly took a darker turn: it was _all_ Kakashi's fault. Of course. Because Hatake Kakashi was hard to please to the point of ridiculousness, her mind just had no choice but to wander. To add insult to injury, after what seemed like endless hours of fumbling with wires and kunai calculating weight relations, stringing sheaves together and dropping a deathfall trap onto her red, newly-manicured toenail, Kakashi was only mildly satisfied.

"Now that that's been taken care of," he said breezily, "find all the loopholes."

 _Excuse me?_ Inner Sakura stomped her foot. _Those dead traps are perfectly deadly! Shanaro!_

"Well?" Kakashi arched an eyebrow. "I'm waiting." He waved the plan around casually.

 _Well, I'd like to keep it that way for once. Cha!_

 _For at least two hours._ Outer Sakura mentally added.

 _Exactly. He won't know what hit him!_ _That's payback, Sensei!_

In reality, Sakura was just staring at the map. Jokes aside, she had designed this so that no one could get in. What part of that didn't Sensei understand? As much as Sakura looked, she couldn't spot any sort of opening even in the garden. But Kakashi remained unmoved.

Finally, **_just_** to gauge his reaction, Sakura ventured:

"Ne, Sensei? At least give me a clue…?"

The hand holding his stupid book twitched. Besides that, there was no outward clue that Sakura had so much as spoken.

"Kakashi-sensei!… You aren't supposed to be ignoring me…"

There was an ambiguous little hum.

"Do you even get paid for your job?"

Nothing.

"That's it! I'm going to file a complaint when we get back." _If we get back._

Sensei passed a page of Icha Icha.

"…believe it."

His head suddenly swiveled towards her like a rocket, wide-eyed. Sakura smirked triumphantly. _Finally._

"I might feel inclined to make a donation if you get this right," Kakashi eventually conceded.

 _YES!_ Sakura innerly yelled. _Is he gonna lend me Icha Icha?_ Finally, she'd know what happened to Junko!

"We have a deal, Sensei!"

Without even waiting for one of his belated ambiguous little hums, Sakura once again threw herself into her work. And indeed, after some vicious thinking and contemplating of tripwire timings and respecting angle inclinations after projectile detonation, she came to a complicated solution involving a lot of perfectly executed backflips.

 _Cha! That Baka-sensei…! He's good, but I'm up for the challenge, shanaro!_ Sakura cracked her knuckles innerly as she finished a rather winded explanation on trap-dodging.

"Sakura." Kakashi uttered slowly.

 _If that's not an awestruck face, I don't know what is,_ she thought, pleased with herself. _Can you see me now, Sasuke-kun? I bet Ino-pig wouldn't be able to figure it out._

"Sakura." Kakashi repeated. "That part with all the somersaulting…"

"Yes, Sensei?" That had been the most tricky, but of course Sakura had got it right in the end.

"What's keeping me from swapping places with the deadfall?"

What.

 _You can't be serious._

"Ah, yes, of course I knew that, Sensei! I just thought you didn't want me to use kawarimi is all!"

"Well, I don't doubt Zabuza would appreciate your consideration, but…" There was an awkward silence, "redo it."

 **TWISTED**

Sakura worked well into the night, until her arms trembled from stretching them so much and her fingers were cut open with wire and scrapes. Her indisposed right hand didn't make things any easier either.

Under any other circumstances, she wouldn't have bothered more than ten minutes with all the work, but fear does incredible things for one's motivation. After Kakashi had pointed out the flaw in her planning, Sakura had started seeing errors herself – she couldn't _stop_ seeing them. She felt so exposed… it was terrifying.

The thought of going to bed without the house heavily warded bothered her immensely, even after Kakashi pointed out to Sasuke-kun and Naruto that Zabuza would likely be out of commission for a while.

After horrible hours of working against the clock and fretting all the while, Sakura felt like she hadn't accomplished much of anything with the new traps. Tazuna would eventually need to leave the house after all, and she was afraid that Naruto would somehow manage to detonate the explosive tags in their faces if she went overkill.

Even working as hard as she was, there were still seven ways to get in.

That night, Sakura didn't sleep. (Again.)

 **TWISTED**

She was restless; constantly getting up to the loo or to fetch water. At about one in the morning, her dazed gaze fixed on a picture frame of Kaiza, the deceased hero of Wave country, hugging Inari, the boy he had saved (and whose pessimistic remarks about their impending demise more often than not made Sakura want to strangle him).

"You should be in bed."

Sakura whirled around, a kunai already–

"Sensei!" she screeched half-relieved, half-mad at his nerve.

 _Déjà vu anyone?_ Inner Sakura commented.

Kakashi apparently didn't feel guiltily for nearly making her flip out twice in a row.

"–after all, a girl your age needs her beauty sleep, ne?" He said so in such a completely blasé tone that suggested he really didn't care, as he shooed her towards her room. Then he saw the wire clutched in her hand. "Setting traps inside the house won't deter Zabuza from entering, Sakura. You need to stop obsessing."

Sakura wrinkled her nose, her eyes suddenly watery. Sasuke-kun, who had fought Zabuza so bravely, was sleeping soundly and peacefully. Sakura loved that innate calmness about him – but this time it wasn't just him: even _Naruto_ was snoring mindlessly right next door. And Sakura hadn't even fought Zabuza like they had – she'd only been at blade point once, she hadn't even gotten a scratch on her – but she was _terrified_ to the point of wanting to quit.

"There's a reason why I stole your book, you know?" she settled for saying. _Smooth!_ Inner Sakura cheered. Now Sensei would take pity on her nightmares and give her the book.

But there was just silence.

"Can you give it to me?"

"No."

"But Sensei! I really wanted to know what happened to Junko and Ai!"

Kakashi's one visible eye blinked owlishly. Obviously he had yet to wrap his mind around the idea that his student shared the same (terrible) taste in literature as him.

"Do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Wha–"

"Long story short: they have sex, Ai tries to kill Junko but he's prepared, ergo it doesn't happen and she escapes. Mainly it's so the author can milk more money out of a sequel."

Sakura's mouth dropped open.

First she flushed out of embarrassment, but quickly it melted into scorching fury. Anyone who'd heard a lion growl would no doubt find it cute in comparison to what followed:

"I HATE YOUR GUTS SO MUCH I'M GONNA GET YOU ARRESTED LIKE FOREVER YOU SPOILER DEMON-SENSEI!"

"In my defense, you asked for it."

"As if! I was just trying to glean how unprofessional you could get!" screamed Sakura shrilly. Her voice got high pitched when she lied. "And for the record: it's very unprofessional! I'm not even interested in this lowly literature! Hmp."

"Right. If you keep this up you'll wake–"

Sakura didn't want to hear it: "Sensei, I'm interested in something to keep me busy at night, not two sentences!" "

"Ah… in that case…" Kakashi suddenly seemed a little too happy to deliver. "I did say I'd make a donation, didn't I?" He reached into his seemingly bottomless pockets.

But he didn't give her Icha Icha. Instead, he delivered a condescing headpat ( _what am I, a dog?_ ) and then handed her some dumb-looking scroll.

"What's this?" Sakura sputtered.

"Did you have anything in particular in mind earlier? That scroll will help you sleep."

The old sly-boots!

Judging by Kakashi's deadpan, Sakura's defensive claims were just that to him: claims. Giving her a condescing wave, he did an around-about and ambled down the hall.

Sakura frowned at the scroll he had given her, shouted an insincere thank you, and stomped back to her room.

Once again she was alone with her thoughts.

It was dated twelve years ago. Browsing through it, Sakura realized that the scroll covered genjutsu theory.

 _Now I get what he meant._ It went on and on about genjutsu spotting and conceptualism, right to the most nitpicky of details.

It was the ultimate lullaby.

That night, Sakura finally managed to fall asleep. She would wonder later whether the nightmares were worth it.

 _Don't be stupid,_ Inner Sakura growled at the breakfast table. _Our hair was getting greasy and our skin paler from lack of sleep. I'll bet Sasuke-kun would be disgusted if he saw beneath all the makeup!_

Sakura nodded to herself numbly as she slurped on the miso soup. Meanwhile, Kakashi declared that they should start training to prepare for Zabuza's return.

 _Cha! When do we start?_

She eagerly got up.

"Ah… Sakura-chan?" Kakashi stopped her as she made to follow them. "You should stay at home. Your foot is still injured."

Disappointed, Sakura only nodded. She'd been hoping to see Sasuke-kun take his shirt off, but apparently that was too much to ask for. Instead, she got to help with the dishes and cleaning, all the while listening to Inari complain about their lost cause. Like she wanted to hear about the metaphorical noose which seemed to continuously loom about her head. Stupid kid.

 **TWSITED**

After two hours, Sensei came back.

"Sakura," he drawled. "I took the liberty of testing your traps. They are…" Sakura's eyes widened in anticipation, "marginally better."

"Huh?"

 _What do you mean, marginally? That absolute jerk–!_

"What do you use shuriken for?" Kakashi quizzed suddenly.

"They are useful tools to distract the enemy or administer non-fatal injuries." Sakura supplied somewhat reluctantly. "Many ninja like to use them for training because they are difficult to dodge but easy to heal from. Additionally, shuriken are often used to plant fake evidence in assassination missions."

"Very good" Sensei said, "but that's not it."

 _What. Is. His. Problem. That was a freaking compilation of three different textbooks! SHA-NA-RO!_ Inner Sakura toppled metaphorical rocks over her head.

"W-why not, Sensei?"

Kakashi looked at her searchingly. "Shuriken are ideal for detonating traps from a distance."

Sakura's eyes widened. As in, to cut the wire with a single shuriken? But that was imposible!

"Your traps all lack a remote-control method." Kakashi elaborated. "Kunai are too big for a simple tripwire, Sakura-chan. You need to rig them differently."

"But Sensei! No one has an aim that insane!" Sakura protested. "Not with shuriken!"

"As it happens, I do."

And then he demonstrated by setting off all the traps in the clearing without moving from the spot, just with shuriken.

 _But that would mean…_ Sakura thought with panic, _that Zabuza could do the same! Was there even a possible trap that could not be avoided?!_

She said as much to Kakashi, who simply shrugged. "I told you, didn't I? Look underneath the underneath."

"Ah! I get it, Sensei!" Sakura exclaimed, puffing out her chest. And for the first time, she really did. "Traps aren't just the complexity of the mechanism, but your own readiness to spot them!"

Kakashi patted her on the head.

"I'm glad you agree. That'll make things easier."

 _Errr… wait. I think he's misunderstanding something…_

Sakura thought awkwardly.

"Sensei, my aim isn't _that_ great…"

Kakashi closed his book with a smile.

"Not if I can help it."

 **TWISTED**

There you have the next chapter! :)

Instead of protecting Tazuna in the mornings or learning tree-climbing, Sakura is stuck hovering over Kakashi like a helicopter parent and arming traps pointlessly. Nice, right? I mean, she was always pretty useless.

…just kidding. It'll pay off, you'll see. Her attitude isn't exactly exemplary now, but, there'd be no point to this story if it were right from the get-go. Sakura has a long way to go. Spoiler alert: we'll be getting some real action in chapter six, by the way, so hold on tight! – and review, if you can spare a minute. Even a simple "good work" or "last chapter was better" would help me a lot. Anyways, see you next Friday!


	4. Hole-making 101

Kakashi was, in Sakura's opinion, an oddball of a teacher. Instead of giving her a target to throw shuriken at, or at the very least a quick rundown of what she was doing wrong, he made her do sit-ups and push-ups until her arms trembled with exertion. She had lasted half an hour doing push-ups and still Kakashi looked thoroughly dissatisfied.

"Your form is wrong," he informed her.

 _There's a fricking form for doing this?_

"Your nose needs to touch the ground with each push up. Your arms are spread too wide open," Kakashi droned.

Sakura followed his orders.

"Yes, that's better. Also, squeeze your buttocks together.

"Sensei!" She screeched. "You're a horrible teacher! Pervert! Pervert! _Pervert!_ "

"Don't look for excuses to stop," by the looks of it, Kakashi was completely unruffled. "And your buttocks are just another part of your body, Sakura-chan. I would be a neglectful teacher if I withheld critical advice from you."

 _A neglectful teacher? Is this a joke?_

Sniffing, Sakura resumed her push-ups. She would have kept screaming had she been able to. As it was, she had trouble breathing. So she squeezed her butt, flexed her arms, and gritted her teeth.

 **TWISTED**

After eight and a half minutes, Sakura was forced to painfully swallow her words.

"This… isn't… for me…" she wheezed out.

"If you feel like you can't continue, then channel chakra into your arm muscles," Kakashi advised from somewhere in the rightmost treetop.

Scowling at him but still compliant, Sakura got down to work. She hadn't been expecting that something as simple as channeling chakra could be so tricky. It took a lot of concentration just to keep up – and to bat, her arms were now tingling and itching impossibly, and after a few minutes in which they started throbbing a little, Sakura was too distraught to keep going.

"What is this, Sensei?" she fretted. "It feels like my muscles are being torn apart and then sewn back together! I don't like it!"

Suddenly, Kakashi was right next to her! Sakura gasped.

 _That's his sharingan!_

"Looks like you're doing it right… Sakura-chan."

 _Hah?_

 _What's his deal?_ Inner growled defensively. _Oddball._

Out-loud, she asked: "Wh-what do you mean, Sensei?"

"Maa… basically, you're speeding up muscle growth in your arms. I didn't think you'd succeed."

 _Real smooth, that one. Your trust in me is so touching._

But then, by 'you', was he perhaps referring to team seven as a whole?

"What?" Sakura whispered. "You mean…! Sasuke-kun wouldn't be able to do this?"

"I don't think so, no," Kakashi said idly. "The few who could do it usually have no need for that trick anymore."

"But… why? I don't understand."

Kakashi re-opened his book. "Simply put, it requires a lot of chakra control," he uttered. "You seem to have an intuitive understanding over it, Sakura-chan, but this is not the norm. The exercise I am having your teammates perform is based on stimulating that."

 _I am… talented? Like, really talented? Is that what he's saying?_

Sakura gulped. Suddenly, there was a knot in her stomach. "I still don't understand though." She paused to gather her thoughts. "Iruka-sensei said that we all channeled chakra into our muscles, even if unconsciously."

"But you didn't do it unconsciously now, did you?"

Sakura shook her head, looking at her unconcerned teacher cautiously.

"Your teammates are having a hard time channeling even amounts of chakra to the soles of their feet," he told her idly, "which doesn't even involve infiltrating tissue or muscle groups. Sakura-chan, do you know how muscle growth works?"

Somewhat startled at her alarming lack of knowledge on the topic, Sakura shook her head, wondering why she'd never thought to check before.

Kakashi gave a tired sigh.

"Inconvenient, but not unexpected," he muttered to himself.

 **TWISTED**

 _We heard that, jerk._

"After your workout just now," Kakashi began methodically, "your body repairs or replaces damaged muscle fibers through a cellular process where it fuses them together to form new ones." He scanned her utterly blank face. "You following?"

Sakura gave him an offended look.

The bland poker face was a trait she couldn't correct no matter what. She always stared at the back of people's heads creepily during exams without even noticing. Then they shivered and gave her the stink eye. It was so not cool.

Instead of explaining all this (because really, Kakashi didn't care either way), Sakura rearranged her face from creepy to cute in less than a second, and chirped: "Yes, Sensei!"

Kakashi didn't ask any questions.

"These repaired fibers increase in thickness and number, giving way to muscle growth." he instead drawled. "By channeling your chakra deep into your muscles, you are stimulating your cells to work quicker than they would normally." He frowned thoughtfully. "Ma… at least, that's the gist of it."

 _Amazing!_

"Chakra can really do that, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Why, Sakura-chan, you aren't surprised about the earthquakes and a little bit of muscle baffles you?"

Sakura shrugged helplessly, grinning a little. "But Sensei! Doesn't that mean that you could also accelerate blood clotting, in order to close wounds during combat?"

Kakashi rubbed his neck.

"That's not really my field of expertise, Sakura-chan." he said, shrugging. "Though medics can do that, yes."

Suddenly struck by an idea, Sakura channeled chakra into her right hand, hoping that the injury would close. It only tingled unpleasantly and spat out a little bit of blood.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Kakashi cautioned, looking at it briefly. "Unlike your muscles, you don't really know where your separate cells are, so you could end up mutating the wrong one and dying from cancer."

Sakura nearly chocked out of shock, hiding her right hand and wiping it against her dress viciously.

Kakashi scratched his head idly. "Now, it wouldn't be good for your muscles to over-heal, so we will give them an hour of rest." Sakura was already mid inner-dance when he added: "show me what you know about genjutsu."

She halted. She knew a lot of things about genjutsu, but Kakashi wanted her to demonstrate something.

After a pause, she performed kai, the release technique. Kakashi gave his signature long-shuddering sigh.

 _He thinks no one sees it, but we do,_ Inner remarked bitingly. _You're so rude, Baka-sensei!_

Unaware of her deprecation, Kakashi asked the question Sakura least wanted to hear:

"You don't know how to cast them?"

"No one taught me, _Sensei_." Sakura stressed venomously. Or rather, Inner did.

Sighing dramatically, Kakashi removed his hands from the crutches and curled his fingers into Monkey, then reverse Ram, then Rat, then Tiger. Suddenly, the ground they were standing on disappeared, making Sakura feel slightly dizzy – even though she _knew_ it was still there.

"I have to check on those two for a while," Kakashi then announced lackadaisically, retrieving his crutches from the (nonexistent) ground. "Master this while I'm gone."

And without preamble, he moseyed down the path, Icha Icha firmly in hand.

 _Hmp. You'll see how well we do, jerk._

"Kay!" Sakura yelled, effectively escaping his illusion.

 _Take that, Kakashi-sensei!_ Inner Sakura bellowed, vindicated.

Now to get to the jutsu.

After the initial hype, Sakura tried to recall the hand-signs. She'd take care of this quickly so that she could go home and shower before Sasuke-kun returned. Kaguya forbid he see Sakura in that sweaty, smelly state. (Kaguya also curse Kakashi.)

But to her utmost astonishment, after channeling chakra to her fingers and walking them through the hand-sign sequence, nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

Sakura was flabbergasted.

 _Monkey, reverse Ram, Ox, Tiger._

The sequence was right, she was sure. But why was nothing happening? She certainly didn't expect to get it right on the first try, but shouldn't there be some kind of reaction?

Sakura tried again, this time picturing a pit in her mind's eye. The results were at least, well, _there_ , but still laughable. There was a patch of earth where there should have been grass, but it was completely in 2D. It didn't look like a hole at all. She supposed that the hole would look different depending on perspective, but knowing the problem didn't provide much of an answer.

Suddenly, Sakura remembered all those extra credit models she had carved for Iruka-sensei, and at once she had the solution. She undid the illusion and did her best to imagine the hole in a rotating perspective.

 _This'll cut it!_ Inner Sakura stated hopefully.

Cut was an understandment.

The end result was a _square_. Sakura's eyebrow twitched. It was obvious now. She had only imagined it from four different viewpoints at the same time, as opposed to a gazillion, so she got a freaking _square_.

Annoyed, she undid the illusion and tried again. And again. She was beginning to regret dispelling Sensei's – it would've at least given her something to go off on. After what felt like hours, there was a round circle – not a square nor an icosahedron, a _circle_ , in the middle of the clearing. But then again, Sakura realized that no pit was a perfect circle, and that the bottom should look darker than the top. And, and, _and_ … Gritting her teeth, she tried one last time. And another. And another last time. And then some.

"Hm… why does that pit have perfectly straight walls?"

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin at the appearance of her teacher – whom she was beginning to hate with a vengeance.

"I'm working on it, _Sensei_." she grouched venomously. Inner had been strangely absent during the whole debacle, but now she was making up for lost time.

"Ma, ma… Sakura-chan, don't give me that look." Kakashi tampered, flicking a leaf into the pit.

It vanished as soon as it approached the genjutsu. Sakura frowned, completely annoyed. So now she had to adapt it to admit changes in the environment?

 _That's so much bull!_ Inner exclaimed. _I'll gut whoever decided I am a genjutsu type!_

"Tell me, Sakura-chan, how did you make this cylindrical hole appear?" Kakashi queried.

Sakura would've rolled her eyes at him but settled for an explanation.

"…So you redo the genjutsu each time?" Kakashi checked after she was done, sounding baffled.

"Yeah…?"

Kakashi twirled his left crutch around, looking vaguely disbelieving.

"…that's what the Tiger seal is for." He scratched his cheek, his eye crinkling. "If you return to it, you can freely make modifications to your genjutsu."

Outer Sakura gaped in disbelief.

Inner Sakura outright howled.

 _That old sly-boots!_ she shrieked _. Any more crucial information you're withholding from us?!_

Sakura voiced this complaint slightly more politely.

Kakashi shrugged.

"Genjutsu's different for everyone. You do whatever floats your boat, Sakura." He scratched his head. "Though I've heard that genjutsu masters sometimes add sketches and other annotations to their genjutsu while it's still in development. You could try, I guess."

Sakura pursed her lips. She hadn't forgotten the horrible illusion he'd put her through in her genin test.

"How do _you_ do it?" she insisted.

"Hoe?" Kakashi's tone was faintly amused. "I have the sharingan, Sakura-chan."

Just the mention of it brought a shudder to Sakura's knees, so she quickly dropped the topic.

"A sketch? How?"

Kakashi seemed to be thinking for a moment.

"Don't tell this to Kurenai-san," he said, his eye crinkling mirthfully, "but I once copied this from her."

Sakura didn't know who Kurenai-san was, but her nerves were already tensing in anticipation. She watched with baited breath as Kakashi performed the Tiger seal, then Monkey and then Rat, remaining in that position. Suddenly, a thin, blue line appeared in the air, then another, and another until a kanji came to be.

'SHINOBI', it read.

A pearl of laughter escaped Sakura.

" _That's so cool!"_ she chirped, Inner Sakura fully agreeing for once. Kakashi's responding smile seemed a tad more genuine than usual.

"I thought so too," he agreed merrily. "I'm sure Kurenai would understand."

By the way his eye shone, Sakura was rather inclined to believe otherwise.

 **TWISTED**

I'm back, folks.

I guess this chapter wasn't _that_ eventful – but really, character growth is all about learning new things, and since this tale is all about character growth, learning things was bound to happen.

As always, reviews are awesome. Stay tuned!


	5. Drollying on Sasuke’s Toothbrush

"Sakura-chan, you can start channeling chakra now."

"I already have, Sensei." Sakura replied in what Ino-pig used to call her 'teacher-mascot-Sakura' voice.

"Sakura-chan, I don't recall teaching you mediocrity."

"That's only natural, Sensei," Sakura simpered acidically, "because you never even bothered to teach me at all."

By the way Kakashi stared at her, one would think that Sakura had grown another head. And then her words hit her.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ she admonished inwardly. She had given her inner self free reign for a moment. What would Sasuke-kun say if he heard her sassing at Sensei like that?

Then Kakashi-sensei went and grinned and let out a rather wheezy chuckle.

"Is that a student's calling, I hear?"

"Uh… Sensei…"

"Chanel chakra to your arm, Sakura."

"I-I already–"

"What would Sasuke say I wonder, if he heard you lying to your poor, injured teacher so cruelly, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura froze.

 _He can read minds now?_

Crossing her arms, she grunted.

"I already channeled chakra."

"I think we both know you didn't."

 _Again: how?_

"Why don't you tell Sensei what's wrong?" Kakashi continued nicely.

Inner Sakura leaped at the chance: "There's always chakra enhancement to throw those shuriken, Sensei!" she informed. "I don't need to look like a _macho_ while doing it!"

Kakashi had a rather appalled look on his face. Finally, when Sakura finished with: "besides, the cell-stimulation is really uncomfortable!" he had recoiled into a tree, hands planted firmly in his pockets.

"About the cell stimulation…" he said awkwardly, "it will probably bother you less if you keep the chakra in your muscles throughout training…"

"That's not even the point!" Sakura insisted agitatedly. "What will Sasuke-kun say if my arms look like those of an orangutan?"

There was a rather thick silence in which Sakura breathed heavily out of her nose and Kakashi… Kakashi clasped his hands behind his back and stared at her.

"Sakura-chan," he placated. "Your arms haven't changed whatsoever."

Giving him an annoyed glare, Sakura was about to rebuke – but suddenly stopped. Inspecting her arms, she realized that they indeed looked as slim and dainty as ever.

"You're right, Sensei." She smiled widely.

Kakashi regaled her with the usual condescending head pat. "Why don't you start with some target practice, if you are so tired of the pushups?"

Sakura tried to ask him to take look at her grip, but her teacher was quick to dismiss her:

"So sorry, there's something I need to do."

 _Probably reading Icha Icha while I'm stuck here,_ Inner Sakura grouched. But before she could voice her complaints, Kakashi had already made himself scarce.

 **TWISTED**

After ten minutes of throwing shuriken at stray trees, Sakura already wanted to quit. The skin of her right hand still pulled when she went through the motions of throwing, and her left-handed aim was not on-par with what she needed. She was constantly forced to put the exercise on hold and fetch stray shuriken, all the while thinking about what Sasuke-kun was doing right then.

"Good to see my student knows how to aim," a voice behind her said lightly. Sakura was already getting used to Kakashi's unnerving entrances, so she responded in kind by grunting and flicking a shuriken at him – which he caught.

"Now, now, did no one ever tell you that coiled muscles and a tense stance will do nothing for your aim?"

Sakura chucked the shuriken at his face this time.

"Hm… Much better, I knew you are a flexible learner," her teacher commented, twirling it about lazily.

 _Is that a compliment I hear?_ Inner Sakura preened.

"Now, as a reward, I decided to beseech you with a present." Kakashi added cheerfully, pulling out a pair of–

"Sasuke-kun's arm-warmers!" _Yes!_

"I'm glad your observational skills are still at work."

"Did Sasuke-kun give them to you?"

There was a rather telling silence, then Kakashi said "he had two pairs," by way of explanation.

Sakura took them hesitantly and pulled them on. Her first thought was: _this is an indirect skin to skin brush with Sasuke-kun!_ And her second thought was: _but why are they so heavy?_

She asked as much, to which Kakashi answered: "do you want them or not?"

Of course, Sakura quickly reassured him that she did.

"But wait! Are you trying to make Sasuke-kun think that I stole them?"

"So suspicious…" Kakashi lamented. "If you don't want him to recognize them, why don't you do something about it?"

And suddenly, Sakura understood exactly what he wanted: "I'm supposed to use genjutsu, aren't I?" she deadpanned. "And the test is to see whether Sasuke-kun will notice."

Kakashi didn't give any indicators that that was the right answer, but really, it was so like him to use her feelings for Sasuke-kun as a training motivation that she wasn't even surprised.

Besides, _if he keeps getting us Sasuke-kun's clothes, I have nothing against it!_ Inner Sakura declared hotly. _Or a toothbrush…!_ she nearly fainted at the thought.

Sasuke-kun's red toothbrush…

 **TWISTED**

After a while of hard work, Sakura was satisfied with her creation.

"How do you like my new arm-warmers, Kakashi-sensei?" she questioned cheerfully.

They _looked_ red, since that would match her dress, and instead of a strap, they ended in a smooth outline of the curve of her hands, right up to her knuckles. (Also, they hugged her form since that was more fashionable – for a girl! Not that Sasuke-kun wasn't fashionable!)

"Hm…" Kakashi evaluated. "Sasuke's scent is still all over it."

Sakura gave him a narrow look.

"So this is how you planned to convince me to learn smell genjutsu!" she exclaimed indignantly. "I told you already, Sensei, I don't want to spend hours with my eyes closed just _smelling_ things."

"I suppose Sasuke will accuse you of thievery then. Too bad, I'd rather my students don't fight."

"Sensei!" Ugh!

 _Hey wait… wouldn't that mean that we'd never have to smell sweaty after training again?_ Inner Sakura realized.

That gave her pause.

 _Yes! Smelling nicely in any situation is any girl's dream!_ Sakura thought giddily, picturing Ino with stinky armpits. _Smell training it is then!_

With a sigh, (so as not to seem too eager), Sakura got to work.

 **TWISTED**

By the time she came back from shuriken practice in the afternoon, her whole body smelled like jasmine and lilacs, and her lips wouldn't stop smiling.

"Sakura-chan! You got arm-warmers?" Naruto quizzed her.

Sakura nervously glanced at Sasuke-kun, but he wasn't looking at her right then. _He never looks at me…_ she thought sadly. To her teammate, she replied coldly:

"Leave me alone, Naruto," and shut the kitchen door in his face.

 _He should get over his pathetic crush already,_ Inner jeered. _He's so self-centered. Doesn't he know he's annoying?_

 **TWISTED**

Okay folks. Not much to say this time. Just… merry Christmas!

I'll be doing a shoutout on Christmas Eve, so check the update on the seventh chapter if you think you might be in it!

Have fun!


	6. Zabuza’s Assault

"Ne, Sakura-chan, what's that doodle?"

Sakura leveled Naruto with an annoyed, borderline furious look, and used the sketching pad in her hands to rabidly bonk him on the head.

 _That doodle_ , was a drawing of Sasuke-kun she had spent fifty minutes on. And Naruto had just metaphorically trampled on it, like he _always_ did. (Admittedly though, it really didn't do Sasuke-kun's beauty any justice, to put it mildly.)

Suddenly, Sakura was struck by an idea.

"Naruto! Stay put, I'm going to draw you."

If his face came out wrong, well, so what? He'd be good for learning proportions. Or at least, that was the plan – alas, with Naruto, nothing ever went according to plan. The annoying blonde kept fidgeting about and changing positions, which only accomplished to annoy Sakura and break a few pencils.

By mid-morning (because they had been at the bridge since five a.m.), Sakura was somewhat more confident in her sketching skills ( _no doubt our prodigious memory has something to do with that, cha!_ ) but she still had a ways to go before she could show Sasuke-kun one of her drawings and ever look him in the eye afterwards.

Annoyingly enough, Naruto was acting stupidly edgy, and the increasing mist was dampening her sketches anyway, so Sakura put them away and took out her bento.

"Hey, hey! Sakura-chan! Can you feed me again?" Naruto yelled, not unlike an eager puppy.

"Naruto-baka!" Sakura condescended, tugging the bento out of his reach. "You're a _clone_!"

But then, unbidden, came a strangled sound from behind them. Sakura gave a start, a kunai in her hand before she even realized she'd taken it out. Thankfully, it was just Tazuna, who had chocked on his alcohol.

 _Geez, that geezer…_ Inner Sakura thought with a sigh. _Scaring us like that…_

But then she looked a little bit closer and the blood in her veins froze. Tazuna was still staring wide-eyed at something behind them, and that's when Sakura lost her nerve. In a fit of panic, she grabbed a flustered Naruto and dragged him to stand in formation before the bridge builder.

Her fingers were trembling with fear.

Even her (dense) teammate seemed to understand that something was suddenly amiss, his head swiveling around frantically, his teeth gritted so strongly that Sakura could hear them gnashing. But that was it. Besides that, they were surrounded by silence and mist. The only thing she could see was her discarded bento.

Yet then – it was just a split second – but she was sure that she had spotted the lurking of a huge, crescent shape within the mist. A shape which she still dreamed of pressed against her neck.

There was a stifled gasp, and Sakura bolted into the opposite direction.

 _Zabuza is here._

 **TWISTED**

Unfortunately, the opposite direction happened to be where the bridge ended.

They were cornered, with nowhere to go, nowhere to flee… and it was all Sakura's fault for panicking and acting on a whim! They were going to die, die, die!

She was hyperventilating, trembling, scared, and waiting. Waiting for the spider to wind its hairy claws around a trapped bug that could no longer fly…

In the course of her (not exactly long) genin career, Sakura had done a great deal of waiting. Waiting for hours on end only for Kakashi to show up reading porn, waiting for Naruto to stop yelling, waiting for Sasuke-kun to finally like her, waiting in the quiet guest room for her own traps to detonate in the middle of the night… waiting. But this waiting had nothing on all of the others combined. It was terrible. It was constricting. It was worse than any nightmare could be, her awareness and yet lack of sight stifling her, chocking her, robbing her of reason and air, and–

"Wait! Sakura-chan!" Naruto whispered loudly. "We can do _this_!"

And then he was suddenly walking upside down on the bridge precipice, Tazuna secured firmly in his grip. Sakura's fear was too intense for her to be surprised by his stroke of genius. Instead, her mind immediately made the connection to what Kakashi-sensei had once mentioned – that the boys were 'having trouble with plastering an even amount of chakra on the soles of their feet'. It was lucky that she had spent so much time wondering about what Sasuke-kun might be doing during his time away, because her teacher's instructions were now fresh in her mind.

Sakura summoned her chakra to her toes and took a desperate plunge.

To her overwhelming relief, she found herself somehow clambered upside down on the wall, although she didn't feel confident in her ability to last for long in that position. With this in mind, she hurried over the bridge's rafters, right towards Naruto and Tazuna.

Zabuza had seen Tazuna with Naruto, which meant…

"Naruto! Transform into me!" Sakura whispered feverishly while snatching Tazuna's smelly sake bottle away. Her mind was unfocused and she could only think of one way to trick Zabuza into not killing their charge. Hurriedly, she cast the smell-erasing genjutsu on Naruto and Tazuna. "Naruto." she whispered feverishly, gripping his shoulders. "Can you make it with Tazuna across the sea? Avoid the beach – footprints – and _don't_ return home."

Naruto's cerulean eyes were wide with bewilderment and worry, and Sakura found that they were pretty. Would she ever see them again?

But Zabuza was already onto them, strolling forward from the beginning of the rafters (shit, shit, shit! what now?!) and Sakura was positive that her teammate was about to complain, to protect her, but there was just no _time_!

She threw a kunai with an explosive tag at Zabuza, detonating it in his face, and then a smokescreen at the same time as she showed both Naruto and Tazuna off the bridge. Like she'd hoped, the chaos of the explosion drowned out the telltale plop of the water.

In that moment, viridian eyes blinking past the dark smoke, teammates gone and feet wobbly, Sakura felt half-elated half-terrified that Zabuza hadn't noticed the ruse. Without waiting any longer, she hengued into Naruto and sprinted over the rafters, trying to put as much distance as she could manage between herself and the living nightmare. Almost as a second thought, she created a weightless clone of Tazuna to hang on her shoulders – she needed to make this believable.

Before running, Sakura spared another precious second to take a deep gulp of Tazuna's sake flask. It wasn't an entirely rational think to do, and Sakura would later wonder why she had. Maybe it was to conserve Tazuna's characteristic smell and mask her own, or maybe it was because she had always wanted a taste and this was her last chance.

Or maybe she just needed wings.

 **TWISTED**

None of the obstacle courses at the Academy had ever been this difficult, but then again, none of the obstacle courses at the Academy had involved being hunted down by an S-ranked criminal.

In that moment, Sakura was assaulted by the gripping certainty of death.

It was like a slap in the face.

She knew that she was crying – mourning – her life as Sakura Haruno. Would Ino bring flowers to her grave when she found out? The smiling face of her father, the serious countenance of her mother… both flashed briefly before her eyes, and then she was running again.

The only things that existed were the rafters, the drumming in her ears, and Zabuza's quick footsteps closing in.

Naturally, when the latter suddenly stopped, Sakura noticed.

The footsteps had stopped.

Like before, Sakura acted on instinct, without weighing down consequences like she had been taught at the Academy. But this time, her rashness saved her: with a jolt, Sakura had thrown herself sideways, at another rafter, plastering chakra into the left side of her body in hopes of clinging to a wall when – if – she hit it.

 **TWISTED**

The distant pain in her shoulder told her that she was still alive upon arriving, and the breaking smash of the previous rafter told her that Zabuza had indeed pounced on her.

To her dismay, she was too late to realize that she had unconsciously released her hengue. But by the time Zabuza's eyes had filled with a dark sort of understanding, Sakura had gathered her bearings and resumed her dead sprint with everything she had.

"Haku!" she heard Zabuza command behind her. "See if you find the bridge-builder! The one on her shoulders might be a clone!"

She hoped with all her heart that Naruto would survive – and as a second thought, also Tazuna.

Would he ever annoy her again? Crack stupid jokes that made her inner self spring into action like a resort? Something in Sakura's heart clenched.

But then she heard her pursuer leap again – or rather, she stopped hearing his footsteps – and she was forced to change rafters once more. Her chakra-coated feet stuck to a wall, leaving behind a heavy indent, in response to which Sakura instinctually reduced the amount of chakra-coating. Her natural understanding of rafter-walking was a lucky affair, for the chase soon evolved into a gravity-defying sprint, jumping from rafter to column and column to ceiling.

In her Academy days, Sakura had always been too afraid of chakra-jumping to mimic the boys in her class, and now she was dearly regretting the lack of practice. Her left shoulder throbbed, and the senbon which suddenly imbedded itself in her ear told her that – unlike when he pounced – she couldn't hear weapons when Zabuza threw them.

"Like your new earring, girl?" she heard him howl from behind her. His voice sounded too close for comfort, and so was the next kunai that missed her other ear by less than an inch.

With a grave sort of finality, Sakura realized that she couldn't keep turning her back to the enemy. She had to act.

For a brief moment, she wondered 'am I really doing this?', but by that time, her brain had already given the order. With a sharp turn that hurt her almost-healed ankle, prey leapt at predator, armed only with a kunai and the intent to kill. But Zabuza saw her coming – and she was still midair…! A part of Sakura's memory must have remembered Kakashi's suggestion to use kawarimi on a death trap – because the next thing she knew was that she had replaced herself with Zabuza's sword.

 **TWISTED**

It was partly a smart move, because she had both disarmed him and avoided a blade to the head all in one go (his heavy sword would probably sink into the sea, and if he dove under to fetch it, Zabuza would be exposed for attack).

But it was also an incredibly stupid move, because, instead of the hilt of a blade, the swordsman was now gripping Sakura's wrist, and she'd be a sorry excuse of a ninja to _ever_ think the sword his only weapon. There was a millisecond of surprise on Zabuza's end – which Sakura used to propel herself on his stomach, all in an attempt to tear her hand from his grip. He managed to tighten it just in time, but the force of Sakura's kick against him, combined with the force of her kick off, were enough to free herself.

Just as she had fancied herself alive, Zabuza gave a startled cry – probably at the loss of his precious killing weapon – and suddenly, the whole aura about him had changed. Sakura saw her own dead reflected in his eyes, breathed it in through her nose. It was stifling and beyond terrifying. Sakura wet herself.

She was already dead.

And just like that, Zabuza reached out while she was still in midair, grasped the hem of her dress and smashed her body sideways into a column. Instinctually, Sakura sent all of her chakra to her head to smother the blow, but the force was so strong that she nearly lost consciousness.

Blearily, Sakura glimpsed Zabuza's hovering face above her – then there was a faint pain in her skull, like someone was pulling at her hair, and she saw her own feet dangling over the sea. As her eyes closed, she heard the far off rumble of his voice – Zabuza, the S-rank criminal who had killed Sakura Haruno on her first real mission – talking about fair punishments and sinking swords, and drowning, but even it was fading… and Sakura began to hear a sort of static – high-pitched static – the sound of life deserting her, or maybe it was death's welcoming embrace. Under her eyelids, she felt a garish light encasing her lifeless body, as the volume of the static grew – this was it – and then she was falling.

 **TWISTED**

 _I'm a day early, I know. But I've got to take a flight tomorrow, I'll be carrying a huge suitcase from staying abroad in Berlin, and it's gonna be super stressful, so I figured it'd be better if I just update today. I'll be working on the shoutout as soon as I have everything packed and ready to go!_

 _Moving on._

 _What did you guys think? This action scene is really important to me. Was it thrilling? Realistic? Please, you need to tell me!_

 _Feedback! Feedback!_

 _If you see room for improvement, please let me know, guys!_

 _Happy holidays!_

 _PS: I 've changed the wording. Thanks for telling me, SkytheBioarch!_


	7. Wake up, Sakura!

Sakura had a dream – the blurry sort which are hard to forget and hard to remember. She dreamed of a distant voice telling her not to fall asleep – which was funny, because she was already asleep. It kept on imploring her to hang onto life. Which was funny, because she was already dead.

She was.

Right?

It took a while, but at some point, Sakura was _there_ enough to command her eyes to open.

The first question that crossed her mind, albeit rather incoherently, was: _why is the ceiling white?_

Then she remembered the ceiling of her room at Tazuna's, white with little indentations on it, and she knew that she wasn't in _her_ room. Almost simultaneously, she realized that her head was hurting a lot.

And then she remembered Zabuza.

With a start, she sat up in her futon. If not for the wave of nausea that promptly overcame her, Sakura would have probably already left the confines of her blanket by the time the shoji door slammed open.

Sakura vaguely heard the voices of her teammates calling her name. Her viridian eyes latched onto orange.

 _He's alive._

Naruto's sunny grin was right in place, as it should be, and Sakura barely managed a breathy chuckle in return.

 _I am alive too._

Sasuke-kun was leaning by the door, looking a bit tattered but otherwise handsome and healthy… and Sensei, well, he was there too.

Sakura vaguely registered Naruto gleefully going on about something, but as the most imminent questions had been answered, fatigue and pain kicked back in and she dropped back onto the futon.

Vaguely, she registered… Tsunami, – was it Tsunami? – handing her a cup of water. Sakura sipped at it obediently.

Then Tsunami left her immediate field of vision and only her teammates remained.

 **TWISTED**

"So," Kakashi began. "Now that we are all awake, I think it's about time we took care of that mission report, don't you think? Sasuke, care to write?"

"No! It isn't! Kakashi-sensei, you're like… centuries late!"

As Naruto began yelling at Kakashi for being lazy and letting Sasuke write, the only thing that crossed Sakura's mind was:

 _Is he serious?_

Inner Sakura was quick to deliver:

 _Awesome icebreaker, jerk! You've got a student on death's door here! Seriously, what the hell is his deal?!_

While Sakura was innerly blowing off steam, it had been agreed that Sasuke would write down what was said, and that Naruto would begin with the retelling.

"Okay, okay! Listen up!" the blonde exclaimed eagerly, as though all the attention weren't on him already. "So! The teme and I were climbing those trees and stuff, and then, bam! All of a sudden, I knew that Zabuza had attacked Sakura-chan at the bridge!"

"That's the memory of your clone, Naruto," Kakashi supplied drolly.

"Yeah! So my _clone_ and Sakura-chan went running down the bridge, I think? – and then she's all: take Tazuna-ojii and _swim_! And then, and then…! She threw us off the bridge!"

At this, everyone glanced at Sakura. Sakura blushed.

 _That baka is making it sound like we were trying to run away!_ Inner screeched indignantly.

"Yeah! So old man Tazuna and I swam to the shore – all stealthy and stuff – and also, diving a lot! So when we got there, we went to the rocks, because Sakura-chan said to avoid the beach, which was really stupid, because the rocks were really slippery and it was kinda hard to balance on them!"

"You could have used chakra to latch on, _idiot_." Sasuke spoke up for the first time. His voice was so velvety…

Sakura blushed.

Before Naruto could begin screaming at the remark, Kakashi patted him on the head and ushered him to continue.

"Yeah, so old man Tazuna said that we had to come back here–"

"Idiot!" Sakura parroted, startling everyone in the room. "Didn't you hear me when I said it was dangerous?"

"Yeah, but that's why we had to come, Sakura-chan!" Naruto rebuked. "Inari was in danger, and so was Tsunami!" Sakura's eyes widened. "When we got back… guess what?There were a bunch of passed out thugs in here!"

"They used my daughter as leverage," Tazuna added gravely from his post on the door. Sakura noted that he was alive too.

"Yeah!" Naruto agreed. "Apparently they started trash talking about this dude on the picture frame, and Inari got really mad because it was his dad, and then the thug threw the picture to the floor and it exploded in his face!"

There was a moment of silence, in which even Sasuke was giving Naruto an incredulous look. Then, Kakashi's eye slid towards Sakura.

"Did you set that trap, Sakura-chan?" he asked mildly.

Sakura's eyes widened.

"Y-yes. I did." Everyone was giving her incredulous or admiring looks, and Sakura felt her heart flutter with pride. "I figured that only an enemy would really bother to take the picture of this country's hero off the wall and break it, Sensei, so I arranged it to explode in that event."

"Woahhhh! That's so smart, Sakura-chan!" Naruto cheered, while Tsunami timidly inquired whether there were more such impromptu surprises.

"Good thinking," Kakashi commented flippantly. At his rare words of praise, Sakura was overcome with warmth. So her traps had paid off! "Since you are already the center of attention, Sakura-chan, why don't you tell us your version of events?" Kakashi then suggested.

Sakura nodded, trying to gather her thoughts and recollections. For a moment, she didn't know how to begin, but after that first part, the rest of the story came out naturally.

When she was done, Kakashi flipped his book open.

"I see…" he said thoughtfully. "Zabuza didn't discard his sword – _you_ did."

Sakura nodded. "So… what happened after I passed out?"

"Ain't it obvious?" Naruto bellowed giddily. "Sensei beat that nutter's ass to the ground!"

Kakashi picked at his ear idly, his usual little grin in place.

"The sea – actually. As it happens, going for a swim just after being electrocuted isn't good for one's health."

Sakura winced, then giggled.

"So that weird static I heard – and the blinding light – it was… you?"

"My Chidori," Kakashi informed offhandedly. "The popular analogy is 'a hundred birds chirping' but I suppose 'weird static' also makes for a flattering end."

Sakura sniggered lightly, just as Naruto began lamenting about the unfairness of their near-dead experience:

"Why am I the only one without a cool technique?!" he protested. "Even the teme unlocked those weirdo eyes!"

Sakura glanced at Sasuke-kun curiously.

"Sasuke-kun… did you unlock the sharingan?"

For once in her life, Sakura hoped that her Sasuke-kun would say 'no' to her.

Sasuke glanced at her silently.

"I did," he replied. "It's not the complete form, but it will be soon." His thoughts seemed to drift to a far place in his mind, and Sakura felt her heart clench.

 _It doesn't matter,_ she told herself. _Those eyes are Sasuke-kun's legacy! Even if they're a little scary… it doesn't matter._

 **TWISTED**

"Alright then," Kakashi drawled finally, closing his book to take the mission report from Sasuke. "Good work you three." Then, turning towards the boys, he sujested: "why don't you two go see if you can find Zabuza's sword – maybe some fisherman has gotten unlucky."

"You got it, Sensei!" Naruto saluted energetically and stormed off, yelling something about 'not letting the teme beat him this time'. Surprisingly enough, Sasuke remained rooted to the spot.

"Sakura."

It was the first time that Sasuke-kun had ever said her name. The way he said it… it made Sakura think of velvet and silk, and of how much she liked her Sasuke-kun.

"You followed the idiot down via the pillars." Sakura could only stare at his face raptly and nod. "How did you do it?"

It took a moment for her to process his question. She opened her mouth to answer–

"Now, now, Sasuke," Kakashi intervened. "As it happens, Sakura-chan is very talented with chakra control. Rather fortunate, if you ask me, given her little adventure. Now scam."

Sasuke gave Sakura a last searching look and then left.

"Why did you kick him out, Sensei?" Sakura complained.

Kakashi regaled her with a pitying (and rather condescending, in Sakura's opinion) pat on the head and a contemptuous smile.

"So much blood rushing to your head won't help that injury."

 _It was just a blush, jerk! I bet he loved crushing our dream moment!_

Sakura didn't know whether Kakashi had been serious or not, but she leveled him with a glare either way.

 _Jerk._

Kakashi calmly returned the eye-contact, unruffled by her weird temper bursts as always.

And that's when Sakura, for the first time, felt like she had a real connection with her standoffish teacher.

"Lend me Icha Icha?"

Aaaaand… he made himself scarce.

 **TWISTED**

 **DUN DUN DUN**

 **We're back to Sensei-student banter.**

 **And yes… there are deliberate plot holes in here.**

 **Tell me if you spot them :p**


	8. Arc II: Empty Home

_The first thing I'll do when I get home is hug my parents_ , Sakura thought resolutely. She would tell them all about her mission, about Zabuza and Haku and how Sasuke-kun had talked to her – confidentiality be thrown out of the window. She needed someone to hold her right then, to tell her that everything was fine, and that she didn't have to keep risking her life, that no one would begrudge her for wanting to quit.

But when Sakura unlocked her house door, her parents were already gone. Judging by the note on the fridge, she had missed them by just a few hours.

If only she hadn't spent who knows how long in bed because of her injuries… pursing her lips, Sakura gave her mirror a glare. Her already damaging forehead now had a scar, to make her chances with Sasuke-kun even worse. It was a completely vertical line which had apparently been the result of Zabuza's smashing her head against a protruding indentation on the wall. To make it even harder to accept, the medics had told her that the cut wouldn't have scarred under normal circumstances, but as it was, Kakashi's messy field job with the ninja-wire had left behind an ugly, dark mark – with still visible stitches. Sakura's only consolation was that her left temple was mostly covered by the bangs framing her face. Still, she had been angry at Sensei for a whole day after that.

 **TWISTED**

Since the hokage had decided to treat their mission as an A-rank, team 7 had gotten a monthly leave of absence, which meant that their time together was spent exclusively on training. Or in other words, it was an ideal opportunity to appraise Sasuke-kun's beauty. In just three days' time, Sakura had amassed a compilation of Sasuke-kun sketches, including Sasuke-kun wiping sweat from his brow, Sasuke-kun gripping a kunai, Sasuke-kun eating onigiri, and Sasuke-kun leaning on a bridge. And the best thing was that the sketches could be viewed any time, anywhere! The reason for this was Kurenai's secret technique that Kakashi had also secretly stolen. Sakura was aware that it was supposed to be used as a layout for genjutsu setting, but drawing Sasuke-kun's wondrous form while no one saw was much more exhilarating. It only required strong concentration and a mental grip on chakra and after images.

(And a lot of discreet staring.)

As expected, the result was much more rewarding than anything Kakashi-Sensei had ever taught her – by all means, she should be enthused – and yet, Sakura was conflicted. Since her near-dead experience at Wave Country, she had been giving her chosen career a lot of thought – more than she ever had during the entirety of her Academy-stay.

'Should I really keep risking my life like this?' she often wondered. If she quit being a ninja, there'd still be other hotties to conquer, right? There would still be other crazy love-rivals with a penchant for cat-fights, or rambunctious idiots with a puppy crush, and other sensei that arrived five hours late and read porn in a graveyard.

…okay, maybe not.

Sakura sighed. She had a dilemma. It was either losing her life as she knew it… or losing it altogether.

 **TWISTED**

Still, she kept going to the training grounds every morning, trying to pretend as though A-rank missions didn't exist; were none of her concern. M

On her fourth day of the routine though, something happened: she had moved to fetch a water bottle to give to Sasuke-kun after he finished kunai practice, when suddenly her feet were caught in something – and she was sailing through the air, the ground now a few paces under her head. With consternation, Sakura found that she was helplessly dangling on a thick, knotted rope.

 _And no one had noticed._

"Sensei!" she yelled, suddenly certain that it was his doing. "Please stop this! Whatever you're doing, leave me out of it!"

But Kakashi seemed to have other plans. He kept his face shoved in his book while Sakura was left helplessly-dangling on the end of a rope – much like Naruto had been on their first day. After a few minutes of fruitless complaining and scratching at it with a blunted kunai, Haruno Sakura realized that she was going to stay that way unless she did something, about it and so the knot-untying began. It was an arduous process, particularly on her arms, stomach muscles and neck, – mainly because it involved figuring out the complicated mechanisms of the copy-ninja's traps, all while pulling oneself upwards from a dangling upside-down position. Needles to say, it took Sakura an entire hour before she managed to completely free herself, and the first thing she did after landing was being sick in a bush.

At least it was over now.

And indeed, Sakura had assumed that the horrible mistake had been a one time thing – but she was wrong. Everyday, no matter what she was doing or where they were training, no matter how hard she tried to stay on the look-out for traps, (which were supposed to be a one-trick pony anyway), Sakura always, without fail, ended up caught at some point or other.

They were traps of all kinds and sizes, but no matter what, they were always utterly unflattering; leaving her a squiggling mess in a tree (inclusive dangling dress and all), painfully doing the splits while pressed against a huge sort of cobweb, or launching shuriken at thin threads until one of them hit home and released her from an upside-down cage. She always ended up with a dirty bottom after that.

It was, in short, a very belittling experience, and Sakura was glad when the vacation month was finally over. Unlike Naruto, she knew how to appreciate the beauty of delightful D-ranks, as opposed to risking her life on tasks completely beyond her. Or at least, she did for a while.

But when she, for the second time, noticed that all the daisies in their client's garden had eight petals, the right one of which was always crumbled, her dreams of peace and Sasuke-kun were once more put on hold.

"Kay!" she whispered. (Somehow, Sakura regretted breezing through Sensei's genjutsu scroll against insomnia, the constant illusions -onslaught would've been a lot easier to ignore had she not.) As if to prove her point, all the weeds that Naruto had been pulling revealed themselves as tulips, and the fake daisies as weeds. Sakura opened her mouth to scream, but a firm hand on her shoulder made her turn around instead. Behind her, Kakashi put a finger to his lips, as if to say: 'Don't interfere. Either they learn from this, or they don't. '

So Sakura let it be.

Two weeks later, she had exposed a dozen different genjutsu in all shapes and forms, while her teammates (at least Naruto) remained oblivious. Needles to say, Inner Sakura was having a field day.

 _Cha! Not even Sasuke-kun is as good as me! Watch me, Ino-pig, Sakura the merchant's daughter is better than you!_

"Ne, Sensei," she confidently quipped after breaking through a particularly trying trap. "Why don't you just tell Naruto to watch out for genjutsu? He's never going to notice at this rate." She was now completely certain of it, after a hypnotized dog had nearly dragged her teammate into a minefield.

"Oh?" Kakashi asked, then leafed through his book. "Does that mean you want me tell you of the five genjutsu you are under, Sakura-chan?"

She froze. "Wh-what?"

Kakashi remained silent.

"Tell me right now!" she demanded. But then changed her mind. "No, don't. I can do this myself."

Still no visible reaction.

„And besides," Sakura continued in her 'teacher mascot Sakura' voice, "you're not going to get me with this trick question, Sensei. There are only four genjutsu on me right now:" she started listing on her fingers –"the nice scent-genjutsu, the color genjutsu on Sasuke-kun's arm warmers, the shape changer on them, and a new one that I figured out myself and makes my scar less obvious."

Kakashi hummed noncommittally, not acknowledging her recent success.

"Sensei?" Sakura called to no avail, suddenly unsure. Were there really five? What had she missed?

Nervously, she dispelled the scent genjutsu as well as the one on her scar, leaving only the ones on Sasuke-kun's arm-warmers, which she gingerly slipped off. Sakura was left staring at herself, wondering where that last genjutsu could be. And then, as she was looking at her slim arms, it clicked. "Kay!" she exclaimed, almost wishing that her suspicions weren't true. Alas, they were. Appalled, she realized that her arms looked positively macho.

"You – you _tricked_ me!" Sakura accused, completely horrified. "How could you?"

Kakashi sighed, seeming vaguely annoyed for some reason.

"Didn't you want to strengthen your arms, Sakura-chan?"

"Hmp!" She sniffed. "I thought I had made it clear before that I don't care for gorilla arms! But then again, that's exactly the moment in which you tricked me, isn't it?"

"I thought," Kakashi said snidely, "that you intended to put more effort into your training since nearly dying, Sakura-chan." He passed another page of his novel, but his eye hadn't been moving.

Sakura gulped.

Internally, there were war drums in her head.

"I don't want that to happen again." she grit out defensively. "Don't mock me, Sensei!"

Kakashi's visible eyebrow disappeared in his hairline.

"You are still wearing that dress."

 _The dress,_ Inner Sakura supplied, _thanks to which Zabuza smashed us against a fricking wall!_

Outward Sakura frowned.

"So you think I should wear something different."

"I don't know, you tell me, Sakura-chan."

Sakura crossed her arms.

"I don't think it's your place to be criticizing how I dress, Sensei,"she told him sharply. "I mean, Naruto's neon orange wardrobe should be first on your list!"

Kakashi didn't even indulge her with an answer.

Pressing her lips into a fine line, Sakura smashed three shuriken in his direction. One aimed at each eye and a masked one at his family jewels.

The last thing she heard before walking away was Kakashi's mirthful chuckle.

The freaky jerk.

 **TWISTED**

So… looks like we're moving onto the next arc. I've still written up to chapter Sixteen, so worry not, my dear readers, for more action is coming!

Do you think the chunin exams will be like in canon? Let me know!

PS. What do you think of the cover?


	9. New and Old! Rivalries Return!

Sakura refused to buy new clothes. She would not let her stupid, uncool teacher tell her what to wear. With a steely sort of determination, she kept slipping into her red dress every morning.

However, every passing morning it took more determination to do so, and every passing hour she was more convinced that this was not such a good idea. The dangling straps were unbecoming, she found as she flailed around, hanging from yet another tree. In a bout of frustration, Sakura shrugged off the qipao dress, which left her in a black cotton undershirt.

"See?" Kakashi quipped.

Sakura ignored his giggling to the best of her ability.

 **TWISTED**

She had never slipped into her clothes as quickly as she did upon landing on the ground. Finally, training was over.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked tentatively. "So why don't we – I mean – let's do something more _personal_ together – I mean, to improve our teamwork – you know?"

Sasuke-kun tilted his head back into her direction. It was impossible to know what he was thinking.

"I swear you're just as bad as Naruto." he said seriously. "Instead of flirting, why don't you practice your jutsu and make the team stronger?" With a condescending glance at the blonde, he added: "let's face it, you're actually worse than Naruto."

Sakura stared after the love of her life as he walked down the path, away from her.

 _Worse than Naruto._

The words kept echoing in her head. Sasuke-kun was right. What had she ever done so far in any of their missions? She'd nearly killed their teacher twice, thereby ruining the chances at freedom of a whole country, and thrown said country's last hope off the bridge he was supposed to build.

"Don't worry, Sakura-chan!" Naruto suddenly interrupted. "Just forget about Sasuke! You and me can develop our teamwork all day!"

 _Aaaasrgh!_ Inner Sakura yelled. That was so not it!

However, all and any such thoughts were wiped from her mind when Naruto's bratty little friends began assuming – well – _things_. It was surprising how easily her teammate managed to awaken the rage of Inner Sakura.

Never one to let down, she lunged for the kids rather forcefully, intent on giving them a piece of her mind. As expected, they fled. That's when the actual trouble started: the little kid who had been teasing her barreled into a tall, black-clad ninja who didn't look particularly friendly. The first thing he did was grab the brat and hoist him into the air by the neck.

 _Scratch unfriendly,_ Sakura thought. _He's a total psycho. Or a punk._

There was purple war paint all over his face, and a big, bulky something strapped to his back

The look he sent them was condescending, his declaration of disliking brats mildly worrying. Now, this was something Sakura only knew because she had made an effort to get along better with Naruto since Wave, but if she was correct, the stupid tease of a brat that was now slowly choking on his hold was the hokage's grandson, Konohamaru. It was actually a rather known fact amongst shinobi, but Sakura had never made the connection before.

This slightly psychotic punk was not from the village, she intrinsically realized. He probably didn't know that he was messing with the hokage's family. Naruto didn't seem to consider this either as he jumped in defense of Konohamaru, yelling loudly all the while.

 _Kaguya's sneer, don't!_

Sakura froze in fear as the punk, with a flick of his wrist, sent Naruto tumbling face first to the floor. But just as the tension increased to even thicker levels… a pebble came flying at the punk, leaving an angry mark on his hand. Scowling, he dropped Konohamaru.

Sakura chanced a glance at the source of the pebble and was delighted to find Sasuke-kun perched on a tree, his gaze assessing but unimpressed.

 _That's my Sasuke-kun!_ she inwardly cheered. _With just his presence, the whole atmosphere has changed! He's so **hot**! Kya!_

Even though Sakura didn't really care at that point, this only seemed to enrage the punk further. With an energetic twist of his shoulders, he reached for the creepy mummy-like form strapped to his back.

"You're gonna use Karasu for this?" a blonde girl commented from behind him. Sakura hadn't noticed her before. She looked more level-headed than her teammate – which, oddly enough, only made Sakura feel more threatened. The punk next to her had acted impulsively, emotionally, much like Naruto did, but the blonde… she looked completely indifferent. Her hair was styled into four jutting pigtails – spiky and searing, like her gaze – and the skin of her palms was unladylike and calloused.

"Kankuro. Shut up," a new voice chimed in.

 _More like rasped in,_ Sakura corrected. There was suddenly a guy hanging from the tree next to Sasuke-kun. He was hot, maybe Ino's type. Although long distance relationships were–

"Or I'll kill you."

Sakura froze.

 _What the freak?_

Only then did she notice the stiffness of Sasuke-kun's shoulders, and that in itself worried her a little.

 _So a bad boy, huh? With a poker-face humor like that, I'm sure he'd be a perfect fit for In–_

"Ga-Gaara…"

Again, Sakura stopped dead in her tracks.

The psychotic punk sounded utterly helpless now. How is that even possible? His voice quivered a little as he fumbled with an excuse, but the guy on the tree simply did not listen.

Could it be that he wasn't joking? Sakura surmised with shock.

Briefly, he apologized for the punk's behavior – though his voice remained impassive. What scared Sakura the most was his unwavering stare on Sasuke-kun. A shiver ran up her spine. She had been at the end of a stare like that only once before, though infinitely in the past month – in her nightmares of Zabuza Momochi. Or rather, in her memories of that fleeting moment when his sword had plummeted into the ocean and he'd stopped playing with her. It was the resolution to kill that burned in his eyes, and it was not something Sakura could ever forget.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had spoken:

"Hey! Hold it!" The blonde girl turned towards her a little, arching her eyebrow at her, a keen intelligence gleaming in her blue eyes. Sakura did her best to ignore the feeling of inferiority arising within her. She was smart too, dammit! "Honestly, I don't know why you are in the village," she began. "But believe me, choking the hokage's only grandson isn't exactly –" her eyes suddenly widened, processing the red hair, so much like the yondaime kazekage's, and then the family crest on the girl's dress…! "–what the kazekage's son should be doing, is it?"

Everyone was staring at her by that point. There was a heavy silence, until the girl spoke:

"We apologize for my brother's unsightly behavior." She fished out a permit. "The three of us are here for the impending Chuunin exams."

Cautiously, Sakura nodded. She had heard of Sand's ruthlessness before – but experiencing it firsthand was entirely different. The girl hadn't even bowed.

"Ha! That's what you get for hittin' me, _Baka_!" Konohamaru suddenly yelled. Sakura could have died in that moment. Before her outwardly calm self could do anything, Inner Sakura had already smacked him on the head.

"Are you stupid!" she whispered into his ear. "Do you want to start an international incident!?"

"Aaagh! Naruto-nii! Why's your girlfriend deranged!"

"What!?" Oh, no, Sasuke-kun would think that she was Naruto's girlfriend! "You stupid brat! I'm not his girlfriend!" she squeaked. Discretely, she glanced at Sasuke-kun, who was eyeing the red-headed boy, who was… looking at her. Sakura's playfulness was thrown out of the window. She gulped.

"Oi, you…" Sasuke drew his attention away. "Identify yourself."

The boy's gaze fortunately slid from her faze, unfortunately fixing on Sasuke's.

"Gaara." His tone was husky, his eye piercing. "Of the desert."

Sasuke smirked, it was terribly hot.

"I am Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke."

The two stared one another down.

"And I bet you're itching to know my name!" Naruto butted in.

Gaara's gaze strayed slightly to him – and kept straying, until it had landed on Sakura again.

"I could care less." he murmured. "Let's go." His teammates – siblings, actually, – jolted into action, moving right behind him. Uneasily, Sakura noticed the blonde's steely gaze on her. It hadn't moved since she had spoken.

 **TWISTED**

The very next day, Kakashi once again ruined Sakura's peaceful life of pursuing Sasuke-kun and ignoring the existence of A-ranks with one single sentence:

"I've nominated you for the Chuunin-exams."

Naruto proceeded to tackle-hug him rather intimately while Sasuke's lips curled into his hottest smirk. Sakura loved to admire those lips discretely – but right then… right then she was panicking a little.

"It's not mandatory," Kakashi added, his dark eye trained on her. "If you want to participate, show up at the allotted time at the auditory room, in the third floor of the Academy building."

"Sensei…" she whispered, slightly lost, though no one heard. No one was meant to, either, but when her teacher remained after her teammates had left, Sakura knew that he had. "Do you think we're ready?"

Kakashi remained silent, which was often an answer in itself when it came to him.

"Sasuke-kun… is ready…" Sakura appraised earnestly. "And Naruto… Naruto can pull through anything."

Her subsequent silence about herself also meant something, and Kakashi knew this. At least, Sakura hoped he did. He seemed happy enough reading Icha Icha.

Giving up, she turned around. She had her answer. But suddenly, Kakashi spoke:

"Sakura-chan, I don't think you're ready to pass." It was painful to hear, (can't he just leave it at a silence or something?) yet Sakura had to accept it for what it was– "But you are definitely ready to try." A gloved hand came down on her head, and instead of condescending, it was reassuring.

Sakura felt her heart swell with comfort.

As always though, her teacher was being cryptic.

 _Why should I try if I can't pass? Doesn't he know it's dangerous?_ Sakura mentally deadpanned, though she couldn't ignore the lifting of her shoulders and the grin pulling at her lips.

Alas, there was still something else weighing on her heart:

"The exam…" she ventured. "Does it have to be taken in teams of three?"

Kakashi whacked her on the head lightly with the spine of his book.

"So curious, little disciple. It doesn't have to be taken, I already said it."

Sakura sighed. He hadn't denied it.

"I understand."

 _That if I don't go, I'll be letting my team down._ Sakura wished she hadn't had the courage to ask, or that her Sensei hadn't heard her whisper. Before Wave, she certainly wouldn't have dared, but even this lazy, whimsical man was growing on her.

 _I'm such a sucker for his praise…_ Inner Sakura thought dejectedly. It was rather embarrassing.

Then, her thoughts drifted to the Chuunin-exams, – to the blonde girl of the sand, with her steely blue eyes – or the deadly ones of her brother, Gaara. And how the punk had thrown Naruto around with a mere flick of his wrist. Sakura hoped that the other applicants wouldn't be so strong… and of course, the thought of strength was immediately followed by the teasing, slightly superior grin of her rival in her mind's eye. No doubt Ino would throw herself all over poor Sasuke-kun! _Shanaro!_ She wouldn't let that happen. Over her dead body. _This is a trial of love!_ Sakura grit her knuckles and smirked.

 _This time for sure… I'll beat you, Ino._

 **TWISTED**

Yikes! There goes another chapter. How did you like the sand siblings? Are they in character? You might have noticed that I parafrased a very short part at the beginning of this. It might happen every now and then, but, like in here, I also make up a lot of dialogue on the fly, so don't think too much of it if something doesn't resemble cannon.

Regarding your speculations about the chunin exams… well, what can I say, you're in for a surprise! One reviewer in particular made a really accurate guess…

Anyways, I'll try to stop tempting you for a while. I got an appendoctomy last Sunday, and so it happens that some of my experiences in these past days have ended up reflected in my work. You'll see what I mean when you get to chapter seventeen. I've also just finished writing chapter twenty three, dereby putting an end to another arc, which I think has turned out to be the best yet. I'm dying to hear your opinion on it! ;)

Also, I am quite curious. This whole story is based on the premise that Sakura twists her ankle in the first encounter with the Demom Brothers, which in turn leads to a series of far-reaching changes.

Upon discussing this with a friend, she had some trouble understanding the extend of this butterfly-effect. What about you guys? I'm really curious to know. Maybe I should try to explain this a little more clearly. If you want me to, I could do so in the next author note. I was also toying with the idea of making a sort of glossary at the end, where I briefly go over a few terms and names, because my friend for instance, got lost pretty quickly. Tell me if you get confused as well.

Anyway! My best well wishes for the new year (I forgot to say so last time) and yada yada.

Cheers!


	10. Helicopter Parents

When Sakura opened the door of her house, her parents were both in the kitchen.

"Our little monkey!" Kizashi Haruno boomed, a certain spring to his step as he floated through the living room and twirled Sakura around.

"Dad!" She beamed back at him with pure joy.

Meanwhile, her mother, who had been cutting an eggplant into little remains of eggplant, had washed her hands to stroke Sakura's candyfloss hair.

"How have you been, Sakura?" she inquired serenely. Immediately, Inner Sakura was squished into a drawer.

"I've been well, Mom." Sakura smiled at her, though in her mind, she was seeing Zabuza.

"I'm sorry we had to leave on such short notice, dear."

Sakura nodded, waving it off. "Don't make more of it than it is, Mom. I've been fine."

Kizashi's booming laughter reverberated in the kitchen. "I can see that! Why the change of clothes? Did you start dating that kid… what was it again? Shagun?"

Sakura bristled.

"Sasuke-kun!" she emphasized irritably.

"Oh, so you are in a relationship with this boy?" Mebuki remarked.

"I am not," Sakura told her evenly. "But I will be."

Mebuki crossed her arms, while her husband took the onions from her.

"Leave her be," he said easily. "Our little monkey's been drooling at him for so–"

" _Dad_!"

"Ladies do not drool, Kizashi." Mebuki said. Kizashi pinched her in the nose affectionately.

"Tell that to my pillow, I have to wash it every day."

"Yeah right!" Sakura giggled. "You never do laundry!"

"For your own sake, Sakura, I hope that you have been doing it these past weeks," Mebuki added, turning around.

"I have been, Mom."

"Then why aren't you wearing my dress?"

Sakura scowled. "My jonin-instructor said that it was impractical. You know, because real ninja don't wear stuff that could potentially – and I quote – 'hinder their movements'."

She wasn't actually quoting him, but no one needed to know that.

Inner Sakura was on a spree, and so she kept haranguing on and on, Mebuki's brows lifting surreptitioisly with each passing word.

"That Hatake," she finally interrupted. "What does he think he is doing?" Sometimes, Sakura forgot that her mother was a ninja who knew other ninja. "I will not stand to our daughter going around in the likes of this!" She wildly gestured at Sakura's decidedly non-revealing top.

"Now, dear," Kizashi threw in placatingly placatingly – Sakura had almost forgotten he was there to begin with – "I'm sure he meant it for the best…"

 _What's the deal with this top?!_ Inner Sakura burst out. _It just exposes my shoulders and collarbone a little!_

"That Hatake is an indecent man." Mebuki sneered at the tabletop.

Kizashi sighed, glancing at Sakura with a resigned look.

"Dear…" he said slowly. "Was I imagining it when you exclaimed that you were so proud our daughter had been assigned to 'such a transcending Jounin'? "

"As a colleague I respect him." Mebuki acquiesced reluctantly. "On the whole, his personality leaves much to be desired."

"But…" Kizashi objected, a befuddled look on his face. "You behaved almost reverently when he came to visit."

Mebuki crossed her arms, sparing Sakura's top another glance.

"Lord hokage was there. And he hadn't told my daughter to go around the village like _that_.."

 **TWISTED**

Sakura was debating with herself. Should she say something about Wave? About the nightmares? They had receded in the past few days, and the genjutsu did a good job at hiding her pallor and eye bags, but…

One hand hand, Sakura really wanted to be consoled, but on the other, she really didn't want her mom to make a number out of it… she sighed, thinking about how Mebuki had insulted Kakashi-sensei, who had saved her life, and how she had been tempted to tell her just that, to her face. Again, Sakura squashed the urge, because that was Inner Sakura talking, and Sakura, as a rule, did not sass at Haruno Mebuki.

And so it came to be, that even though Sakura was dimly aware that she had been meaning to her parents everything about Wave and more, right now she wanted to everything but.

(Moreover, she would eventually have to breach the issue of the Chuunin exams, and Sakura was already dreading it.)

TWISTED

Unfortunately, her mother saved her the trouble the very next day:

"What's this I hear about you being nominated for the Chuunin-exams, Sakura?" she inquired during breakfast.

Kizashi dropped the newspaper.

"Kaguya's ears! That's my monkey!"

Before Inner Sakura could jump into his arms and yell out 'Heck yeah!', Outer Sakura hurried to take the reins: "Sensei's nominated me because he thinks I'm able, Mom."

 _Not able to do it, but at least enough to participate,_ she completed mentally, thinking back to the previous day. It was a nice feeling. Kakashi trusted her to face Ino – to face the world; to face her teammates at the doors of the exam, not to leave them hanging.

"Absolutely not."

Sakura turned back to her mother, a protest at the tip of her tongue. Kizashi seemed to feel similarly, and actually went ahead and vocalisced it:

"Aw, c'mon honey! Our little monkey can do it!"

"She cannot. That Hatake – what is he thinking?"

"Sensei said I can do it, Mom!" Sakura argued stubbornly.

After a moment of staring each other down, Mebuki sighed, stroking Sakura's cheek over the tabletop.

"The Chuunin-exams are not to be taken lightly, Sakura. Rookie genin shouldn't participate in them – your teacher himself is not a good example."

Sakura lowered her gaze dejectedly. Her throat had constricted an her viridian eyes were beginning to itch–

"This is her choice." Kizashi interrupted supportively.

"It is not! She is barely a child still–!"

"She is a shinobi! You took those exams too, Mebuki!"

"When I was ready!" Mebuki shouted. "She might die, Kizashi!"

Sakura wished that the earth would swallow her in that moment.

 _Dead…_

Kizashi reined himself in.

"If this Hatake man says she can give it a try… even at the Academy, our Sakura was top kunoichi of her class…" he glanced at Sakura proudly. "Our daughter is fully capable."

"You are not the expert in the job," Mebuki cut in unrelentingly, barely even sparing her wide-eyed daughter a glance. Sakura just sat there, listening to her parents argue for the first time… since she'd joined the Academy, since she could barely even remember. Her viridian eyes latched onto Kizashi's white-knuckled fist, which he had clenched so hard that the nails now digging into his flesh left clear marks.

"If we don't believe in her, then who will?" Kizashi was saying. "Sakura's shy enough as it is!"

 _Hey… that was ages ago…_ Sakura thought defensively. _But maybe this will convince mom, just like last time…?_

"I said no."

Sakura felt tears threatening to swell.

 _Mom really thinks I'm useless, doesn't she? Maybe that's because I am._

Jerkily, Sakura stood up from the breakfast table, hoping to get away.

"I'll see you at lunch, Mom, Dad!" She waved in her best impression of cheeriness and was out of the door in a flash.

 **TWISTED**

 _It_ happened two hours later, in the middle of a D-rank. Naruto was pulling out the tulips again, and Sasuke was sorting through the fertilizer baskets. Sakura was dangling on a rope – _again_ – because Sensei was just that evil.

"Hatake-san?" She was shaken out of her reverie by the firm voice of…

 _No way. Why is she here?!_

…Haruno Mebuki. "May I have a word?" she told Kakashi Sensei, though it sounded more like a command.

Sakura paled.

 _Please just brace her off… please don't let Sasuke-kun and Naruto see her… please just go away…_

"Why not?" Kakashi hummed, not making a move to look for a private spot. He was actually still reading Icha Icha.

Sakura would have surely fallen off the tree if she hadn't been dangling off it.

"Who's that lady?" Naruto inquired loudly, frowning exaggeratedly. "She looks real grumpy! Believe it!"

"Hn…" Even Sasuke was looking at her with thinly veiled interest.

Again, had Sakura's hands not been tied to a tree, she would have used them to facepalm multiple times. As it was, Inner Sakura did.

"I don't think my daughter is ready for the Chuunin-exam…" Mebuki's voice carried over faintly, but it was still audible, for everyone had gone quiet. "I don't care what you told her, Hatake, she is _not_ ready!"

Kakashi continued reading.

"I nominated her."

"As though that alone should be of consequence! I refuse!"

Ever so slowly, Kakashi's single, black eye rose from the pages of the pornographic novel.

"That isn't your decision to make, Sakura's mother."

"She's your _Mom_?!" Naruto yelled loudly.

As predicted, Sakura's worst fears had become real. Scared, she checked the look on Sasuke's face.

 _Why meeeee?_ she complained innerly.

Sasuke's glare was positively smoldering.

Sakura hunched onwards and did her best to tune her teammates out.

Down bellow, Mebuki had balled her fists, her gaze fiercer than anything Sakura had ever seen.

"Hatake. _She is not ready!_ "

Kakashi's brow arched as though in contemplation of an answer, and suddenly Sakura didn't know what she was more afraid of: that he said that she was, or that he said that she wasn't.

"If you insist so fervently, Sakura's mother, why don't you spar with her?"

He returned his attention to Icha Icha.

And of course, all of it turned to a dangling-on-a-rope-Sakura.

"Did you hear your teacher, Sakura?" Mebuki jeered satirically. "He is absolutely mad and violent. He wants us to fight each other! Well I'm not fighting my daughter, Hatake!."

Sakura gulped. With a sharp pull, she loosened the rope clinging to her and dropped onto the floor. Belatedly, she wished that her flip had looked at least half gracious, but by the unimpressed look her mother was giving her she understood that a little somersault wouldn't win her over.

"Mom… " she pleaded quietly. "This is something that I need to do. Please understand."

"What I understand is that your teammates are pressuring you to enter!" Mebuki exclaimed, apparently headless of who heard. "Hatake only told you that you can do it because he doesn't want the other two to miss out!"

 _Ouch, that hurt._

Behind her, Sakura could hear Naruto and even Sasuke-kun gasp in surprise. It hadn't been like that! It hadn't! Kakashi had given her plenty of opportunities to back out, but now that the cat was out of the bag, there were no excuses left anymore. Sakura could feel Sasuke-kun glaring at Kakashi-sensei, Naruto at her mom.

 _Be strong… for Sasuke-kun!_ Inner yelled.

 _…and for Naruto-baka…_ Sakura added faintly.

 _I have to be strong… just one more time…_

"Mom…" she muttered nervously. "I'll spar with you, if that's alright."

Mebuki stared at her, looking to be mightily taken aback. After a moment's indignant sputtering, she gathered her wits and nodded indecisively.

"This afternoon. Training ground 7?" Kakashi suggested idly.

"Very well," Mebuki acquiesced. "I'll see you then, Sakura."

"But what about – lunch…" Sakura trailed off. Kakashi gave her a sympathetic glance, then chuckled.

 _He finds this amusing, the bastard!_ Inner growled. _Now I have to face **Mom**! It's all his fault!_

But there was no going back now, and so Sakura waited for the inevitable to happen.

 **TWISTED**

Hi there! How'd you like this chap? I've read some crytiques stating that it doesn't live up to the others and stuff… honestly, that makes me feel kind of like shit, so I've gone ahead and revised it.

Though, realistically, I do kind of get where you are coming from. I mean, most of the chapter centres around Sakura eating breakfast with her parents.

She doesn't learn anything, fight anyone, behaves kind of meekly, there's _no_ humor, and most shockingly, no inner Sakura sass!

Touché. You guys have a point.

However, you'll need to bear with me for this.

Emotional development is also a really, _really_ important part of growing up, and I feel like a lot of fanfictions don't do this aspect of it any justice… (besides, you know, the whole tragedy department).

If you think about it rationally, Sakura is _twelve_ here folks. _Twelve_. She is still barely a child, a preteen. F you go with the argument 'in the eyes of the law, she's already an emancipated kunoichi and ninja grow up faster and blah, blah, blah, Sakura could be called a teen at best. And like any other teen, (yes, we've all been there) she makes big efforts not to show her most vulnerable, private side, which only her parents know, to her teammates which she wants to impress. Sakura's beginning to throw her own little brand of tauntrums, rebelling against the "authority figures of her life". (Those are meant to be her parents.) Bit it's gonna be a gradual process, like how she's starting to cuss more.

Okay, there. Delivered.

Honestly, I feel kind of like an old goat as I'm writing this note, but yeah, that was more or less my thought process with this chap.

And also, I kind of shouldn't tell you this, but there's like a batshit ton of foreshadowing going on in here, you just have no clue _what_! ;)

Anyways, as soon as you remove her parents out of the ecuation (note that I'm not talking about massacring them, just keeping them put at home) Inner Sakura will be back, as will the action!

Have a nice week!


	11. Humilliation

Training ground 7 had never seemed as ominous as in that moment, Sasuke-kun's dark gaze never as judging and Kakashi's porn never as mocking.

Mebuki Haruno had never been a ninja in Sakura's eyes, she'd just been Mom, strict but caring; Mom.

Mebuki was facing her calmly, the expectation of victory written cleanly over her face, her stance at ease.

Sakura, by contrast, was subtly trembling.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sakura?" Mebuki asked earnestly, her blue-green eyes boring into those of her daughter.

Sakura nodded, feeling as though her anxiety was exposed for everyone to see.

 _We're ninja!_ cried Inner. _It's about time Mom realices that!_

"We're ready," Sakura voiced.

"Oh, are we?" queried Mebuki.

"Yes!" And Sakura charged.

Mebuki, her body arranged sideways into a combat stance, prepared for the assault. "Please, you're not even going full throttle, Sakura. I don't suppose you intend to pass the exams like that?"

 _Shut. Up!_ Inner yelled, as her approach fastened. Sakura crossed the field in four strides, reaching her mother in a matter of seconds when–

Mebuki sidestepped her and stuck her foot out.

Sakura, who was now going too fast for her own good, fell face-first into the ground, little pebbles pressing against her cheeks and scraping her hips.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled from the sidelines. "You can do it, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura, who now felt ridiculed, got up and charged anew with everything she had.

 _She… she riled me up on purpose!_ Inner mentally cried, feeling like she'd been back-stabbed.

Once again, Mebuki went for evasion, though this time Sakura was prepared for it, countering by punching, which was dodged– once, twice, three times– here Sakura went for a kick… but Mebuki dove diagonally forwards and caught the limb between her arms, stepping ahead just so that she could throw Sakura–

 _…and we're kissing the dirt,_ Inner grit out. _Again_.

"SA-KURA!" Someone constantly cheered. "SA-KURA! SA-KURA!"

"Naruto!" she spat furiously. "Stop making so much noise! It's distracting me! If I'm losing, then it's your fault!"

"But Sakura-chan…"

She balled her fists angrily. "Shut up!"

This time, Sakura drew a kunai.

"You're pointing that at me…" Mebuki breathed. But then her expression turned resolute. "But being a ninja involves knowing how to make use of your weapons!" And this time it was her who initiated the attack. Before Sakura knew what happened, the kunai had been knocked out of her hands with brutal force, and before she could attempt to counter, Mebuki had already put a significant distance between them.

"Your stance is wobbly, Sakura!" came her condemnation. "You look like a gust of wind could blow you away!"

Sakura grit her teeth, taking out another kunai.

"He who first strikes wins!" she quoted, trying not to look like a loser. Sakura swiped with her kunai towards her mother, who moved only minimally to dodge.

"Was that supposed to touch me?" Mebuki jeered. "Sakura, dear, I advice not to use a weapon you're afraid of!"

Sakura grit her teeth, throwing a punch.

 _I don't want to hurt Mom after all!_ she thought. _I should stick to hand-on-hand combat!_

But what she hadn't known was that Mebuki was leaps and bounds ahead of her in taijutsu. After more than five minutes of intense fighting, with Sakura ending positively winded and failing even at the attempt not to pant, Mebuki didn't seem to have broken a sweat.

Her hair was in fact the only thing out of place… it created a strange picture. Sakura was used to always seeing it perfectly coiffed and tamed, whereas now, Mebuki's blonde tresses fanned around her face like a halo, free of its shackling hair-tie, Mebuki' eyes shining brightly.

 _Is she actually enjoying this?_ Sakura mentally wondered.

 _She had better not!_ Inner complained. _I don't know where the fun in bulling us lies!_

And so, Sakura once again threw herself at her mother with renewed vigor to prove that she wasn't being bullied, because Sasuke-kun's judging gaze, and Kakashi's measuring eye, and even Naruto's overly-forced cheers, were really putting her on edge.

But one thing was clear: it didn't matter what Sakura tried, Mebuki only seemed to grow stronger with each passing second, continuously pointing out embarrassing flaws such as: "You're wide open!" "Did anyone teach you how to hold a kunai?" "You think your opponent will be impressed by your meekness?" and the list went on.

Moreover, what had startled Sakura the most was that she'd never known her mother to be so good at taijutsu. She wasn't even out of breath!

 _Why hasn't she ever taught me anything?_ Sakura wondered incessantly. _She only ever encouraged me to practice chakra-control, but she's not even using that skill now!_

Gritting her teeth, Sakura decided that if her mother wouldn't use ninjutsu (supposedly her forte) then she would.

Forming the appropriate hand-signs, she cried: "Henge!"

"Is that a transformation jutsu?" Mebuki queried. "Whatever for? I can tell you're still my opponent you know…"

Sakura narrowed her eyes. Maybe transforming into Kakashi hadn't been such a great idea. She'd thought that the extra height and imposing presence would give her more of an edge, but her coordination had only got worse, and besides, how did Kakashi not get hit in the face using only one eye?

Sakura tried the bunshin next, managing a whooping six clones, which doubled the requirements for passing at the Academy.

But Mebuki kept up. With all of them.

"Those aren't even shadow clones, Sakura!" she commented. "You're just wasting time and energy. I can tell which one is you just by the concentrated look on your face!"

Sakura stiffened.

"See?" Mebuki went on. "You just proved my point. Creating only one illusion would've been more effective. This way, you're too focused on making everything move the way you want to. You can't even think of throwing a punch!" And then she proceeded to throw Sakura over her hip and into the dirt.

"Kawarimi!" Sakura yelled, just in time replacing herself with a rock behind a tree, hoping to hide long enough to be able to arm a trap.

"A rock?" Mebuki asked. "I'm pretty sure I saw the exact same one right there…" She chuckled. "You know, dear, it's not a coincidence that everyone uses Kawarimi on nondescript objects such as logs…" And then her face appeared only inches from Sakura's, peeking at her from one side of the trunk.

"Agh!" Sakura yelped, struggling to get away in time into the opposite direction.

But Mebuki, using a stray log from the other side of the tree, made her trip and fall into the dirt anew. "See? Logs are better than rocks."

Sakura frowned grimly, getting up with difficulty.

 _I don't want to know what my knees must look like by now…_ she thought tiredly.

"Kawarimi!" Sakura yelled again, making sure to look for a better hiding place this time.

Now if I can only finish that trap…

"The same trick again?" asked Mebuki. "I'm guessing you're preparing a little surprise for me?" She chuckled. "Sakura-chan, traps aren't supposed to be obvious." And then, turning towards Kakashi: "I don't know what you taught her, Hatake, but keep in mind, Sakura, that there is always more beauty in the simple things!"

Sakura, getting tired of all the demeaning insults, made to get out of her hiding place behind a bunch of thorn bushes so she could at least do something to prove that she wasn't completely useless.

 _I'll show her!_ she thought. _I won't let you make Sensei hate me!!_

But once again, she only managed to sputter incoherently, her face this time buried in the thorns she'd been hiding behind.

 _What… what happened?_ Sakura thought weakly, at some point realizing that she was crying.

 **TWISTED**

After a minute of stifling her sobs as she lay there, surrounded by thorns, a strong pair of hands grabbed onto Sakura's shoulders, and ever so slowly heaved her out of the biting thorns so as to not hurt her more. Between tears, Sakura glimpsed Mebuki holding her.

"Let's call it a day, ne?" her mother offered.

Sakura glanced at her feet, seeing a thin wire that spanned between two tree stems.

 _I tripped over_ that _. Why didn't I see it?_ she thought defeatedly. It's the most basic trap…

But still…

"How did you know that I'd hide here?" Sakura miserably asked.

"I didn't," Mebuki explained. "But I had a clone quickly place small traps around possible hiding spots whenever you weren't looking."

Sakura's jaw dropped. Mebuki had her beat in every possible way. From the application of similar techniques in far more creative ways, to Sakura's supposed specialization in traps, to showing her that the one skill she'd harnessed so much, the ever so complex practice of chakra control, would be useless in the face of simplicity. And her mom had never even thrown a punch.

Sakura lowered her head, not wanting to look Kakashi, Sasuke, or even Naruto in the eye. She couldn't.

"Sakura…" Mebuki called, brushing a pink hair-strand off her sweat-coated forehead.

"Don't act like you suddenly care!!!" Sakura burst out.

"Dear, please–"

"DON'T!" her pride roared. "GO AWAY!"

This time, Sakura was met by silence and two blue sandals moving into the distance. She lowered her gaze, not knowing what to do nor what she wanted. Sakura just felt so disappointed at herself, furious beyond reason, both at her mother and at her teammates, ridiculed and lonely all at the same time.

She sat down, tired and weary, her bottom on the dirt.

 _At least this is better than kissing it,_ Inner jeered. Sakura balled her fists and tried not to cry.

 **TWISTED**

Lying on the floor with her teammates hovering over her, Sakura felt ridiculed. Sasuke-kun, and even Naruto, would have done better.

"Sakura-chan! Do you want to get some ramen?" Naruto prodded tentatively.

On the ground, Sakura shook her head.

What hurt her the most was that none of them looked really surprised. Well, it would've been strange if Kakashi or Sasuke-kun had dropped dead out of shock, and Naruto had certainly been supporting, but…

 **TWISTED**

When people are dejected, they tend to view neutral behavior as disparaging, or a glass as half empty. Sakura knew this, but, like one knows in winter that it isn't always cold outside, (yet has trouble believing it), Sakura now had trouble believing in herself.

Kakashi grunted "Your previous teacher… what's his name–?"

"You mean Iruka-sensei?!" Naruto shouted.

"Yeah, him." Kakashi crossed his arms. "He also told me that you aren't ready."

Naruto gawked. "No way! He'd never, ever betray me!"

Kakashi ignored him, for once not by looking at his book. "The nominations can still be revoked, you know? I think I might."

It was her fault.

Sakura saw both her teammates not-so-subtly look at her, and she felt her heart drop to her stomach.

"We'll convince you!" Naruto bellowed regardless. "Throw anything you want at me, I don't care! I'll even fight Sakura-chan's Mom if I have to!"

Sakura's hand involuntary rose as though to stop him, but then it fell back limply onto her lap.

 _A chain is as strong as its weakest link,_ she remembered scornfully.

"Hm." Kakashi looked up from his book briefly. "You've convinced me."

"REALLY? Yeah! Kakashi-sensei, you're the best! Believe it!"

"I didn't finish yet." Kakashi punctuated.

"Huh?"

"You've convinced me – to give you one last chance."

"What is this?" Sasuke grunted. "The bell test again?"

"Now, now, you two, don't be like that." Kakasahi chastised blithely. "After all, you passed the bell test by…" he paused for added affect, "getting stuck in a hole and falling for all my traps."

"WHAT!" Naruto yelled in outrage, while Sasuke clenched his fists.

"Just tell me what I have to do, Kakashi," he challenged darkly.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

Subtly, Kakashi's eye darted to Sakura for a fraction of a second.

"Please tell us, Sensei," the third member of team seven added.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head, then grinned.

"Training exercise. You have until the exams to complete it."

"This is gonna be _easy_! Believe it!"

"Hn."

 _Am I the only scared one?_ Sakura thought, worrying her lip.

 _Kyaaa! This is so stupid!_

"Might as well start now," Sasuke added confidently.

"So what do we have to do, Sensei?" Sakura inquired anxiously.

Kakashi sighed and pocketed his book. Seeing this, Naruto jumped excitedly.

"Are you gonna teach us a new jutsu? Huh? Huh?"

Kakashi scratched his head. "Slow down…"

"I wanna learn a new jutsu! Believe it!"

"Dobe, shut up. He was going to explain the exercise."

"Yes, Naruto!" Sakura added. "Listen to Sasuke-kun for once!" It went ignored.

"Hmp! I don't follow orders from you, teme!"

Thinking on it again, Sakura was almost wishing that they kept bantering until Kakashi called the whole thing off, alas, for once in their life, her teammates shut up after a few minutes.

"Each of you will have a roll in this," Kakashi explained in a drawl once he was satisfied with their silence. "And there will be rules."

Sakura nodded along eagerly. Rules were her thing.

 _If this is about memorizing, then I can beat Naruto-baka in-front of Sasuke-kun! Kaguya, that twit doesn't know squat about following rules!_

"Sakura," Kakashi said while handing her a piece of chalk. "Draw a circle of a 4 meter radius, will you?"

Giddily, Sakura complied. Her penmanship skills had always been perfect, and she had been able to take measurements with up to centtimeric precision back in the Academy. When she was done with the circle, she glanced back at Sasuke to gauge his reaction, but he was too busy scowling at Naruto, who was going on about blackboard erasers.

"Good," Kakashi commented when she was done, once again pocketing the piece of chalk. "Rule number one: Naruto can't go within the circle." Naruto scowled while Sakura grinned ( _does that mean I'll get to be together with Sasuke-kun?_ ) and Sasuke smirked, "–and Sakura can't leave the circle." This time Naruto pouted, Sakura was confused about Sasuke's whereabouts, and Sasuke kept smirking, no doubt thinking that he didn't have to do the test.

"Rule number two:" – now Kakashi fixed him with his gaze – "Sasuke will wear a blindfold at all times."

Eyes wide, Sasuke stared at Kakashi as though he were crazy (as much as his usual stoicism allowed, anyway). Sensing an opportunity to connect as kindred spirits, Sakura butted in: "but Sensei, that's dangerous! Besides, Sasuke-kun's greatest weapon is his sight–"

"You're right, Sakura-chan," Kakashi quipped. "That's why he needs to learn to fight without it."

 _Again with the impossible feats_ , Inner Sakura grumbled. Surprisingly enough, Sasuke didn't complain after that.

"Next rule: you will only use shuriken for this."

Sakura pouted, making sure that the genjutsu on her arms was still in place.

"Well okay!" Naruto shouted. "Just tell us already what we have to do!"

Kakashi took out a surprisingly familiar alarm clock and set it to beep every ten seconds.

"Sakura, Sasuke, get inside the circle."

Naruto pouted, while Sakura giddily walked next to the dark-haired Uchiha.

"Naruto," Kakashi drawled, making him snap to attention. "Make a clone."

Naruto complied easily. "What for, Sensei?" the two Narutos asked suspiciously. "Are you trying to teach the teme my Kage Bunshin no jutsu?"

"Don't sound so jealous, dobe," Sasuke muttered.

Sakura blushed at how close they were.

 _Get it together Haruno!_ Inner exclaimed. _We won't be able to protect him in the exams if we keep blushing every time we get close! This is part of our trial!_

With this in mind, Sakura averted her gaze from him and did her best to not look back. This simple practice took so much out of her, that before she even knew it, the explaining had already been done. Somewhat panicked, Sakura glanced around. Kakashi was gone, Sasuke was standing in the center of the circle, all concentrated and with a blindfold, and Naruto was standing outside of it, looking like he for once knew what to do. The clock was still beeping.

"Get into position, Sakura-chan!"

Somewhat startled and panicked, Sakura ran next to Sasuke, because that was the position she wanted to have in his life–

 _Stop_! Inner admonished. _We can't think of–_

Suddenly there was a shuriken flying at them, at Sasuke-kun, and Sakura was so scared that she pushed him out of the way rather roughly.

 _Did I just put my hands on his chest?_ She was blushing again, she knew it. Wait… more importantly:

"Naruto-norama! What do you think you're doing!?" she yelled.

"B-but Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei said that I have to aim at the teme! I'm sorry!"

"Well, you better be!"

 _Aim at Sasuke-kun? Why? He can't see!_

"Sakura. Next time, deflect that or tell me so I can dodge," Sasuke instructed in his deep, velvety, hot voice.

Sakura nodded numbly, too red to even articulate words.

(Of course, the gesture was lost on him.)

Had he somehow sensed that she hadn't been paying attention?

This was something Sakura would never truly know, but Sasuke's sort-of-explanation had at least helped her to understand what to do. Had he consciously helped her out? Or was it a coincidence?

Be that as it may, Sakura ended up figuring out the true purpose of the exercise the painful way: Naruto's job was to throw a shuriken at Sasuke every time the clock beeped, and Sakura's job was to make sure that he didn't get hit by it, either by deflecting it or dodging. Arguably the most difficult one, Sasuke's task was to make it out of the circle while still avoiding the projectiles.

It was hard.

Sakura found that aiming for moving, very small targets, (like shuriken), was very, very difficult. Specially if you had to use a shuriken yourself. (And Naruto put so much force into each thrust, it was horrible!) Whenever she didn't manage to repel the stupid shuriken, which was pretty often, Sakura yelled at Sasuke so he could dodge, – which he did, ever so skillfully. Sakura herself was particularly proud of her approach, which consisted of yelling clock numbers to replace directions. But even then, it cost them all their energy just to stay rooted to the middle of the circle without getting a shuriken to the eye – because Naruto's aim sucked at the worst times possible, and because Sakura's aim sucked at all times.

They spent the remainder of the evening like that, until nighttime.

"We need to stop." Sakura said. "It's too dark to carry on."

The boys didn't want to, (unlike Sakura, who had been itching for a shower after the first ten minutes) but finally they saw reason and left her alone. Sakura practically fled the training ground and dropped all the genjutsu on her at once. Shakily, she removed Sasuke-kun's arm warmers, which felt like a ton of bricks weighing on her, and let herself breathe in the disgusting smell of her sweat. She was glad she wasn't wearing her dress – it would have been horrible to wash.

 **TWISTED**

Ah, yeah. Sakura's parents. I think these two guys have been the most controversial issue in reviews so far. A lot of you are like: why are they ninja???? I wanted Sakura's parents to be NORMAL!!!

…okay, yeah. I totally get what you mean. I'm not joking or anything. As a matter of fact, I was really torn on what to do with them. The whole idea of Sakura getting to the top without a clan or a sanin godfather or whatever to take the credit (somehow) was very appealing to me. But then I decided to go with canon and make at least one of her folks a ninja. (Reasons for this will be covered in feauture chapters.)

But then there's another faction of you who are like: Yeah, fine, Sakura's Mom is a ninja. Then why on earth doesn't she teach her something, HUH????

Okay, again, you have a point. But you know, guys, you could ask Kishimoto that too. I checked on the internet before making my decision, and get this: canon Mebuki actually fought in the fourth war! There's also a really complicated reason for Mebuki being a ninja in Twisted that will make everything make sense (does this sentence even make sense? XD), but it'll be a while till you get to the big reveal.

If any of you have any theories on Twisted you'd like to beseech me with, you're very welcome to! ;) I on my part LOVE when reviewers rant. Didn't see that one coming, huh?


	12. Let the Exams Begin

Three days later, team seven completed Kakashi's exercise. It was immensely more satisfying than any test-score Sakura had ever got.

"Hm… not too shabby…" said Kakashi. "But still slow. Move on to the next stage."

"Eeeeeh?!" Naruto crowed. "That's cheating, Kakashi-sensei! You never said there was another phase!"

Kakashi took the alarm clock and reduced the time between beeps to nine seconds.

"Make another clone, Naruto," was his reply.

 _Ever so gracious, the jerk._

And so the torture started again.

 **TWISTED**

After a few more horrible days of intense training, team seven had completed phase three out of ten and no more. Sakura was ashamed of herself. This wasn't working because of her.

But it was just so hard to tell Sasuke-kun where to go while simultaneously aiming shuriken at other moving shuriken and choosing which ones to deflect and which ones to yell to Sasuke about, and, and, and–

And now, one day before the exam, they had shown Kakashi what they could do. It was up to him whether they participated or not.

With baited breath, Sakura, like the rest of team seven, waited for Sensei's judging graze.

"What?" their teacher asked, looking up from his pornography. "Do I have something on my face?"

 _How are we supposed to know, dummy!_ Inner Sakura exploded. _You're always hiding your hotness!_

Back in reality, Naruto had taken the conversation into his own reliable hands:

"So can we take the exam or not?" he bluntly demanded, as relied on right to the point.

Sasuke gave a supportive grunt for added effect.

"Kakashi," he addressed bluntly. "You said you might be revoking our applications to the exams based on our performance."

"Why?" Kakashi inquired innocently, waving Icha Icha around. "Did I ever?"

 _Nope,_ Inner Sakura muttered incredulously. _You didn't… just… SAY THAT!_ (She was beyond demolishing anything she could get her hands on right then.)

"Eeeeegh?! You mean all this time we've been training for _nothing_?!" Naruto shouted, the most vocal in his mortification.

Kakashi answered by hightailing it out of there with a puff.

For a moment, no one moved.

"Hn." Sasuke was the first to speak, checking the height of the sun cooly. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Sakura, dobe."

"Hey!"

Sakura was too busy blushing to answer, so she settled for waving.

"I'll be seeing you blah blah _blah_. He sounds like an old man sometimes, that teme!" Naruto declared hotly.

 _No, it's just your utter lack of cultivated speech._ Inner Sakura snapped defensively. Oblivious to her thoughts, Naruto turned towards her as per usual. "Do you wanna do something together, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura was about to say no, but then she remembered what was waiting at home for her and changed her mind.

"Fine, but this is not a date, got it?"

"…well okay, see you tom… – Sakura-chan???"

 _Ugh. I'm already regretting this._

"Are you deaf or what, Naruto?"

"N-no…" Naruto was blushing and grinning stupidly. "So what do you wanna do?"

"I told you, this is not a date!"

"Yeah, that's why I'm asking you!"

"The guy always asks the girl what she wants to do on a date!"

"I'm sorry!"

"This isn't a date!"

"Okay!"

"Okay!"

There was a moment of silence. Sakura couldn't help it, she giggled a little.

 _He's such a moron!_

Naruto snickered right back.

"Let's get ramen!" he suggested.

And… he dropped the bomb. _Baka._

"Absolutely not." Sakura crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Then what do we do?" Naruto inquired, seeming to indeed be a tad lost.

Sakura drew an exaggerated breath, even though she didn't know any better either. "I don't know!" she burst out. "Is there anything you can do at all besides inhaling ramen, Naruto?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Pranks."

Sakura sweatdropped.

 _So uncool…_

But then her more practical side won over and she decided to be a little vindictive. Just this once.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to do a warm-up round against Ino-pig…" she schemed, rubbing her hands together.

"But I stopped pulling pranks when I graduated!" Naruto told her defensively.

Sakura leveled him with a deadpan stare.

"Uh… or not… hehe?"

 _Now that's more like it._

"Say, Naruto…" Sakura asked, the mischievous dare-devil in her now awake and kicking. "Do you still happen to own that thing you once put into Iruka-sensei's hair?"

 **TWISTED**

Sakura returned home late, but with a toothy smile on her face. She figured that her parents were already asleep, so she made quick work of a bowl of rice, and then set to thoroughly clean off the grime on her hands.

"How was practice?"

With a start, Sakura whirled around. "Mom!" she squeaked.

Mebuki was crouching right there, perched over the kitchen chair. "You're jumpy," she stated.

Sakura scrubbed at her nails in the sink. "Sorry."

The kitchen was drenched in silence momentarily.

"I've heard about your mission." Mebuki broke it.

What mis—

Suddenly, Sakura knew exactly what mission. She chose not to answer.

Mebuki slammed her palms onto the table. "Sakura! Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's classifie–"

"Don't give me that, Sakura! All my colleagues knew about it!"

"Calm down, dear!" Kizashi, who had suddenly appeared through the kitchen door, tried to place a calming hand on her shoulder, but Mebuki swatted it off, completely focused on her daughter.

Sakura felt a lump form in her throat.

"You won't be participating in the exams," she stated, still breathing heavily. "I'm not having a kunoichi for a daughter. Least of all one on the assault squad under Hatake."

At this, something in Sakura snapped. She uncrossed her arms furiously.

"See, this is why I didn't say anything!" she yelled. Inner had taken over again. "I'm sick of you deciding over my life! I want to be a kunoichi! I want to be a kunoichi that my teammates respect!" she thought of Sasuke-kun's criticism earlier that week. "Right now I'm useless, and it's all your fault!"

Mebuki stood up, towering over her. "Repeat that again!"

"I said that it's your fault!" Sakura hadn't noticed when or how, but she was now standing in front of her mother, fists balled and a snarl on her lips. "You've always made me stay at home and do stupid chores while everyone else my age was running outside, getting tanned and learning how to make friends! You're a horrible mother!"

Slap.

"That's it! Go to your room!"

Sakura's attention was half-split on her left cheek, which throbbed with a white sort of pain.

"No!"

"Go to your room!"

"No!" she snarled at Kizashi. "Dad, she's – she's _fucking_ crazy!"

This time the slap came down on her other cheek.

"Language!"

Sakura balled her fists and shouted in outrage.

"I hate you! Both of you! I'm taking the exams!"

"Sakura," Kizashi exclaimed. "Apologize to your mother!"

"I'm legally an adult! I'm a kunoichi of the leaf! I'm taking these exams whether you like it or not!"

Sakura bolted.

 **TWISTED**

Team Seven reunited outside of the Academy building roughly eight hours later.

It was morning again.

Sakura had snuck out early in the morning and bought herself something edible in a nearby stall.

If she was being honest, she felt terrible. As though the exams themselves weren't terrifying enough, her fallout with her parents had been a serious blow to her morale. It was one thing to make wild proclamations and another thing to sign up to a life or dead exam with no hopes of passing.

Sakura tried not to bite her nails as she attempted to recall Kakashi's instructions. Meanwhile, Naruto was a ways off, trying to peer past the crowd around the entrance of the building, and Sasuke for once was scrutinizing her in a way that made Sakura uncomfortable. She had eye bags, bitten nails and felt terrible. Did Sasuke-kun have to choose today to finally look at her?

"Let's see… I think Sensei said the exam was being held at the conference room…" Sakura muttered, trying to break the silence. "That's room number 301, right, Sasuke-kun…?" She trailed off. Sasuke seemed eerily intense, definitely not in the mood for small talk.

Fortunately, Naruto came back soon.

"Let's go," Sasuke suggested cooly. Sakura and Naruto nodded.

 _He's nervous too,_ she realized. It was just a gut feeling, but it seemed like a certainty to her. _Sasuke-kun's nervous. Just like we all are._

"Oi, teme, the door is _that_ way!" Naruto butted in smugly.

Sakura, who had been confused up untill then, turned towards Naruto. Normally she would've explained their change of route with something like: 'Baka Naruto! We're taking a shortcut!' but she stayed silent, quietly following Sasuke up the stairs.

 **TWISTED**

The trip upwards seemed much too short. Had she really been so spaced out? Sakura couldn't go back now. She _couldn't_. They had arrived.

…or not.

"Sasuke-kun…" she stuttered. "It's still nine o'clock."

"What are you talking about, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked loudly. "It's almost ten!"

Sasuke ignored them both and stopped to take in the scene unfolding before them. Two boys were blocking the door with the sign '301', while another team tried to get in. They had bruises on them, and when Sakura looked more closely, she saw a poor girl get cuffed across the face, a small crowd quickly parting as she plummeted right into the paved tiles.

 _This is bad…_ Sakura glanced at the abusers.

"We're doing you kids a favor," a red-nosed boy condescended from his perch on the doorframe.

"Yeah, just weeding out the weaker sort," his friend agreed with a shrug.

"You guys don't stand a chance at the exam."

 _We… don't?_

Sakura's reservations were put on hold as Sasuke promptly marched in front of the duo, his demeanor much… calmer than it had been before. _Amazing!_ Inner cooed. Her Sasuke-kun, ever cool and collected, had just gone and strolled up to the big boys, calmly suggesting for them to "let me through and drop the illusion while you're at it."

 _How? How can he be so brave?_ Sakura stared at Sasuke desperately, her knees feeling shaky. _I'm not brave like him… I can't… what if Sensei only encouraged me to sign up because of–_

"Right, Sakura?"

"Huh?" Confused, she snapped to attention. Sasuke had just asked her something.

"Your sensory and genjutsu abilities have improved the most out of the three of us," he explained calmly. "You were the first to notice."

Sasuke-kun… Sakura thought tenderly, now in the loop. Yes, she had noticed the genjutsu on the door back when they were still in the staircase… In a hurried attempt to relay her thoughts, she had told Sasuke that 'it's still nine o'clock', referring to the positioning of room 301, where nine was the direction of the next flight of stairs, meaning that they had yet to arrive, …but judging by the lack of reaction, Sakura had been under the impression that Sasuke hadn't understood her at all. Only he had. He had listened to her, and he had believed in her. It filled her with so much delight and happiness…

Out-loud, Sakura only managed a meager 'thank you'. But it came from the heart. _Get yourself together girl!_ Inner yelled. And so, Sakura's gaze became focused again and she spoke up to expose the truth of the illusion for all observants.

 _There we go!_ Inner cheered, mocking their shocked faces with wild gestures.

"Hm!" But things were never as easy. "You're stupid little weaklings anyway!" One of the boys jumped forward and aimed a kick right at Sasuke-kun, which he mimicked–

Before they could touch, the genin who had previously been writhing on the ground was between them in a flash, gripping their legs in place with just his bare hands.

 _…uhh, say what?_ Sakura thought incredulously. But her incredulity quickly turned into apprehension: that blonde ponytail… she could recognize it anywhere!

Ino.

Sakura frowned, suddenly struck by the reality of her situation.

 _Ino is here._

 _Non-Kakashi genjutsu are here._

 _Challengers are here._

 _And it's real. All of it._

(And she had left home without telling anyone, without a goodbye.)

Nervously glancing around, without really knowing what she meant to do, Sakura separated from her teammates and went after Ino. She quickly checked her reflection in a mirror in passing, then hurried forwards. She had worn her red dress again, though this time a sleeveless one because it was sexier. This was a trial of love, Sakura would have to show Ino all of her assets. No matter what Sensei said, she wasn't going to face her rival in a tank top!

(Still, it had been nagging at Sakura's conscience all morning.)

With a huff, Sakura resumed her trek up the stairs and took turns staring at Sasuke-kun's arm-warmers, which were of course with her, and at her sandaled feet.

Seeing Ino again had made her feel small and ugly, an insecurity she thought she'd overcome already. Sakura ran a hand through her hair, her stomach clenching with nerves. She was wearing all her ninja gear, but was it enough? What if she had to set more complicated traps, like the ones at Wave? What if someone caught the hem of her dress? Or worse yet, her hair?

Suddenly shaking with nerves, Sakura realized that she was already at the top floor. Sakura didn't dare lift her gaze.

 _I don't want to see the damn door! Aghhh! If I see it, that's it! There'll be no going back!_

"Hoe? What do we have here?" Startled, Sakura peered up and right into… Kakashi's masked face!

"Sensei…" she breathed, for once so, _so_ relieved to find someone familiar to cling to.

"Decided to scout ahead?" Kakashi queried blandly. Nothing about his demeanor had changed, not even his literary choices, and for once, Sakura was glad.

She harrumphed, then nodded uncertainly. "I wore the dress today."

"Seems that way."

Sakura's fingers twitched uncertainly. "Aren't you… angry?"

"Ma, Sakura, sometimes you offend me."

She giggled.

 _Sensei's always good to cheer me up._

(But then she remembered why she was on edge in the first place.)

Sakura gulped, running a hand through her long mane. "But what if someone… you know…"

"Pulls a Zabuza on you?"

"Yeah." Grabbing her by the dress and throwing her face against pillars was not exactly Sakura's idea of a passing grade.

Kakashi scratched his head. "You could always shrug the dress off if things get ugly. It has a zipper."

Sakura stared, processing his words.

 _You're joking_ , Inner cried. But he wasn't. And why would he? Sakura felt her lips curl into a smile.

"Sometimes you're actually helpful, Sensei."

Kakashi patted her head happily.

"I know, I know."

 _And sometimes he's a stuck up,_ she added mentally.

"But what if…"

The spine of Kakashi's book bent until it was shut. Kakashi pocketed it.

"Ma, ma… there's only so much that can happen, Sakura-chan."

 _Easy for you to say, Elite Ninja With a Reputation._

Sakura purses her lips. "I'm _serious_ , Sensei! What if not my dress, but my hair gets tangled? Or caught? And what if I need to build an efficient trap? I don't have any sheaves or…"

"You _seriously_ didn't bring equipment?" Kakashi asked blandly.

"I brought what I had," Sakura interjected snappily.

There was an awkward moment in which Inner Sakura banged her head against a boulder repeatedly.

After staring at her drolly for what seemed to be a decade, Kakashi's hands lazily went to one of his pockets, idly thumbing a worn-looking scroll and releasing it.

Sticking his hands inside, he proceeded to withdraw his burn-proof, electricity-conducting, poison-coated, six kilometer-long ninja wire _and_ a pair of sheaves that Sakura was intimately familiar with through his traps. Speaking of which, Kakashi also withdrew the infamous rope which Sakura had never managed to cut, even with a kunai, and then a white box with a red cross on it.

"What's all this for?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

"Why Sakura-chan, it's a loan." After a second: "with interests."

She nearly groaned.

(But then the first sentence registered.)

Sakura all but grinned. "Alright!"

 _This makes everything so much easier!_ "Thanks, Kakashi-sensei. I mean it."

Kakashi gave her an idle salute.

"Anything for my personal pests."

 **TWISTED**

So, Sakura is terribly rude to her mother, avoids being rude to Lee (for the moment) and it is finally unveiled that team seven will participate in the exams!

(In case there was any doubt.)

Someone made a really interesting suggestion about a new, ground-breaking fanfiction skipping the chunin arc one day… but for plot reasons, I'm afraid that day won't be today.

Alas.

And now… this is kind of random, but does anyone like Kurenai? Heheh. You'd better, because she's appearing next chapter! Though not likely in the way you are imagining…

Wanna give it a guess? I'd bet you almost anything that you guys won't be able to divinate the setting in which she's… errr… introduced.

(I'm looking forwards to any wild guesses ;)


	13. Arc III: Enter: A Perverted Woman

The first test was nothing worth mentioning – at least in Sakura's case. It was about having brains, so naturally, half of the competition dropped out.

(Later, she found out that it was really about having 'ninja smarts' rather than 'book smarts' but Sakura's had cut it too.)

That day, she returned home with lifted spirits. She even went into her room like a real ninja – through the window – although Sakura would have to admit that this came more from preservation instincts than from ninja-ness.

She was almost proud of herself for avoiding her mom, a chunin, so successfully, when she remembered that she'd have to get out of her room to use the shower. Cursing inwardly, Sakura made the rash decision to go to the hot springs.

Anything not to see Mebuki.

 **TWISTED**

As it turned out, the hot springs were just what she'd needed.

A relaxing, warm bath with nice fumes, and no clothes to obstruct her, nor the weight of Sasuke-kun's arm warmers, nor any need to keep up the genjutsu… –wait. The genjutsu! She'd forgotten to dispel it!

Sakura could have facepalmed. At first, she'd nearly forgotten to cast it a few times, and now she forgot to remove it! Specially when she shouldn't be wasting chakra for the coming day…

With a sigh, Sakura dispelled it and went back to relaxing.

Only she couldn't.

Cracking an eye open, she cast a sweeping glance over the almost-empty room.

There. A woman was unabashedly staring at her.

 _Is she some kind of pervert?_

Inner Sakura mentally prepared for battle.

After a moment in which nothing happened, she was getting nervous.

 _Just ask her what her problem is,_ Inner instructed. _We're ninja. We'll beat her to a pulp if we have to._

 _I can't do that,_ Sakura argued. _It's extremely rude! What would Mom say?_

Inner grinned maliciously.

 _My point exactly._

So Sakura walked up to the woman, letting Inner take the lead.

"Excuse me, why were you staring at me?"

The woman's eyes – ruby red, Sakura realized with a start – turned towards her own analytically.

"It bothers you?"

" _Yes!_ – I mean – no." Was it a sign of insecurity to be bothered by it? Ino was never bothered by being stared at. Even if it was her butt. "I mean…" _Don't back out now!_ Inner encouraged. "I was just… minding my own business, you know?" Sakura said firmly. With more confidence: "so you mind yours. Staring is rude."

The woman hummed.

"Does our environment influence this sentiment?"

Sakura frowned. Then glanced at herself and flinched.

 _Gah! I'm buck naked!_

The woman seemed to glean something from her reaction and nodded to herself.

"I expected Kakashi's student to be more shameless." Here she chuckled. "That goes to show how very full of prejudice the human mind is." She paused thoughtfully. "Interesting, the human mind – don't you think?"

Sakura nodded slowly.

Wait. She knew Kakashi. So she was a ninja?

(Lots of ninja – at least in Sakura's personal experience – were perverts. Starting with the aforementioned jonin.)

Could it really be that this freaky woman was a pervert?

Sakura couldn't possibly fight her – they were alone and she held no illusions about her strength.

 _Flee!_ her anti-Zabuza instincts were telling her. Even Inner was scared:

 _Let's get outta here!_ she urged. They were all alone, after all. If something happened, it was game over.

The hot springs were in open-air, so maybe if Sakura managed to chakra-climb up the wall… no, she wouldn't make it. She needed her weapons first. But those were… home.

Just _great_.

Sakura had to hightail it out of there.

Quickly, she fished out a pebble from the ground and hid it under the water. Concentrating on the image of a spinning shuriken, Sakura focused her chakra into the pebble. Then she threw it at the woman and bolted towards the end of the pool. Unfortunately, wading was an arduous process – and amidst her agitation, Sakura was suddenly worried, for she couldn't hear the woman wade after her.

"Genjutsu?" The clear voice was startlingly close. "Was that supposed to be a shuriken? _Really_ prejudiced there."

The woman was crouching _before_ her. On the water.

Sakura froze.

Okay, plan B.

"Help! There's a pervert trying to rape me! Help! Save me! PERVERT!" She began screaming at the top of her lungs, all the while back-pedaling to the other side of the pool. The woman just stared after her quietly, not moving a muscle.

Sakura was panicking.

Somehow, she made it out of the water, towards her clothes, threw on her dress and leggings sans underwear and ran out of there.

 **TWISTED**

The next day, at five in the morning, Sakura got up. She wasn't supposed to, but she was too nervous to sleep. With jittery feet, she roved through her wardrobe, pulling out one of her usual black cotton shirts and leggings, but hesitated with the dress.

Trial of love…

Almost against her will, Sakura put it on.

It's Mom's dress… she brushed her hands over it.

 _Yeah… maybe we should discard it just to spite her._

Sakura thought about it.

 _No. It's Mom's dress._

Sighing, she began the arduous process of wrapping the shuriken holster around her leg. When she was done, she moved to her weapons pouches.

Sakura didn't have enough space in there for Kakashi's ninja wire… but she refused to go without it. Thinking quickly, she took out another shuriken holster and transferred a few of the spares in her pouch to it.

Still not enough space for Sensei's medical kit. This time she had to think a bit more.

In the end, Sakura discarded it. It was too big to carry around, and with Sasuke-kun's strength, she wouldn't even have to use it. Nervously, she put the white box back on her night table and moved to check her mirror image. She still had a ways to go before she could look as nice as Ino.

Don't let it show! Inner burst out.

 _Tell me something I don't know already…_ Sighing, Sakura ran a hand through her hair. _Wait. Her hair!_

Even Ino wore it in a ponytail. Sakura battled with herself for a moment. Would another ponytail be considered copying?

She settled for a pigtail.

 _Argh! My scar's so noticeable now!_

Fastidiously, Sakura undid a hair-strand to dangle in front of her left temple. Ugh. Her hair was still too long. Anyone could grab the pigtail.

With frustration, she pinned it into her head and started stacking hair clips into it. She glanced at the mirror.

"Kaguya's sneer, that's hideous!"

Horror stricken at her appearance, Sakura undid the whole thing.

 _My forehead is so huge…_ she lamented. _I just looked like an ugly boy… what kind of kunoichi is ugly? Ugh._

After some pacing, she ended up repeating the whole hairstyle procedure. She'd have to deal with the pigtail-bob until she could think of something better. To Sakura's utmost dismay, her scar still peaked out at each sway of her bangs.

Stupid scar she grouched, fiddling with her mom's concealer.

"Sakura?" there was suddenly a quiet knock on her door. "Have you had breakfast already?"

"No, Dad. I'm coming!"

 **TWISTED**

Breakfast was not pleasant.

Sakura could barely eat, her stomach felt queasy, and the silence was oppressive. Her mother wasn't leafing through the newspaper, her father wasn't humming.

"Do you have everything?" Mebuki asked quietly.

Sakura nodded, not meeting her eyes.

Kizashi squeezed her shoulder. "We believe in you, Monkey."

"Forfeit if you cannot go on," Mebuki added.

"And don't accept food from strangers!"

Sakura nodded numbly at all of their suggestions.

"Sakura? Are you sure you want to do this?"

 _No._

"Yes."

Mebuki inhaled deeply. "Use your head. It's so wide for a reason."

Sakura roller her eyes. Leave it to her mom to crack a joke with a poker face.

"Do you like my hairstyle?"

Mebuki frowned.

"No." She paused. "Because it means you're growing into a real kunoichi." She sighed, brushing the strand from Sakura's face. "A scar…" Mebuki grimmaced. "Tell me… next time, okay?"

Sakura nodded, a lump in her throat.

 _Next time._

"Goodbye."

Kizashi's stocky arms enveloped her in a warm hug just as Mebuki flicked her cheek affectionately.

"If it becomes too much, give up, okay, honey?"

Sakura nodded slowly.

"I… Mom, Dad… I'll… pass, you'll see."

She had meant to say 'I love you.'

 **TWISTED**

Sooo… there you have it. Kurenai hotsprings = very embarrased Sakura. I realize that Kurenai's personality might differ s notch from what it's usually like in other works, but I personally quite like how she turned out. I mean, she's given way too little screen time in canon, and someone that could make a great thinker such as Asuma fall in love was bound to have an interesting personality. So yeah. Your thoughts?

Anyways, you might also be a bit stumped that I just up and skipped the first exam, and believe me, it's not from lack of loving the plot. The main issue was that it didn't contain any particular divergences from canon, but the real reason why I skipped it was to show how Sakura's perception of it is kind of hazy. That's because Ino used her mind-capturing jutsu on her at the time, henceforth her recollections of it are distorted. Besides, if you're interested in that part, you should really go ahead and check out the anime. The mind games are great.


	14. The Forest of Death

The examinees who had passed the first exam were led to a part of the village Sakura didn't know of.

After a quarter of an hour on the move, the proctor, a scantily clad woman, stopped walking. Glancing away from Sasuke-kun, Sakura realized that they had hit a dead end.

An old fence was the only thing separating the group from a gigantic tree – one unlike anything Sakura had ever seen before. Then she realized that there was an entire forest of those trees beyond the fence. It seemed almost ready to burst.

She gulped, gazing around nervously.

They wouldn't have to go in there, right…?

Sakura sighed with relief upon catching sight of a sign that read:

'RESTRICTED AREA. 

KEEP OUT.'

But then the proctor went and ruined it:

"This is the location of the second exam," she barked at them. "It's Training Ground 44, most widely known as… the forest of death."

Several people shuddered. Sakura could see why.

"Hmp! The forest of death! Yada yada! Look how I'm shaking in my boots!" Naruto challenged, unimpressed.

"Idiot… get back here!" Sakura whispered nervously, though no one heard her.

 _Of course._

The proctor was too busy returning Naruto's provocation like some sort of wild banshee.

In less than a second, she was hovering behind him, dragging the tip of a kunai across his cheek. Sakura gasped. She had cut it open. Blood oozed out of Naruto's wound. Everything had gone still.

 _What's with this proctor?_ Inner nervously thought. _She's a psycho!_

"My, my, brat," the banshee proctor called brusquely. "Aren't you… jumpy?" There was a rather sadistic smile on her face as she drew blood from the knife. But suddenly – Sakura couldn't follow it very well – there was some strange grass kunoichi behind the proctor, licking blood off of another kunai.

She'd gotten past the banshee's guard… amazing! Sakura's eyes widened. When had she got there? How? Was this the level of the chunin exams? Even if it was, Sakura made the resolution to avoid this creepy woman at all costs.

"Looks like this year's batch is a bit hot blooded, huh?" The banshee continued, smirking at the strange grass-kunoichi, completely unruffled. "A word of advice though. Don't get behind me unless you want your eyes gouged out."

Sakura shivered involuntarily, though the kunoichi didn't look particularly impressed as she drew the licked kunai away.

Banshee frowned.

"You," she barked at Naruto. "Pass these around." She dumped a stack of papers in his hands.

"Huh? What's this permit for?" someone asked.

Banshee looked at him funny.

"Don't look so surprised kid, there will be corpses after all…" she chirped breezily. "I'm not getting roped with the responsibility if you die on me."

"Yeah, it's only natural." Shikamaru remarked under his breath.

Inner Sakura nearly had a giggling fit. _Probably induced by the fear,_ Inner analyzed. _We do tend to get hysterical at the worst times._

To tell the truth, Sakura was not exactly in a fine mood. She felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice-cold water on her.

 _Now I understand, Mom…_ she thought. _But I can't drop out! It's too late for that!_ She was panicking.

"Anyway. You have half an hour to sign these, then go behind the curtain to be given a scroll and a gate number. Now get to it!" Banshee ordered. "Ah, and one word of advice…" Sakura perked up. These kinds of things were usually helpful. But Banshee was just sadistic: "Try not to die."

 **TWISTED**

Sakura drifted off towards the beaten path around the fence. She needed time alone right then.

"Ara, ara! Look who's there! If it isn't Bilboard-chan!"

 _Yeah, right. Time alone._

Sakura froze.

Like an unwanted pest, Ino and her team had popped up before her. Sakura had been too spaced out to see the trio, but now it was too late to avoid them. "I thought you went home a long time ago!" Ino continued, looking over Sakura critically. "I never imagined that you'd still be here." She frowned. "Seriously, go away! This is too big for you!"

Sakura pasted a saccharine smile on her face.

"Araa? Look who's there!" she mimicked, because she was bad at comebacks. "The ugly Ino-buta-san!" Sakura smirked. "Starting now, there's five days of survival with Sasuke-kun waiting for me. Why would I want to leave?"

"Billboard…!" Ino growled enviously.

"Ugly!" Sakura retorted, ever creative.

"Billboard!"

"Ugly!"

"Billboard!"

This strange name-calling continued until both were out of breath and Ino's teammates looked slightly freaked out.

Annoyed, Sakura lifted her consent permit and signed it without a second thought.

Showing it to Ino with bravado, she made a sweeping gesture with her wrist. "Sorry, Ino, but get lost." Proudly lifting her chin, Sakura smiled sweetly at the blond menace and strolled back to her team.

 _Like hell I'll let you best me, Pig._

 **TWISTED**

Team seven walked behind the administration curtain. They had all signed the permit.

Two proctors waited for the three of them on a desk beyond it, and Sakura vaguely noted that they suspiciously resembled the two boys which had been blocking the fake door at the Academy.

"Alright, it's all in order," one said. "There you go." They were handed a 'heaven scroll'. "You've got five minutes tops to decide which of you carries the scroll and which gate number you want." The proctor on the left instructed.

Team 7 nodded and did a sort of huddle.

"So… who carries the scroll?" Sakura asked, hoping that it wouldn't be her.

Naruto grinned, pointing at himself eagerly.

Sasuke ignored him like usual: "I'll do it."

Sakura nodded, bobbing her head up and down nervously. "It's for the best, Naruto."

Innerly, she was completely freaking out.

 _Am I really gonna go in there? Ah!_

"Hah? No way, Sakura-chan!" Naruto's outraged protests brought her back to her senses.

"Yes way, Baka!" she replied on autopilot.

Naruto crossed his arms. "With the way Sasuke acts like a bastard, anyone would know that he's carrying it!"

Sakura was about to refute his point and leave it at that, because Sasuke-kun was definitely not a bastard, when the masked face of their teacher appeared in her mind. She remembered everything that she had learned about traps and deception from Kakashi-sensei, she considered it, she thought a bit more on it, and…

"Naruto, maybe you're right…" she concluded hesitantly.

"Uh???" Recovering from shock, Naruto loudly yelled: "See, teme? The world doesn't turn around you! _Ha!_ "

At Sasuke's glare, Sakura flailed her arms defensively.

"I didn't say Sasuke-kun shouldn't carry it, I just think… we don't need to limit ourselves, you know?" Both her teammates were frowning at her by then. Swallowing, Sakura explained: "Those scrolls are pretty average. It wouldn't be difficult to make a copy."

Naruto's, and even Sasuke's eyes, widened with appreciation.

"Nice going, Sakura-chan!" the blonde praised. "Wait here, I'm getting my back-pack!" Sakura nodded, shouting that he should hurry.

"Sakura." Oh gods, Sasuke-kun had spoken. "Naruto is very easy to read. An enemy could guess who has the scroll just by watching his body language."

It took a moment to process what he had said, but when she did, Sakura deflated. "You're right, Sasuke-kun…" she acknowledged defeatedly. Of course her plan would be ruled out before they could even try it.

But Sasuke just smirked. "Let's use that."

 _Wait. What?_

"Wh-what do you mean?" Sakura stammered.

"It's simple really." Sasuke stuck his hands into his pockets. "We conceal the real scroll in the dobe's bag with a genjutsu and give him another fake. We'll tell him that I have the real one."

Sakura's eyes widened.

"That's genius, Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke's smirk widened. "I'll distract him. You exchange the scrolls."

Sakura devilishly smirked back and gave him a thumbs-up.

Finally, she and Sasuke-kun were getting along! This was a victory!

 _Cha! Throw at me whatever you want, psycho Banshee! Love conquers it all!_

 **TWISTED**

"Begin!" The gates opened all at once, letting the examinees into their maybe-doom.

Sasuke and Naruto shot forwards towards the forest like two torpedoes, but Sakura stopped them mid-dash.

"Wait!" She was now more confident in her skills due to the earlier victory. Finally, she understood: _Sasuke-kun isn't attracted to intelligence like I thought he was, what he likes are results to show for it!_

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, irritated.

"Let's go that way!" Sakura pointed to their right. "Most examinees will be in the forest, where they can ambush us. As long as we stay outside, we're safe!"

Naruto frowned dubiously. "But the tower is _inside_ the forest, Sakura-chan!"

Sakura smirked again.

"But the river is the _other_ _way_ , dummy. If we make it to the river, there won't be trees around to prepare an ambush either. And we'll have water at our disposal and a clear path to follow. Didn't you see earlier? It leads right to the tower."

Naruto's mouth dropped open.

"Good thinking, Sakura," Sasuke said. He had already changed course.

Sakura grinned, happier than she had been in years. All of the pent-up tension and stress were starting to dissolve.

 _Shanaro!_ Inner started ominously cracking her knuckles. _This,_ she announced grinning, _is the rebirth of Haruno Sakura! Get ready Sasuke-kun, Ino, Naruto, 'cause there_ will _be results!_

 **TWISTED**

Wow, guys, so many reviews! I'm glad you like my take on Kurenai! And my story in general, anyways. _And_ you better be ready for some action, because shit's hitting the fan next chapter. (Whether it'll be a pedofilic shit, that I'll let you guess.) I felt kind of bad when I read this, seeing how the chapter is so short, but they're getting progressively longer from this point in the story onwards. There isn't much to be said about chapter fourteen except that it sets up the general premises for one of the most important fases of the exam (character-growth wise the winner hands down) and that sort of thing. As you can see, Sakura is coming to some realizations about herself that strongly point towards something that starts with 'ma', isn't Madara, and ends in 'rity'. Guess the word? (Okay, ignore me.)

So… about Sakura's mom, some of you are happy that they kind of made up, while others are like: "have Sakura move out of her house ASAP!" I think the diversity of opinions is kind of funny, honestly. In case anyone was wondering, it'll be a while till Sakura begins living alone… only not quite. You'll see what I mean.

Anyways, have a nice week. In case anyone is as unlucky as I am, good luck with your exams!


	15. Layers of Deceit

After about half an hour of searching, team seven stumbled upon the river.

"Man! I need to pee!" Naruto proclaimed, jumping right inside.

"Eeeh???" Sakura squawked. (Even Sasuke had made a disgusted face.) "You don't pee in front of a lady!"

What kind of education did he even have? Ah, right, none!

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sasuke smirk to himself.

And now he thought it was funny?

 _Ugh… boys!_ Inner Sakura lamented exasperatedly. She was waiting for Naruto to emerge from his underwater trip so she could pounce on him, but he never came.

One minute later, Naruto was still under water.

Her shoulders tensed. "Sasuke-kun…" Sakura began anxiously, but Sasuke had already understood. With a leap, he dove right into the floods.

Sakura watched horrified as little bubbles formed on the surface.

She started hyperventilating. She should go in there. She should. She had to. But she couldn't move. Sakura was petrified.

 **TWISTED**

It took them _minutes_ to reappear. When her teammates finally showed, Sakura, who had already been crying, almost chocked on her tears.

Both Sasuke and Naruto had brown things sticking to them. Brown, striped, slug-like…

–at that point, Sakura's bookworm tendencies had made a dashing reappearance. Now she knew exactly what those brown things were.

"Those are flying leeches!"

"What?!" Naruto's voice had gone shrill, his cheeks slightly puce. "I don't care what they are! Gah! Just get them off me!"

Even Sasuke seemed slightly desperate as he tried but failed to pry one away.

"No! Sasuke-kun, Naruto, stop pulling!" In less than a second, Sakura understood the gravity of the situation. "The teeth will remain under your skin! Get out of the water first!"

After an impressive showdown of flailing and kicking, Naruto and Sasuke strenuously made it to the shore, leeches still clinging. They were tired and weak and muddy, their hair pressed to their scalp unflatteringly.

Sakura had never even fathomed that her hero and love interest could be compromised in any sort of situation…

Seeing him now was disheartening as much as it was a serious wake-up call.

But that didn't matter anymore. Sasuke-kun wasn't safe yet – uncool or not – and these thoughts were only fleeting as Sakura wildly ran her hands through her hair in an attempt to remember anything useful.

Unfortunately, the only thing that came to mind about Konoha's flying leeches was that humans dropped dead after five minutes of exposure.

 **TWISTED**

Three minutes had passed.

Naruto's coloring was slowly resembling that of a radish – Sasuke not far behind.

Sakura's hair was a mess, slowly resembling that of chimpanzee–

And then the revelation came. Their one weakness was…

"HEAT! Make a fire!"

Naruto was clutching his bottom rather harshly. "Then do it!"

 _But how? We're next to a river!_ Teacher-mascot-Sakura's levelheadedness had crawled far, far away, migrating somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind.

"Get wood…! Quick!" Sasuke's hoarse voice set her into motion.

 _Heck, just get the godforsaken wood, goddamnit! Fucking hurry! Argh!_ Inner Sakura was shouting out every curse-word she had ever learned from Ino in a panicked frenzy.

But outer Sakura had years of suave gestures and calm movements on her belt.

She stayed still.

"What are you doing?" both her teammates demanded simultaneously.

Sakura's answering yell was shrill. "Sasuke! Your fire jutsu!"

His dark eyes went even wider.

Scrambling through the hand signs, Sasuke blew a powerful fire-current into the nearest tree. Without even bothering to yank a branch off for better mobility, he and Naruto pressed against the flames as closely as they possibly could, leeches notwithstanding.

 **TWISTED**

"Alright guys. I don't care what kind of plan you have, we are not returning to that river!" Naruto declared.

 _That's kind of an understandment…_ Inner Sakura thought, though she wasn't about to agree with him out loud. It had been her idea to go there after all, and a sort of misplaced pride and guilt kept her from apologizing.

"Talk louder, will you, Naruto-norama!" she lectured instead.

Naruto grumbled and Sasuke smirked, but it wasn't his usual smirk. It was tense, strained somehow. All the time Sakura had spent tracing his features in her mind had paid off, it was clear to her now that something wasn't right.

Suddenly alarmed, Sakura glanced around, searching for anything…

And then she saw the dry sand on the ground. On any other occasion, without being used to Kakashi's traps, Sakura wouldn't have thought twice about it. It was just sand. But they were standing on a riverbed. The sand was too dry and too white to belong there. _It wasn't a trail, so how…?_

And then she realized… Sakura's eyes snapped to the earth. Her breath hitched, her pulse quickening to a sickening rate…

 _Someone's below us._

"Sakura."

She pried her eyes off, twitching violently.

Having caught her attention, Sasuke seemed satisfied, his stance imploring her to calm down. They were being eavesdropped on, and that knowledge was their only advantage. Sakura couldn't reveal it.

But Sasuke had already spoken, and it would be suspicious if he didn't say anything now.

"Just like now in the river, if we get separated, there's a possibility that an enemy will transform to get close to us…" he told them analytically.

Naruto and Sakura nodded along, the latter wondering how Sasuke could possibly remain so calm in such a situation.

"But how do we get around that?" she asked nervously. "Transformations, if executed correctly, are impossible to tell apart."

"We'll decide on a password," Sasuke replied, making eye contact with the both of them. This was serious. "Listen, if the password is incorrect, no matter what either of us looks like… presume he is the enemy."

Sakura gasped. She couldn't afford to forget it!

Sasuke continued smoothly:

"I'll only say it once, so listen closely: you ask for the ninja song 'ninja chance' and the answer is this: 'the chance to sneak up when a large number of enemies are making a scene. The quiet place has no secret hideout. It is important for a shinobi to know the right time. The time when an enemy is tired and drops his guard.' That's it."

Sakura nodded to herself.

"Got it." It was pretty standard after all. But then Naruto went and opened his mouth:

"Could you say it again…?" Next to her, he seemed a little helpless.

To Sakura's surprise, Sasuke shook his head.

"I told you I would say it only once."

There was a brief second in which Naruto looked hurt, but then it was gone like it had never happened.

"Hmp! Why do we even need this silly password!" the blonde argued. "This is stupid. And why do you get to set it? Think you're better than everyone else, huh, do you?"

And that's when Sakura realized that Naruto didn't know that there was an enemy right under them.

"Not everyone, just you."

Sakura glanced back at Sasuke, wide-eyed.

He was keeping up the banter in a moment like this? And why didn't he repeat the password? Sakura could swear that Sasuke had said those exact same words to Naruto already, and back then they had been cool, but now… wait. Password? Naruto probably wouldn't be able to even remember it. What was the point…?

Sakura didn't understand.

But then came the big realization: Sasuke was counting on Naruto to forget!

The real trick was for team seven to act like their usual, cliche selves, not to know the password!

 _Sasuke-kun is so clever!_

But… Sakura imagined herself trying to fool Ino if she were the attacker. She didn't think she could. And anyway, no one who knew Naruto would transform into him and act smart. They'd know instantly that he wouldn't be able to remember the password. So Sakura spoke up:

"Yeah, Naruto, even someone like Ino knows you're an idiot."

"What? Sakura-chaan…"

But the message had come across. Sasuke seemed to have realized what she was thinking.

"That's right. What are we going to do with you, dobe?" he asked.

Sakura on her part was thinking something along those lines – while Naruto did a very good job at filling the silence.

Sasuke's idea was a very good one, but on the off chance that their ambushers were either Ino's team or the other rookie team… they'd be screwed.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura remembered Kakashi's double layer of deception policy. She tried to remember characteristic facets of her teammates, something to hold on to – anything. She thought back to their time at the Academy, of Sasuke being handsome, or that one occasion in which Naruto had hengued into a nude girl and Iruka-sensei had got a nosebleed…

 _Wait!_

 _That's it!_

Putting a finger to her lips, Sakura performed a flawless, silent transformation into Sasuke.

Naruto looked confused, but Sasuke seemed to catch on to what she was trying to do, and subsequently transformed into Naruto. With a bit of silent urging, the real Naruto followed suit and transformed into Sakura. For once, she was happy that Iruka-sensei had put so much emphasis on this particular transformation, because even Naruto's was perfect.

Sakura, now Sasuke in all his sharingan-wielding glory, threw her teammates a proud smile.

 _Like this, we just have to act like our usual selves while looking like someone else!_ she surmised mentally. _Even if someone like, say, Ino, hengued into Naruto and acted stupid, we'd know her to be an imposter because that should actually be Sasuke, and the real Naruto looks like me, bookworm Sakura. It's a foolproof plan that'll work on anyone!_

But her victory was short lived.

BOOM!

Before she could register what was happening, Sakura was swept off her feet, flying backwards at a break-neck speed, catapulted trough an explosion of smoke and debris, away from her teammates and into the opposite side of the river, at last crashing down with a loud thud.

Upon landing, she struggled to get up. She had been wounded, but her injuries weren't severe (Sakura had become quite accomplished at chakra coating) but not good enough to avoid what was probably some horrible bruising on her left side.

"What do we have here?" A husky voice startled her out of her reverie, and Sakura stared, shocked, at the ninja a few paces from her. It was the woman who had snuck up on the psycho proctor with ease – the same woman she had resolved to avoid at all costs – who now stood in front of her with a predatory glint in her black eyes. "Scared, little prey?" she purred lowly.

By that point, Sakura was beyond scared.

Without another thought, she bolted.

TWISTED

Okay… I'm late. Sorry that I pulled a Kakashi on you – I'm a whole day behind schedule. I had lost my phone and so wasn't able to update yesterday, though luckily that was easy to fix.

This chapter was sort of a bridge to the real action scene, which is really making me wonder if you can kind of guess what's gonna happen next. 'Cause it _will_ be big.

There was also one part, which re-reading it kind of reminds me of a Harry Potter 1 scene – where Hermione actually forgets she's a wizard! It's funny that something similar would happen to Sakura, though leeches are weak to heat (believe me, I've checked) so I guess it kind of makes sense.

Anyways, exams will be over for me on Wednesday, so I might upload glossary #2 in an act of goodness.

Cya!


	16. A Particular Lady

Sakura ran like her life depended on it. It might.

She ran away from the river, from her teammates, from the woman, and deeper into the dark forest.

Some sort of primal instinct told her to keep running, even when by all means, the woman should be far, far behind. But at some point, Sakura remembered that she was a Konaha ninja, and that it was the smart thing to do to keep to the trees. So she coated her feet with chakra and sprung upwards.

She wasn't used to extreme jumping, and the jolt of it sent another wave of adrenaline coursing trough her.

Strangely enough, it had a grounding effect on Sakura.

She forced herself to still her breathing and wiped away any trace of her scent. Carefully, Sakura pressed against the shadows of a large tree, mindful not to trap herself, and cast a shadowing illusion over her body. One of her hands instantly flew to her pouch, feeling for anything that could be helpful at all…

And then she was suddenly there, dangling in front of Sakura with wide black eyes and disjointed features. The woman had located her prey.

Sakura gasped loudly. It filled the eerie quiet in a stifling manner.

"My, my. I did expect you to put up some fight, little prey. Are you so afraid of me?"

She drawled the last word with a sort of sinful satisfaction, both probing and reproving, wildcat and bloodhound at the same time, or a cobra about to –

And then something changed.

Sakura fell to her knees, her eyes wide and moist.

She felt two unforgiving, venomous fangs tearing trough her flesh, her eyeballs, heard her arms pop and her elbows squeak. Like a punch to the stomach, all air left her lungs. She was asphyxiating, dying, dying, being killed, murdered, slaughtered.

Sakura saw her own death.

It lay beyond the dark void of the woman's gaze, concealed under her drawled words and slimy tongue.

She had felt this before, to a smaller degree, that one moment in which Zabuza had stopped playing with her, had nearly killed her. But Kakashi wasn't here now, and this lasted _longerlongerlonger_! so Sakura's death played over and over again before her very own eyes.

The woman giggled and made to throw something at her.

And that's when some vague part of Sakura realized that if she didn't move, she'd die for real.

 **TWISTED**

 _Do it._

It was a command.

And suddenly, Sakura wasn't Sakura any more. Her Inner, her most guarded and clandestine secret, had burst forward – both metaphorically and literally – or rather, side-wards, and Sakura was sprinting again. If someone had asked her to describe the following chase, she wouldn't have been able to. As a matter of fact, she wouldn't have been able to remember it. It was a blur of speed and green and tree roots and her feet pounding on the ground, so much chakra and adrenaline coursing through her that Sakura's head felt dizzy, like something had exploded in her brain. She couldn't think straight, just run, run, run for her legs had been made only to run.

Nothing else mattered or even existed.

But be that as it may, the woman was catching up, just like Zabuza had. She contorted her body in strange ways – almost like a cobra would – speeding after her prey.

 _Run, run, run_ ; it was a deadly dance.

Again, Sakura wished with all her might that Kakashi would come rushing in with his Chidori – ( _but he's not here!_ ) – only… he was. Right in her pouch.

With a yank, Sakura pulled out the kilometer-long ninja wire and her shuriken. Fueled by fear and practice, she swung the wire with deadly accuracy, attaching it to shuriken, which she smashed left and right, into one tree stem after another, making the wire span just into the woman's path.

(At the pace they were going, running into it would mean an instant decapitation. Even a scrape would get the poison-coating into her system.)

However, the woman did not so much as brush against Kakashi's wire. Easily, like this was some kind of game to her, she contorted again and again, forcing Sakura to resort to genjutsu in order to make it seem like the entire forest path was plagued with wire.

Though even then, the woman dodged and dodged, and Sakura was losing hope.

 _Run!_ Inner encouraged, but even the most courageous of parts within her knew that she couldn't keep this up.

Ever so slowly but surely, Sakura was starting to feel lightheaded. And… her limbs… they stumbled and became uncoordinated. Sakura's breathing became frantic again. The poison… she glanced at her hand.

 _Right there._

Her pinky had what could be considered a paper cut. Sakura was bound to have scraped herself with the poisoned wire, injecting the venom – a fast-acting paralyzing drug – into her blood stream. She didn't know how much time she had left, but running away wasn't an option any more.

No. No. No.

 _There's one last thing…_ Sakura thought. _One last thing that might get her._

She threw a smoke screen. It would buy her a minute tops, but Sakura had learnt to make knots the hard way.

 **TWISTED**

When the woman found her prey fifty seconds later, she was excited to finally take the prize. And a little wary. She had been vaguely expecting a trap, maybe. Nothing major. But her prey was alone, corned, open for attack–

It was instinct that made her jump. The woman's brows rose at the two humongous tree stems that had crashed together right where she had been standing, bound by ropes and propelled by gravity.

But hidden, hidden by…

Genjutsu was predictable, the woman supposed. It was always good for some fun.

 **TWISTED**

It hadn't worked. She had dodged. And Sakura had nowhere left to go.

"I- I'll give you the scroll…" she stuttered helplessly; a last ditch attempt. Something told her that this really wasn't about the scroll at all.

The woman's face gave nothing away as she chuckled. Without warning, her arm shot forward, elongating like a resort, and Sakura was suddenly pulled in towards the horrid beady eyes – closer and closer and closer –

"Let her go!"

The woman's face whipped around, wide eyed.

Standing there firmly, three shuriken between his fists, was Naruto. But something about him, his stance, his eyes – scarlet! –

"Sasuke!"

Sakura's voice came out hoarse from terror and raw relief.

 _He's here! He's here to save me!_

It was Sasuke no doubt, even if he was still under the hengue.

The woman stared at him. First incredulous, then almost… giddy.

Just with that one look, Sakura's relief turned into a ball of horror.

 _He can't! She'll kill him!_

Meanwhile, the woman looked back at her, then back at Sasuke, seemingly mightily amused.

"What do we have here?" she asked herself. Or was she talking to Sasuke? "Looks like my real prey has come of its own volition…" She spared Sakura one last, inscrutable glance. "Interesting… We'll continue this… eventually."

And with that, she launched herself at Sasuke, throwing Sakura away like a discarded toy.

What followed was the most spectacular fight that Sakura had ever witnessed.

Sasuke dodged and kicked and was ready and prepared to take the woman on even in Taijutsu.

He sprung traps at her, threatened with fire and flame, a flurry of shuriken and kunai, anything and everything.

But Sakura didn't enjoy the show. Every blow, every dodge, every breath could be his last, and there was nothing she could do about it. Even if it weren't for the poison, Sakura could at one glance see that she was completely out of her league.

But even Sasuke was.

It didn't take long until even he chose to take the safe route:

"The scroll…" he panted. "I'll give it to you if you leave us alone."

The woman licked her lips.

"Go ahead…" she whispered huskily. "Give it to me, boy."

 **TWISTED**

And Sasuke threw it.

It almost felt like time had stopped as the scroll sailed through the air, just waiting to be caught…

By Sakura.

Or rather, Naruto.

 _What?! No!_

"I may not know the password…" Naruto spat out, his gaze burning. "But you…" he glared at Sasuke, "you aren't the Sasuke I know!"

"You fool!" Sasuke yelled. "Stop!"

 _That's not even the real scroll…!_ Sakura mentally wept.

And that was when the woman chuckled darkly.

"Very good… you realized that I was hiding underground and set a password to detect any possible threats…" her tongue lolled around. "It is just too bad…" her fingers clutched the tender skin of her cheeks, "that I am your predator!"

She then pulled the flesh off, revealing a different, almost white face underneath; jutting and with dark-rimmed eyes that gleamed like unsettling lamps.

"I don't care who you are!" Naruto cried shakily. "You're not getting this scroll, s-snake lady!"

"Fool!" Sasuke chastised, looking sick. "That's Orochimaru! The sanin!"

Sakura's eyes widened with horror, though Naruto didn't seem to be familiar with the name, (which didn't keep him from understanding the connotation of Sasuke's words).

Orochimaru just smiled and licked his lips in preparation.

"Now let's get this started, shall we?"

 **TWISTED**

From the other side of the clearing, Naruto shouted at them, his voice impossibly high-pitched.

"Sasuke, what are you–!"

But they would never find out what exactly he had been about to say, because Orochimaru chose that exact moment to lung at them on top of a humongous black snake.

Sakura screamed.


	17. Unfreeze!

The snake was coming at Sakura and Sasuke at break-neck speeds, with nothing in its path to stop it from crashing against them. In an ideal situation, Sakura would've hugged Sasuke and cried, but this situation was way less than ideal, and Sakura was too poisoned to realistically be able to move, never mind hug anyone.

But just one millisecond before the crash, she couldn't bare it anymore and shouted:

"No! Please spare us–!" though the noise which the snake made, together with something else, muted her terror-stricken scream.

And that something else was their unpredictable teammate, Uzumaki Naruto, who had jumped in front of the giant snake and singlehandedly stopped it.

Somehow.

Sakura's jaw metaphorically dislocated.

Panting, Naruto turned to Sasuke.

"You're not scared, are you, _Bibiri-kun_?" he taunted, tired but intense, staring right at him.

There was a moment in which time seemed to freeze.

Sasuke had gone wide-eyed with shock, his countenance ashen and disbelieving. Even Orochimaru didn't seem to have accounted for this, but his surprise was short lived: with horror, Sakura witnessed his slick and slimy tongue wind around Naruto's torso, pulling him upwards and away from them. Sakura couldn't see what was happening – black sports had filled her vision – but she did suddenly glimpse Naruto's falling body as he was thrown towards one of the huge trees.

 _He won't survive that fall!_ she screamed mentally _. And Sasuke isn't doing anything!_

Sasuke wasn't doing anything. Nothing!

Naruto would die!

Die, die, die!

 _Death_.

 _I'm not gonna allow it!_ Inner roared, drawing at some hidden source of strength.

Shaking from the exertion, Sakura channeled all of her chakra to her right hand, commanding her fingers to move with everything she had.

She needed to make an impossible throw to save Naruto – pin him to a distant tree by his jacket using only a kunai – but she had to do it either way. Sakura didn't know how it was possible, but she summoned chakra which she didn't know she still had to her arm and _threw_.

And then she was dead to the world.

 **TWISTED**

When she woke up again, the sky was already dark. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Sakura's heart leapt to her throat at the memory of Orochimaru, but a few minutes of listening to the quiet forest gradually calmed her frayed nerves. Though this didn't last for long: she promptly realized that she couldn't move, couldn't sit up, couldn't even see what was around her, and least of all could look for her teammates. At this point in time, team seven was like a neon orange target for all other dangers – and Sakura just wanted to go _home_. Or Kakashi.

But both were out of her reach.

She tried to sit up, but to no avail, the paralyzer was still active. Sakura had to wait.

And wait.

And keep waiting.

It had to have been _hours_ …

 _This is like back at the bridge all over again!_ Innercried desperately. _We're like chicken about to be slaughtered!_

In the darkness, Sakura gritted her teeth, tasting salty tears.

Get up.

Get up.

 _Fucking get up!_

But she couldn't.

Her limbs tingled unpleasantly. That was the extent of what she could move.

Sakura closed her eyes, thinking of how she wanted Kakashi-sensei to come and save her. Sasuke had clearly failed in this endeavor.

She thought and thought, frowning deeply.

Sasuke had been scared back then. Just like her. Against all odds, the one to play hero had been _Naruto_.

Sakura cried.

She cried about a lot of things.

Maybe she was a bit hard on him. Sakura remembered how she had felt back at the bridge, how she had wanted to keep Naruto from dying. (And Tazuna, right, Tazuna too.)

But now it wasn't just him, Kaguya knew where Sasuke was! Even when Sakura had tried to call both of them, no one had answered.

 _I have to… get up…_ she thought wearily.

Kakashi wouldn't rescue them here. _It's up to me. It's all up to me._

But there's a difference between thinking and acting, and as it happened, Sakura would be hard pressed to even move a limb.

 _But I can't save them like this…_ she panicked. _What's all of the muscle-training in the world good for if I can't even move my pinky?_ Recalling this particular brand of training made Sakura inwardly cringe.

Because of it, her arms weren't as slim anymore, all because Kakashi had taught her that 'trick' with the chakra channeling.

 _Chakra channeling._

 _Wait…!_

 _I can do it!_

Sakura's eyes widened.

 _Just channelling chakra won't help me…_ the pessimist in her realized.

 _And such deep channeling might kill us,_ Inner quipped. _Kakashi said so._

Sakura ruminated on this.

 _I need to get rid of the poison in my blood no matter what,_ she told Inner.

And this is the way.

 _Yes, even if it is dangerous._

 _And stupid._

But her mind was already set.

First, Sakura needed a sample to go off on. Inch by inch, she moved her right hand, – the one with the paper cut – towards her mouth. After maybe five minutes of desperate fighting, she had accomplished the smallest of feats: Sakura had bitten the previously clotting wound and tasted the blood. Honestly, whether she'd be able to taste the poison was a real gamble, but by some stroke of luck, she did.

 _Good_ , Inner said. _Now comes the tricky part._

And Sakura's viridian eyes fell shut.

 **TWISTED**

She spent what could be hours in a deep trance, concentrating on her chakra flow, on its steadiness and evenness, and then dove deeper and deeper, into the recesses of her body, peering into every nook and cranny.

At the Academy they had been taught that every cell had chakra, that every cell fed off the chakra stream, and this, of course, was bound to include blood cells, Sakura reasoned.

She sought to _find_ this connection.

She sought to pinpoint the exact location of the poison through this, now that she had an instinctual idea of what she was looking for.

But nothing Sakura tried worked.

One didn't just randomly learn how to cure poisons in a day.

It just didn't happen.

 **TWISTED**

After more grueling attempts that failed again and again, Sakura decided to try something else:

 _I need to quicken my pulse_ , she reasoned to Inner. _That way, the poison will flow more quickly into the liver and I'll be able to expel it._

Inner Sakura frowned.

 _Are you serious? Doesn't that help to, like, spread it?_

Honestly, Sakura didn't know. _Then what am I supposed to do!_

Inner didn't answer, and Sakura lay alone in the darkness.

She couldn't move. But she didn't dare to go through with her new idea anymore.

She was feeling edgy; her body screaming at her to get up, every nerve was coiled, every fiber of her being wanted to _move_ … and yet, she just lay there.

Sakura forced her breathing to level out; tried to concentrate one last time.

She closed her eyes and focused on her abused chakra. But she was too nervous, too desperate, to be able to meditate. Instead of focusing on her chakra flow at a celular level, she only managed to insert it as deep as the muscle tissue, a task which she was already familiar with through Kakashi's training.

And thus, Sakura started wasting the last remnants of her energy and nerves in the useless task of pulling at her irresponsive muscles.

Predictably, nothing happened. It was all useless.

Sakura was so _mad_ at herself and at the world in general that she couldn't help but punch the mossy earth. The pain wasn't really worth it.

But wait.

…or maybe not so useless.

 _We were able to move just know!_

Wide-eyed and suddenly hopeful, Sakura started to channel chakra into her muscles at a brutal pace, relentlessly urging them to move, move, _move!_

 **TWISTED**

After another small eternity of activity, she was starting to feel her legs again. Sakura tried to heave her chest upwards, but it resisted. She tried again, this time bracing her bruised arms under her back. The process was hard and painful, and she had only gained a few centimeters on the earth, but she wasn't about to stop trying!

With caution but still determined, Sakura commanded her legs towards her, making them flex and then slowly braced her left foot on the ground. Using her right arm as backup, she propelled her own body upwards. For one split second, Sakura was glad for the strength in her arms – but then her legs had stumbled and she wound up sprawled on the dirt again.

 **TWISTED**

It took her an indefinite number of tries, each painful and harsh, but Sakura went trough the motions robotically, until finally she was back on her wobbly two feet.

She panted, putting her hands on her knees but not daring to sit down, and glanced around.

Naruto was pinned to a tree, (here she felt a small bout of pride at her excellent throw) and Sasuke was… writhing in pain.

Sakura gasped, running to his side, suddenly on her knees once more, right next to her suffering teammate.

 _He's burning up!_ she thought with a gasp. Eyes trailing sideways, she realized that Naruto too, looked quite ill.

Fearing for her teammates' health, but even more fearing an ambush, Sakura drastically made the difficult decision to _first_ get them to safety and then get them _first_ aid.

But the question was… _how?_

With panic, Sakura realized that their water bottles wouldn't be enough to last through the night, specially given the state of her team.

 _There's only one choice left and you know it._

Sakura hated her inner self sometimes.

Yes, yes she knew.

 **TWISTED**

What is the difficult choice going to be? DUN DUN DUN! Honestly, I am curious… what would _you_ guys do in a situation like that? It was pretty hard, as an author, to think my way out of it. Do _you_ have any ideas? Let me know in the comments! …I might add in a detail or two if you're okay with that.

On another note…

Remember when I said that I'd had to undergo an appendectomy (which involves getting three holes in your stomach) and that the experience inspired me for Twisted? Well this is what I meant.

The first night, I couldn't even raise my head without everything hurting, never mind when the morphine wore out of my system. It made me realize to what extent one can suffer even from a mild paralysis, and I was also forced to think of some really creative ways to get out of bed. Fortunately, my recovery was speedy, and so was Sakura's. She might not have found a way to cure herself of the poison, but she found a counter: her chakra. (Obviously this won't work on all poisons, it was only a paralyzer to begin with, but _details_.)

However, this is only the beginning. The fight has rendered Sakura defenseless and barely able to move, without water nor food, in charge of two unconscious teammates, afraid to use her only useful weapon, no first aid kid, no help, and in a forest full of enemies.

So… looking good, huh?


	18. Cornered

The sight of the river nearly gave her a panic attack. Sakura was terrified of the lurking leeches, but any other part of the forest was an unknown variable of lurking ambushers.

She had tied Naruto to her back and carried Sasuke in her arms – they were both heavy, but with chakra it was manageable. (The walk to the river was terribly unnerving, but somehow Sakura made it to her goal unnoticed.)

Once arrived, she had settled for a rocky formation that bade her shelter from the harsh wind as well as cover from prying eyes (to a certain extent) and rested for a few minutes. Her hiding place was close enough to the river that she could access water without having to leave her teammates, but far enough that the leeches wouldn't reach them, or so Sakura hoped. The hideout was definitely not great, first of all because making a fire would mean instant discovery, but she was too tired to keep looking.

Glancing at her teammates, Sakura realized that even though Sasuke's fever was high, he and Naruto were both shivering. Helpless and desperate, she took a kunai and in a last ditch attempt cut the straps of her dress off, transforming them into makeshift bandages.

She stared at them.

Everything bellow her waist, torn to shreds. Doing so was like a blow to the gut – it was the qipao dress that her Mom and Dad had given her for graduation, a beautiful piece of the finest silk, imported directly from tea country, and now Sakura had torn it.

Refusing to think about her loss right then, she grabbed some non-poisonous wire and used it to wrap the silky straps snuggly around her teammates, laying them both down together closely so that they could share body warmth. (With Sasuke, there was probably enough for the three of them.)

Sakura had also cut off two chunks of Naruto's precious orange jacket and dipped them into the cool water, which she had then pressed against both their foreheads. Now more than ever, she was regretting her leaving Kakashi's medical kit at home. Team seven was in a bitter need of anything that could help. From painkillers for Sasuke, to something simple like alcohol to desensitize all of their scrapes and bruises, anything at all would've been welcome.

 _Not to mention that the antidote was probably in there as well,_ Inner pointed out sardonically.

But the medical kit was far away, safely stored on top of her night table back in her cozy bedroom, and Sakura had no choice now but to do what little she could.

And of course, that involved taking preemptive measures against an ever-feared ambush.

She had to hold out until her team woke up.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura's viridian eyes slid over the rocks before her. She had managed to set all sorts of traps around camp – from dead falls to snares to simple string traps – but there were still five openings left. Sakura lacked pulleys to arm more, and the absence of trees wasn't of much help either. (Her only consolation was that due to that and the rocks, team seven now couldn't be attacked neither from above nor bellow, but it was a small one.) Sakura had also set a genjutsu, making it seem as though there was a pit where she and her teammates lay, but she was too weary to really perfect it; Kakashi would have sensed the illusion from a mile away.

Sakura only hoped that Orochimaru wouldn't come back.

 **TWISTED**

Falling asleep had never been so intensely tempting. She could only daydream of closing her eyes and dropping her guard, but inner Sakura was always unrelenting in reminding her that no! she couldn't afford to. It seemed like an eternity when _finally_ dawn came – and so did the enemy.

Sakura jerked wide awake from an almost half-sleep at the sound of voices. The one talking was boyish and feisty:

"You sure it's this way? We've been searching for so long, I'm starting to doubt you."

The answering voice sounded rough and low:

"I couldn't care less about your opinion, Zaku. _He_ explicitly stated that the Uchiha is close."

Sakura's heart leapt to her throat.

 _They're looking for us!_

"Personally, I think this whole thing's all bull. If those kiddies were around, we'd have spotted them ages ago." Now it was clearly a female talking, but even she sounded harsh and dangerous to Sakura's ears. Perhaps she was exaggerating, but in that moment Sakura felt like these people were an immediate threat to her life – one that she couldn't afford to encounter.

Unfortunately, the three ninja were headed right towards the rocks in which team seven had gone into hiding. Fearing for her teammates, Sakura concealed them in some stray shrubbery and crawled into a different direction. But just as she was moving away on all fours, a shadow suddenly appeared above her.

Sakura gasped.

Almost immediately, she realized her mistake.

 _Shit!_

But it was too late:

"Did you hear that, Kin?" the feisty one, Zaku, said suddenly. The forest had gone quiet.

The female voice, now sounding dangerously close to Sakura, almost purred her answer: "You bet I did…"

Sakura sensed the shadow above her jump to another rock and so she scrambled away, making even more noise.

"Looks like we found someone," the gravely voice said. "Are you the Uchiha, I wonder?"

"Or are you an ant that we can crush?" Zaku completed.

"Honestly you two, I'm thinking it's probably both…" Kin quipped, and Sakura could almost see a feral grin stretch over her lips. "Now come out and play, boy," she singsonged darkly.

Sakura's hands went to her kunai pouch. She hadn't dared to use Kakashi's wire again, even if it was for the traps, but now she might need to, and the choice was making her hesitate even then.

"Trust us, kid, this game's way more fun than hide n' seek," Zaku added.

"He will come out either way," the deep voice rasped. Sakura had a sinking suspicion that this was the leader.

Her breath hitched at the thudding of slow but quiet footsteps. They were closing in.

When she heard his voice speak again, it sounded much, much closer: "Now, now. We're looking for an Uchiha here, there was bound to be a genjutsu or two." And then, to her utmost horror: "Kai!"

 **TWISTED**

Sakura leapt, and she wasn't even a second late, because a heavy, steely something came crushing down in the exact same spot where she had been but a moment ago.

"It's a chick!" Zaku cried.

"You…" the leader, a tall, masked, dangerous-looking ninja had his one uncovered eye fixed right on her viridian ones. "You are the Uchiha's teammate, are you not?"

Sakura's increasing pallor was answer enough.

"Araa, looks like we found the Uchiha's little girlfriend," Kin spat.

Sakura cringed.

"Now, girly…" the leader drawled. "Hand the Uchiha over and you might just not die here."

Zaku and Kin laughed in the background, and something in Sakura's stomach churned.

She stayed still.

"Answer when we talk to you, bitch!" Kin growled, her hand sliding to her pouch. Sakura's eyes were flickering everywhere, taking in the enemies' increasingly aggressive stance and body language.

 _We can't hand them over._

These words, spoken by Inner, reflected the core of Sakura's resolution, though she wasn't able to say them out loud. Instead of speaking up, she just stood there, pale and still weak, her right hand clenched around a kunai, her viridian eyes glassy.

 _If he takes one step forward… I can get him_ , she thought, discreetly glancing at Zaku. She needed to beacon him towards her.

Sakura clenched an md unclenched her gnashing teeth, fighting to say something.

 _I know what I have to do,_ she told herself shakily. _There's just one chance._

In the recesses of her mind, she felt Inner urging her to deliver.

Sakura steeled herself and spoke.

 **TWISTED**

Okay, so I know I'm leaving you with another nasty cliffhanger here, but there's actually a plausible reason this time. Listen, guys…

Before you try to strangle me, just let me speak:

That reason is a POV switch.

Either you'll hate it or you'll love it, (I'm hoping for the second!) but yeah, the retelling of coming events will not be your usual Sakura introspective third person narration. Some of you keep saying that you don't notice any changes in Sakura at all, so I suppose this is a good chance to contrast those opinions with canon.

So… whose POV do you think I will use? Some of you will probably be able to guess it…

Or will you?

Do you even _like_ the concept of POV switches?

Ughhh… Whatever. It's already been written, so I guess we can only wait and see now.

(PS. I'm seriously still confused about the 3 thing… though I really appreciate the effort, tiffanycr!)

Anyways you guys, have a nice week!


	19. A Matter of Perspective

"Remind me why we're going this way again?" Ino complained loudly to her teammates. "A girl needs her beauty sleep, ya know?" She threw a dirty look at Shikamaru's back. "Even _you_ should be aware of that!"

Shikamaru himself grumbled nonsensically but otherwise gave no indication of stoping. Behind Ino, Choji was mourning the loss of his chips:

"–and on top of that," he was saying, "now I'm thirsty!"

Ino turned to glare at him.

"Well you're not getting a single drop of water from me! You already drank half of it in one go!"

Choji shrugged, looking over at Shikamaru expectantly.

"What a drag…" the aforementioned teammate lamented. "I already told you, there's a reason why we're making this stupid trip."

"What reason? That you got your lazy bum out of bed this morning?"

"This morning… back when I still had my chips… It feels like ages away already…"

At the front of their group, Shikamaru sighed for what could very well be the umpteenth time. "Look, we've almost made it to this stupid river. Once we get there, we look for a tall tree or whatever and take turns to sleep."

"The river!" Ino cried, positively elated. "Why didn't you say so earlier!"

"I think he tried to," Choji contributed.

Shikamaru snorted.

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Hmp! But how are we even gonna get to the top of a tree?" Ino asked crossly. "What if I fall off?"

"You can think of _that_ when we get there and I'm asleep," Shikamaru grumbled.

Behind them, Choji tried to eat some eye-catching, red berries, which Ino swatted away (to his mortification) just in time.

 **TWISTED**

A while later, team ten had reached a large tree which had sprouted just by the riverbed, a practical advantage that would allow them sight over a vast expanse of ground.

"…alright Mr. Lazy-Bum, do tell, how were you planning to get us up _there_?"

Shikamaru ignored Ino's protests and plopped down on the floor.

"Now he's Mr. Dirt-Bum," Choji observed neutrally.

"Aaaagh!" Ino screeched, making both of her teammates cringe. "Will you shut up already! I've had it with you two!"

In the background, mutters of 'troublesome woman' could be heard. Choji gave the unidentified berries another go.

Ino on her part devoted the following minutes to the victimization of herself. When she realized that there was in fact no one willing to comfort her or even listen to her ranting, she moved on to her next favorite topic:

"I bet Sakura's lying somewhere in a pit right now," she ascertained triumphantly. "Hopefully Sasuke-kun sees the light and leaves her there!"

"You're vile," Shikamaru muttered. And then, because he was feeling especially vindictive today: "I thought Sakura and you were _besties_."

As predicted, Ino became still.

Choji gave Shikamaru a look that very clearly said: 'now you've done it.'

Shikamaru almost winced.

"Um… or not," he amended quickly. "Whatever, this is troublesome." He scratched his neck uncomfortably and went back to fiddling with a pair of kunai.

Ino did not say another word. Shikamaru wondered why on earth he had brought up such a touchy subject. The whole exam was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.

"So… ah… how were you planning to get us up there?" Choji asked cautiously, testing the waters.

Shikamaru's eyes trailed to a blank-faced Ino, then elsewhere. Glancing at something in his lap, he heaved himself back up, revealing whatever it was that he had been doing. "Using this stuff, I guess." He chucked something at Choji. "It's our best shot."

"Um…" Discreetly glancing away from Ino's poker face, Choji stared blankly at the set of kunai, knotted to pieces of rope, which were now in his hands.

"You wanna climb?" his tone was tinted slightly incredulous.

"It helps when you channel chakra to your feet," Shikamaru contributed tiredly.

Choji was clearly unconvinced, dubiously fingering the impromptu climbing-pegs and rope.

"What a drag… maybe we could look for a cave or som-"

Shikamaru promptly cut himself off. Ino had yanked one of the kunai from his hands and wordlessly jammed it right into the tree's upper branches. Still without so much as a glance at them, she clutched the rope and climbed.

Back on the ground, the two remaining teammates were observing her struggle with gravity, both open-mouthed. Exchanging glances, they made quick work of their own ropes and followed.

 **TWISTED**

Choji had nearly fallen off twice; ending up caught just in the nick of time by each of his teammates respectively. Shikamaru's face had also at some point served to brace Ino's dangling foot when a branch had given away under her weight ("I refuse to be called heavy!"), and so it came to be that when the trio had finally made it to a respectable height, Ino was back to her usual self:

"Ugh! That was your worst idea to date and counting!" she complained heftily. "Well I'm not gonna take the first watch after everything you put me through! Shikamaru, you do it!"

Shikamaru stared at her. "What a drag… I would be indignant if I could muster the energy."

"There's no point in getting indignant at Ino," Choji pondered wisely.

"Troublesome woman… when am I getting my nap…"

But Shikamaru was spared an answer, because both Choji and Ino had already made themselves comfortable on the old tree and were either asleep or pretending to be.

"How troublesome…" he repeated, annoyed, glancing at an irresponsible Ino. He considered complaining some more, but then thought better of it. Shikamaru wasn't stupid enough to wake their local dragon for a second time, and he hadn't the heart to go bothering Choji. The forest had been the hardest on him after all.

And so it came to be that Shikamaru, who had made sure to stock up on sleep plentifully before their little excursion, resigned himself to staying awake for another two hours. He considered going to the river for some fresh water, but didn't find the motivation to do so; he was too tired for any more trouble.

And this is how, ignoring his thirst, Nara Shikamaru managed to escape just that: trouble. Of the really troublesome sort.

Not even a minute after thinking this, he heard voices. Alarmed but not willing to wake up his teammates if it mustn't be, Shikamaru drew a kunai and glanced around, making an effort to calm himself like his father had taught him. Team ten's presence had to go unnoticed at all costs.

A team of three, one that Shikamaru had mentally labeled as 'Big Trouble' on the first five minutes of the exam, broke through the trees right bellow them. Suddenly, he was glad for all the effort to not rest on a lower branch.

Fortunately, the trees ended because of the river, and so the troublesome team was forced to take the ground. Shikamaru was almost certain that they would leave, when suddenly the terrible three stilled.

…they had sensed someone, Shikamaru surmised, frowning.

Now very on edge, he pressed one palm over the mouth of both his teammates and pinched their nose. Thankfully, Ino's protests upon the instant wake-up died in her throat.

Choji was too groggy to say anything, but the blonde was a different story. She was all accusing and suspicious, giving Shikamaru her signature inquisitive look, but Shikamaru missed it completely.

The Sakura Haruno, the one whose tactless mention was enough to make local dragon Ino go completely quiet for minutes, had been discovered right underneath their noses. Shikamaru hadn't the foggiest how his ex-classmate had suddenly wound up there, but this definitely spelled trouble.

Glancing sideways, he noted that Ino's eyes had indeed acquired saucer-like proportions, fixed intently on the splodge of pink bellow them. Even Choji was wide awake all of a sudden. One of their classmates was about to be beaten up, and it was Ino's former best friend to bat. Why couldn't it have been Naruto? Or Kiba? Shikamaru pinched his nose with annoyance. As predicted, the three troublesome sound ninja were already verbally abusing Sakura and Sakura just stood there, stock still, without retaliating. If she didn't relent immediately, it would come to blows.

"Just give them the scroll, stupid!" Ino whispered hoarsely, and Shikamaru for once agreed. Sakura could look for some other team later, no big deal, specially with someone like Sasuke on board. Which begged the question where Sasuke and Naruto even were.

But Choji both negated Ino's suggestion and answered it.

"They want Sasuke," he explained tactfully, shaking his head. "The leader, that Dozu guy, said so while you weren't paying attention."

"What?" Ino exclaimed, nervously looking at Shikamaru for confirmation. Apparently she had been banking on a heroic rescue too. Shikamaru sighed, wondering at the sheer impossibility of Sakura's hopeless situation.

In reply to Ino, Shikamaru just shrugged helplessly. He was none the wiser than her. Defeated, Ino glanced back at her former friend, who just so happened to have mustered the courage to talk back and very cleverly put up resistance where she really shouldn't. Shikamaru had to think back to his father, who had scolded him for dragging out a hopeless game, just because so many defeats at Go gave him a bitter taste of his weakness, because admitting it was more troublesome than pretending. Sakura was horrible at pretending.

Eyes glassy with fear, she squeaked:

"If you take one more step, you'll regret it!"

"Sakura!" Ino gasped. "Has she lost her mind?!" And here Shikamaru had thought that the kunoichi had more common sense than Naruto did.

"She just chose the worst time possible to grow a backbone… what a drag."

The troublesome team seemed to be thinking along those lines, though their take on events was on the amused side of the spectrum.

"Please, bitch, you can't seriously think that's intimidating," Zaku chuckled, strolling forwards.

As if to contradict him, Sakura's hand lashed to her left like a dart, cutting the thinnest of wires, a deadly snare if Shikamaru had ever seen one. Before it could even be registered, Zaku was writhing in pain on the rocky ground, three shuriken imbedded in his flesh.

"She's using traps!" Ino exclaimed, shocked but elated all the same.

On the floor, Zaku coughed, probably trying to cuss.

"You fucking minx!"

Kin saved him the trouble and began throwing senbon as well as insults around, but Sakura wasn't there anymore. And thankfully, too, because Dozu's huge metallic fist would've smashed into her skull had it been otherwise.

"Sakura…" the look on Ino's face was like nothing Shikamaru had ever seen. By the tales which she like to weave, one would get the impression that Ino herself had cut off ties with Sakura due to her inadequacy as a friend, but Shikamaru was inclined to believe otherwise. He remembered how enthused Ino had been of Sakura as children, what good friends they were. (That was coincidentally around the same time when she had stopped hanging out with Choji and himself.) But now they were rivals, always fighting over nimieties. 'So troublesome, the both of them,' he thought, glancing between the two girls.

"Oi, Ino," he called, shaking the blonde. "Don't you want to help Sakura?"

Ino didn't respond, frantically glancing between him and the ground, looking helpless.

Bellow them, Sakura had reappeared a few paces to the right, most likely thanks to a last-minute kawarimi.

 **TWISTED**

Dozu, Kin and Sakura went at it again, just as Ino gave hyperventilating a go.

"I don't –" Ino chocked out. "…Sakura said –"

Shikamaru knew that look on her face. Ino was on the brink of completely losing it and doing something stupid, he realized with growing agitation.

"You're a mess," Choji stated worriedly, his voice soothing. Obviously gentleness wasn't going to work right then.

Shikamaru went for the more direct approach: "Just calm down, woman!" he hissed nervously, belatedly realizing that his method wasn't really working either.

"Sakura doesn't want me to help!" Ino wailed shrilly, and for a moment Shikamaru feared they'd be discovered.

"Yeah, that's what it looks like to me," he bit back, watching as she barely dodged one of Kin's senbon.

"Stop being sarcastic!" Ino yelled.

Choji, as usual, somehow managed to stabilize the situation:

"Ino," he said calmly, (Shikamaru marveled at that). "It doesn't look like Sakura's supper confident right now to me."

Ino shook her head stubbornly. "Sakura told me that she won't keep living in my shadow anymore. She doesn't want me to help!"

"Well… she can't keep living if she's dead," Choji pointed out very sensibly.

This gave Ino pause.

"Alright then, we'll help her!"

 **TWISTED**

But the situation down bellow had changed drastically in a matter of moments: Sakura had somehow managed to put a kunai to Dozu's neck, his whole body trembling but without moving an inch, as though he had been paralyzed by one of the poisonous herbs Shikamaru's father sold to the hospital. His facial bandages were soaked with blood, (by the looks of it, Sakura had chucked stones at him) and all in all he was in no position to defend himself. But not only _his_ countenance had changed: a fearless, borderline bestial look had entered Sakura's green eyes, and now the kunai pressed against Dozu's neck was steady.

"I said it already," she panted. "Don't take another step."

Team ten exchanged glances.

"Is that… Sakura?" Ino stuttered.

"Probably," Choji confirmed.

Shikamaru was just glad to be spared the trouble. Or so he had thought, until he took notice of Sakura's ramrod-straight back and clenched yaw. Her stance, he thought nervously, seemed unnatural.

Until the pieces clicked.

'She's bluffing', he realized. In Sakura's condition, there was no way she could have the stamina for another fight, specially since what gave her an edge was her cunning, combined with the surprise element, most definitely not her physical prowess.

'If Kin sees through her, it's over,' Shikamaru surmised grimly, glancing at Ino from the corner of his eye.

However, drenched in the heat of battle, Kin seemed to completely miss all the facts supporting Shikamaru's logic. (There was also the detail that Kin hadn't been Sakura's classmate and didn't get daily reports about her strengths and weaknesses from her rival.)

And so, the sound kunoichi made for a hasty retreat:

"Alright, cool it," she told Sakura placatingly. "No need to kill each other – we'll just hand over the scroll and leave."

Sakura didn't butch an inch.

At the lack of response, Kin seemed to regain her bite. "Oi? Are you still with me, little girl? Or are you too terrified to answer?"

But her taunts quickly quieted down when a trickle of blood began to ooze out of Dozu's neck.

"She's tightening her grip on that kunai…" Ino said disbelievingly. Clearly she hadn't thought such violent acts possible, coming from Sakura. Shikamaru found that the problem lay elsewhere.

"She'll need nerves of steel to pull this off…" he said, wondering at the true steadiness of Sakura's grip on the weapon.

Ino nodded. At this point, it was a battle of wills.

 **TWISTED**

Below them, the two kunoichi gazed at one another for long, dragging minutes, in which no one dared to move even an inch.

Finally, Kim seemed to reach a conclusion and broke the tension:

"A-alright…" she began again, her gaze analytical. "Dozu has the scroll. Just take it from his pouch right there…"

Shikamaru's jaw clenched. 'It's a trap,' he grimly thought. 'She's looking to launch an attack when Sakura crouches…'

And for a moment it really looked like Sakura was about to drop her guard and get down on her knees…

Even Ino squeezed her eyes shut in preemptive terror–

But, finally snapping out of it, Sakura seemed to make a conscious effort to square her shoulders and refocus. She now looked more grounded, though team ten was still on edge. However, Sakura's newly-found resolution didn't disappoint. Instead of letting Kin corner her into a compliant role, she took the bargaining into her own hands: "Do you have explosive tags with you?" she questioned brusquely, completely disregarding the earlier suggestion.

Unsettled, Kin nodded.

This seemingly completely irrelevant fact seemed to pump life into Sakura, giving her eyes a 'this is my desperate last resort' sort of ferocity. Her voice strong, she spoke again:

"I will let him go," here Sakura glanced at Dozu, "when I see an explosion over that tree." She pointed to the highest tree in the forest, one that ought to be more than three kilometers away.

"What?" Kin yelled. "And how do I know you're not lying, you little–?!"

But Sakura cut her off with a twitch of the kunai against Dozu's neck.

"Do we have a deal, Kin?" she inquired, her mind seemingly working only towards that one goal.

There was no more bargaining with her, and everyone seemed to realize this.

After a few seconds of reflecting in tense silence, Kin faltered and gave a curt nod to Sakura, taking an injured Zaku in her arms.

"I expect you to release him or else…"

Casting a last furtive glance at Sakura, she disappeared between the foliage.

 **TWISTED**

But Sakura seemed to be done playing with fire. One punch to the chin was enough to render Dozu unconscious, and shortly after tied to a tree. Sakura apparently didn't have any intentions to wait and see whether Kin would break the deal and return for round two before reaching the tree. She didn't take the obvious precautions, such as waiting with a kunai to Dozu's chin, but rather hastily began collecting scattered weapons and then dissecting an array of gruesome-looking traps.

Ino looked quite horrified by that point.

Even Shikamaru was a little appalled. If he hadn't known better, he would've thought that this wasn't his former classmate.

He had sometimes, when his father came home from the bar, looking tired and ashen, heard stories of war and how it changes people.

Seeing it depicted was different.

Shikamaru remembered the girl who argued with Ino, always with an answer for anything, no matter how stupid or pointless it may be, the preppy girl with pink hair and buried insecurities, the one with the annoying attitude in class, the teacher's pet who hated grime and sweat and sport, and yet thought that the way of ninja was a path of flowers and dashing romance… honestly, he had never talked to this girl. She had always been a two-dimensional character. Someone, who, in Shikamaru's opinion, was not worth his time. He found Sakura annoying and it was a drag that she had cut things off with Ino. She had hurt Ino, she was rude to everyone she judged as bellow her and simpered to anyone she deemed as powerful.

But that Sakura had nothing to do with the Forest's craft. This one had scared Shikamaru. He didn't want to become that.

Being a ninja was troublesome after all… he should've just flunked the Academy, shouldn't he?

Shikamaru sighed. He really didn't have the resolve for this sort of job. If he had ever been made to pick one thing that he and Sakura had in common, then that was it. They both lacked the resolve. Or so he had believed. He had never thought that a civilian like her would have the willpower to pull through.

And yet there she stood, incredibly beaten and bruised, her muscles quaking, her form hunched and pitiful, but against all odds, Haruno Sakura was somehow the last man, ahem, woman, still standing.

Troublesome.

(Shikamaru really needed to stop hanging around Asuma-sensei and his motivational speeches… he would not let neither teacher nor the teacher's pet influence him, he wouldn't.)

But his and team ten's collective attention was drawn back when Sakura, after disarming the genjutsu over a last pitfall trap, dragged herself over to Dozu's tree and began rummaging through his pockets. After a moment, her hand emerged victorious, an earth scroll firmly clenched between her fingers.

Following that, Sakura did two really odd things that not even Shikamaru had seen coming: she cast a genjutsu on the scroll and released a genjutsu on a shrub.

And then, to their open-mouthed shock (in Choji's case, potato-chip-dropping shock) after ruffling through the bushes, Sakura dug our both Uchiha Sasuke and Naruto, both passed out and looking worse for wear than she herself did.

For some reason, the fact that Sasuke looked like he had been thrown into a washing machine and then shaken dry really unsettled Shikamaru.

 _Whatever those guys encountered, it spells trouble._

"What a drag…" he told his team.

In case you didn't notice, Shikamaru abhorred trouble.

 **TWISTED**

There you go, guys. I'm really curious about your reactions to this chapter. There is the new POV change, after all. How did you like it? Do you prefer my fights-retelling to be in the classical by-the-book way, or rather like this time, when it's described from an outsiders perspective?

Anyways. I know many of you are probably on holidays now, so you likely won't have time to review. :( I can understand though, since I also really love to be on vacation! Anyways, have fun, guys!

PS. And about my favorite characters, I really must be predictable if so many of you were able to guess Kakashi, Itachi and Dhikamaru (specially after this chapter) right. I'm curious whether many of my readers have Sakura as a fave. Guess it varies.

Ciao!


	20. Under my Umbrella, ella, ella

She had made it. She had _fucking_ made it. She'd survived, she'd saved her teammates, she'd gotten the scroll–

Sakura almost couldn't _believe_ that she was out of danger and with all of her organs intact and safe, safe– _breathing_. Her arms were still trembling, her legs felt like jello and her brain like mush. It refused to compute, to process the fact that she'd been this close to dying, to failing her team— _again_.

That was the only thought capable of registering in Sakura's mind–but, after an undetermined amount of time functioning in autopilot, her thought process ventured to make a reappearance.

 _That was… intense_ , she gathered shakily, still trying to suppress the shaking of her arms.

Inner Sakura for once fully agreed with her: _Yeah… I don't know what those creepers wanted with Sasuke, but we fucking showed them!_

Sakura gave a shaky smile.

 _Yes. I don't know how we managed… but… they're gone now…_

(She was still having difficulty to even breathe. Those rocks had definitely not been a good place to hide.)

 _But that begs the question…_ she concluded with growing apprehension. _Where do I go now?_

 **TWISTED**

Carrying both of her teammates on her back and arms was hard, Sakura knew that she wouldn't last long like this. But to her utter mortification, she'd also realized that she had no clue in which direction the tower was. Granted, she now at least had the two scrolls team seven needed to pass (because the real one was still stored under a genjutsu in Naruto's rug-sack) but she had lost all sense of direction due to the run-in with Orochimaru. Even if Sakura were to wait for the sun to rise again (something which was bound to happen soon) in order to find the east, she hadn't been paying attention upon entering the forest and so she had no clue whatsoever in which direction they had been heading at the beginning. Sasuke was usually the one who took care of not getting them helplessly lost, meaning, Sakura was now rendered helpless and lost.

 _Just fantastic._

In these dark hours, she longed for company more than she did anything else.

Even Ino would have been welcome.

( _Very_ welcome.)

It was a thought she hadn't allowed herself to entertain for so long… but now that it was there, Sakura suddenly felt a pang of regret in her heart… but this wasn't the time nor place to mourn their lost friendship.

She glanced at both ends of the river, deciding that she'd just have to choose a direction at random and hope for the best. She'd had luck so far in staying alive, Sakura could only hope that it didn't dwindle now.

But after five minutes of continuous walking, she realized that she couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't bet so much on just luck. There had to be another way…! The sun was starting to rise and Sakura hadn't slept for practically two days – never mind that the day before the exam she'd barely gotten a few hours of rest. And if that and the two fights to death and the leeches weren't enough, the paralyzing toxins that had been in her system for hours sure accounted for an all-encompassing exhaustion. Sasuke and Naruto were too heavy for her, Sakura faced the facts. She couldn't keep walking, but she also couldn't stay where she was – who knew if Kin would choose to make a dashing return after reaching the highest tree.

But then an idea occurred to her.

Hurriedly, Sakura took out her only double-edged kunai, and, using the copious remnants of Kakashi's wire, tied it to a long , wooden stick which she'd found laying on the ground. After testing its stability, she attempted to fell at a tree with it, as though the stick were an axe.

The results were satisfying. It was nowhere near a perfect tool, but it would have to do for what Sakura had in mind.

Casting her eyes over the foliage that grew next to the river, she'd quickly realized that many of the small trees that colonized the area had fairly thin, if compact stems. It would do for what she needed.

And this Sakura got down to work. Felling trees was not something she had much expertise in, but now that she'd allowed herself a moment's rest and dropped both of her teammates to the ground, Sakura felt lighter and energized enough to at least be able to finish the task at hand. She had to sever more trees than she'd originally accounted for, take more breaks than planned, but Sakura had long ago passed the point of exhaustion. Right then she was just working on autopilot, her only fuel a deep craving for survival.

When she'd finally finished felling enough trees and chopping off their little branches, Sakura began fumbling with some of the last remainders of Kakashi's bigger rope, praying for what she had in mind to work. Gritting her teeth, Sakura began the arduous labor of tying the wooden sticks together, all the while thanking her lucky stars that Kakashi had made her learn how to tie and untie knots practically in her sleep. This and her altogether good spatial abilities made it possible to, after an unimaginable amount of strenuous effort, sweat and living on autopilot, industriously fabricate what could perhaps be called a raft.

Sakura was a tad nervous about the makeshift boat, making quick work of some stray wood to produce something akin to oars, but, after a bit more hesitation on her part she found herself dragging her two unconscious teammates aboard. She might not remember the direction to the tower, but Sakura was definitely sure that team seven had been going downstream (before Naruto had decided to have a plunge), and now, with a tired smile, she plopped down into her creation, trying not to think of leeches, water leakage or drowning.

 **TWISTED**

During the boat ride, which wasn't very eventful besides for the occasional steering, Sakura, now encouraged by her earlier success at crafting, took a bit of wire, her most cutting kunai, and one of Kin's stray senbon needles (which had at some point imbedded itself into her weapons pouch) and attempted to use the three as sewing tools in order to slightly modify her arm warmers into makeshift gloves: she had no desire to be killed by a paper cut _now_ of all times, and the chances she'd be forced to fight again and use Kakashi's poisoned wire were much higher than she felt comfortable with. Sakura was slightly surprised to find tons of sand (of all things!) stuck directly inside of her arm-warmers, which she supposed, explained why they'd felt so heavy when Kakashi had first gifted them to her back in the land of Waves.

 _Ah, those were times…_ thought Sakura, wishing she could be back there. Anything that wasn't the forest of death felt safer to her now, even if that meant Zabuza still being around. She had to wonder why Kakashi had gone through all the trouble of giving her sand arm-warmers of all things. Maybe they'd be better to stop blows? But no, anything metallic would do a much better job at that. Sighing, Sakura accepted that her teacher was just weird like that. Her arms suddenly felt much lighter, like she had more strength, and that was more than enough right then.

Frowning, she glanced back at the river bellow her, then at her makeshift gloves.

Using Kakashi's poisoned wire had already been a close call in the fight with the mummy man, Dozu: Sakura had realized that she couldn't keep on fighting, and in her desperation had begun to throw stones at him. The technique had good results, but not good enough for it had only startled Dozu enough to keep him at bay. But Sakura had then realized that she had to take an opportunity when she saw it.

Seeing his distraction, she'd inconspicuously drawn the dreaded wire, using it by (once again) making quick work of a few, well-placed knots in order to attach the poisonous, yet nearly invisible string to one particularly jutting rock. The rest had been easy. Sakura had subsequently launched the rock at Dozu , masked amongst all the others she'd thrown. Obviously consumed by the heat of the moment, Dozu didn't see the barely transparent thread and went for an easy avoidance. Once he'd dodged it, a triumphant Sakura had simply twisted the wire in her hands in a way that changed the projectile's trajectory, effectively cutting through Dozu's skin on its way.

 _Wow. We must be geniuses or just desperate to put all our hopes on a plan like that,_ Inner remarked.

 _I prefer the genius option_ , Sakura quipped, flexing her bruised hands.

She had taken a huge risk there, both by using the wire and by doing so against someone like Dozu, but if she had waited a second longer, he could've likely gotten her other ear with his sound attack – and _that_ would've been game over for team seven. As it was, Sakura had barely managed to stay on her feet back when she'd been trying to bargain with Kin. If she'd seen through the bluff, Sakura would've been a dead genin, and so would Sasuke and Naruto. Only thinking about it gave her the chills.

Poor Sasuke. Sakura had to wonder why everyone was out to get him. She glanced at his pale face.

Sasuke's condition was already critical as it was, specially because she hadn't gotten to him immediately after the fight, but instead many hours later. Splashing a bit of cooling water into his face, Sakura gritted her teeth reproachfully.

But, just as she was thinking this, the raft started to wobble. Scared, Sakura gripped onto her teammates, her muscles coiled.

Nothing happened.

(On the surface.)

One second later, two huge bulging eyes were coming at them, soon followed by a gleaming set of teeth and green scales. Sakura could only think 'aligator' and then she was off again. It was lucky that she had held onto Naruto and Sasuke, and lucky that she had at some point picked up chakra jumping, because the huge aligator actually chomped off the front of the raft.

 _What in the name of Hashirama?!_ shouted Inner. _That thing just ate our boat!_

Trying not to freak out more than she already had, Sakura gripped onto her teammates to steady herself. She was quite sure that normal alligators weren't supposed to go chopping off people's rafts, but then again, she didn't intend to find out what else this particular specimen was capable of. Fearfully, she pressed chakra into her feet and _just_ managed to land sidewards on a tree stem. Normal alligators also couldn't climb trees, but Sakura had already established that this particular one didn't fit into that category, and again, she wasn't about to wait and see, so she took off into the dark forest, once more forced to change routes.

 **TWISTED**

Now a new problem arouse: food.

When the hype over the crocodile slash mutant aligator had died down, Sakura realized that she was dying of hunger. She couldn't find anything substancial in any of Tran seven's rug-sacks (besides uncooked ramen in Naruto's) and she would imagine that both he and Sasuke were also rather hungry in their dreams.

In this event, Sakura was extremely lucky, because after only ten minutes of aimless walking, she somehow managed to stumble into a rather gruesome scene. Of course, the lucky part wasn't that she had found three dead genin from amegakure, but rather that they had been feasting on fried fish. There were enough to feed an army!

But her few hours in the forest had taught Sakura caution above all. She felt so ill at ease in her fear that this was a trap that she almost didn't dare to walk into the clearing.

Almost.

The tempting smell and specially the leeches clinging to the corpses' skin gave her courage, and so she took the risk. If those guys had died because of the leeches, most likely while they were fishing, Sakura figures that that meant that the probability of an ambush was substantially lower. Quickly, she sprinted into the camp, grabbed all of the grilled fish, stashed them into her bag like it was nobody's business and thereafter made herself scarce.

Energized by a combination of success and adrenaline, Sakura made it quite far on a death-sprint with her two teammates in tow.

Five minutes later, when she was absolutely certain that no one was following, (and absolutely certain that if she kept running like that she'd pass out) Sakura plopped down into some shrubbery and started scarfing down anything and everything she could get her hands on.

 **TWISTED**

Honestly, she had never enjoyed a meal so much in her life. The subsequent hour of rest was like a breath of fresh air to Sakura. She had been (and still was) tired, but now that she'd eaten, pooped and napped, she felt infinitely invigorated. Around noon, Inner informed her of the fact that, like all good things, her makeshift paradise of basic needs and no death situations had to come to an end eventually.

Sakura needed to get a move on.

 _Sasuke needs medical attention,_ Inner insisted. _And we don't even know what's wrong with Naruto. We can't get them help until we make it to the tower!_

And so, muscles aching, Sakura mournfully dragged herself out of her nice shrubs, teammates in tow, and resumed the trek to the tower, all while doing her best not to be spotted.

Her amazing luck held out until late afternoon. The feared ambush came when Sakura had already been seeing herself safe and sound. Or rather, it wasn't much of an ambush: three guys just up and strolled out of the trees. They wore very pointed hats and clutched matching umbrellas. The most imposing one had a scar that occupied almost half of his face, just in case Sakura hadn't got the message that he was bad news.

Immediately, Sakura tensed. It was too late to make a run for it now.

 _Damnit!_ she mentality screamed, tears pricking at her eyes. _We were been so close…!_

 _You can't be weak now!_ shouted Inner. _Stop crying or else they'll–_

But whatever Inner had meant to say was interrupted by a cocky voice – the leader with the scarred face was talking.

"Well, well," he began conversationally. "Would you look at that, The Little Red Riding Hood all alone in the woods…"

His two sidekicks snickered, eyeing Sakura as if she were a public joke. She could vaguely hear the goon on the right wheeze something that suspiciously sounded like 'wolf' and 'grandma'.

The leader trained his gaze back on her own.

"You know the drill Red Hood," he said flippantly. "Now we fight." His slanted eyes slid over to her injured teammates and then to his own, which still looked amused.

Sakura gulped.

 _This is bad…_ she realized, shuddering. _I can't possibly win this fight. I need to bail my way out, no matter what!_

"Wait!" she cried desperately. "I'll give you the scroll, just don't hurt my teammates!"

Everyone looked at the leader questioningly, who seemed to be considering her offer, a dark glint in his eyes.

"Alright," he agreed cockily. "I'll make a deal with you, Red Hood."

Sakura nodded to herself, her green eyes trained on his own unwaveringly.

 _I don't like that glint in his eye…_ she ascertained critically. Even so, Sakura hadn't much of a choice but to go along with the plan. Sakura would give him the fake scroll in her pouch. Even if he betrayed her, it was worth a shot.

 **TWISTED**

Carefully and without taking her eyes off the three ninja, she dropped both Sasuke and Naruto into a bush concealed behind a tree and then drew out the scroll.

She had glanced down at her bag for only a split second, but when Sakura peered back up and her eyes met with the slanted onyx of the leader, the Wolf to defenseless, little Red Riding Hood, she instinctually knew that he had no intentions whatsoever to keep his side of the bargain.

Like so many times already, Sakura acted before thinking: before she could even form a coherent thought, her feet had already propelled her forwards in a deadly jump.

Just a few milliseconds later, Wolf had began making hand-signs and suddenly a deadly shower of metallic senbon was coming at them from the sky.

Time seemed to slow while Sakura was in the air. As her hands closed in on each other for a hand-sign to retreat, Wolf and company's hands collectively shot upwards, to fist around…

 _The umbrellas!_

It was then that Sakura realized that a kawarimi wouldn't cut it, that only the umbrellas would be able to bid her cover, but her hands had come together in the handsign already and–

 **TWISTED**

–and I'm evil. I know you hate cliffhangers, but I needed to do a POV switch for next chapter, so I guess I'll be leaving it off with a bit of intrigue here. A lot of you have encouraged me about the POV change (thanks so much, guys!) and I have to say, I'm pretty happy with it myself. Actually, I'm probably gonna stick to Shinobi of the Hidden Leaf's suggestion about POV switching. My idea was that I'd show outside POV's on Sakura's fights every now and then, mostly because I think that's also very interesting, but also because, as a reader, I tend to get bored of the same fights layout over and over again.

For the big ones I'll of course be narrating from her point of view, but, for something like, say, Sakura versus Ino, I'd stick more to stuff that wasn't already mentioned in the anime, if you get what I mean.

Regarding the upcoming POV change, I have a feeling that many of you will like it, (it was seriously hilarious to write) although the spotlight will briefly move away from Sakura in the next chapter. You'll see what I mean.

Also, like Void Star Alpha has often told me, I've tried making this chapter a bit more descriptive (I'd actually written it ages ago, but I've been adding details) and I'm curious about what you think of this slight change in style. Anyways, that's it for today! Cya!


	21. The Stalker Siblings I

"C'mon Temari… it'll only be a moment…"

Temari, the steely sand kunoichi, gave her brother a critical look.

"Your facial paint will wash off, Kankuro. You're being irrational again."

"And you're being a party popper," Kankuro remarked sorely. "Look, we're in a forest where the most dangerous thing is a _genin_ , in softie-land Leafy, it's hot, and there's a river."

"So you decided to jeopardize our mission because you feel like taking a bath."

Kankuro visibly did not agree with his sister's take on things: "A river, Temari, a river! Do you know how long it's been since I last swam?"

"Since honored father's swimming lessons from before Gaara was born?"

There was a beat of silence, then:

"Yes!" Kankuro jumped out of his sweats. "I'm going in now," he announced. "And it's gonna go swimmingly!"

Temari groaned exasperately.

"Ah, like I care. It's on your head," she warned. "At least you'll make use of the swimming lessons."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "You could go in too, you know? Loosen up a bit, sis. What are you, a stiff grandma?"

Temari gave him a penetrating look. "I am not having Gaara return and find me playing ship in the river, Kankuro. If you want him to, then that's your problem."

"Brrrr! Stiff grandma! We might only get to do this once!"

There was another sudden silence in which Kankuro dipped a toe into the water.

"Ouch! It's cold!"

"Well what did you expect? This isn't a desert."

"This isn't a desert, bla, bla! Call me when you want me to watch over your grandson."

"Be quiet Kankuro!"

"Like you can tell me wha–"

Temari literally jammed her palm into his mouth.

The duo stood still and listened.

Footsteps were approaching. And it couldn't have been Gaara – there were three pairs.

Kankuro's eyes widened. Jumping upwards, he made haste to grab his stray clothes and then the two siblings relocated to the top of a tree, Kankuro still in his trunks. Just in that moment, a gust of sand blew into their faces and suddenly Gaara was stationed right behind them, less than an inch away.

Both Temari and Kankuro jumped, him nearly yelping.

Gaara's slate eyes turned to his bare form distastefully, clearly guessing what Kankuro had been up to (or not, one could never know in the face of his poker face) and narrowing with obvious contempt.

A loud shout redirected the threesome's attention to a familiar trio bellow them. The blonde boy a few meters away, who had just made a loud proclamation of his intention to subsequently urinate, was the same genin Kankuro had picked a fight with back on their first day in Konoha.

"Now the brat gets to bathe and I don't," Kankuro grumbled, moodily pulling his shirt over his head.

Down bellow, the pink-haired girl who had somehow managed to chastise them also on their first day was throwing a hissy fit.

Kankuro sneered at her sight. He had taken a great deal of time in the course of the past week to bad-mouth her, calling her a 'brattish know it all' and generally insulting her. Needless to say, the dislike had now been rekindled to its fullest.

Though most unsettling perhaps was Gaara's singleminded attention on the third member of the team:

"Uchiha…" he whispered darkly. It sent chills down Kankuro's spine.

Thankfully, in a clear attempt to divert Gaara's attention elsewhere, Temari spoke up:

"I think there's something in there – in the river." She frowned. "The blond one hasn't emerged yet."

Kankuro's eyes went wide like saucers, not unlike those of the 'brattish know it all', who had seemed to come to the same realization.

"Sasuke!" she cried shrilly, and said no more. But like a knight in shining armor, there went the third teammate.

"And he was so _hot_ …" Temari prematurely bewoaned his death.

Gaara's eyes narrowed to slits, all his attention on the river. Kankuro remained unconcerned:

"Look at Pinky," he jeered. "She's just sitting there crying. See? I told you! Suna kunoichi aren't like this. But that's Leafy for you, a village full of crybabies and brats. At this rate, our mission will take care of itself."

Gaara gave no sign of having heard him, but Temari entertained him with a "Done yet?" that clearly indicated that she was not impressed.

Just then, both teammates reappeared from within the water, covered in one of Konoha's signature dangers (Kankuro suddenly remembered Temari drilling all about 'flying leeches' into his brain – and had the urge to facepalm) while Pinky, whatever her name may be, proceeded to wail as loudly as possible.

"Way to burst our eardrums, crybaby."

"Maybe another team will come with all the noise," Temari suggested hopefully. "She might shut up then."

"The Uchiha is mine." Gaara pined them with a glacial look and then turned his gaze back to the riverbed.

Kankuro gulped and suddenly found himself wishing that no other team would be attracted because of the banshee-like screams. He really did. For their sake.

Apparently he had hoped in vain. After the Uchiha had managed to blow a huge fire current while trying not to choke under leeches, (here Gaara's eyes had gleamed even more unsettlingly) the (now face-swaped) genin team had been attacked by a huge sort of earthquake that sent them all flying. The gust was so strong that even the sand siblings had to scatter.

As soon as they were back together, Kankuro turned to his sister and gave an impressed (and cool, in his accountable opinion) whistle. "Wow, looks like it's not all softies in this place. What do you reckon that was, sis?"

Temari's eyes narrowed.

"A giant snake, Kankuro."

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "Didn't anyone tell you that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit and all that?"

Temari did not spare him a glance, absorbed in the scenery below. Kankuro had already opened his mouth to comment on her snappishness, when it fell slack at the sight: A humongous snake with humongous fangs and scales like hardened steel towered above Pinky and the idiot, as the sand siblings (read: Kankuro) had named them.

"Wait, is that actually Pinky or is it still the hengue?"

Temari rolled her eyes while somehow still eyeing the monster-dragon-snake terrorizing the forest. "The hengue."

Kankuro's forehead creased thoughtfully. "So the one who looks like Pinky is actually the idiot, right? And the idiot is actually Chicken Buttock…"

Temari turned to him exasperatedly. "Just… stick to naming your puppets, okay?"

Kankuro was not affected by her jab. Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, he whispered:

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you got the hots for Uchiha. I'll even be nice and upgrade him to 'Gloom Boy'."

Temari proceeded to give him the stink eye and was visibly about to counter, when suddenly a surge of intense blood lust made them both freeze in their tracks, slowly turning to look at Gaara.

Gaara himself was staring unblinkingly at the ground, where the idiot and Gloom Kid alias Chicken Buttock were waging a ferocious battle against the monster-dragon-snake.

"Wow…" Kankuro muttered. "There's Pinkies everywhere."

Temari just scowled at him, but hey, he was still surprised. Who would've guessed that the idiot had it in him? That ought to be more shadow clones than puppets there were back at his own house.

Of course, Temari and Gaara were both too preoccupied marveling at the dashing heroics of the Chicken's Arse to care. Ew.

But neither teammate had much luck: The number of Pinkies gallivanting around decreased in a drastic manner, and the snake's scales did not seem to mind the heat of Gloomie's jutsu too terribly.

And then it happened.

The idiot got swallowed.

It was a dumb mistake, one that could've been avoided easily (then again, you never seemed to know with the kid) and bam! suddenly Pinkie's lookalike had vanished down the snakes throat.

The sand siblings could still hear him scream from inside the snake. Temari winced.

Gaara looked on, impassive.

Chicken Buttock was everything but. He began attacking with a renewed vigor, trying desperately to free the idiot. He sucked in an enormous gust of air that almost had his chest popping and released the hugest and hottest flames which Kankuro had ever witnessed in the extent of his career. It was like a free ticket to hell.

But when the smoke cleared, the monster-dragon-snake was far from fried.

"It's throwing a hissy fit," Kankuro joked, but no one seemed to appreciate his pun.

Uchiha was panting, looking close to desperation, when all of a sudden there was a loud, hollering voice that had a sort of muffled quality:

"I'm not just gonna up and die! No way!" Kankuro's jaw nearly hit the ground: the voice was coming from within the snake! "I won't stop till I become hokage!" the rambling continued passionately. "There's no way I'll ever give up, least of swallowed by a freaking garden snake! Just you wait, Sasuke, I'm coming out, period!" Then, in case someone was still unconvinced: "That's my ninja way AND YOU BETTER _BELIEVE IT_!"

Suddenly, the snake started bulging, bulging, and bulging from the inside, and then it gave away, bursting into a mass of grime and scales, just like a popped balloon.

 _He's actually used shadow clones to blow it up from the inside._ The guy might be an idiot, but Kankuro could only say one thing:

"…kid's got balls." He nodded to himself. "Or wait… he's still under the hengue. That might be debatable…"

Temari cast a glance at him that spoke of a deeply-rooted annoyance and pain. "Wipe that lecherous grin off your face and pay some more attention to your surroundings," she bossed around coldly. With her eyes, she was pointing at Gaara.

Somewhat taken aback, Kankuro realized that _his_ bloodlust had reached near-stellar levels. Witnessing so much raw battle-power tended to do that to him.

"Well shit."

Down bellow, the fearsome twosome were actually feeling a very similar sense of dread, only for opposite reasons.

"Where is she? Do you think she's okay?!"

"How should I know?"

"Let's go look for her!"

Kankuro snorted, trying to play off how uncomfortable his brother was actually making him.

"Looks like Pinkie's disappearance has been made aware of to the idiot and the gloom boy," he observed.

As if on cue, Chicken's Buttock loudly spoke up: "Naruto," he instructed. "Clean that." He pointed at the yellowish grime that disgustingly covered Pinky.

His teammate gave him an incredulous look.

"Sakura's in danger and you want me to _take a bath_?! Are you out of your mind, Sasuke!"

Uchiha scrunched his nose up.

"What do you think was happening inside the snake, moron? That slime clinging to you are its most corrosive digestive enzymes. They're meant to kill you."

This gave the sludge-covered idiot pause. He seemed to be trying to wrap his head around the notion, to then suddenly begin shouting, frantically rolling on the ground and against the bark of a tree. The sand siblings' tree.

Up in the higher branches, the trio was enjoying the show. Or rather, Gaara was sneering derisively and Kankuro was on his knees laughing. Temari settled for a smirk.

While rolling around, the idiot gave another speech about wanting to save 'Sakura-chan' and summoned an even larger amount of clones.

"What, doesn't his chakra, like, end?" Temari wondered.

Uchiha also looked a little taken aback, but seemed to be more focused on the task at hand. Even from the tree, Kankuro could spot the change in his suddenly red eyes.

Uchiha might've been more quiet about it, but his determination wasn't smaller, he noted dully.

"We'll split up," Gloom Boy said. "Our main priority is getting to Sakura on time."

The gazillion Pinkies in the clearing nodded, chorusing: "Leave it to me!"

And suddenly the sand siblings were alone.

"These guys sure know how to make an impression," Temari commented.

Kankuro chuckled. "I swear they're like a horde of buffaloes: You can't just miss them."

Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"Let's go."

Their good mood, like so often with Gaara, crumbled to dusty sand.

Temari swallowed.

"Umm… maybe we should follow the river to get to the tower…"

"The sand here is wet."

At his objection, Temari looked at Kankuro helplessly. If Gaara followed the Uchiha, they might end up in the stomach of a snake, and that certainly wasn't a particularly desirable prospect.

"Look, Gaara," Kankuro offered tentatively. "This is like a challenge. See if you can make it to the tower with just the sand in your gourd?"

Gaara's dark-rimmed eyes narrowed at him. "Are you trying to insult me?"

Wide eyed, Kankuro shook his head.

Gaara glanced at the river.

"Let's go," he dictated again, but thankfully changed course.

 **TWISTED**

Writing this was hilarious. Seriously. I don't know about you, but I think this chapter's great to take a break from all the angst going on with Sakura previously. In case anyone is a bit lost, this scene takes place before the fight against Orochimaru (at the last bit Sakura would've already begun running from him).

I think it's quite nice, because, while Twisted centres around Sakura's character development, Naruto and Sasuke were bound to get some spotlight too. And as a bonus, we get the sand siblings' perspective from up close!

(In case anyone didn't notice, I'm happy with life right now).

PS: did anyone get my hidden Saiki Kusuo reference?

Probably not.

Cya!


	22. The Stalker Siblings II

But the Uchiha troubles were not over yet. They could've made it to the tower a long time ago, but somehow the sand siblings were still perched on a tree at its outskirts the next day. Kankuro had the terrible suspicion that Gaara was waiting to assault Gloom Boy when _he_ made it to the tower.

(Of course, Gaara did not seem to see it fit to share this information.)

But Kankuro was fine with his silence. As a rule, things went south when Gaara _wasn't_ silent. Rather than worry, Kankuro and Temari had been enjoying a most tasteful lunch without napkins… but then Gaara chose to open his eye again. This action normally wouldn't have been cause for concern on anyone else, but then again, this was Gaara. (His looks could certainly kill in the blink of an eye.)

"Have you found something?" Temari asked wearily.

(And additionally, Gaara could conjure a lurking eyeball to go looking around – most likely for the Uchiha.)

Gaara replied to Temari by getting up and taking off.

Kankuro wiped his fingers on his trousers and followed, right along with his sister.

Not a minute later, they all bore witness to a fight yet again, though this time it was the last member of the buffalo team, Pinky, in charge of the show.

"Wow, we really do get the complete set," Kankuro commented. "I was wondering whether the chick was still alive." He frowned thoughtfully. "Or maybe it's still the idiot with a hengue." In any case, Pinkie's teammates were not around.

"She doesn't feel like the other two." Gaara said deprecatingly. "She's weak."

Kankuro and Temari turned back to the clearing. Pinky seemed to be trying to buy herself a free pass with a heaven scroll.

"He's going to kill her." Gaara predicted, looking at an ame ninja with a strange hat, the leader of a squad of three other strange-hats. Kankuro found that the ninja and his old scar looked quite like an old coyote, or maybe a hyena, but his intenstines were churning too much for him to think of a more creative alternative.

From the side, Temari pinched her nose reflexively, and Kankuro got the distinct impression that she was not anxious to see an innocent little crybaby get murdered while doing her digestion. Kankuro felt similarly, though mostly because he wanted to kick Pinkie's arse himself of course. Gaara though, Gaara seemed to thrive on the scene.

Kankuro shuddered, looking back at the clearing. Bellow them, all hell had broken loose. (To be more concrete, senbon were plummeting downwards like a horde of random meteorites.)

Pinky had leapt into the air, her fingers coming together for a hand-sign when–

"Did she just switch places with that guy's _hat_?" Temari asked incredulously.

Kankuro looked back to the action.

Indeed, Pinky had avoided an immediate death at the hands of senbon by using kawarimi on one of the asshats' hats, and then proceeding to steal his umbrella. Needless to say, the unfortunate ame genin had lost both his hat and his life in one go.

Kankuro gulped.

When the leader of the group realized that senbon showers weren't the way to go, quite literally in this case, he switched tactics and started throwing them.

(Kankuro wondered if this was how Gaara would act were it himself taking the shower.)

Meanwhile, Pinky had resorted to deflecting both the Coyote and the remaining asshat's senbon with shuriken of her own.

After half a minute of a continuous back and forth, she had ran out of munition.

Temari's hands gripped around her fan, and Kankuro could tell that she was fighting not to look away. The other option was Gaara's face, so that settled it for Kankuro.

Pinky was still dodging, but barely. At some point, she started trying to move in a way that would allow her to pick up scattered weapons. She was clearly too tired to prolong such a risky tactic, and after sweeping up three shuriken and a kunai, she had to give her efforts up. But she did not give up her will: Pinky threw two of the shuriken at the other unnamed teammate.

"Her aim's crap," Temari said. It wasn't an insult, she was stating it. But then, then there was a twist.

Pinkie's fingers twitched, not unlike Kankuro's often did when commanding his wooden army – and suddenly the shuriken did a loop. This time they missed Asshat just barely.

"How did she do that?" Kankuro stuttered. "She can't be a puppeteer! That takes an insane amount of chakra control that a kid her age can't have!" (Of course, Kankuro was the exception of his generation, and he'd rather it stayed that way.)

But Temari was quick to disuade his worries:

"She's using ninja wire. Look." In the side of Asshat's face, right where he had dodged, there was a fine red line with a bit of blood trickling out. "That's the mark of a wire."

Ah. Kankuro's forehead creased. "She almost doesn't have weapons left. That won't work."

They watched in muted silence as Pinky's fight for survival continued. Pinky was religiously keeping her one kunai and shuriken by means of the wire, throwing them around like they were a boomerang. Of course, this radically limited her range, and neither her nor the other team seemed to accomplish much of anything with their efforts besides getting tired. (Pinky particularly looked like she had just walked out of a sewer.)

 **TWISTED**

Gaara had long ago lost interested in the fight and was now looking around, presumably for the Uchiha. But then something unexpected happened:

Asshat dropped to the floor, his pupils rolled inwards.

"…is he dead?"

"No," Gaara rasped, and Kankuro did not ask how he had come to such a conclusion. The old coyote seemed to have arrived to a similar one, because his gaze had become suddenly bewildered.

"You minx!" he screamed, lunging at Pinky with a kunai. Pinky on her part didn't stop to dodge gracefully, she outright ran away each time he approached. Kankuro had to wonder how Asshat's sudden KO had in any way been Pinkie's fault, as she had only managed to scrape him with the wire, not even with a kunai… but alas, Coyote didn't seem like the brightest puppet in the shed.

Though it came to a quick end: after a particularly close call, Coyote attacked Pinky head on, and this time there was no way out.

 **TWISTED**

Going for the worst counter possible, Pinky actually tried to stop him by gripping his hands with her own.

"And here I thought she might have a chance," Temari lamented, shaking her head.

There they were, the two wrestling figures: Coyote, with a kunai in both hands and twice her size, and …Pinky.

It became a contest of raw strength, each of them trying not to give in.

"How is she even holding out?" Kankuro posed the question on everyone's mind. "Her arms are _flimsy_."

The seconds trickled by and yet… Pinky was still holding her ground against a more and more exasperated Coyote. Their struggle was a silent one, though Kankuro could see beads of sweat building on both their foreheads.

Though it eventually became clear who was winning: Pinkie's arms were shaking from the exertion and her face was radish red.

She let go.

And what happened next would determine who lived and who died.

 **TWISTED**

Pinkie's fingers were coming together, inevitably to form a handsign, and Coyote's two arms were diving at her like two hungry vultures, the edge of the two kunai simultaneously turning inward to cause more damage. It would all depend on who was faster.

…or…

Which one of them had had their hands closer to Pinky.

Kankuro's eyes widened.

Since she had been gripping Coyote's arms from the inside, so as to turn away the kunai, that would be Pinky herself. But she was much more tired; even this advantage might not make a difference.

 **TWISTED**

However, the adrenaline normally associated with being about to be stabbed is also a deciding factor, and in this case, Pinkie's fingers met a split second earlier than the knifes did her stomach… and then she was off. She used kawarimi on Coyote's hat, again, and once on top of his head, Pinky jammed all her fingers into the two first things that might hurt him.

No one moved a muscle.

"…do they teach The Crane Points in Konoha?" Kankuro asked.

"No," Temari said. "I think she did it on instinct."

 **TWISTED**

Your thoughts? Do you know which part Sakura struck? It's kinda eww…


	23. Discarded Pride

Sakura shakily dropped to the ground, her cheeks pale and wet, her eyes glassy and wide.

This image, she knew, would haunt her.

It wasn't something she could look away from. She was too beaten to do anything. She just sat there, hyperventilating until she felt lightheaded. After a moment, she wiped off the grime splattered over her trembling fingers by means of the once beautiful qipao dress.

 _We need to get out of here_ , Inner Sakura implored.

 _I just want my mom_ , Outer Sakura wept desperately. _Please just let this end!_

Trembling still, Sakura crawled on all fours to the bush where Sasuke and Naruto were concealed and carefully pulled them out. All of this shrub-hiding had left them with quite the scratch canvas, but by this point Sakura didn't care. They were alive, period.

Sighing wearily, she turned to heave herself up and–

There was an expressionless face an inch of her own.

She nearly had a panic attack. Sakura knew that face. She wouldn't have forgotten it even in a million years. It was the pale, red-haired boy with eye bags so dark they appeared to be black and eyes so cool that they pierced. They'd only met once before, but Sakura remembered him alright.

"G-g…" she tried. _Gaara!_

"What happened to the Uchiha?" the sand genin demanded stoically. His siblings, as Sakura recalled the punk and the steely kunoichi, were both stationed behind him, observing Sakura with thinly-veiled concern. However, all the lack of animosity in their stances was made up by Gaara's increasingly threatening aura.

Sakura couldn't believe her immense luck. Or rather, lack there of. Had she really been sitting around for so long that yet another team had found her? After she'd just fought to the death? _Again_?

 _Why is it always Sasuke?_ a part of her wailed. She had not processed any of Gaara's uttered words besides 'Uchiha', but that had been enough for her. And so, she just helplessly crouched there, coiled into herself, staring ahead with a vacant expression.

Gaara frowned deeply; he was being _ignored…!_

Clearly trying to do damage control, his sister stepped forward. "Your teammate… Sasuke, was it?" At this the punk snickered, but she ignored him. "Did something… happen?"

 _Did something happen?_

The question echoed through Sakura's mind. She felt the compulsion to break out into hysterical laughter. _Did something happen!?_ her mind cackled wildly, disbelieving of the fact that someone would even need to ask such a question, and even more taken aback that she was still somehow around to hear it. However, Sakura couldn't get past the point of disbelief. Rational thought was somewhere far, far away, in an unattainable corner of her mind. There was a sort of block preventing her to think of anything that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours. She just… couldn't – _wouldn't_ go back there. Impossible. Eventually, Sakura answered with:

"I found an aligator."

There was a beat of silence.

The blonde's lips twitched, almost as though she found her serious answer funny, but then her slate eyes rowed over Sakura's bruised and beaten form and her countenance turned a tad ashen.

"Did it bite you?" She turned to the punk. "Kankuro, maybe she got poisoned?"

Kankuro scratched his head, his eyes robing over Sakura.

"Did the aligator bite you?" he repeated.

Sakura stared right back at him.

"It ate my boat."

Both siblings exchanged glances.

"You know that there are no boats around… right, Pinky?" the punk queried.

Sakura wasn't listening to them anymore. All of her attention had turned back to the increasingly impatient threat in front of her, Gaara.

His eyes spoke volumes of his disposition to maim and to kill; Sakura had been in enough fights against murderes to recognize the pattern. She tensed.

Apparently realizing that they were being ignored, Kankuro and company turned to look at their silent stare off.

"Uh… hey, Pinky, your scroll is still here. Oi. Don't you want those asshats' earth scroll?"

Sakura wasn't budging – no matter the distraction. And then, without warning, she'd suddenly leapt sidewards. Holding back an alarmed yelp, Kankuro realized that, in the exact same moment, Gaara's sand had burst forward.

"Woah. Nice reaction time." Temari yammed her hand over Kankuro's mouth, a silent warning to not disturb Gaara. She was shaking her head, her teeth gritted together, like standing back to watch the unfolding events was the last thing she wanted to do.

Meanwhile, a relocated Sakura was panting, staring at Gaara in the way a mouse cowers before a lion.

"Don't ignore me," Gaara demanded. "What happened to the Uchiha?"

"I-I don't know."

Gaara's smooth face contorted into an ugly grimace. "Liar!"

"I- I-"

Gaara's sand swept forwards like a tidal wave, this time successfully encasing Sakura's terrified 4'10 inches of flesh in a matter of seconds.

"It's the truth!" she shouted. "I had already passed out when he got hurt!"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. He seemed to be debating with himself.

"Liar," he accused again. It was said viciously and with conviction, but Sakura refuted it just as fervently:

"It was Orochimaru! Please, let me go!"

"The sanin?" Temari interrupted.

"Yes!"

"Lies, all of it!" Gaara tightened the sand coffin even more.

"I don't know why he's in Konoha, but he was after Sasuke!" Sakura yelled. "He even summoned a giant snake!"

This gave Gaara pause. "A snake?" he repeated darkly. Sakura nodded meekly. "I would've known if there were any giant snakes in this forest," said Gaara threateningly.

Kankuro and Temari exchanged glances. Gaara _knew_ there was a giant snake. They'd even seen Sakura's teammates fight it. Temari frowned, wishing Gaara hadn't been allowed to assist so many interrogations in the past. Unfortunately for Sakura, he knew every trick in the book, and seemed intent on using it on a genin.

Now Sakura was shaking her head, looking terrified. "I'm not lying!" she sobbed. "Orochimaru even sent his accomplices to chase after us!"

"Accomplices?" Kankuro repeated skeptically. "Who? The bald proctor?"

Sakura denied it mutely. "That Dozu guy…" she whispered. "Him, and Zaku and Kin… they tried to get to Sasuke too…" her incessant tears made the sand which trapped her become moist. "…they tried to hurt him," she chocked out, a fierce expression suddenly taking over her countenance. " _But we didn't let them. No, we **didn't**_."

Gradually, almost eerily, Sakura looked up at Gaara, whose eyes were now wide.

Kankuro looked at his brother uncertainly. "Gaara…? Oi, Gaara?" He made to put a hand to his shoulder.

But right then, the sand unceremoniously dropped Sakura to the ground, just as Gaara lashed out, his gaze boring into Kankuro's.

"Don't touch me!"

Both Kankuro and Temari leapt back, terrified.

"You!" he yelled at Sakura. "What are you?"

Sakura sat crouched on the ground, staring at his towering form.

"Why are all of you so interested in Sasuke!?" she retorted hysterically, outright weeping. "Why?!"

Gaara's eyes acquired a feral gleam, his fury replaced by malice.

"Because… I want to fight him…" he whispered. "I will obtain victory over him… and prove that my existence is worth more than his."

Temari clenched her teeth as Kankuro looked away.

Sakura's mouth simply fell agape with wonder. "You just want to fight him to see who's best? That's it?"

A dark smile stretched over Gaara's lips. "That's it."

Pressing her palms to the ground, Sakura heaved herself up.

"Help us, then." Her viridian eyes suddenly became intense, flickering in the twilight like two uncarved emeralds.

"Wha–?" Kankuro sputtered in the background, though it went unheard.

"You want to fight Sasuke at his best, yes?" Sakura bulldozed on. "But he needs medical treatment. Once in the tower, we'll have passed this stage of the exam and you'll get to go against him in the next one!"

Everyone took in her words with a certain amount of disbelief.

"Please! Just listen!" Sakura implored.

Gaara crossed his arms. "Are you trying to tell me what to do, little mouse?"

Sakura froze. "No!" She attempted to gather her wits. "Don't– don't let _me_ manipulate you, Gaara!" she exclaimed with conviction. "You just want to fight Sasuke, and he won't get to the tower if you get sidetracked by someone irrelevant like myself. So don't let me influence your decisions: make sure that he'll be able to fight you properly!"

Kankuro and Temari shared an incredulous look. Gaara glared ahead, thinking. The clearing was promptly drenched in silence and tense stares. Finally, Gaara glanced back at the tattered girl by his feet, then at his team.

"Let's go," he spat, and they followed.

Sakura stared after them incredulously. They were leaving her be? Just like that?

"What are you waiting for?" Kankuro asked tensely, looking at her. "Grab the Uchiha."

Nodding fervently, Sakura tiptoed towards her teammates, still passed out at the foot of a bush, and struggled to pull both along.

"Just hand them over," Temari offered.

Sakura shook her head, tying Naruto to her back and protectively clutching Sasuke in her arms. Then, hesitating only a moment, she swiped at her dripping nose and followed the most dangerous genin in the entire forest.

 **TWISTED**

When Uchiha Sasuke came to, he was in a brutal amount of pain. Someone was carrying him, and for a moment he thought that it was his Nii-san.

Like a stab to the heart, the name made him cringe.

"Sasuke?" That voice… it was Sakura's. The movement below him ceased, and Sasuke now clearly realized that he was being carried in a rather awkward position. By Sakura. Why was Sakura carrying him? Sasuke wanted to tell her to stop. What had happened? Where was Naruto?

"…me down…" he managed.

The simple action of talking tore through his spine and ribcage like a bolt of lightning, making him grit his teeth together.

Carefully, he was placed on the floor, a cool hand on his forehead. The footsteps around them came to a halt.

"Sasuke…" Sakura's voice sounded broken-hearted. He struggled to open his eyes.

At first glance, he realized that he was still in the forest, his vision was still bleary, though he could recognize that it was already past sunset, judging by the light. Sasuke figured that he must've been out for two hours more or less.

Sakura was in front of him, he could tell by the splodge of pink hair. Gradually, his vision became focused again. He squinted at his teammate, and then his mouth went dry. She was covered in bruises, cuts and grime. Her cheek was swollen, her left ear bleeding over the tattered remains of a familiar dress–

Sasuke stared at Sakura. His eyes bled into red, an incontrolable fury was bubbling up from deep within him. What had she gone through?

His anger took a darker tone, his neck suddenly swollen and hot, and then he was on his feet and demanding answers:

"Sakura. Who did this to you?"

Sakura's green eyes fixed on his red ones, but she didn't say a word, opening and closing her mouth like a stranded goldfish. Furious and in need of a let-out, Sasuke pivoted around, his sharingan latching onto–

"Sasuke, stop!"

– Gaara. _That bastard…!_

All of a sudden, Sakura was hugging him from behind, stalling his advance (when had he?) and making Sasuke become still again. Sakura was clinging to him like a leech, (bad memories indeed) her grip resembling a prison, and Sasuke realiced that she'd hugged him to stall his advance. He could feel her trembling, and suddenly he wondered which one of them it was that she was so afraid of. Gradually though, her vice grip began softening, just as Sasuke's anger quelled, and then Sakura let go of him entirely.

Sasuke glanced at her face searchingly. She was shaking her head, her eyes wide and terrified.

 _When?_ he thought. _How?_

Then Sasuke's eyes latched onto Naruto, unconscious and strapped to Sakura's back, and found that his clothes were also torn, and, though it was harder to spot bruises because of them, Sasuke suddenly knew that his other teammate hadn't been spared either.

" _ **Orochimaru**_ ," he spat venomously, making an extra effort to check his rage. Sakura appeared to share the sentiment, though her attention took to periodically wandering back to _him. Sasuke narrowed his ónix eyes._

Gaara of the desert.

He didn't know why somebody like him was suddenly around, but it couldn't mean anything good.

And that's when Naruto started stirring. First, the blonde yawned, like he had simply woken up from a long nap, then made a show of sniffing and sighing.

Sasuke stared at him blankly.

And then, without a moment's notice, Naruto's eyes had snapped open and were suddenly bulging out of his sockets. "Aaaggh! Run!" he shouted boisterously. "Get down, everyone! Snake Lady!"

Sasuke wondered how his ears could handle the constant abuse. Sakura, too, seemed to be thinking something along those lines, because she promptly yelled "There's no danger, you moron!" and dropped Naruto to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Lamented he. "My butt! Sakura-chan! What'd you do that for?" Naruto sniffed the air exaggeratedly. "Your hair smells so niiice!"

Gaara's team was looking at the blonde with varying expressions, ranging from distaste to hilarity. Sasuke tried to think of something other than his headache.

Sakura passed out.

 **TWISTED**

Even in her sleep, the image of Sasuke's twisted face – of the black marks marrying his skin – haunted her. Intrinsically, Sakura had understood that this… monster who had tried to fight Gaara merely minutes ago hadn't been the Sasuke she knew.

 _Why?_ She thought desperately. Did it have something to do with the mark he now had on his neck? Had Orochimaru put it there?

She tossed and turned in her sleep, slipping from one nightmare into the next.

The image of the senbon-nin, the Wolf, whose eyes she had gouged out, permeated into every corner of her mind.

In her dreams, Sakura wept.

 **TWISTED**

When she woke up again, it was to Naruto's loud voice calling her name.

She made some groggy sounds and salivated onto her chin.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! We're at the tower! Look! Look! The teme and I figured out that we have to open both scrolls at the same time!"

Sakura nodded, not following.

"Sakura," Sasuke voiced somewhere to her left. "Where are they?"

"Uh?"

"The scrolls."

 _Ah._

Sakura was at least lucid enough to understand that much. Her teammates had no idea where she's hidden the real heaven and earth scrolls, and it was not like they could open them to check. Now on the same page as them (and shuddering at what would've happened had Sakura not woken up on time) she braced her weight on Naruto to heave herself up and unceremoniously ransack his backpack. Relieved to have enough chakra to at least perform a basic 'kai', Sakura took out their still-concealed heaven scroll and then shuffled in her own pouch in search of Dozu's also-concealed earth scroll.Naruto pointed at the latter.

"But that's not–!"

"Dobe, kai."

Sakura tuned out the rest and was on the verge of falling asleep again when a puff of smoke startled her out of it.

 _A summoning!_ The cloud of smoke expanding through the room made it impossible to see what had been summoned, but the subsequent drawl soon made it clear:

"Looks like I won my little bet against Iruka… though I have to say, you guys are a little late."

Team seven collectively grinned.

Kakashi was placidly leaning against the tapestry, his familiar book and eye-crinkle-smile right in place. And his hair was wet, for some reason.

"Sensei!" Sakura cried, launching herself at him. This turned out to be a bad idea, or rather, a shared one, because instead of into Kakashi, Sakura and Naruto bumped right into each other – clashing foreheads and all.

 _Why, oh why, don't we wear our forehead protector_ , Inner shouted.

Kakashi had preemptively retreated a few steps.

"Ma, ma," he muttered placatingly. "Don't get too excited, kids. And here I thought you were having fun without me."

From somewhere behind the two, Sasuke snorted derisively.

"Fun?" Naruto exclaimed. "Do you think almost being eaten by a snake is fun?!"

"Scratch the almost, dobe."

"Or a crocodile!" Sakura screamed.

"Or leeches!"

Again from behind them, Sasuke irritably remarked: "We get ambushed by a sanin and you complain about the leeches?"

Everyone froze as even Kakashi went stiff. "A sanin, Sasuke?"

"Oh, he's talking about the weird snake lady!" Naruto cleared everything up.

"He means Orochimaru," Sakura said quietly. Everyone looked at her. "Sensei," she began. "Orochimaru… he… he did something to Sasuke… he's got this weird mark on his neck, and–"

Kakashi now stared very intently at thee of them. One moment he was still moseying about, the next he was firmly holding Sasuke in place, his visible eye wide and alert. He examined Sasuke's neck lividly.

"You two, get some rest. I'll be back." And just like that, he and Sasuke were gone in another smokey puff.

 **TWISTED**

So… new chapter and end of the forest of death arc! I'll probably be updating a new special about it soon, which I invite you to check out in the Twisted Guide under my works.

This chapter was plenty eventful, with strange things happening such as Sakura messing with Gaara's head, or even a little bit of insight on Sasuke's POV. I remind you that this story isn't Sasusaku, but that doesn't by a long stretch equate Sasuke bashing. I hope I've kept him in character. ;)

As for why Kakashi's hair was wet, or even why he was summoned to begin with, why, I'll let you puzzle that out!

Cya!


	24. Over yet?

Any sleepiness which Sakura may have had in her system was gone. By the way Kakashi had acted, whatever had befallen Sasuke was bound to be really serious… she stared ahead numbly, following Naruto's lead down the dark passages of the tower.

 _'Get some rest'? Yeah, right!_ She huffed. _How are we supposed to sleep like this! We'll be worrying the whole time! Is Sasuke going to even make it through the night?_

"Well, well. Would you look at that!" Putting on hold her inner complaining, Sakura lifted her head numbly. The trio of genin in front of Naruto and herself were…

 _Oh, yeah. Our ex-classmates._

She couldn't bring herself to care.

"Looks like even a moron like you somehow made it," the former class pariah, Kiba, and only rival to Naruto in shouting-matches, condescended forlornly.

 _Just what we needed…_ Inner complained.

"Oh, yeah?" Naruto shouted back. "Well I bet you guys just got here! Believe it!"

 _Where does Naruto even find the energy?_ Inner asked woozily. _He's supposed to be dead on his feet. Like any other sane person._

Though from his spot in front of them, alive and kicking Kiba exchanged glances with both his teammates and grinned, as though he had meant for that question to be asked since the very beginning.

" _We've_ been here for _two_ days," he bragged cooly. "If it were for me, we definitely shouldn't have been forced to wait in this damn tower for so long…" he laughed wolfishly. "I mean, even someone like you made it here. The proctors must be getting soft."

"What?!" Naruto exclaimed. "I bet you guys just got lucky! You sure as hell didn't have to fight killer leeches, huh?"

Sakura nearly face-palmed.

 _That's seriously the only think he can think of?_ Though mentioning the killer _sanin_ probably wouldn't be a great idea either…

Kiba scoffed.

"Hah," he said. "We didn't get attacked by leeches, we used leeches to attack. Not a soul stood a chance against our trap!"

Naruto gaped.

"See?" Kiba remarked. "That's the difference between us. Just face it, Naruto. You'll never, no matter how hard you try, become hokage. Why? Because I will!" And then he began to laugh and laugh, gesturing for his team to follow as he swaggered down the corridor. Shino, the boy with the eerie sunglasses, remained unnervingly quiet, observing Naruto inquisitively. After a moment, he then made to follow his teammate. Sakura was already preparing to move down the opposite direction, when a new, feeble voice, spoke up:

"D-don't listen t-to Kiba, Na-naruto-kun…" a tiny girl amended timidly.

 _Hinata Hyuga_ , Sakura vaguely registered. She had always avoided relating to her back at the Academy, and if Sakura was being completely honest, that was probably because Hinata reminded her too much of herself as a child.

Before meeting Ino.

Sakura didn't need anyone to rub her former weakness in.

"K-kiba-kun d-doesn't mean it…" Hinata stammered quietly.

Naruto just squinted at her. Had she just tried to co sole him?

 _Who knows? Maybe she isn't so bad after all…_ Sakura concluded..

 _Hell, she almost seems almost too nice, if you catch my drift,_ Inner agreed waspishly.

 _I think her kindness is genuine,_ Sakura replied sadly. _The vipers in my group back at the Academy would've destroyed her._

Inner shrugged, unconcerned. No wonder she always stayed on her own then.

Either way, both Sakuras could agree on the fact that Hianta's apologies were appreciated, but honestly, she had other teammates to worry about rather than Naruto's damaged pride.

"That's okay," Sakura said calmly, because Naruto was stuck just staring at Hinata and she did want to be nice. "Nothing Kiba might tell Naruto will ever really affect him; after all, he's passed this thing just like anyone else. Who's to judge?"

"H-huh?" Hinata stared at her, her gaze wide eyed, and Sakura briefly wondered what about her statement could have surprised her so much.

 _Oh, yeah. Naruto's still supposed to be the class loser._

Inner mentally smirked. _Huh. Then it's about time these guys got a status update._

In front of her, Naruto grinned, his upbeat expression back to usual. "Yeah, yeah!" he exclaimed. "You can tell Kiba that I'll beat him any day!"

Hinata observed him raptly, her pearly eyes slightly wide. "I-okay, …Na-naruto-kun… I'll let him kn–"

"Cool! And tell him to remove that stick up his ass. When he does, he can find me, and then we'll _talk_!" He cracked his knuckles in demonstration of his idea under 'talk'.

"I'm not sure w-whether…" Hinata began saying. But whatever she wasn't sure about was cut off by a new, shrill voice that came from the corridor Kiba and Shino had just left through.

"Forehead girl!"

Startled, Sakura turned around. Ino and company were striding right towards her, looking much healthier and uninjured than team seven did by a long stretch. Sakura could've drawn many conclusions from their appearance, like how all of her applying classmates, the rookie nine, had passed the second exam, or how her rival had passed, but honestly, right then she was just incredibly relieved to see Ino, rivalry be damned. Sakura couldn't help the smile lighting up her face. "Ino!" she exclaimed.

 _Hey! Tone it down a notch!_ Inner commanded. _She's our rival!_

Reigning her happiness in, Sakura harrumphed, striding up to team ten. "How have you guys been?" she asked breezily, a terrible attempt at nonchalance.

Instead of answering, Ino appeared to be too livid surveying her severely bruised and damaged figure (Sakura now terribly regretted her approach) so the other integrants of team ten felt obliged to respond in her place:

"The exam was a drag…" the boy to Ino's right, Shikamaru, stated sullenly. Sakura couldn't remember anything about him from her Academy days besides his name. The other teammate though, Choji, was renowned for his extreme eating tendencies… _that_ much she could recall. (It was rather hard not to with the bag of chips he was loudly munching on.) Choji, who had been at the receiving end of Sakura's owlish stare for a tad too long, felt in need to comment on the rookie nine all passing between chews. It was inconsequential information, and Sakura found herself simply nodding along robotically.

"Hey Sakura, where's Sasuke?" Ino interrupted. "Did he ditch you?"

Naruto chose that moment to jump into her defense: "That's none of your business, Ino! Leave Sakura-chan alone!"

Sakura sighed. For once, she got the feeling that Ino's invasive question had carried no bite whatsoever. She was just concerned, and Ino was not exactly known for beating around the bush.

"It's fine, Naruto," Sakura amended tiredly. "Ino's not trying to be rude."

Naruto squinted at Ino suspiciously, then tugged at Sakura's elbow, as though imploring her to just leave already. Sakura sighed wearily. She could understand the sentiment, though she did feel the need to make it up to Ino somehow. "…do you know where the bedrooms are?" she questioned finally.

Shikamaru began explaining how to get there, but Ino interrupted him with a peevish: "C'mon, we'll just take you."

 **TWISTED**

The subsequent walk was an awkward one.

Naruto kept glancing back and forth between Sakura and Ino, as though terribly confused about something, Shikamaru wouldn't stop muttering as he rubbed his temples, and Ino was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Hey, Pinky!"

Sakura startled, looking for the source of the voice, which ought to be Kankuro, from the sand siblings.

Before she could spot him, a mass of sand grabbed her and _swept_ her off her feet. Naruto shouted in outrage, and, amongst the chaos, Sakura still somehow managed to hear Ino's frightened gasp. But the chills running down her spine kept her from focusing on anything other than the terrifying face inches from her own. Gaara had lifted her with his sand, again, and now had her helplessly hover inches away from his threatening countenance, again. At this distance, Sakura could easily distinguish little specks of blue and green in his irises, and the morbid eye-bag situated right under of them. She gulped, her throat closing up.

 _Please, please, please let me go…_ she begged with her eyes, as she could hardly breathe, never mind talk. But Gaara himself had no reservations to speak, and apparently he was in the mood for threats:

"Don't forget…" he rasped quietly, chillingly, "the deal we made." Sakura's eyes became even wider. _Sasuke!_ But Gaara wasn't done terrorizing her yet. Drawing even closer, he dropped the final bomb: "I want the Uchiha," he whispered. "To take his life."

And then the sand promptly dropped Sakura like an old sack of potatoes. Shocked, she stared at the redhead, an uncontrollable feeling of terror betrayed by her bulging eyes. She desperately looked over at Kankuro, or Temari even, searching for anything to latch onto, any cue that this was just a cruel joke… but Sakura didn't like what she found. Their expressions were grim, stoic, set firmly, and she knew instantly that she had made a mistake in trusting them. Gaara didn't just want a friendly spar… he wanted to kill Sasuke! But what other choice had she had but to ho along with him? Sakura took an apprehensive step back, and then another, gazing vigilantly at the sand siblings until they – Gaara – took their leave.

"Sakura…?" Ino quietly called her name, looking just as bothered as she felt. "What was that? Are you okay?"

"Hey!" Naruto yelled in outrage. "I thought those guys were on our side!"

Shaking her head slowly to clear her thoughts, Sakura attempted to explain that the situation was more complicated than that, that she was fine, and not to worry, adamant in her refusal to repeat Gaara's words out loud. Inwardly was another story though. His ominous declaration wouldn't leave her alone. Sakura needed to prevent a confrontation between him and Sasuke at all costs. She had seen what Gaara was capable of. He was beyond terrifying. Sasuke couldn't fight him. They were in a complete different league. She needed to talk to Kakashi. Sensei would know what to do. He always did.

"Sensei!" Sakura gasped shakily. "I – I need to speak to him!"

"But he just left…" Naruto trailed off uncertainly. "He's gonna be late for sure, Sakura-chan."

"This is important, Naruto!" Sakura spat. Turning to Ino, she interrogated: "Where is he? Do you know?"

Unsettled, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji exchanged uncertain glances.

"There's a shared room for all Konoha applicants," Shikamaru replied slowly. "Your best bet is that he'll be inside. If not, one of the jonin there might know something."

Sakura nodded. "Let's go then."

Ino eyed her oddly. "You've sure gotten bossy lately, Forehead."

Shikamaru snorted in the background. Sakura, too, saw the irony, but she limited to chuckle wryly. "Not really, Ino… it's just… this is really important."

"What? What did that Gaara guy tell you, anyways?" Suddenly, Ino leered at her suggestively. "Though I gotta admit, Forehead, I wasn't expecting you to give up on Sasuke-kun _that_ quickly, Read-head is also quite the catch. He seemed a bit possessive though."

 _What. The. Hell?_

Sakura gave Ino a borderline maniacal stare. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with that."

Ino frowned. "Then what is this about?"

Sakura shied away from her gaze uncomfortably.

 _Ino knows perfectly well that something's wrong,_ Inner accused. _She's just trying to weasel information out of us._

 _Or maybe she just wanted to lighten the atmosphere_ , Sakura defended tiredly.

"Ino." Shikamaru interrupted, shaking his head. "Let's just go."

 **TWISTED**

Team Kiba was already in the room for Konoha applicants, along with another team, a smoking man and… Sakura recognized her instantly. The ruby-eyed woman. The one from the hot springs. Back then, she had hinted that she was aquatinted with Kakashi, or in other words, she might know where to find him! Tossing aside any embarrassment or reservations she might've had, Sakura bolted to her side.

"Where's Kakashi-Sensei?" she interrogated breathlessly.

The woman, who seemed vaguely intrigued by her sudden appearance, glanced around with apparent bemusement. Everyone in the room was staring at them. Sakura ignored this detail for the time being, her eyes drilling into the woman's.

"Where's Kakashi?!" she repeated abrasively.

"With your teammate," the woman answered.

Sakura stared at her disbelievingly. "I need to talk to him now! It's _about_ my teammate!"

"He should be in shortly," the woman supplied after a pause. "And you should rest."

Sakura couldn't believe this chick. "I said it's IMPORTANT!" she grit out, her eyes filling with tears.

Suddenly, a strong pair of arms began shaking her as an even stronger voice boomed:

"Such passion! Such dedication! You must be the worthy kunoichi my eternal rival has taken under his wing!"

Startled and slightly overwhelmed, Sakura examined the source of the commotion. The one shouting was a spandex-clad individual with prominent features and enthusiastic body-language.

 _He looks kind of familiar…_ Inner analyzed, scanning his green jonin west and matching clothes.

 _Impossible_ , Sakura countered uneasily. _I would remember this… man. Even from just passing him by in the street._

Out loud, she dizzily tried to articulate a question without seeming like a total moron. "Uh… have we met?"

Naruto, who had somehow managed not to scream in the past ten minutes, decided that this was his grand moment:

"That's Bushy Brow's Sensei, Sakura-chan. He showed up a few days ago!"

Sakura didn't know who Bushy Brow was, although Spandex Man certainly fit into the description. But then she followed Naruto's gaze to a corner of the room, where a team (the team that had been feigning weakness back before the first exam) seemed to be ardently discussing matters. By the looks of it, an exact mini replica of Spandex Man was about to make some sort of grand proclamation while his teammates. mainly the girl, desperately tried to dissuade him from it.

 _Whatever!_ Sakura thought, turning away. _This has nothing to do with Sasuke!_

"But where is Sensei?" she insisted, looking back into the woman's infuriating, red eyes.

Spandex Man seemed eager for conversation, because he was quick to answer in her stead:

"Worry not! My eternal rival will no doubt return upon short notice!"

It took Sakura a moment to piece together that Kakashi was in fact Spandex Man's eternal rival.

 _I'm not gonna ask,_ she decided resolutely.

 **TWISTED**

Alright, new chap. More of the rookie nine have shown up, along with their respective jonin sensei. I hope you found it interesting, despite the lack of action. Heads up, guys! Next chapter we'll get Kakashi's POV!


	25. Kakashi’s Job Description

When Kakashi bolted back to the assigned room for Konoha applicants, he was relieved to find the two remaining members of his team being cared for by Asuma, Guy and Kurenai.

"My eternal rival!" Guy joyously greeted, "you look winded!"

Somehow, Kakashi found, Guy seemed a bit too eager about that. Somewhat annoyed, he leveled Guy with a deadpan stare, but hurriedly proceeded to look away when the flamboyant man tried to turn it into a staring contest.

"How are Naruto and Sakura?" Kakashi nervously asked instead.

Kurenai looked up with a start, as though surprised that he was showing concern for his team. Clearly she didn't know Kakashi very well. Asuma, however, took his inquiry in a stride.

"Naruto seems fine," he drawled, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. By his feet, Naruto was snoring as loudly as ever while scratching his bottom. Kakashi deemed his condition acceptable.

"What about Sakura?"

"She'll live, Kakashi," said Kurenai with a shrug, patting the crown of her bubblegum-pink head. Kakashi glanced over at his other student, who lay passed out in a sprawl over the floor. He hadn't noticed earlier how badly Sakura truly looked – worse for wear even than after her encounter with Zabuza; though she thankfully didn't seem to have any head injuries.

"She doesn't look so well…" Kakashi assessed slowly, glancing at Kurenai out of the corner of his eye. Asuma chuckled uncomfortably, slinging an arm around him.

"Ah, come off it, Kakashi. The worst thing she had was a dislocated elbow; kid'll be fine."

"Not until I've looked at them with my sharingan."

Guy laughed out loud. "Aw! My eternal rival is so dedicated! But beware Kakashi, for I shan't be defeated in this aspect of…"

Kakashi tuned him out, looking over his students thoughtfully, sharingan ablaze.

Naruto seemed to have some strange chakra fluctuations. Though it was not a pressing issue, Kakashi wasn't sure whether he could fix that problem himself…

Blearily, he realized that Guy had been mid-proclamation when he started his sharingan-based examination, now likely awaiting a reply.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Sputtering in comical outrage, Guy proceder to dramatically face-plant on the floor and then started another proclamation about "Most hip and cool behaviors exhibited by you, Kakashi!"

As per usual, Kakashi ignored him and turned his sharingan to Sakura. She didn't have chakra exhaustion, which was a relief, though its flow was still strangely urgent, as opposed to her usual near-nonexistent circulatory fluctuations. From her head injury at Wave, Kakashi knew that Sakura's chakra was usually stagnant, hence why she was so good at manipulating it. But not now. Now it was all over the place. What was going on? Was she under a genjutsu? Kakashi frowned, clueless. No, she wasn't, he would've spotted it were that the case. Could she be pumping so much chakra because of adrenaline, he wondered. It should've worn off already, but then again, maybe Sakura was having a nightmare or something. Kakashi decided that, whatever Sakura had, it wasn't a pressing issue either, likely to be solved off its own. Still, he'd monitor her condición. But as for Naruto… He wasn't so sure about his seal though… if Orochimaru had tampered with the it, they'd all be in trouble…

 **TWISTED**

Sakura woke up roughly twenty three hours later.

She could tell that she was lying on a stack of old pillows, probably in a corner of the room for Konoha genin, though she felt too drowsy to check.

"Nice. You woke up," said a voice to her right.

Surprised, Sakura opened her eyes. Kakashi was lounging right in front of her, looking nonchalant as ever.

And that's when Sakura realized… _Sensei's back!_ She was so happy that she grinned to an almost crazed degree, bolting upwards into a sitting position.

"Sensei! You came!"

But her joy was short lived. As soon as she remembered Sasuke, Sakura's expression fell.

"How… is he?" she then asked subduedly.

Looking up from his book, Kakashi smiled and gave her a thumbs up. "You'll find him in perfect health. He and Naruto even had an argument already."

Sakura looked at him with something akin to wonder. "But how? His condition was terrible!"

Kakashi patted her head. "No worries, Sakura-chan. He's in the hall, if you feel the need to check."

Sakura stared at him. "Wait. You don't mean for him to participate in the next stage of the exam, do you?"

Kakashi scratched his head. "Why ever not?"

Sakura got up jerkily, not believing her ears. "Because, Sensei, a crazy psychopath is after his head!"

Kakashi chuckled, decidedly not giving her concerns the deserved importance. "Do elaborate on that," he offered merrily. "And feel free to sit down again."

Grudgingly, Sakura complied, resolutely opening her mouth as she thought of all that she had to tell Kakashi-sensei.

But–

"…I can't!" she chocked out suddenly, wild images racing through her mind. "I…" she thought of Wolf, lying on the ground with bleeding holes in his face… of the sound team, of the corpses with leeches feasting on them, of Oroch–

( _Nononono–_ )

"Sakura-chan?"

Sakura grabbed her hair wildly, pressing her palms against her eyes, rocking back and forth desperately as she began hyperventilating.

"Sakura-chan?"

She lifted her hands from her face, sullenly facing Kakashi. "I… I can't talk about it!"

"Can't or don't want to?"

Sakura cringed. She knew she had to, for Sasuke, for team seven, but at the same time… she just couldn't open up about what had happened in the forest, about what she herself had done. She just _couldn't_!

"I don't want to talk about it," she repeated.

Kakashi placed a hand on her head. "No one does." She sighed. "But, Sakura-chan, you need to speak up. All of it is relevant, despite what you might think. You said Sasuke's in danger? Do you think Orochimaru will come back?"

Sakura's downcast gaze fixed on a spot on the wall. Not talking about what had transpired in the forest was shellfish of her, she knew. She knew that she had to, even if she wanted to put it all behind her.

Deeply sucking in a breath of air, Sakura chanced another glance at Kakashi. "I don't know about Orochimaru, but, by psychopath, I meant Gaara," she said hesitantly.

Kakashi quirked a brow. "You think he's a threat?"

"Definitely."

"Care to elaborate?"

At that, Sakura went stiff as a board. Kakashi sighed. "I take it you don't want to talk about it either."

"I really don't."

Frowning, Kakashi scratched his head. "Sakura-chan…"

"I know I have to, okay? I just…" Sakura made a strangled sound in the back of her throat, furious with herself. Tears of frustration were prickling at her eyes.

"It's, er, fine," Kakashi amended quickly, before Sakura could actually start crying. He seemed quite clueless so as to how to deal with the situation at hand, what with crying girls not being exactly his line of expertise. "Uh… Sakura-chan, be calm… please?" he tried hesitantly. She wasn't listening. Kakashi took another approach. "Sakura, listen, no one's asking you to talk about it, least of all me," he promised, to which Sakura luckily seemed to pay more attention. "I just want the intel," consoled Kakashi, looking uncomfortable. "Do you know what I do, when I don't want to talk about something with my superiors?"

Sakura glared at him through puffy eyes. "You don't."

"And besides that?"

"You make stupid excuses everyone knows are lies."

Kakashi smirked covertly. "Maybe so, but do you think I also lie to the Hokage?"

Sakura snorted. "You're liable to do anything, Sensei."

"Please, have a little more faith, Sakura-chan…" he muttered with embarrassment. " _Maybe_ , maybe I've lied to the Hokage at some point, but not when there's a mission at stake…"

Sakura sighed. "Your point being?"

"My point being that I have to open up to the Hokage, who is not exactly going to try and coddle me when it comes down to asking about the details."

Sakura frowned. Kakashi was right. At some point or other, she'd have to deal with the Hokage's scrutiny too… She shivered. She didn't even want to think about what that sort of situation entailed…

"But how can you posively cope with that?" she deflected weakly.

Kakashi seemed to have been waiting for the question. "Why, I write a mission report."

Sakura quirked a brow. "So?"

"It beats having to narrate everything in person."

 _Detached, cold…_ Sakura looked up firmly. _Exactly what I need._

"So you want me to write a report about the forest of death?" she queried, regaining the strength in her voice. "Did the Hokage put you up to this?"

Kakashi went silent for a moment, pulling a standard issue handbook out of his pouch. The pages were blank. "I said have a little more faith, Sakura, now where is it? Look, I'm not asking you this just because Konoha's survival depends on this intelligence," ( _No pressure there_ , jeered Inner,) "I'm asking this of you for your own sake, Sakura." He scratched his head idly. "Sooner or later, you're gonna have to tell someone what's on your mind to help lighten the burden," Kakashi looked really serious as he said that, "and believe me when I say: the sooner, the better."

Sakura frowned. Her teacher sounded as though he knew what he was talking about. He _must_ know. The man was, after all, an elite jonin, and Sakura had not exactly forgotten how he'd nonchalantly faked being sliced up into smithereens on her first true mission, apprehending two dangerous ninja as he went. What to Sakura had been a horrible experience that had scared her to death and made her clumsily twist her ankle, to Kakashi had all just been a breeze. Yes, thought Sakura, Kakashi definitely knew what it meant to maim, what it meant to kill. She shivered, suddenly scared of this very man, this man she'd trusted with her life. Nevertheless, she pressed on:

"When did _you_ talk to someone, Sensei?"

How much time had he passed suffering in silence, until, finally, incessant nightmares and guilt had made him cave?

Kakashi sat in silence. The he said:

"I'm not the most indicated person to talk with, and I get that maybe you don't want to share this with me, but until you get home, you should at least take a moment to pen everything in. It'll help."

He passed her the notebook. Sakura barely felt the rough, green cover slide under her fingers. She could only think: _Sensei didn't answer me, he's avoided the question!_

Sighing, Sakura glanced at Kakashi wearily. She almost wished she hadn't asked, for now she knew something about him she would rather not. Kakashi was always so nonchalant, so flippant. He might look like a human, but Sakura had never realized that he perhaps had human worries and fears. She didn't want to realize this. Not now. Not ever.

She glanced back at the notebook. The cover was a standard issue green, with a rough, paper-like texture, small enough to fit into her weapons pouch. The navy blue Konoha crest right in the middle reminded her a little of her Academy days. Who would've thought that Kakashi carries around a notebook like this? He seemed earnest about giving it to her, about his suggestion to confide in it.

"So… you want me to write about the forest, huh, Sensei?" said Sakura. "Shall I give this to the Hokage once I'm done?"

"If you can manage it."

"Hm."

Kakashi frowned.

"But will you? Write, I mean. About how you felt and things. You don't need to show that version to Hokage-sama."

Sakura smiled theatrically.

"I'll pour my heart out."

"Good," said Kakashi, "knock yourself out."

Laughing, Sakura saluted. "With pleasure!" she exclaimed, trying to appear at least slightly cheery about the prospect.

Kakashi saluted back. "Now that's what I like to hear. Take your time, make the Hokage wait. You are my student after all."

Sakura returned his smile feebly, clutching his notebook. Sensei understood her, didn't he?

"What did Sasuke tell you? Did you make him write a report?" she asked huskily. "Or Naruto?"

"Naruto was eaten by a snake, I really didn't want the details.".

"Sorry Sensei, but nothing beats having an aligator feast on your boat."

"Now that sounds like a story," said Kakashi placidly. "Where on Earth did you find a boat?"

 _I thought he was going to ask about the aligator, but that's Kakashi for you_ , drawled Inner. Laughing at the joke, Sakura airily said:

"Oh! I built it." She shrugged offhandedly. "You know how it is, what with leeches everywhere and such, one needs to get creative."

"And you found an aligator."

"Yeah. Or rather, it found the boat – but I managed to get us out in time. You know, before it started munching all over the prow."

Kakashi scratched his masked cheek. "That sounds fun."

Sakura glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She thought briefly, then resolved to ask the question:

"Ne, Sensei… do you judge people?"

Kakashi put a hand to his chin thoughtfully.

"People?" He seemed to consider this. "I do, just like they will inevitably judge me." Here he surreptitiously glanced at his side-pocket, where Sakura suspected a certain orange book was kept.

"Oh, I see…" she said glumly.

 _He'd be disgusted by me then. I gouged Wolfe's eyes out. His eyes! I bet Sensei hates people who do that! I mean, he has a huge scar over his left eye and…_

"Huh?"

Kakashi was waving Icha Icha in front of Sakura's face tauntingly.

"I make a point not to judge shinobi though," he commented once he had her attention again, his eyes crinkling.

Sakura couldn't help but gape.

"I gouged someone's eyes out!"

 _…oops_.

The words had slipped out before she could stop them. Gasping with horror, Sakura pressed her palms over her mouth, her own eyes wide. He was now there, right before her. The senbon-nin, her fingers coated in muck, the hollowness…

Kakashi looked at her silently, every second of his wordless stare turned minutes, hours. Sakura grit her teeth painfully, holding her breath.

Finally, Kakashi spoke, his gaze vacant:

"I've done worse, Sakura."

And Sakura believed him. She had known, on a very superficial way that he must have, but she had t been prepared to hear the admission. Kakashi's voice resounded in the silent room, resounded in Sakura's core, echoed on in her brain.

Worse. Worse. _Worse_.

Sakura retreated shakily, staring at Kakashi with widened eyes. There it was again, the fear of someone she trusted so dearly. Kakashi himself remained perched at the foot of her makeshift bed, the colorful novel still in his gloved hand. He seemed to understand the urgent need of an explanation, and this time it wasn't about his being 'lost on the road of life.' No. Just this once, Kakashi would speak about a different road – the path of shinobi.

"Every jonin you know, Sakura-chan," said Kakashi, "– the hokage included – they've all done worse. Way worse." His black eye examined her speculatively. "Will you judge them for it?"

Sakura felt sick.

"How can I not?" she breathed weakly. "It's disgusting!"

Kakashi looked at her intently, his eyes obscure and revealing nothing. Ever so slowly, his hand extended to his side, retrieving a shuriken from his pouch with practiced ease, to then wave it in front of her nose.

"Sakura-chan, what is this?"

The textbook answer was…

Sakura pondered over it briefly. This was better than thinking of Wolf.

"A shuriken," she recited, "literally meaning 'hidden hand blade' is a concealed weapon which is most often used as a hidden dagger or metsubushi to distract or misdirect. They are supplementary weapons to our katana or kunai, although they often have an important tactical effect in battle. The art of wielding the shuriken is known as shurikenjutsu…" Here Sakura stopped to take a breath. She continued more wearily: "The edges are often sharpened, so that they can be used to penetrate skin or open arteries…"

Sakura cut herself off, grimacing, the image of the senbon-ninja not leaving her. His eyes… her fingers…

Kakashi spun the shuriken in his palm.

"Shuriken are weapons," he summarized. "Sakura-chan, do you know what a weapon is?"

This time, Sakura didn't fall back on the textbooks.

"It's a means to an end. It's a tool used for violence, it's…"

"–a shinobi," Kakashi completed. "Do you know… why I don't judge shinobi?"

Sakura shook her head mutely, though she had a feeling that she didn't want to.

"It's not a shinobi's job to judge, Sakura," Kakashi said bleakly, his single eye fixed on her. "We remain within the scope of our rules. We are tools." Kakashi returned the shuriken to its holster, now examining the sharp edges thoughtfully. "Rather than judging a shinobi for his actions, Sakura-chan, you should look at the hand that holds the strings. I've said it before, and I will say it again: a ninja should always seek to look underneath the underneath."

Kakashi scratched his head uncomfortably, probably ill at ease with talking for so long.

"I'm not a tool…" Sakura muttered, horrified.

"No," Kakashi agreed. "Konoha shinobi tent to do that."

Sakura stared at him, her viridian eyes wide and moist, disillusioned.

"Are you a tool?"

Unexpectedly, Kakashi chuckled and patted her head.

"Tools aren't late to their meetings, now are they?"

Sakura smiled.

"I guess not."

 **TWISTED**

Hiya! What did you think about this chapter? Was it too heavy?

By the way, in regards to issues with the update-notification link… I'M SO SORRY! Listen, I've done everything I can to fix this, composed a detailed email to fad fiction support, tries changing some things, but nothing will work and support isn't answering. If you have any ideas I'd be grateful if you shared them with me. And please, please don't stop reading my story just because the system is broken. Even if you get fake update notifications… I publish a chapter every Friday. If it's not on Friday or more than one chapter, then it's not me. I hope I've helped clear up some of this confusion…


	26. Is It Right to Fight?

_Haruno Sakura_

 _VS_

 _Ino Yamanaka_

 **TWISTED**

The next test which awaited the applicants would be a preliminary round of matches, after which the candidates could finally return home before the beginning of the chunin exam's last stage in one month's time. Before Sakura realized what had befallen her, she found herself gathered in the tower's large room right at its middle, along with all other passing chunin candidates, their jonin Sensei, proctors, and even the hokage.

Sakura gritted her teeth. _All of them, here to see us battle it out until unconsciousness_ , she punctuated sardonically. _To judge us for our ability to inflict damage._

And so the preliminaries began.

 **TWISTED**

The first few matches went by in a blur for Sakura. Sasuke had already fought and beaten his opponent, one Yoroi Akado, and henceforth, before she could even attempt to quell her now assuaged worries over Sasuke's fight (and her budding concerns about her own), it was her turn.

Against Ino.

And she still hadn't gathered her bearings.

"I'm not ready to fight again…" she muttered quietly, panicking in silence. Her concerns weren't of the physical nature; simply put, she was not mentally prepared to engage in serious combat again, never mind in a fight against Ino, with the stakes so high – on top of the recent realization that she wanted to salvage their friendship.

"'course you're ready, Sakura-chan!" Naruto assured her boisterously. "You'll beat Ino no problem! Believe it!"

"Maybe."

 _But do I want to? Am I ready?_

Giving her a nudge, Kakashi patted her head, and then, in a rare display of fondness, took her hand. But like everything with Kakashi, there was a reason behind his actions. Slightly startled, Sakura realized that he had tucked an object into it.

"We never are," he limited to say.

Sakura looked up at him, her brow creased.

 _I think I'm starting to understand your cryptic remarks, Sensei_ , she thought, wishing she didn't.

The object he'd given her was not a weapon – in her state of mind, she had little use for that. No, what Kakashi had given her was far more crucial to her survival: it was her shinobi hitai ate.

And that's when Sakura realized that she'd have to fight against Ino– her best friend, her one rival – and she'd have to do it as a shinobi.

 _I will never be ready to win… not against Ino…_

And then she thought of Kakashi's answer. 'We are never ready'. And for once, his criptic encouragement did have a point, for…

 _We are not ready for the trial, it's the trial that makes us ready._

She glanced at the forehead protector, which had the proud symbol of Konoha, the statue of the Will of Fire, engraved right into the center of its polished surface. She might not be ready to win, but…

"But I am ready to try…" Sakura offered, smiling reminiscently.

"You sure about that?" Kakashi teased. Sakura seriously hated his humor. Ignoring him, she looked back at the arena. Then at her team.

"Sasuke, Naruto," she pleaded nervously. "If Ino-Pig mops the floor with me, promise you won't judge me."

Naruto squinted at her. Sasuke actually snorted. "Guess you'll have to mop the floor with her then, won't you, Sakura?" he surmised unabashedly.

A bit surprised, Sakura grinned.

 _That's what we needed to hear,_ yelled Inner. _Shanaro! Let's get this thing going!_

Heads held high, Haruno Sakura strutted downstairs without a backward glance.

 **TWISTED**

At one point in her life, Sakura had loved to imagine what it would feel like to finally see her face reflected back at her from the polished surface of a hitai ate. Her own hitai ate.

She had gotten there now.

That hitai ate was hers now.

"Ready to lose, Forehead?"

 _But now what?_

Sakura considered Ino, all poised and ready, then her own blurry face reflected back at her. Her red, sexy dress was in tatters, she had a swollen cheek, her manicure was ruined. Sakura's fist clenched around the piece of metal in her hands. Coming to a resolution, she swiftly tied the hitai ate around her head.

"This Forehead is going to beat you," she remarked cockily, gesturing towards the proud Konoha symbol over her eyes.

Whether Ino saw the resolution burning in her gaze and understood her desire to fight, not as rivals but as kunoichi, or whether she simply tied her own hitai ate on as a cool gesture, Sakura would never know. But she had an inclination.

"Let's do this, Pig!" she nevertheless called out.

Ino's cerulean eyes became focused. "Yeah, let's."

 **TWISTED**

"So sorry, Kakashi, but my bet is on Asuma's kid," Kurenai intoned speculatively.

Guy of course came to Kakashi's rescue without missing a beat: "My money is on my eternal rival and his talented student!" he declared brazenly.

Kakashi chuckled. "Looks like you're on the right side of the bet for once, Guy."

Guy's prominent eyebrows made a show of shooting upwards, slightly startled. Kurenai snickered. "I'm sorry?" she queried in mock outrage. "Ino is obviously the right choice. I mean, she's the clan heir here! No offense Kakashi, but there's nothing outstanding about your kid besides the hair color."

"Careful, you're going to hurt my feelings one of these days."

Asuma chuckled, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. "About that… no hard feelings no matter whose student wins, eh, Kakashi?"

"You know I'm a soft man," Kakashi replied helpfully.

By the point Guy had launched into a speech about the Qualities a Man Must Have and thus the remaining jonin instructors had all but turned their attention back to the match unfolding down on the arena below, rather unlike their respective students a few paces away.

"Listen closely guys, because Sakura-chan is going to win and you better believe it!" Naruto proclaimed resolutely.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes at him, looking at Choji for help, then back at Naruto and Sasuke, the newest arrivals to their lonesome corner of the balcony. "Is there any reason why you've come all the way here to tell us that?" he asked, rather annoyed.

Sasuke settled for ignoring his general surroundings and watching the match, while Naruto remained more vocal about his opinions: "I'm just telling you what's gonna happen!" he shouted. "Besides, Kakashi-sensei's probably making bets with your sensei about it too!"

"That's not what teachers are supposed to do, Naruto," Shikamaru replied drolly, thinking to himself that they were so making bets right then.

"Hmp! You're boring!" Naruto declared, clearly disappointed at Shikamaru's lack of interest in a shouting match.

The real match, in that aspect, was not as one sided: Sakura and Ino were quite busy slandering each other's reputation as they circled one another like vultures ( _Kaguya knows there is no such thing as a rival fight without trash talk!_ )

Meanwhile, up in the jonin-part of the balcony, everyone was watching Ino's verbal victories over Sakura (and her own feeble attempts at replicating Ino's jabs) with no small amount of pity and subsequent furthering in their conviction that the Yamanaka heir would be the indisputable winner of the match. Finally, the ominous circling was put on hold and the real fight began – almost completely based on taijutsu. It wasn't even that, for neither Ino's – and less so Sakura's technique was in any way refined. As it was, both opponents were practically left exchanging blows in a methodical fashion.

"I suppose," said Asuma as he scratched his cheek, "that the pressure of their first time's getting to them."

Basically, he was justifying what he must've thought to be a slightly lacking performance on Ino's part.

"Your kid should be accustomed to pressure though, shouldn't she, Kakashi?" asked Kurenai curiously, the Wave incident no doubt on her mind.

"Not this kind," said he without much interest. "This isn't exactly a good time for Sakura to be duking it out."

Asuma snorted, though the rest of the jonin remained in silence. The fight down bellow was still in full swing – actually, it had only become harsher, and dirtier, as both parties were doing anything they could think of to end the match quickly.

"They're both tired," Asuma noted.

"No wonder," agreed Kurenai. "They've been exchanging blows for… what? Almost ten minutes nonstop now?"

Suddenly, Kakashi gave a start, as though overcome by a realization.

"What is it?" Guy questioned.

Kakashi leaned against the railing again, a frown etched on his face. "I focused Sakura's training on the optimization of tools and weapons…" he said slowly.

"So… precision and aim, huh?" stated Kurenai. "Sounds like you."

"Or maybe…" Asuma gave Kakashi a measuring glance. "Traps?"

"Both, as it happens. And I just realized…" Kakashi nervously spun a shuriken in his finger, "that Sakura has likely no weapons left besides for a wire."

There was an uncomfortable and slightly disbelieving silence.

"That is, uh…" Kurenai trailed off awkwardly, clearly looking for a way to nicely phrase how completely unintelligent it was to enter a fight without your main asset. Even Guy seemed at a loss. "… that is, um, not very like you," she concluded.

"It slipped my mind," informed Kakashi agreeably. "I was too busy contemplating my students' fight against a certain friend of ours."

The lull in the conversation came to an abrupt halt. Everyone knew very well who Kakashi was alluding to. But he wasn't done yet. Unruffled, he waved a tiny, plain green notebook in front of their faces, but said no more. Guy snatched it open, Asuma and Kurenai huddling around him to read.

"But this…" breathed Kurenai, "this is your student's account of what happened! In the forest! Aren't we intruding here?"

"Sandaime-sama has issued an order that all jonin or above directly involved in the coming event must be made aware of what happened inside of the forest," recited Kakashi ominously. "I trust you won't speak about this to anyone – not even your students."

The other three nodded, their eyes widening as they quickly scanned the loopy, feminine calligraphy on the paper.

 _P.S.,_ _Sensei_ , it read, (a final note apparently had been added at the beginning). _Please report about this to Hokage-sama yourself, in your own words. I don't want anyone else to see this note._

Asuma, Guy and Kurenai stared at Kakashi, Kakashi stared at the match.

 _So you wanted me to tell you what happened in the forest, no details left out, right? the note continued. I'll try._

 _Everything started off normally enough, with mundane threats such as the leeches in the river. (Naruto, the moron, jumped in and I told him not to but he was already inside and then Sasuke pulled him out and he caught the leeches too and then I remembered that they're weak against heat and Sasuke blew them away with a katon jutsu.)_

 _But then something bad happened: we felt a presence. They had concealed themselves below us, and we nearly missed it. Sensei, this person was so stealthy, I swear it could've been you! But no, it was this creepy woman who blew up the ground and made us scatter. I was confused and couldn't see what was going on, but then I felt this really intense fear and something told me to run, so I did, and the woman was chasing me. When I looked back at her, we locked eyes and in that split second I swear I saw her kill me. As I sprinted out of there, it was a struggle just to pull my mind away from replaying that over and over. She chased me through the forest, and no matter what I did or how hard I ran, the woman was right behind me, calling me her prey and other creepy things. I used your wire and a genjutsu to try and block her path in a sudden series of attacks, but she contorted weirdly out of the way – as though her limbs and neck were made of jello and no joints. And I'm a terrible idiot, I know, but I just wasn't looking, and I forgot everything you said about your wire being poisoned, so I lowered my guard and got a tiny cut in my pinky. That was the last nail in the coffin to my downfall; I'd cornered myself. This time, for sure, I was done for. The woman caught up to me, and soon it became apparent (I wasn't thinking clearly so I didn't realize this at the time) that who she really was after was Sasuke, and she must've thought I was him because of the hengue on me (we'd all swapped faces so as to avoid an intruder miming our personalities). But that's when Sasuke came in my rescue. He shouldn't have. He could've just stayed hidden in the trees, he's smart, he knew I was in mortal danger, but he cane for me anyways. I know the Hokage sure would've preferred me to be the one Orochimaru (yes, the sannin) focused on – don't tell him I said that – but instead, even though it was my own mess, I limited to lay pathetically on the ground, unable to so much as move or help Sasuke or do anything. The worst thing was Sasuke's fight. I felt so terrible. It didn't matter how many times Iruka-sensei had complimented him at the Academy, I knew right then that, no matter what he did, Sasuke would be killed and then I would be too. As if to confirm it, Orochimaru made a summons, and I realized that I'd die at the hands (or scales) of a snake the size of my own house. Just as my vision had started failing me, Naruto butted in. At first, I thought he was just being a stubborn moron as usual, but he brought hope. He stabbed the snake, stopping its advance singlehandedly, but then Orochimaru did something to him and he started free falling. I only remember throwing a kunai to attach him to a tree so he'd stop. Thank Kaguya you taught me how to throw kunai without thinking, I was at the verge of unconsciousness._

 _When I woke up again, I couldn't move and the fight was over. I pumped some chakra and saw that Naruto was still out stuck against a tree and Sasuke lay unconscious an with a terrible fever. I knew I had to get us out of there ASAP, but the paralysis made it impossible to go very far. I cast a genjutsu to hide us (I'm sorry but I think you would've deemed it inadequate – but I was just so tired!) and then I ser some traps all over the place. Orochimaru's lackeys found us anyways and it was my fault, 'cause, after hiding Naruto and Sasuke, I gasped and Dozu figured out my hiding spot. The fight against him, Kim and Zaku was horrible. Zaku I maneuvered into a trap, and I was able to dodge most of Kin's attacks thanks to the special training you put us through before the exam, but dodging didn't cut it for Dozu: his attack was a sound wave, and I swear if he'd hit me one more time it would've been over. But I managed to get him with the poisoned wire (thanks to some rocks) and use him as leverage against Kim so she'd go away. After that I built a bot and some gloves, and then I ate something, and then I got into another fight. These guys tried to kill me with senbon showers. One of them was… he was… one was… killed when I dodged an attack, the other hit by the war, and I jammed the last ones eyes in. I still can't get that image out of my head. I think I was in shock, because I failed to notice the approach of another team until they were threatening my life. Or Gaara was, anyways. I knew that he and Sasuke had some kind of rivalry going on, so I persuaded him to, instead of killing me, escort us to the tower in order to have a match against Sasuke when he recovered (but now I've discovered that he wants it to be a death match!). The worst thing is that after we started walking together, Sasuke woke up with these horrible marks over his face, and I could tell by that ugly, cruel look on his face that he wanted to murder Gaara. I was so repulsed that's I wanted to puke on his head. I tried to hold him back, and I thought Sasuke was going to hurt me too but then he stopped._

 _Sensei. You need to remove that mark. It's branded him, like cattle. It makes Sasuke a stranger, cruel and cold, and I'm afraid of what might happen if he gets to solve his unfinished business with Gaara. You need to pull him out of the exam! But no, of course you won't. Sasuke's gonna participare or die trying. I mean, he could attend in half a year, but of course participating now is totally worth risking his life over._

 _Pull him out, Sensei._

The jonin fell completely silent. Down bellow, the match was still raving on.

"Say, Guy," Kurenai hastily looked for a topic to change the horrible mood. "You are the best at taijutsu from all of us, why don't you analyze the figh–?"

"Why THANK YOU!" Guy boomed into her ear, making poor Kurenai wince, just as Asuma gave her a pitying look. Clearly he was a little too eager to leave the silence behind. "As it happens," Guy carried on, "I am the most indicated person to ask in this room, provided that what you seek is to explore the hidden depths of taijutsu!" He concentrated back on the stage. "It appears that my rival's student's rival has the advantage in technique! However, fear not, Kakashi, for your student makes up what she lacks with brute force!"

"Ah, thank you Guy. I think that's enough."

Guy's mouth fell shut with a clack, some sort of deep understanding entering them. "I can see that you are busy fretting for your student, my rival! I shall not interrupt such deep introspection!

Kurenai peered at the pair, doing her best to suppress her laughter. Asuma wasn't fairing any better in his attempts not to choke on his cigarette. The only clue that Kakashi had even heard his self proclaimed rival was the prompt twitching of his hands, now hovering over his side-pocket. However, pulling at some hidden form of inner strength, the man resisted temptation. It came to be that Kurenai reached a milestone in her speculations on the mystery that was Hatake Kakashi's psyche when his student wound up trapped in Ino's jutsu. Asuma, who had until then not offered his opinion, allowed a smirk to cross his face. Kakashi's hands twitched again, though cataloguing his expression proved difficult, especially given the considerable obstacle that was his mask.

 **TWISTED**

"So what does that jutsu do?" Naruto queried uneasily.

Even Sasuke seemed a tad distraught ("what's Sakura just standing around for?") but the members of team ten were less than impressed.

Shikamaru sighed, bored. "Your teammate's not in control of her own body right now, Naruto. You see, Ino is, and she's gonna use that to make Sakura forfeit the match."

"WHAT!" Naruto yelled. "She can't do that to Sakura-chan! That's cheating! No way!"

Shikamaru wished he'd stop shouting.

"Look, Naruto," he muttered. "I wasn't sure at first about who was gonna win, but Ino knew how to play her cards better, so now your teammate's done for. It's a drag, but that's how a match is decided, now accept that or–"

"YOU CAN DO IT SAKURA-CHAN!"

 _Ugh_.

Shikamaru slumped into the railing.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura felt a terrible pressure in her head, as though someone was trying to squeeze a balloon inside. Ino had used her own hair to catch her in her secret clan jutsu, and somehow it hurt, it felt like treason. But then Sakura realized something else. Everything she had gone through, every single stop of sweat, hour of work, every year, it would all be for nothing if she lost now.

"I…" she could hear her own voice talking dully. If she was able to speak, that meant that's she was pushing Ino out of her mind. "I…"

 _I forfeit!_ screamed every inch of Ino.

 _Never!_ said Sakura. And then, loyalt, she bellowed: "I'M NEVER GOING TO LOSE AGAIN! NEVER!"

 _I Won't LET YOU!_ Inner Sakura shouted, growing increasingly confident as she stared the intruder down. _I won't give up! Now GET **OUT OF MY HEAD!**_

And Ino bolted, the strange sensation leaving an uncomfortable pounding in Sakura's skull but her thoughts no longer hazy.

She was free, she realized shakily. She was free of Ino's mind control.

Ino seemed to realize this too, judging by the dumbstruck look on her face.

 _Now's my chance!_ Sakura thought avidly. This time, she realized, she was ready to fight with every trick in the book, even if the outcome would be the defeat of her friend. _Time to set a trap!_

 **TWISTED**

"She just freed herself," Asuma stated blankly.

"Now _that_ is most youthful!" Gai cheered. "Such raw fighting spirit is commendable, is it not, my dear rival?"

His remark went largely ignored.

"But how?" Kurenai interrupted Gai's subsequent shouting, sharing a wide eyed glance with Asuma. "Only those very proficient in the mind-arts can free themselves of that jutsu with so little chakra to spare."

"Well, I did teach her a genjutsu," Kakashi informed happily from his spot next to a raving Guy.

Kurenai smirked. "Oh, yes, I know. The fake shuriken illusion, was it? Not a bad start, that's for certain, though Sakura still has a long way to go."

Kakashi's answering face looked a little too smug right then.

"What?" Kurenai asked, now annoyed.

In return, she received one of her favorite bland smiles behind the mask.

"I never taught her that," Kakashi explained slowly, clearly enjoying her now dumbstruck expression. "Just the mole-hole illusion."

This time it was Kurenai's turn to go blank-faced, but Kakashi was unrelenting in his childish gloating:

"It appears that pink hair is underrated…" he added all too happily.

Kurenai rolled her eyes.

"Dully noted, Hatake."

But without warning, there was suddenly an explosion of smoke in the arena, drawing the wandering attention of the jonin back.

"Hoe…" Kakashi intoned thoughtfully. "I didn't know Sakura-chan had smoke bombs."

"It's a genjutsu," Kurenai stated.

"I know." Kakashi grinned.

Kurenai hoped that his student would just lose already. Victory, she found, didn't suit Kakashi's ego.

 **TWISTED**

"You can't run anymore, Sakura!" Ino yelled, panting. "I've got you right where I wanted you!"

Sakura smirked, though it was most likely fake.

"It's not looking good for your teammate," Shikamaru muttered. "She won't be able to escape Ino's jutsu a second time, Naruto."

Grinning, Ino pulled out a shuriken. Unbeknownst to her, this was the chance Sakura had been waiting for. It felt like everything she'd ever done and been was riding on this one moment. She needed to catch that shuriken, the way she'd seen Kakashi do a million times before. She had set an array of traps during the distraction of the fake genjutsu-explosion, but she'd need a shuriken to make them work. She had to do this, she had to concentrate with every fiber of her being, no matter what. She couldn't lose.

"You think a rude gesture will what? Impress me?" crowed Ino, throwing the shuriken – it would likely swish past her, slightly above Sakura's head. Instead of dodging, jumped right into the path of the ninja star, her middle fingers spread upwards in a rude gesture. But giving Ino the bird in front of the Hokage was not Sakura's plan, as strange as that may seem. If she was going to catch the shuriken, she'd rather spare her thumb and index in case her attempt went south, and the other two fingers were to weak, ergo she'd have to use her right middle finger.

The razor-like shuriken was closing in.

This was it. She had to catch it.

But Sakura had miscalculated, the weapon was too far away – in a last ditch attempt, she thrust her other, left hand upwards, and this time, this time she managed to brush the shuriken just enough to deflect its course.

"Pfft! Nice try!" jested Ino. "But I think you missed by a wide margin." The shuriken swiveled past her innocently– and then Sakura smirked. The wire had been cut, the game was on.

"Are you sure?"

Ino scoffed. "Where do you think you're aiming at, Forehead? Don't try to play it off, I'm right he–"

But she never got to finish her sentence. A complicated mechanism of wires had propelled an array of pebbles towards Ino at such speeds, that the one finally impacting her blond skull caused an instant knock out.

The room went quiet.

Sakura just sat there.

She had beaten Ino with just a wire.

She had beaten _Ino_.

"Victory goes to Sakura Haruno," the proctor declared between coughs.

"Believe it!" Someone yelled.

Sakura felt hollow. What? Did that mean… that their friendship was lost forever? She watched, fighting tears, as Ino was carried upstairs, away from her.

 **TWISTED**

"I… these are Ino's weapons…"

Asuma glanced at the pink haired girl in front of him. Kakashi's kid, the one who'd beaten his own. Her gaze was downcast.

"I'm sorry–" she said. "I didn't mean to beat her so badly, I just–"

"Save it." Everyone stared at Asuma with surprise. Asuma looked at Sakura with fixation. "You said you intended to never lose again. Now stand to your words."

 _A ninja must assume the consequences of his actions – **her** actions._

Sakura's shoulders were shaking, and Asuma averted his gaze. The girl's green eyes landed on Kakashi's face as they peeked between her bangs.

His face was without forehead protector. Of course. He'd given Sakura his own! She began unfastening it from around her head, but then Kakashi told her to just keep it. Back in the forest Sakura had used her own hitai ate to build the raft so as to navigate the river, and, as she'd been forced to vacate the boat so suddenly, it was now lost. Sakura frowned deeply, feeling ridiculed. What kind of ninja lost their own hitai ate?

"I guess you'll weasel another hitai ate out of the Hokage…" she told Kakashi gloomily.

Kakashi observed her quietly, suddenly ruffling her head until it looked like a peculiar bush. "Don't you want to greet your admirers, Sakura-chan? I think Naruto would really like to welcome his new heroine…" there was an awkward silence. "Even Sasuke seemed quite taken by your victory."

Sakura couldn't help it, she gave Kakashi a genuine smile.

"I get it, you know?"'she said, giggling. "You didn't have to go that far, Sensei."

Satisfied with the disappearance of her tears, Kakashi shoed Sakura towards the welcoming arms of her team.


	27. Do or Die

In the subsequent twenty minutes, Haruno Sakura had planned for anything Ino might want to accuse her of upon waking up. "What's wrong with your head, Forehead?" had not crossed her mind.

Sakura was sitting across of her former friend, while the blonde leaned against the wall as she slept soundly. Or at least, she had been a moment ago.

Sakura's eyes flickered to Ino's blue ones nervously.

What's wrong with my head? She tried to search for a non-rude answer.

"I… are you alright, Ino?"

 _Way to obviously change the topic, girl._

Ino gave Sakura a dumbfounded look, clearly not expecting that. "I guess?" she replied at last. "But don't think I'll let you beat me next time, Forehead!"

As though a switch had been flipped in her brain, Sakura automatically jeered back: "Don't look so sure about that, Pig." But then she paused, nearly facepalming. _So much for befriending Ino_ , thought Sakura mournfully. But then again, perhaps butting heads with her wasn't so bad… it was kind of like their thing, wasn't it? Right then, Sakura could feel no animosity in the blonde's gaze, inspite of her words.

 _Does that mean Ino and I are back to normal?_

"What are you grinning stupidly for, Sakura?" She snapped back to attention. "Seriously Forehead, I never know what's going on behind that oversized forehead."

Sakura smirked. "Clearly my thoughts are too advanced for you to keep up."

"Yeah right." Ino rolled her eyes, a thoughtful look entering them. "But for real now, Sakura, what's up with your mind? There were, like, two of you inside… I mean, what the hell?"

Sakura blinked at this.

 _Is she referring to me?_ Inner Sakura pondered.

Suddenly, Inner's voice made Sakura slightly uncomfortable. For the first time, she realized that having such an actively opinionated persona shut inside of her own head may not actually be the norm.

"Umm…" she replied tensely. "Maybe you should brush up on your jutsu a bit, Pig, 'cause the only thing weird here is your haircut."

 _Unconsciously quoting Naruto, now are we?_ Inner commented, giggling in a corner of her mind.

Doing her best to ignore the humorous remark once again, Sakura made a point to surreptitiously glance at Ino's severed ponytail and gag.

"Come off it, Sakura!" exclaimed the blonde, catching her gaze. "Your hair looks like a wild bush too."

 _Well at least it's still there…_

Pretending not to hear Inner, Sakura frowned thoughtfully, trying to imagine what the nightmarish Forest of Death would've been like with the added annoyance of clinging, sweat-coated hair-strands pressed against her scalp and forehead and shivered slightly.

Yeah, we really do need a shower, Inner quipped.

Sakura ignored her once again.

"So _Pig_ , where'd you get the idea to cut your hair so as to make a rope to trap me in your jutsu? It's awfully creative for your standards."

Ino twitched. "Why you…!"

Sakura smirked, happy to get a raise out of her. "You should've told me, sweetie. I had no idea about your barbaric tendencies…"

"Like you're one to talk, Forehead! My inspiration actually came from seeing you," Ino informed, her face smug.

"Say what?" Sakura was dumbfounded.

Ino, now on a roll, proceeded to explain how her team had stumbled upon Sakura back at the forest, how they had been about to jump in and save the day, but Sakura had barbarically achieved victory by means of tying a stone to a poisoned rope and flinging it about crazily like a neanderthals woman or something.

Sakura gaped at her friend incredulously.

Out of the whole tale, only one thing stuck with her, and it was not how team ten had figured out her trick with the poisoned rope. No. What stood out to Sakura was completely different: had Ino really been prepared to jump in for her in a situation like that? Sakura gulped, touched. She was so touched, actually, that she threw her arms around the blonde.

 _We're friends again,_ she realized breathlessly, and nothing could've made her happier.

"Ugh, Forehead. How can you smell so nice and look so terrible all at the same time?" Ino questioned drolly.

Sakura grinned.

"That's for me to know and you to find out!" she said giggling. "Ask Kakashi-sensei if you want the details."

Ino made a strange noice at the back of her throat, then released Sakura from the hug so she could give her an odd look.

"Your teacher's so… ugh, _weird_. You know what, Forehead? I don't want to know. I'm fine stinking by myself."

"You know you aren't…" singsonged Sakura.

Ino stuck out her tongue. "So what was up with your teammates being passed out and all that?" she questioned thoughtfully, furrowing her brows. Sakura realized that she must likely be talking about The Forest of Death again. "I mean, Naruto I can understand, but Sasuke? no offense, Forehead, but I thought you'd be the one doing the passing out."

Sakura gave her a droll look.

"I _did_ pass out, Pig. Repeatedly." She rolled her eyes. "I was just unlucky enough to be the first to wake up."

Ino bit her lip, laughing slightly.

"Ah, Forehead, Forehead…" she drawled placidly. "You know my teammate, Shikamaru?" Sakura nodded. "He would've pretended to still be asleep for sure. He's so lazy you wouldn't believe–"

"So glad you're feeling better now, Ino," a voice complained from a spot to their right. Then, in a mumble: "Troublesome woman…"

Ino stuck her tongue out at her teammate's back. "Lazy Bum, he is," she mouthed to Sakura. Sakura smirked, an image of Naruto scratching his behind popping into her mind.

Both friends snickered, rekindling their bonds over their teammates' misery.

 **TWISTED**

However, after many rounds of horsing around, Ino and Sakura's merriment was interrupted by the arrival of yet another critical match. The screen at the center of the room visibly showed in pixelated lettering:

UZUMAKI NARUTO

VS

INUZUKA KIBA

"It's my turn to shine!" Naruto exclaimed. " _Believe_ it!"

Sakura couldn't help but do.

"Now's your chance, Naruto," she encouraged, grinning. "Show Kiba how much you've improved!"

Naruto gave a bubbly salute, bolting down the railing.

Ino on her part threw Sakura a sideways glance.

"Aren't you awfully fond of your teammate, Forehead?" she prodded suspiciously.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"You said it, Pig. He's…"

What? Sakura was suddenly left not knowing what to say. Didn't she always complain about him? _But things are different now,_ she reflected suddenly. She still saw Naruto's flaws, still felt bothered by his bad manners or jokes, but at the end of the day, Sakura cared about him, she intrinsically knew that.

"Naruto is… about to show you the way he _really_ is," she settled for saying.

Ino looked confused, shrugged, but didn't otherwise comment. On her part, Sakura was completely focused on the impending fight.

She'd seen what Naruto was capable of, what resilience and strength of character he possessed. But Kiba hadn't, and so the trash talking began. Kiba was full of cockiness and bravado, obviously believing that Naruto stood zero chances against him, and proceed to inform him of that fact rather harshly. The audience, even the jonin, all seemed to agree with him, which only made matters worse.

Sakura gritted her teeth.

"Go for it, Naruto!" she yelled, trying to break the oppressing atmosphere. Naruto, she knew, always tried to make himself out to be braver and stronger than he really was, pitting himself against his fears again and again. But what about confidence? Against someone like Kiba? With so many people watching?

 _He's good at faking it alright,_ Inner drawled.

"Just show them, Naruto!" Sakura once again shouted, eager to prove her point. "They're buttheads if they think you'll lose!" she added, making a lot of heads turn in her direction.

 **TWISTED**

And show them he did. Agains all odds, Naruto not only stood his ground, but soundly _defeated_ Kiba, even after the dog-lover had swallowed a soldier pill to temporarily double his power-output capacity.

"Victory…" the proctor wheezed out (poor man had a really bad cold), "goes to Uzumaki Naruto."

Sakura smiled euphorically.

"WAY TO GO, NARUTO!" she cheered, throwing Ino a triumphant smile.

"Pshhh… Shikamaru did better," Ino defended, but Sakura wasn't listening.

"We all passed, Sensei!" she notified proudly, turning towards her teacher.

"Ma, no need to thank me." Kakashi returned her smile with his classical eye-crinkle, to which Sakura replied with a droll stare. She was about to bite something back at his cheek, yet thought better of it, the rope in her pocket weighing heavily.

Ino's indignant expression at their bragging lifted her spirits though, as did the arrival of Naruto back on the stands. She was about to greet him, but put it on hold upon seeing one Hyūga Hinata approach him, revealing a tiny object in the palm of her hand.

 _What are they doing?_ Inner demanded suspiciously. To Sakura's mortification, next to Hinata, _the_ woman proceeded to say something to Naruto, after which he took the object from her and started laughing. Sakura's brows knit together in confusion.

"What's going on?" she wondered. "What are they doing?"

Ino glanced at Naruto discretely.

"What does it look like to you, Forehead? Are you such a lost cause that you can't even recognize someone flirting?"

Sakura's jaw fell slack.

" _What?_ " She stared at the pair. "Why would anyone…" _want to flirt with Naruto?_ The sentence was at the tip of her tongue, but she didn't finish it. After so much time spent rejecting the blonde, it was hard to wrap her head around the notion of Naruto's desirableness… and Sakura was now realizing how rude and shallow of her that actually was.

Ino snorted.

"Well, it's the weird kid. Figures she'd have weird tastes…"

Sakura frowned.

"Don't insult Naruto – nor her," she defended. "I don't think Hinata Hyūga is that bad… just shy." _The way I was before you changed me._

"Please, Forehead!" Ino laughed. "Have you seen the way she dresses? I mean, look at that sweater…"

Sakura turned her head away.

I refuse to have this conversation! Inner shouted madly. Meanwhile, Naruto had returned to their corner of the stands. Sakura peeked at her teammate, trying to discern what Hinata had given him. After a few failed attempts, Inner took the reigns to just up and ask:

"What did she give to you, Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto's face split into confusion, then a proud grin. "Sakura-chan! Did you see my fight? Who's the top-dog now, huh?"

Sakura was concentrating on the bottle in his right.

"Is that… an ointment?"

"Yeah, yeah, but did you see my super-secret-killer-move? I bet Sensei's stumped!"

Sakura gave up her inquiries and instead turned at the sound of a snort, suspiciously close to Kakashi's location. It could've been Ino's sensei too though. Kakashi just didn't do snorting.

 _Besides… isn't that like… uncomfortable… with the mask?_

But her trail of thought was interrupted again, this time by Ino:

"Look, Forehead. It's your idol's turn."

Sakura turned around brusquely.

HINATA HYŪGA 

VS

NEJI HYŪGA

 _I've got mixed feelings about this,_ she thought, glancing between the two candidates.

Both Hinata and another–

"Wait, is that a guy or a girl?"

The sudden question startled a laugh out of Ino.

"Are you serious, Sakura?" she wheezed, clapping her hands hysterically. "That's a guy, silly! Or does 'Neji' sound girly to you?"

Sakura flushed deeply.

"Fine, Pig, I was just asking."

Both Hinata and another 'guy', Neji, by the looks of it a tad older, were facing off at the center of the arena. Their shared pallor both in skin and eye color made it apparent that they were related, cousins, though Neji's brownish mane of hair was a funny counterpart to Hinata's dark, trimmed strands, which cascaded down her face – doing a great job at hiding it, but not so much her obvious apprehension.

"Why's she so scared?" Ino queried. "I mean, not that it's any of my business, but she's Neji's boss. He can't do anything serious to her."

Sakura's brows rose past her hairline.

"His boss?" she echoed. "What are you talking about?"

Ino rolled her eyes.

"You don't know anything, do you, Forehead?" She sighed dramatically. "If you used your eyes some, you'd see that these two are from the Hyūga clan, and everyone knows that Hinata's the heads' daughter, hence why she's better than Neji."

"Better?" Sakura frowned. "I thought you said she was _weird_."

"I said that to you, Forehead, because you aren't gonna go around and spread it." Here Ino eyed Sakura pointedly. "At least, you better not. And besides, I'm a clan heir too, I'm entitled."

Sakura stared at Ino blankly. Sometimes it was easy to forget how socially superior the blonde – and a lot of her classmates – were to her. She sighed, glancing back at the match unfolding bellow.

"Neji's not going easy on her at all, Pig," Sakura remarked crossly, watching his merciless advances against a feebly resisting Hinata. "Are you sure she's an heir?"

"What are you– you're right!" Ino looked at the two brawling cousins with an unreadable look on her face, her mouth slightly agape.

Neji was using his fingers to sharply hit Hinata in certain joints and weaker parts of her body, the latter doing her best to not get fried. Minutes passed like this, things not looking up on Hinata's side. The match was completely one-sided, a situation even worse than when Mebuki had brought it upon herself to teach he daughter a lesson. No matter how utterly helpless Hinata was, how many times Neji hit her in fatal points, the slaughter carried on.

"Just look at her!" Ino cried after minutes of it. "Neji already has her on her knees! Why's no one doing anything!"

Sakura didn't hear the blonde. Hinata's tattered appearance had struck a chord within her. The girl's situation couldn't be described in any other way as desperate, hopeless; a lost cause.

"Why does she keep going?" Sakura asked, her eyes glassy. "She's not gonna win."

Ino was silent for a minute.

"I don't know, what makes you keep going, Forehead?"

That seemingly harmless question was startling.

 _What… makes **me** … keep going?_ Sakura stared at Hinata. _Why?_ She was hacking up blood, her limbs trembling.

Why did Naruto keep going? Or Sasuke?

Before… Sakura had known why she kept going… or had she?

She'd made herself look pretty so she could be popular, she'd read textbooks so she could be smart, she'd broken her best friendship so she could have love…

 _What am I doing?_

Sakura stared straight forward, her mossy eyes unseeing.

 _What am I doing with my life? Why did I stop being friends with Ino? Does Sasuke even like people who diss their friends?_ Before even formulating the question, Sakura knew the answer.

 _No way._

 _So why did I ditch Ino?_

Sakura thought back to that time. She'd felt really mature back then. She'd thought she was a big girl, making her own choices, walking on her own two feet.

 _But I was mean to Naruto, just because talking to him went against my goal of being popular, and I wanted to be popular so Sasuke would like me… so I ditched Ino… wanting to be mature?_

"Forehead? Are you still there? Earth to Foreheaaaad…"

 _Or did I pin after Sasuke to prove something to Ino?_ Sakura shook her head when–

"Sakura!"

She jerked back to reality.

"Hey, I thought you liked Hinata!" Ino exclaimed in outrage. "And now you're not even looking at her match! What's the big idea, Bilboard?"

Sakura chuckled faintly.

 _Ino will be Ino._

And Hinata was undergoing a severe thrashing.

 _Shit_.

Sakura resisted the urge to chew on her nails. "We need to put a stop to this right now!" she said in a panicky voice. "Ino, she can't keep this up! Those injuries… they look serious!"

"Are you kidding?" Ino cried. "Neji's using the gentle fist technique. He's shutting off her chakra vessels!"

No way!

"You can go to the hospital for that!"

"Or the cenotaph, Forehead! Get a grip!"

"I'm not–"

But Sakura was interrupted. By Naruto's shouted… encouragements.

"YOU CAN DO IT, HINATA! DON'T LET THAT BUTTHEAD BEAT YOU!"

Sakura's eyes widened.

 _Idiot…! That's not the idea!_

But then, as everyone turned to glare at Naruto, she saw Hinata. She seemed… happy. Overjoyed, if Sakura was being honest. How could anyone smile and show strength in that sort of situation? Hinata should've passed out ages ago. Sakura knew she would've. Were Naruto's words truly so important to Hinata?

They really seemed to be. She was practically glowing now, throwing herself at her bully of a cousin with renewed vigor.

Sakura gulped, gripping the railing.

 _Hinata's found her reason._

"That's it!" Ino cried from next to her. "I'm gonna talk to her Sensei! This is crazy."

The jonin with the cigarette Sakura had seen earlier put a hand on Ino's shoulder, shaking his head.

"But Asuma-sensei!" Ino wailed.

Sakura frowned, searching for Kakashi with her eyes.

Her own teacher, who'd been submerged in his pornography, looked up briefly and then went back to reading.

 _That's a no if I ever saw one,_ Inner surmised.

 **TWISTED**

The match came to an end horribly, with Hinata passing out and on the verge of some sort of crisis, while Neji trampled all over her pride and positivity.

"I bow to avenge her!" Naruto had said, dipping his hands into Hinata's leftover blood. Sakura had just felt sick.

The next match was even worse.

This time it was Rock Lee, Neji's teammate and the Spandex Man's lookalike, who was pitted against Gaara. Sakura knew before the proctor even gave the start signal, that the match wouldn't end well. Or even in just defeat.

 **TWISTED**

But Lee held his ground, somehow.

"He's like a flash…" Sakura breathed. "How's he…?"

Naruto nodded, grinning.

"Bushy brow even beat _Sasuke_ while you weren't around, Sakura-chan!"

"You mean before the first exam?"

"Yeah! It was hilarious! You shoulda seen the bastard's face! It went like… pewwww… SPODGE!"

Sakura couldn't bring herself to avert her eyes from the match, never mind laugh. The situation was far from funny. She didn't know Rock Lee, but she had a feeling she never would, if the match came to an end.

She looked around, quickly spotting Spandex Man and running up to him.

"Stop the match!" Sakura cried without preamble.

Spandex Man, whose face looked unusually serious, turned to her.

"Oho! My rival, it seems that your pupil has come to join us!"

 _Okay… forget serious._

Next to him, Kakashi giggled and passed a page from his book. Sakura could've sworn he hadn't been reading before she'd gotten there, or had he? …it didn't matter.

"Please! You've got to stop the match!" Sakura repeated.

"Such passion for such a young soul!" Spandex Man shouted back.

 _He's not even listening…!_

"Please, sir, the match!"

"It is but the reflection of youth upon your eyes that will inspire my student to seek victory! Yes, Lee! That is the spirit!" His comment made Sakura look back to the stage, where Lee was preparing to use some kind of ace up his sleeve, quite literally, as he loosened up the bandages on his arms.

Sakura only got an increasingly uneasy feeling.

"Stop avoiding the topic!" she couldn't help but yell at Spandex Man. The attention shifted. Something in the air changed, as Spandex Man AKA Might Guy turned to Kakashi, the two talking with their eyes.

And then Kakashi snapped Icha Icha shut, his eyes fixed on the fight once again. "You taught him _that_ technique…?"

"I did!" Guy boomed. "Lee is ready for it, he deserves to learn!"

"I don't care if he does, just stop the match!" Sakura interrupted. This time both adults looked at her, really _looked_ , Kakashi putting a patronizing hand over her head and politely telling her to go check on Naruto.

Sakura gripped her weapons pouch angrily, walking back to the stands.

 **TWISTED**

It happened without her conscious permission. Sakura was positive that she hadn't given her body the order to pull out Kakashi's rope, it was a completely stupid move on her part. But then, when she came back to her senses, Lee had been tied up, sprawled on the floor of the stands, and everyone was looking at her.

Sakura's perplexed gaze trailed down her own body, fixing on her right hand, which was clutching the rope Lee was tied to. Apparently, she'd thrown it at him like a lasso, then proceeded to swing him out of the arena like a fisherman.

 _Out of the hellhole,_ Inner corrected. _Or the killer white-shark tank, if we're using fish metaphors._

 _White-shark can't be kept in a tank_ , Sakura mentally grumbled back. Then she remembered that she had just randomly pulled a stranger out of an exam, causing his forfeit by default, even though Kakashi had expressively indicated she stay out of it. But how could she!? She alone knew what a monster Gaara really was. Kakashi hadn't nearly been strangled by his sand, fixed under that loony psycho-gaze of his. Kakashi-sensei didn't get it. He really, _really_ didn't.

Because, the way Sakura saw it, Lee would've been harmed if she'd let things run their course. He wouldn't have been able to dodge that last attack, not after he'd taken that fall to the ground. However… would the others, the proctor, his teacher, see it that way? Sakura knew that it was prohibited to interfere in other candidates' matches, more so in an important setting like the chunin exam… and her interference would cost Lee a loss, perhaps even herself.

Almost terrified, Sakura glanced down at the arena, her eyes landing on a furious looking Gaara, then on the sick referee.

Her petrified gaze trailed back to Kakashi and Spandex Man. Kakashi's face was inscrutable as always, though Spandex Man was coming at her before Sakura could blink. But instead of chastising her or something of the like, he gripped Lee's shoulders like a lifeline and burst into tears.

"I'm sorry, Lee!" he cried. "I shouldn't have encouraged you to keep fighting in these conditions!"

 _He's talking normally now,_ Inner commented waspishly.

"I'm even sorrier, Guy-Sensei!" Lee bawled back. "I won't let you down next time, Guy-Sensei!"

"No, I'm even sorrier, Lee! And I shall do a hundred pushups on my knuckles to prove it!"

"And I shall do two hundred pushups since I'm even sorrier!"

"Six hundred!"

 _Shouldn't he be, like, resting_? Sakura thought, eyeing Lee's injuries.

 _No matter_ , concluded Inner. _More importantly… we need to remove ourselves from the situation._

While they argued, Sakura tried to retrieve the rope Lee was tied to and make herself as small as possible, but Guy-sensei, the treacherous green beast of Konoha, noticed her attempt to escape nevertheless.

"Have my gratitude, Kakashi's Student!" he boomed. "I was too fired up with the match to evaluate the situation critically! Lee could've really been hurt in that last instance." Sakura let out a breath of relief, aware that she did not want an enemy out of this Guy. But he wasn't done: "However!" he added lowly. "I must ask you not to interfere in such a manner again. Is this clear?"

 _Cristal._


	28. Hospital Talk

"So…" Sakura trailed off, eyeing her team uncomfortably. Naruto was glaring at Sasuke, who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in bed, Kakashi nowhere in sight.

Sakura gave up conversation and stared at the wall glumly. After the medics finished looking over them, they'd finally be free to leave the hospital and go home…

Sighing, she envisioned the welcome embrace of her family. A tiny, treacherous voice in her mind whispered that it was only her, that none of her teammates had that privilege, that she should make it up to them instead… but Sakura was just so tired.

 _Not to mention… I'd get a crisis if I stayed around these two,_ she reflected wisely.

Since Naruto and Sasuke had drawn numbers six and seven respectively, which would pit them against each other in the final round of the exam in one month's time, the two had been tenser than ever, a sort of battle of wills unfolding between them even at the slightest glance.

Sakura sighed again, thinking of her own opponent…

"Yo."

 _You're late… Sensei_ , she thought blearily, watching Kakashi climb in through the window.

Both Sasuke and Naruto cast a very quick glance his way and then glared at each other even more fiercely.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted. "I'm the one you're gonna train, right?"

"Keep dreaming, Naruto!" Sasuke bit back.

 _What about me…?_ Sakura thought nervously.

Meanwhile Kakashi scratched his head.

"Sorry, I think I'll pass."

"What!?" team seven collectively shouted, outraged.

" _But_ ," Kakashi merrily continued, "I've found someone to train you guys."

"I ain't training with that bastard!" Naruto yelled, pointing at Sasuke.

"You won't be," said a voice from the door. Asuma, Ino's Sensei with the cigarettes, strolled into the room. "We're taking you to train with us for the next month. How's that sound, Naruto?"

Naruto had no problem with protesting to Asuma's face.

"But I wanna train with you, Sensei! Not with some other guy! KAKASHI-SENSEI ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"

"How could I not?" Kakashi drawled. "I have some other urgent things to take care of, Naruto. And there's something you should learn that only Asuma can teach you."

At this, Naruto sat up straight.

"What? What? _What?_ "

Kakashi gave him his classical non-revealing smile.

"You'll have to use this to figure it out," he drawled, tapping the top of Naruto's head humorously. "As for Sasuke… you'll be training with a genjutsu expert. She'll help you with the sharingan."

Sasuke frowned deeply.

"You must be joking. The one who has the sharingan is you, Kakashi."

Kakashi's brows rose into the air, as Naruto went stiff. "Do you expect me to train you so you can beat your teammate?" He snickered, pulling his book out and swatting Sasuke on the head with it – to which Sasuke replied with a ferocious glare. "I don't think so, Sasuke."

Sasuke turned to glare at Naruto.

"What about me, Sensei?" Sakura asked.

Kakashi smiled at her placidly. "Ah, Sakura-chan. Guy himself offered to train you. I think you have a fan now."

Sakura stared at him, completely aghast.

 _But I don't want to train with Spandex Man! He's a weirdo._

Kakashi must've seen something in her gaze, because he ruffled her hair and gave her a little nudge. "He's a good teacher, you'll see."

"And you're just lazy, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted.

"As I said before, Naruto," Kakashi ejaculated drolly. "I'm a man on a mission." He glanced at Asuma, still standing by the door. "There is something I wanted to talk to you three about. I'm sure Asuma would like to join us."

Asuma seemed a little taken aback, yet agreed, taking a seat next to a plant (presumably to help with the residues of his smoking) and looking over at them speculatively.

Pleased, Kakashi nodded towards the only female member of team seven. "Why don't you tell us about training ground 44, Sakura-chan?"

 _Wha–_

A quick flashback of the eye-less ninja sent her skittering back as though she'd been burned.

"Just the part in which you guys were together," Kakashi quickly amended.

Calming down, Sakura let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Unnoticed by her, Naruto and Sasuke exchanged glances which for once had nothing to do with battle-thirst. Sakura harrumphed nervously.

"…uh… so… were do I start?"

"Why not try the beginning?" her teacher offered.

Sakura sighed. "Well, we went to the river, and there were flying leeches–"

"Ma, ma Sakura-chan," Kakashi interrupted. "Would this be an accurate mission report, do you think?"

 _Come again, jerk?_

Realizing what she was supposed to answer, Sakura shook her head slowly.

"Why not?"

This time it was Sasuke who answered: "A mission report must include not only the consequences of each action and the events leading up to them, but also the possible motivations behind them."

"Nice," Kakashi commented. "As you seem so eager to speak, why don't you continue, Sasuke?"

Sakura bit her lip, annoyed at being bested in her strong suit but grateful not to be the one talking.

"We went to the river," Sasuke began confidently, "because it would provide a path to follow, resources, and a strategic advantage over ambushers."

Asuma blew a ring with his cigarette. "I like your thinking, kid."

Sasuke smirked. "I did too, until the moron jumped into the water."

There were collective pitying and demeaning looks sent Naruto's way.

"Since he wasn't coming out, I jumped in to drag Naruto to the surface, though there were leeches sticking to us." Here Sasuke glanced at Sakura. "Sakura remembered their weakness of heat, so I blew a fireball to rid ourselves of them."

 _He's making it sound so easy…_ Inner deadpanned. _The run through the forest was nothing like a walk in the park, got it!?_

"Jumping in without taking measures was a mistake, Sasuke," said Kakashi, somehow looking unimpressed. "Wouldn't you say?" He glanced at Asuma.

Asuma took his time to answer, being sure to first blow another smoke ring. "I have to agree," he drawled finally. "Did any of you have a rope?"

Sakura raised her hand meekly.

"You should've tied it to Sasuke before he went in," Asuma explained. Sakura felt like she'd missed something obvious.

 _Useless…_ she frowned regretfully. _Why can't I get anything right?_

In doing this, she skipped over most of Sasuke's subsequent explanation about henging onto one another, only tuning back in when he went into the finer details of his and Naruto's struggle against giant snakes and later the collective face-off against Orochimaru.

"I've got to hand it to you," Asuma drawled. "The transformation and password were some smart thinking. It should've worked on anyone, but then again, you couldn't have known who your opponent was."

This was finally Naruto's chance to justify his actions:

"See, you guys! I did the right thing by preventing Sasuke to just give up the scroll! I didn't even know the snake lady was such a hotshot!"

There was a very awkward silence in which Sakura and Sasuke exchanged glances.

 _You tell him!_ Inner mentally yelled. _It was your idea, Sasuke! You tell him that the scroll he fought so hard for was a fake!_

 _But wait… wasn't that my idea?_ Outer Sakura realized.

 _Lying at Naruto was his idea, not ours!_

 _But I was the one to exchange scrolls while Naruto was distracted…_

In the real world, Naruto and the two jonin had realized that Sakura and Sasuke knew something that they didn't, and were looking at them suspiciously.

Knowing that Sasuke wasn't about to admit it, Sakura took a deep breath and said:

"…Naruto… the scroll you defended was a fake." Cue gasp. "The real one… was in your own pocket…" she finished meekly.

Naruto was beyond outraged. "Say WHAT?!" he yelled. "You mean I risked my life for a meaningless piece of paper?" His head swiveled to glare at Sasuke. "Why, you bastard…"

"Now, now, Naruto. Let them speak." Kakashi turned to Sakura and Sasuke. "Didn't you hear me earlier, when I said… 'start by the beginning'?"

Sakura averted her gaze, unable to meet his eye.

"We had no choice," defended Sasuke, unclenching his jaw. "Naruto would've made it obvious who had the scroll!"

"Oh, would he?" echoed Kakashi. Turning to Naruto, he repeated the question: "would you, Naruto?"

"Of course not!" Naruto shouted, looking beyond angry. In his eyes, there was a deep hurt which made Sakura flinch.

"I thought I had taught you better, Sasuke, Sakura." Kakashi spoke slowly, too normally almost. But there was a subtle something in his tone, a certain frigidness, which made Sakura's knees shaky.

"I'm so sorry, Sensei!" she couldn't help but cry out. "We didn't mean to–"

Kakashi gave her his classical smile.

"It's alright, Sakura-chan… is what you want me to say?" He chuckled. Then he pointedly looked at Naruto, and Sakura understood. Like always, she'd sought forgiveness from her teacher first.

"Naruto… I'm sorry we hurt your feelings… we didn't mean to…"

Naruto looked at Sasuke, crossed his arms, then looked back at Sakura, then back at Sasuke.

"Think you're above everyone else, huh, Sasuke?" he demanded. "Oi! Answer me!"

Now all attention was set on Sasuke, Sakura's attempt at an apology apparently forgotten. Sasuke, whose gaze was downcast, turned to look at Naruto. "Tch…" he said, lowering his stare again, then looking at the wall. "We won't do it again."

"You better not…" Naruto threatened, sounding relieved. And then, like a switch, he went back to impersonating a ray of sunshine again: "Ne, Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan!" he said excitedly. "What happened after I passed out? Why were you hanging out with someone like Gaara?"

Now suddenly alarmed, Sakura looked at Kakashi for help, but Kakashi was still in nonchalant mode and nodded along with Naruto's inquiries, as though mildly interested in the topic. Sasuke's countenance took a darker turn, his dark eyes boring into Sakura's. Even Asuma seemed interested in her answer.

 _This isn't like Wave…_ Sakura thought with panic. _I can't just… just tell them… how could I?_

With increasing foreboding, she kept sending pleading looks at Kakashi, but Kakashi ignored them.

 _Talk!_ Inner urged. _We've got no choice!_

"Nothing really exciting happened…" Sakura found herself saying. The lie came eerily naturally, clicking into place just so. "I found another team which had fallen prey to the leeches, took their scroll, and carried you guys to the tower. After… uh, resting some."

Her teammates' reactions were vastly different in kind. Sasuke's eyes narrowed, while Naruto's sparkled with excitement.

"Cool!" he praised. "What did you mean earlier when you said that an aligator almost ate you?"

"I… said that?" Sakura couldn't remember when. "Uh… well, I built a boat, you see, because, since I couldn't carry the both of you very well…?"

"So smart, Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke was looking at her inscrutably, and Kakashi's face was a dark blue canvas.

"So I stumbled into the aligator… that's it."

"That doesn't explain Gaara," Sasuke objected.

"Maybe…" Sakura muttered. _I should tell him that I promised Gaara that he'd get to fight Sasuke in exchange for the aid… but how?_

"Sa-Sasuke… did you know…" Sakura muttered, "that Gaara is…"

"Hmmm?" Naruto asked, frowning. "What was that?"

Sakura twisted a stray lock of hair between her fingers. "I… can't…" She flinched.

Sasuke glared.

"Did Gaara force you to do something?"

"N-no…" Sakura said quickly, feeling bad. _I've got to tell him!_ "I made… a bargain with him…"

"A bargain?" Kakashi echoed.

Sakura glanced at him. _Sensei doesn't seem faced…_ she thought, incredulous. _Doesn't he care that I became 'buddy-buddy' with a crazed psycho?_

"What kind of bargain?" Sasuke interrupted forcefully.

"He…" Sakura closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. _They so won't like this._ "He'd been about to kill me, and–"

"What?!" Naruto screamed, Sasuke next to him balling his fists.

Sakura glanced back at Kakashi. At this point, he was the only one who'd remained calm about the whole ordeal. It was sort of anchoring, looking at it objectively.

"I convinced him to escort us to the tower instead."

There was a sort of disbelieving silence. Even Asuma looked taken aback.

"At what cost?" asked Sasuke, correctly guessing that there had been a catch.

Sakura felt terrible. It would've been fine if she'd offered Gaara something she herself could give, but bargaining with the life of one of her teammates… Sakura felt tears of frustration building in her eyes. She tried to swallow them, couldn't, started crying, tried to stop… Sakura was left hunched over herself, her face lowered and covered by her hair, her shoulders shaking with each sob.

"He… he wanted to…"

Suddenly, she felt fabric resting on her shoulder. It was Kakashi's gloved hand. He didn't say anything though, for which Sakura was glad. She needed to inform Sasuke, even if it cost her the respect of her team, of the fact that she'd bargained with his life.

"He wanted to fight you, Sasuke," Sakura finally grit out, not looking up. For some reason, it felt like a lot of tension had suddenly evaporated from the room. "I told him… I told him he could if he brought us to the tower…" After saying this, Sakura hunched into herself, refusing to move another inch from her cocoon.

Next to her, she could almost see Kakashi scratching his head. "Sakura-chan… I don't think Sasuke will terribly mind…"

Surprised, Sakura lifted her head. Of all things, Sasuke was smirking. Didn't he understand the implications of Gaara wanting to fight him?

"He wants to kill you, Sasuke!" she shrieked.

Sasuke turned his head to look at her. "Gaara is just another milestone in my path," he said confidently. "Beating him in a fight is something I will do."

Sakura stared at him, shocked, trying to articulate words. Naruto, however, beat her to the punch:

"Who said you'll get to fight him, huh?" Pointing at himself challengingly, Naruto added: "you'll have to get past me first, Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked, throwing a comeback at him. Sakura couldn't believe that they'd skipped over the issue, just like that.

"Alright, alright," Kakashi said flippantly, clapping his hands. "We're done for today, you're free to go."

Smirking as he stuck his hands into his pockets, Sasuke unfurled from the covers, standing up from the bed, and, even though he was in a hospital gown, somehow made strolling out of the room look cool. "Check me out of here, will you, Kakashi?" he drawled, raising his hand lazily in goodbye.

"Like hell I'll let you beat me!" Naruto shouted, bolting after him.

The door shut with a bang.

Asuma scratched his head. "You want me to teach that kid to think before acting?" He threw a meaningful glance at Kakashi.

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "I think you're the most suitable, yes."

Asuma sighed, rubbing his temples. "Maybe it'll get Shikamaru motivated…"

Kakashi smiled blandly. "I'm sure it will."

Asuma took a long chuck from his cigarette, throwing Kakashi a last glance as he stood up and made for the door. "You know Hatake, when I said I owed you, I wasn't talking about this."

Kakashi seemed to find this a great deal more amusing as he waved goodbye at Asuma.

It left Sakura wondering.

"Why'd he agree to train Naruto? And the genjutsu mistress?" (AKA creepy woman) "Aren't they rooting for their own teams?"

Kakashi shrugged.

"Don't tell this to the others, but it's unlikely that our students will make it that far into the competition so as to fight each other…" He smiled. "And besides, Asuma's kid would benefit from having Naruto around and getting to know his skills… and as for Kurenai…" here, Kakashi's eye creased. "She's a genjutsu expert. It's not like she'd pass up a chance to get a closer look at the sharingan… not that she hasn't tried before…" he tapped the hitai ate covering his eye. "And besides, I had a feeling she'd accept if Asuma did."

Sakura stared at him blankly.

"You know, Sensei, that sounded pretty manipulative just now."

Kakashi sputtered. "Forget I said anything, in that case. Old man Kakashi doesn't go manipulating others, Sakura-chan."

Sakura smirked. "Sure he doesn't."

"Of course he doesn't."

Sakura giggled. "This'll be our little secret then, won't it, Old Man Kakashi?"

Kakashi groaned.

 **A/N**

 **I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, guys. I've been improving my writing style over the past few months so you might notice a change starting in chapter 32. Also, I'm planning to revise everything written up till now. Reviews are welcome.**

 **Have fun!**


	29. Not Everyone

When Sakura finally made it to her home, sweet home, she took a minute to just stand in front of the house-door and stare at it. Judging by the clattering sounds coming from the inside, her parents were likely both in the kitchen, having dinner, or just talking. Glancing through the living room window, for a while, Sakura simply observed the familiar apartment she'd so dearly missed with an all-encompassing feeling of joy.

Swiping at her eyes, she realized that her breathing had become harsh and labored. She was crying.

 _I'm back, back, back, back–_

But was she really?

Pressing her back against the wooden door, Sakura slid down until she was sitting on the rug, her face buried somewhere underneath of her scraped arms.

She knew, deep down, that a part of her had stayed in that forest.

 _Am I really back?_

Was she? Was she the same Sakura that had left?

She thought of eyeballs, snakes and leeches. Of Ino. Of victory and how bittersweet it had tasted. Of how, in her eagerness to be liked by Sasuke, she'd lied to Naruto, or how shellfish she'd been as she bargained with Gaara. Of how all of the other genin competitors had probably done better than her.

Her knees trembling, Sakura got up. She felt lost.

 _Enough is enough!_ grumbled Inner. _Let's just go in already._

So she opened the door.

"I'm home!" Sakura then announced, close to tears again.

"Sakura!" She didn't know who had said what not when or how, her ninja alertness be damned, but Sakura just knew that her parents were there, and their smell, and their touch, and, and, and–

She'd missed them so much it hurt.

Literally.

"Mom–" she chocked out: "You're squeezing too much–"

"Sakura! Sakura!" Mebuki kept repeating over and over.

"Mom, you're chocking me–"

"Alright, alright, _fine_!" Mebuki's searching hands lingered around her frame for one more moment, then let go of her altogether.

"You had us worried there for a sec, little Monkey," Kizashi now threw in, speaking to Sakura for the first time. He looked incredibly relieved, in spite of not even really knowing the dangers of the chunin exam first hand.

"Dad!" Sakura complained, attempting not to cry. "Are you still calling me that?" So nostalgic… she couldn't even remember when he'd begun. Sakura tried to stifle a sob. "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me a Monkey?" she whined, more out of habit than annoyance. "I'm grown up now."

She really was, wasn't she?

Kizashi grinned. "Sorry, sorry. No need to get the waterworks going because of that, Sakura-chan."

Sakura scrubbed at her tear-streaked cheeks.

 _That's not why I'm crying…_ she thought blearily. She had never ached so much for the safety of a home, the warmth of a hug, the lull of a Dad's deep voice… Somehow, she had lived to experience them again. To appreciate them.

"But…" Kizashi was still joking about something. "To me, you'll always be… Saru-chan!"

Sakura groaned, smiling.

 _Typical Dad._

"In that case, your… monkey… is finally back!" she exclaimed, exhaling deeply as she attempted to wrap her brain around that very notion.

("I'm back! I'm back!" She couldn't stop repeating it over and over again in her head, and henceforth start laughing and dancing all around the kitchen.)

"You sure you don't want to become a ballerina instead?" Kizashi queried, winking.

Sakura's smile fell.

 _That's right. What now? After all of this… do I still want to become a ninja?_

"Right now, I want a bath…" she deflected, sending a smile her parents' way.

"In that case, we shall respect the wishes of our monkey lady!" cried Kizashi.

Mebuki, on her part, looked at Sakura thoughtfully.

"You don't smell…" she commented, sniffing into her hair.

 _Why thank you so much, Mom,_ Inner bit back sarcastically.

"What kind of test did you take?" Mebuki inquired curiously.

Sakura grimaced. She didn't want to have this conversation right then. Or ever, for that matter. "It took place in training ground 44," she said slowly, carefully avoiding its signature, a tad more intimidating, name.

 _The Forest of Death._

Sakura shuddered.

Mebuki simply sighed, giving Sakura the terrible suspicion that she knew exactly what training ground 44 stood for.

 _And that a part of me died there, in that forest of the dead innocence._

"Just… give me another hug, dear."

Sakura complied gratefully. She'd really needed it too.

"And be happy that you're not grounded!" added Mebuki hastily. "That escaping stunt you pulled before the first test was awful!"

"I won't do it again, promise," said Sakura. "I'll even help out with the chores… willingly."

She was happy to be back indeed.

Mebuki chuckled.

"I'm not done yet, Sakura" she enunciated calmly.

 _Say what?_

"Tomorrow night, we'll be going to watch a performance," here she glanced at Sakura meaningfully. "And we'll watch it as a family."

That was a demand slash threat if Sakura had ever heard one. She didn't particularly harbor an interest in spectacles of the acrobatic sort, (she was sure that, whatever it may be, a ninja could do better) but none of that mattered in the face of family. _Not anymore._

"Yeah, I'll go, of course."

Mebuki smiled softly.

"You'll enjoy it, I promise."

Sakura was already enjoying herself.

 **TWISTED**

"Welcome home, Shikamaru."

The wooden doors to the Nara household had opened, almost tentatively, revealingYoshino's battered-looking son.

She took note of the sullen look in his eye, of his sagging shoulders, and, without saying anything else, beaconed him closer so she could give him a soft hug.

"How was the exam?" Yoshino asked. "Did you pass the second phase?"

From somewhere behind the back of her neck, she heard Shikamaru's mumbled assent.

"I was sure you would, Shikamaru," his mother said proudly, letting go of the hug so she could face him. "Do you want me to make anything special for dinner?"

Shikamaru waved his hand no before sticking both of them deep into his grime-smeared trouser-pockets.

Yoshino sighed, examining the garment with a scowl.

"See? It _was_ best to go with the brown ones. Those already belonged to Shikaku back in the day…"

Shikamaru's shoulders stiffened the slightest bit at the mention; Yoshino did not miss it.

"Speaking of which, where is Dad?" he asked casually.

"He had to leave for work at last notice… something urgent's come up." Yoshino sighed, wiping some crumbs from the kitchen's tabletop with a quick motion. "He's been gone since midday."

Shikamaru slouched further into himself. "Got it…" he said blandly, turning to the window. Yoshino sighed.

It was beginning to rain.

She should've seen this coming.

"You look tired, Shikamaru…" she enunciated with concern. "Don't you want to take a nap?"

Shikamaru didn't avert his gaze from the glass, making an alarm go off in Yoshino's mind. She disliked the empty look in his eyes.

"Maybe later," he replied eventually.

Yoshino would've been proud had the situation been any different. She had always got into fights with Shikamaru over his exaggerated eagerness to sleep and take naps at any time of day. Since he'd been little, she'd tried to beat that preference out of him, but now that he had returned, clearly in real need of a bit of rest, and refused such a rare invitation…

"Just call me for dinner," Shikamaru suggested, slouching in direction bedroom.

Yoshino bit her lip yet didn't ask what she wanted to. She was simply glad to have her son back. Shikaku would be proud, when he returned. If he did. It was always worrisome when he had to leave, specially with a level five alert for all jonin and above. As the jonin commander, that placed him in an incredible amount of danger and with equally oppressing responsibilities. Yoshino was certain that he'd return home drunk and refusing to remember anything about work.

 **TWISTED**

The jonin commander was only slightly tipsy upon his return, something which Yoshino took as a good omen. Perhaps the situation wasn't that terrible. Or maybe Shikaku had made a sacrifice so as to welcome back their reclusive son in a sober state.

The first thing Shikaku did upon walking through the door was locking it, closely followed by a headfirst dive into the cushioned sofa. Yoshino sat by his side, as she always did on those days.

"How was it?" she broke the silence tentatively, well aware that she was also breaking one of the unspoken rules of their house: what happened on the field stayed on the field.

Only not with their son. Yoshino wanted to know what had happened, if Shikamaru's dark gaze had had anything to do with the alert over Konoha, if their lives were truly in danger.

"Stressful." Shikaku's answer was curt. "We need to get started on evacuation plans."

Yoshino frowned.

"For our clan?"

"The whole village." As if to escape reality, Shikaku now buried his nose into a red pillow. "We should coordinate things with the other branch families of the clan too. Can I leave that up to you?"

Yoshino nodded apprehensively. "Just… tell me one thing. Is Shikamaru…?"

"He will be in danger next month," said Shikaku gravely. "Gotta teach him how to break high-level genjutsu."

Yoshino's brow creased. "You mean…for the final stage of the chunin exams? We have to make him drop out!"

Shikaku's jaw clenched.

"We are the head family of our clan. We'll do no such thing."

"But–"

"I don't want anything to happen to him any more than you do, Yoshino!" he grit out firmly. "But none of the candidates are allowed to drop out. Not Guy's Hyuga genius, not the other rookies, hell, not even Kakashi's kids, and neither will the enemy. Shikamaru can't drop out now. If he's smart, he'll know to quit in the first round and save his energy."

Yoshino gasped.

"You'll tell him…? But that's an S-rank secret!"

It was hard to know what Shikaku was thinking with his face buried under a mountain of pillows, but it had to be along the lines of… 'father or boss? What comes first?' Finally, he spoke again:

"Shesh… too bad that I lose some of my inhibitions when I'm drunk."

" _What?!_ " cried Yoshino in shock.

"Shikamaru usually gets roped along to my team dinners," Shikaku carried on. "And I will have him babysit me again the day before the exam."

Yoshino frowned, pursing her lips in disagreement.

"I don't care if it's your plan so you can warn him, Shikaku. You're setting a terrible example for our son! And you're _not_ getting drunk the day before the… event!"

Shikaku did not answer to that.

"Where is he?" he asked vaguely, hoping for a change of subject. "Is he back yet?"

"Shikamaru's in his room." Yoshino's brows creased with worry.

"Sleeping?"

"No. I've gone to check on him a few times… he's just staring out of the window without doing anything!"

Shikaku gave her a look that spelled: 'calm down, woman' and drawled: "Well, he does find entertainment in the study of clouds. It's raining outside, so maybe he's just changed his vantage spot."

"I think I know my son well enough to be able to tell when something's wrong," Yoshino growled. "Talk to him, Shikaku. He usually opens up to you about this sort of thing!"

"Can't _I_ take a nap?"

"No. Now go and fix this!"

Shikaku sighed.

"Lead the way."

 **TWISTED**

When Naruto finally made it to the door of his flat, he was drenched. Stupid Sensei had kept him in the hospital until it started pouring, and then he'd fallen into a puddle while chasing Sasuke-teme… and his ultra cool orange jacket had no sleeves anymore, because Sakura-chan had cut them off back in the forest.

Stupid snake lady.

And stupid Kakashi-sensei, selling him off to that cigarettes guy like that…

Frowning, Naruto watched as one of the neighbors stuck her head out of the window, saw him, and quickly shut it and the blinders altogether. Frowning, he finished fumbling around in his worn pockets to retrieve a set of keys, that were tied to a makeshift keychain which he'd once fabricated using ninja wire and cello-tape.

It was cold though. So cold that it took Naruto half a minute until his numb fingers managed to stick the house keys into the lock. With shaking palms, he twisted them around until there was a click and he could let himself into his home.

The flat was still messy as heck, the way he'd left it five days ago, when he'd been in a rush not to be late. (Sakura-chan hadn't scolded him that day, so maybe it had been worth it).

He wasn't in a rush now though. Trudging into the flat and tossing his sandals at the clothes rack, Naruto proceeded to wring his hair and jacket dry over the kitchen sink. When he was done, he clapped his cheeks twice to get them to heat up some and made a face at the dirty ramen bowl lying on the table, and his unmade bed and his strewn around clothes and the open window and the cold and–

"I'll just take a shower!" he announced loudly, grinning so wide it hurt. "It's decided then! A hot, awesome shower! And while I wait for the water to heat up, I'll clean this mess! Believe it!"

Still trembling, he moved to shut an open window, (Shoot! Why did I forget to close the stupid thing?) then went to to his tiny bathroom to let the shower's water flow, then moved to get some wood under the stove, then picked up some stray underwear, then moped the wet tiles under the previously open window.

"And it's probably 'bout time that I did some laundry… but after I chow down, hehe…" Naruto trailed off, opening the fridge. "I don't have any ramen left!" he realized with horror.

Staring warily at the vegetables on the tabletop, he was reminded of Kakashi and his annoying campaigns to make him eat them.

"Fine, Sensei!" Naruto yelled. "I guess your dumb meddling paid its fruits! HAHAH! That pun's hilarious! Gotta repeat that to him… if the tardy old fart shows up to training… late… then I'll tell him! And I'll have him treat me to ramen to make up for the green stuff!"

Nodding to himself happily, Naruto picked up a half rotten banana and ate it, resisting the urge to gag. He did not dare to make himself a warm cup of milk (he'd had his fair share of experiences with expired milk and embarrassing bathroom trips) so he just drank a glass of cold water from the tab. When he was finished eating and cleaning, the small flat was at least no longer freezing. Naruto was still hungry though. Annoyed, he shrugged off his worn (and only) pair of ninja clothes and made a mental note to go bother old man Hokage about some money for new ones. The water in the shower was still cold, so Naruto decided to postpone the inevitable for the next morning. It was still bright outside, but he was tired.

Slipping into his (smelly… ew) pajamas, Naruto curled into himself under the bedcovers.

"Yo! Good night, future Hokage-sama!"

Like always, no one answered.

But Naruto was totally fine with that, believe it or not. He was, after all, the future Hokage. Totally fine.

 **TWISTED**

"What about a game?" Shikaku suggested. "I heard you're into shoji?"

Shikamaru glanced at him indecisively from his perch on the window.

Sniffing, Shikaku wrinkled his nose. "You haven't even showered yet. Your mother will have my head for that."

"What a drag…" said Shikamaru. "Fine, Let's play shoji. Do you even know how?"

Shikaku barked out a laugh.

"What do you take me for, son? I grew up glued to that board."

Shikamaru grinned.

"I prefer a pillow, thanks. I don't need glue to beat you."

"We'll see, won't we?"

 **TWISTED**

When Sasuke made it to his doorstep, he didn't uselessly fumble with his keys nor trade heated glares with his neighbor. He didn't have neighbors.

Instead, he made himself a nutritive dinner consistent of lots of protein (beneficial for muscle growth), took a shower (he wasn't taking any chances after the leeches), changed the wraps around some of his injuries (those could become chronic problems if not handled accordingly), and had an uncomfortable conversation with two ANBU black ops who insisted upon guarding him.

They were banned to the roof. Sasuke did not admit strangers in his house.

The rest of the evening was spent sharpening his weapons with narrowed eyes as he tried to elaborate a mental profile of Yuhi Kurenai.

He was annoyed with Kakashi. Though he could understand the man's logic of not playing favorites, he couldn't – wouldn't – allow anything to stand in the way of his goal. Sasuke would grow strong.

 _Stronger_ , he reminded himself, always stronger.

Brusquely, he set aside his sharpening tools and crossed the room in a few strides, opening the window. Even though it was pouring outside, the two ANBU operatives were still unmovable as they crouched on the roof.

"Oi," Sasuke called. His voice was lost in the rain. "Oi!" he repeated again.

"Is there an issue?" one of the masked figures inquired.

"No," said Sasuke bluntly. "Train with me."

The ANBU exchanged looks, something considerably pointless given their masks and the thick curtains of rain. Finally, the one who had spoken, said:

"You should rest, Uchiha. The meteorological conditions are not suited for outside training."

Sasuke would show them weather conditions.

"You are ANBU, are you not?" he taunted smirking, undeterred. "The best of the best?" At thirteen, his brother had been appointed ANBU captain. At twelve, Sasuke was a genin, the lowest of ninja.

But he, Uchiha Sasuke, would rise above and beyond. He would. No matter what.

"Fire Flower Jutsu!" his shout was drowned out by the pouring rain, but the fire in his lungs, in his heart, blazed with an insatiable vigor.

As expected, the ANBU dodged. Sasuke lunged. Good. He'd have more kunai to sharpen when he woke up in the middle of the night.

A/N

So. End of this arc. I personally thought it was a really sad chapter, one that gives us a lot of insight into the main cast and what their day-to-day is like.

On another, more cheerful, note… how do you like the new cover? I really didn't know what to do with myself on a 14 hrs. flight… so this is what came off it. I've got other drawings I like better, but none are manga style, so…

Also: saru means monkey in Japanese, hence Kizashi's pun.


	30. Arc IV: The Mastery in Youth

"…and remember to be back by noon so you have time to dress up for the occasion."

"Yes, Mom."

"It's in the auditory of the posh district, so I'm taking your word on that, Sakura!"

"Yes, Mom."

Mebuki sighed, lightly swatting away her daughter's hands (which were already on the doorknob) to give her a last once over.

"Alright, alright," she finally conceded when she saw Sakura tapping her foot on the floor. "Just go if you really want to."

"Then I'm off–"

"But are you sure…?"

Sakura turned to her mother exasperatedly. "What is it now, Mom?"

Mebuki glanced at a waiting team Spandex Man by the door. "Are you sure you'll be alright with… them?"

Sakura eyed the team of four – Spandex Man's team – uncomfortably.

As it happened, she wasn't. Not at all. Starting with the fact that her opponent in the next round of the chunin exams was also on that team – and never to forget the presence of Spandex Guy himself – even if Kakashi had claimed him to be a good teacher. Sakura had her reservations, but she at least had to give it a try.

"It's fine, Mom. That's Guy-sensei, a friend of Kakashi's."

Mebuki scowled at the mention of her self-appointed adversary.

"That explains a lot of things."

Ignoring the jab, Sakura kissed her goodbye and made a beeline for the door and towards team Guy. She really wasn't sure about what would happen, but there wasn't much of a choice in the matter either.

"Good morning, disciple of my eternal rival!" shouted Guy as soon as Sakura was out of the door.

Sakura bowed awkwardly and returned the greeting. "I look forwards to training with you…" she added hesitantly, falling in step with the others as they trekked toward the training grounds.

Spandex Man junior, Rock Lee, gave her a huge thumbs up, combined with an equally impressive grin. "We shall train to our heart's content, Sakura-san!" he exclaimed cheerily. "I'm looking forward to it too!"

Sakura could almost hear the 'believe it' tagged to the end. Not having Naruto around really was strange, wasn't it?

The girl on the team, an upper classmate Sakura knew from the Academy as great with weapons, seemed a bit more hesitant to start conversation. But once she'd gotten over her reservations, nothing seemed to be more important than a thorough explanation about her thoughts on Sakura and Sakura's actions.

"I'm Tenten," she introduced briskly. "And you're Sakura Haruno, right? I'm not as enthusiastic as those two over there," she pointed at Guy and Lee, "about your butting into Lee's fight against Gaara. Don't go thinking that acting up like that'll get you places – if you weren't Kakashi's student you wouldn't even be here. So yeah…" she grinned. "Just chill, won't you?"

Sakura stared at her with wide eyes.

"I–" she stuttered, aware that it was in her best interest to answer cautiously. "I understand."

For a moment, everyone was silent.

The last member of the team, Hyuga Neji, remained utterly motionless, seemingly deeming it unworthy of his time to so much as spare Sakura a glance.

 _Gee, no need to make your distaste so obvious,_ Inner jeered petulantly. _We're already aware as it is of how much of a pile of dog shit you are, Hyuga!_

Outwardly, Sakura limited to frown at his rude behavior, biting back any of Inner's nasty remarks for the sake of her own education. Besides, they'd already arrived at training ground one.

"Shall we get started, then?" inquired Guy with his usual glittering smile.

Sakura gave an apprehensive nod, which was completely drowned out by Lee's enthusiastic shouts about his being pumped. Confused, Sakura wondered whether he didn't resent her at all for interrupting his match against Gaara. She really had only wanted to help, but Lee probably didn't see it that way, did he? He seemed so cheerful… it wasn't humanly possible. Was it all just a facade? And in that case, why was he bothering to hide his distaste towards her? It was an understatement to say that neither Tenten nor Neji Hyuga had tried to come over as nice in the least. These thoughts plagued Sakura throughout the entirety of warm-up, stretching and conditioning.

She couldn't help but glance at the stoic Neji Hyuga every once in a while.

 _I can't believe,_ scowled Inner, _that this… this dipshit's our opponent for the next round!_

Shivering, Sakura tried to pretend like none of it faced her, though she intrinsically knew that her efforts were futile. Inwardly, she couldn't stop replaying what Neji had done to Hinata in the preliminaries. If the ruthless character she'd seen the other day was him sparring against his own cousin, after five days in a killer forest, what would he do to her, a complete stranger, in the heat of battle, with so many spectators?

(Because she knew that there were always spectators for the chunin exam, and there were _loads of 'em_.)

But more pressingly, what could have possibly possessed Kakashi to let Sakura train under this… this _weirdo_ , his alleged eternal rival, and most importantly, Hyuga Neji's personal teacher, of all people? Honestly, what had he been thinking!

Sakura hated her lack of options in this. Someone like Ino, whose father knew so many of the elite, (and belonged to it himself) would have had no problem in finding anyone else to train her. As it was, Sakura would have to make do with what she had, because she was just a merchant's daughter at the end of the day, and the path of ninja had never been meant for _merchants_. Tch.

Uneasily, Sakura finished adjusting her sandals, waiting tensely for Guy's impending adjudication.

What sort of training was to come?

Contrary to Kakashi, Guy didn't keep her too long:

"Very well then!" he boomed genially as soon as all the conditioning had been thoroughly carried out. "You three, start with our usual routine! Sakura-chan, let's see what we can do with you."

As though synchronized, Lee and Neji immediately launched into a savage sparring match, as Tenten meanwhile started with target practice.

(Sakura just stood there, feeling lost.)

"Mhmmmmm…" Guy hummed unexpectedly, examining her with a critical eye. Sakura now felt uneasy in her short leggings and tank top and wished she had donned her spare dress, annoying as it may be. "I see you have quite nice arms, Sakura-chan!" (Here Sakura was glad to have thought of removing the genjutsu.) "My rival seems to have focused his training of you on the upper body, hasn't he?" he nodded approvingly. "Your legs, however, youthful blossom… would be even more youthful with quite a bit more muscle! How fast are you now?" Before Sakura could reply, Guy yelled: "Race you to the gate!"

 _What?! What gate!?_

Sakura only had time to whirl around in a sort of frenzied panic, then her mind was back on track – a track right behind Guy.

Because Guy had taken off into the sun. And now Sakura suddenly understood why they called him the 'green beast of Konoha' – he was faster than a cheetah, damnit! Entertained by her own inner raving, Sakura was quick to sprint after the green beast mindlessly. She was determined to keep up, a strange sort of pride about being on team Kakashi making her want to gag at the possibility of losing to Kakashi's passionate rival. It didn't help that she knew he'd be rubbing it in Kakashi's face as soon as he saw him – damn it, she was losing him! Sakura focused on the path ahead. They were headed to the southern gates of the village, this much soon became clear. But it similarly became apparent that, at their current pace, Sakura had absolutely no way of not making a fool of herself, like she'd just decided on avoiding _at all costs._

But as the boost of her sprint decreased, Sakura's goal of beating Guy and being 'cool' began to evolve into something more down to earth, like at first managing a draw, then keeping him in her line of sight, and finally, at least making it to the gate without having to stop to catch her breath. But this was easier said than done, as Sakura began to notice a looming sense of fatigue getting stronger and stronger, whereas Guy only seemed to be getting ever faster and faster, more fired up than ever about the whole thing. Was it her, or did he just accelerate?

Cursing, Sakura made to follow, but unskillfully tripped and nearly fell face first into the cobblestone path. She would've cussed if she'd been able to spare the chance to breathe. Instead, she heaved herself up again and kept stumbling after Guy.

 **TWISTED**

When she finally made it to the gate eight minutes later, Sakura swore that the only reason why she hadn't stopped running was a strange mix between personal pride and tunnel vision – though it wasn't enough to keep her from ungracefully breaking down on the floor immediately after arrival.

When she'd gathered her wits back enough to look up, Guy's shiny grin greeted her from somewhere above her head.

"You've fought valiantly!" he decided merrily. "Just like I would have expected from my passionate rival! Indeed, Sakura, it turns out that your stamina is not at all bad!" His teeth glinted in the sun. "Moreover, your explosive agility is equally above average, something I myself was surprised about – of course in an entirely positive and youthful sense! " Here Sakura began to smile, (this weird teacher really was better at paying compliments than Kakashi) but then, Guy ruined it by continuing with: "However! You're unable to keep going at a decent pace for very long… actually, not long at all! Your running stance is also less than ideal, Sakura, I am sorry to say that my Eternal Rival seems to have passed onto you his Eternal Slouch! You need to rid yourself of it while running, for grace is nothing less than the essence of a youthful leaf!"

 _I… slouch?_ thought Sakura, taken aback. She'd always made sure to look as graceful as possible (also known as careful application of the Mimicking Ino no Jutsu) but she supposed that she'd never checked in a mirror what she looked like while actually running.

Inner frowned, crushing an imaginary rock under her steely grip.

 _Well, I think he's just pulling this out of his ass! she objected. Specially since this weirdo was too busy winning the race, if you care to remember – with his back to us, to be able to see, never mind judge much of anything!_

However, Sakura remained tight-lipped. If this had been Kakashi, she would've been sure to give him a piece of her mind… but he wasn't.

"Alright then," Guy boomed on, clearly not as well versed in detecting her moods as the aforementioned sensei. "Let's evaluate your hand to hand combat, disciple!"

And without another warning, he launched himself at Sakura.

 _This guy's out of his mind!_ Inner yelled, as Sakura flailed about, attempting to dodge a blow to the head, which was instead nicely delivered to her gut.

"Fight back, Sakura!" she heard Guy cheer over the void in her stomach. First, she suspected, would come an attempt at breathing better than a stranded goldfish.

 _AAargh! You wanted it, you got it!_ Inner yelled. _WEIRDOOO!!!_

And then she threw a kick right to his family jewels. Predictably, it missed.

"Such character, such resolution! You are my rival's student indeed!" Guy yelled over the hype.

"KYAAA! Ya! Ya! Kya! Ya! Ya! Ha!" _I'm gonna bash his head in and rub it on the sand!_

"Oho! Your battle cries are youthful!"

 _Does it look like I freaking care?!_ "SHANARO!!!"

With each attack, Sakura gave a loud and resounding shout, swinging her body around with all the might of her pent-up frustration, hoping each time to hit Guy, who dodged seamlessly.

"Kya! Kya! Kya! Shaaa…!" _I'm not gonna let you ridicule me!_

"Nice frontal quick! Why not try a hook?"

"Argh!" That dodge was underhanded!!

(It was indeed a most enlightening conversation – or rather, monologue, for Guy was talking to thin air… in appearance alone – Inner Sakura had many things to say.)

"Lower your arms, Sakura, disciple! A youthful blossom must be graceful, now you appear to be a flailing chicken!"

 _Get lost, you stupid Spandex!_ Inner yelled acerbically. _This… is retribution!_ And she lurched forwards again.

"Kya!"

 _Take that–_ she went for a strong kick. _And that–!_ Now she attempted to kneel him as she punched… _Because no weirdo gets to make me look even worse!_

And Sakura dove forwards again, intent on landing a killer blow to the stomach.

Strangely enough though, she was soon blinking at the clouds, her fist stretched towards the blue sky as if to deliver a punch. Belatedly, Sakura realized with growing horror that Guy had flipped her over like a scrambled egg – onto the floor. Her elbow hurt. Breathing properly seemed impossible.

Guy crouched in front of her, making Sakura's teeth clench and her cheeks flare.

They stared at each other, Guy's face peculiarly assessing, Sakura attempting to hide her shame.

Finally, Guy's countenance split into a grin.

"You're more spirited than I thought, young Tulip!" he praised enthusiastically, shaking Sakura's shoulders like a rag doll.

It was tricky to get a read on him. Guy always acted so cheerful and passionate that it was actually difficult to detect what he truly thought of her skills.

"Your stamina, my Tulip, appears to be MUCH greater once you have a precise goal in your mind!" Guy blabbered on, tapping his head. "You youthfully put all of your being into your punches, just like a true warrior should!"

Sakura nodded slowly.

"But I'm afraid to say… your technique is quite rudimentary."

Ouch.

First came compliments, then the real critic… Sakura was starting to see a pattern here….

And she was starting to get annoyed.

"My technique is not rudimentary," Inner spoke for her decisively. "My Academy instructors can attest to that! I'm capable of demonstrating all thirty five different forms of attack that we've been taught!"

Guy's smile was still in place, but he didn't seem to be particularly swayed by Sakura's logic.

"Yet you didn't apply any of them just now, Tulip," he pointed out. Sakura leveled him with an annoyed stare, but Guy kept talking: "You've only used frontal and lateral kicks, combined with direct punches and a backwards swing whenever I made you turn." He looked at her, his countenance the picture of good vibes as he kept listing her countless mistakes. "Whenever you throw a kick, both of your elbows lift – that's a direct opening of your defenses. You've never tried to deceive me, pretend you're planning to attack in a different area… only to strike elsewhere, when your opponent moves his other defenses away! For it is therein, that lies the beauty of combat! The thrill of the fight! The trickery, the struggle of wits and wills, the critical knowledge of yourself and your opponent, the implacability of a focused mind…!"

Seemingly forgetting his earlier concerns, Guy began to passionately rave about the merits of taijutsu, leaving Sakura staring at him, irked and offended.

 _I don't lift my elbows like a chicken!_ she thought, attempting to suppress tears of frustration. _I'm a good fighter. I… please, I don't want to suck at this too!_

"Shall we return to the others?" Guy offered, apparently realizing that Sakura was no longer listening.

Sakura nodded quietly, though dread was forming in her gut.

 **TWISTED**

When they made it back to training ground one a few minutes later, Neji and Lee where still sparring and Tenten was industriously throwing knives to deflect other weapons.

Sakura stared at the trio, dumbstruck at their level of skill.

"Very well done, Lee, Neji, Tenten! I shall be with you in a moment!" Guy promised. "It is clear to me that the three of you do not require of my presence to work at your hardest!"

Then he glanced at Sakura.

"As for my dear rival's youthful Tulip… I have just the exercise for you!"

Curious, Sakura cocked her head to the side. _What, you'll make me dig a hole to pot your flowers of youth?_

Inner Sakura snickered. _Sorry, Kakashi already outclassed you in that one. I know all about making hole genjutsu!_

Again, Guy remained oblivious: "We'll be working on…" he paused dramatically for added effect: "Horse positions!"

In the background, Sakura heard Tenten groan. She frowned.

"Those are different leg placements designed as the varying stances of the taijutsu forms… right?" Sakura recited with skepticism. "They were taught to us at the Academy when we were seven," she deadpanned.

"Oh, but the horse positions are so much more!" gushed Guy. "They are the foundation of battle! They will strengthen your legs, make you more nimble, add sense to the different forms you may have learned…! And it is not enough to just know them in your mind, you must know them with every ounce of your being! Mind, without their mastery, my Tulip, the taijutsu student is nothing!"

Sakura frowned, skeptical. "Alright…" she agreed slowly.

"Perfect then!" cried Guy. "Let's start with the basic tse pig ma… great. Now in da bo… very good, I see you remember quite a bit, as expected of my rival's youthful pupil. And… change to tse bo… no, no, you just need to change the weight on your legs… your back should remain straight. Think of youthfulness!" Arching her back, Sakura twisted her hip to its maximum, her knees parted and her feet in parallel. This was really uncomfortable. Had it been like that when she was seven? Guy was shaking his shiny head. "The way you're now, dear Tulip, it looks again like a chicken laying an egg."

 _What's with all the chicken metaphors?_

Sakura flushed crimson. She could practically feel the rest of Guy's students judging her. Guy himself bulldozed on with his corrections, seemingly unaware of the horrible predicament he'd managed to maneuver her into.

"Don't lower your back!" he repeated enthusiastically. "That's it, perfect! Now go for diu jok… No, your front toe needs to have no weight supported on it, just the tip… yes, like that. This time you have to twist your back slightly, no, no, like so…"

After a grueling amount of time, embarrassment and trembling limbs (Sakura's legs had started to burn after the first two minutes) Guy became confident enough in her ability to walk herself through the form (consisting of the repetition of the various horse positions) on her own, and moved onto training the other three, occasionally coming back to remind her of the correction of little mistakes or when he saw her slacking off.

But then it began to rain. Sakura felt miserable, yet refused to quit her training if the others wouldn't. Thankfully, salvation came half an hour later, when the pour-down had gotten remarkably worse, in the form of Lee tripping and reopening one of his injuries from the match against Gaara.

For once looking worried, yet still in control, Guy plopped Lee onto his shoulders, shouting that he'd promptly take him to the hospital (else he would do two thousand pushups), and not to worry for he'd return as soon as possible (else he'd do squats). Then he was gone in a blur.

 **TWISTED**

Uncertainly, Sakura glanced at Tenten (who didn't seem too intent in humoring her and soon busied herself with training) and then at Neji Hyuga, trying to discern what he thought of the whole ordeal.

"Guess I'll return to the horse positions…" she ventured awkwardly.

This time, Neji actually acknowledged her existence.

"Why are you doing this?" Upon meeting her eyes, he sneered.

Sakura pointed at herself questioningly. He was actually talking to her now? Not to Teten or something?

Neji's sneer only intensified. "You" he grit out with unabashed contempt, "will stand no chance against me when we fight in a month's time." He scoffed. "It's ludicrous. Why delude yourself into thinking that one month worth of training will change your destiny?"

Sakura stared up at him, her mouth dropping agape.

 _Should've seen this coming…_ Inner groused.

"I… You don't know what kind of skills I have," Sakura defended.

 _That's right!_ Inner said. _I bet he wouldn't have survived an encounter against two S-class ninja, or even those two fights in the forest!_

Neji snorted.

"Setting traps? Genjutsu? I honestly can't be bothered to find out. Please, do you even know what my skills are?" Suddenly, Sakura was intensely reminded of Guy and his recent ramblings about 'knowing yourself as well as your opponent'. Neji was clearly enjoying himself as he peered at Sakura condescendingly. Smirking, he jeered: "I have a bloodline limit," and you do not, "that can and will see through any of your traps, through any of your genjutsu, and through any other of your pitiful fabrications. I was destined to success, can't you see?" Neji chuckled. "And who are you? Sakura Haruno? Never heard of it before."

Sakura felt desperation extending through her insides like a swallowed cube of ice. He was right, the git!

"I am a fair shinobi," Neji carried on, "and so I will warn you now: desist, before it is too late." He smirked. "Do not interfere with what is destined to be, for I intent to fight Uchiha Sasuke in the next round, and measure my pure bloodline against his predictable, sharingan-bred arrogance."

 _Arrogance_.

"Sasuke's not arrogant!" Sakura immediately defended, latching onto that one conviction and ignoring all of the other unsettling things which Neji had said. She could feel Inner rapidly taking over, and for once, Sakura relished it – no cause for alarm this time – Inner would hopefully give the odious bully a piece of her mind.

In her classical acerbic tone, she grunted: "If you're so hot and bothered about it, Neji Hyuga…" Sakura raised her striking green eyes to meet his dull white, her face twisted into a mirroring sneer, "…then I suggest you censor your own words a little more." She grinned. "After all, you might be disappointed to learn that an ego as huge as yours doesn't always breed the youthfulness of a flower. Which one would you be, I wonder? Oh, I know," Sakura threw Neji a disdainful slant. "A daisy."

Neji stiffened, just as outer Sakura managed to forcibly box Inner away from the steering wheel.

 _…too late,_ she realized apprehensively. _Letting go was **so** not a good idea. _

But the damage had already been done.

"What did you say?" Neji hissed.

"Nothing," Sakura murmured, gulping. "Nothing."

Neji approached her with narrowed, milky eyes.

"You speak undermining words of me… you call me arrogant." Apparently the Daisy incident was going to be ignored. Neji was still hissing. "As if you, a mere civilian, were superior to me." He paused, looking at her like an eagle looks at a dove it's about to prey on. "If you're so eager to prove your own value in this world to me… then come."

And just like that, Neji dropped into a very familiar (and terrifying, Sakura tried to ignore this) battle stance.

Tenten, who had carried on with her target practice, seemed to sense the impending fight and came running. Glancing between the two of them, Sakura believed she'd interfere for a moment, but, seemingly reaching the opposite conclusion, Tenten gingerly plopped down onto the ground between them and kept her silence.

"Come at me…" Neji repeated, his voice carrying over to Sakura above the wind and the rain, challenging. "Or do you want extra time to arm your traps… Sakura Haruno?"

Biting her lip, Sakura fingered her weapons pouch uneasily.

"I don't need underhanded tactics to beat the likes of you!" Inner spat hotly.

Neji smirked.

"We'll see… "

A/N

Guess you didn't see that one coming, huh? I realize that for any Neji fans out there this is probably not a treat to read, but please keep in mind that I'm just keeping him in character in the same way I can't have Gaara behave like anything other than a killer raccoon just yet.

Natuto's Friendhip No Jutsu (plus punch in the face) hasn't been applied just yet.

(As always, reviews motivate me.)

(And I will try to reply to them as soon as I get my hands on a laptop.)

Cheers!


	31. Preamble

Sakura and Neji Hyuga stood facing each other, rain cascading onto their backs and mud building under their soaked toes.

Sakura could feel her heart beating erratically in her chest, a swarm of nervous butterflies in her stomach. Neji was staring her down. There was a searing calm shimmering through his milky eyes, betrayed only by the contemptuous flaring of his nostrils.

The girl in front of him was so vapid, so utterly plebeian–

As he examined her more critically, he noted, with no small amount of satisfaction, that she appeared to be sufficiently cowed by him.

"Well?" he called. "I'm waiting."

Sakura clenched her teeth. Her recent taunting parade had been arguably one of Inner's worst slip-ups to date – Kaguyas's hell-horns, she knew that she couldn't hope to beat Neji – but at the same time, a part of Sakura refused to back down. _Not anymore!_ it raged. Even Sakura's cautious side was starting to resent her own inability to show confidence. So far, she had only fought when there was no other possible way out, when she'd absolutely had to. But had she ever stood up for herself, for her own pride?

 _Not that I recall._

She'd always been more of a textbook tactician, (her moto: avoid confrontation if at all possible) but today, after all she'd gone through recently, now that she had been forced to fight, she realized…

…that she could win. She could do it. The forest of death had not only provided her with vast experience, but also with courage. And now Sakura was tired of being cowed, of feeling inferior to Ino, and to Sasuke, and to all the other genin of higher upbringing than her own. She was tired of trembling like a leaf under duress, she was a shinobi, damnit–

She would fight.

And henceforth Sakura lurched towards Neji, barely managing to avoid skidding face first into the mud. It was a mad dash, but Neji was prepared. He dodged Sakura's punch and delivered his own brand of jabs, the 'gentle fist' he called them.

 _Typical_.

 _Gentle my ass!_ crowed Inner. _More like the buffalo fist! What the heck is this guy's deal?_

Neji had smirked at the look on her face.

"With each hit that you take, I'm disabling your chakra points," he informed. "It's a surprise that you've managed to last this long, but your luck will wear out now!"

He launched another attack, and Sakura didn't even have time to defend herself. Neji might not be as energetic as Naruto, as aloof and classy as Kakashi, or as overwhelmingly cool as Sasuke, but, as Sakura quickly realized, he was just as dangerous as either of them. His strength lay in his eyes, ever observant, and in his analytical and surprisingly logical approach to fighting. He saw everything Sakura was about to do before she even knew it herself; and then he acted on it, balancing defense an attack in an objective analysis of which needed to be applied when. He might not be like Sasuke, who was always incredibly careful and made sure to cover his tracks to perfection, or like Naruto, who went into the field brazenly and relied on his intuition… no, Neji was objective above all, and the worst thing about that was that his way of doing things worked like a charm against Sakura, who had always tried to rationalize her own fights as well. Tricks had always been what she fell back on whenever things went south.

But there was nothing, not one such trick, that could be kept from Neji. Sakura knew that the only way for her to beat him would be to absolutely overwhelm him with power… which she didn't have.

Sakura had always sought cover before attacking. Back in her genin days, she'd only ever taken calculated risks, those where her chances of a passing grade would be one hundred percent insured. But this was a real fight, and, no matter how smart she fought, Sakura knew that her usual 'award points for technique' wouldn't cut it. There was either victory or defeat, and absolutely nothing in between.

 **TWISTED**

The match against Neji wore on and and on and on, and Sakura was forced to accept very early on that her prediction had been embarrassingly off.

She was losing spectacularly.

Each attempt at a punch was countered by one of Neji's precise jabs, each twist of her wrist, each flickering wire, innocently attached to a kunai, was expertly catalogued by his analytic gaze. And then, at some point, Sakura could no longer move.

The situation was, in a way, similar to her poison-induced predicament back at the forest. The feeling, however, was distinctly different. Back then, Sakura had been bursting with energy and desire to move yet couldn't, now she felt crippled, as though someone had popped all of her energy as though it were a ballon. Her movements quickly got sluggish, imprecise, and lastly, impossible to execute. Her knees began to tremble, and then, with a triumphant roundhouse kick, Neji sent her careening into the mud. Sakura's face splashed against it hard, swallowing a mouthful of grimy dirt. She'd already been soaked to the bone, but now she was additionally covered in mud and humiliated, completely unable to move.

From above her, Neji had the presence of mind to console her.

"Don't worry," he said haughtily. "I didn't use much force, so your tenketsu haven't closed completely."

He didn't stick around after that. From her position in the floor, Sakura heard his footsteps fade into the sound of the pouring rain.

He had left, she realized, just like that.

 _Didn't use much force…_ her mind could only echo. Sakura felt sick. She lay on the floor miserably, wishing the earth would simply swallow her on the spot. She was shaken out of her brooding thoughts by a tap on her shoulder. Sakura gloomily raised her head. A tissue was in her face. Blearily, she realized that someone had actually extended to her, and Sakura felt immensely glad for it. Grabbing it slowly, she glanced at the person crouching in front of her.

It was Tenten, Neji's female teammate.

"Thank you," Sakura croaked gratefully, wiping mud off her face.

Tenten nodded, her gaze distant.

"Neji's like that with everyone," she admitted, not looking her in the eye. "Us too, sometimes." Sakura suppressed a sigh. She didn't want to talk about Neji. The tissue was appreciated, but Tenten could take her reminiscences elsewhere. Either way, Tenten didn't seem to notice her discomfort or care. "Neji's just… a genius," she breathed out. "Beyond the scope of our understanding. I know it's harsh to realize that there's someone out there who can beat you in anything, but it's the truth." Tenten shrugged, smiling a little. "Lee's still in denial about it."

Sakura merely nodded, her jaw clenched unbearably.

"I'll return the tissue…" she chocked out finally, and bolted out of the training ground. She couldn't stand this any longer.

Behind her, Tenten gaped, eventually giving a befuddled reply.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura ran towards her house, overcome with a frenzy of negative emotions.

Why had Neji Hyuga beaten her so easily?

She felt humiliated. She felt powerless. She felt worthless.

But then, just as she was turning a corner, Sakura glimpsed a posh caffe on the other end of the streets. And that's when she remembered where exactly she was supposed to be heading.

The posh district! She could've slapped herself. _Of course_. She was supposed to attend some kind of event with her family. Now terrified of her mother's possible reaction to her tardiness (she was already late) Sakura bolted into the opposite direction of town. Shit. She'd have no chance to get changed! It was still raining cats and dogs, so by the time Sakura managed to find the auditorium where the event took place, she was late, soaked, and partly caked in mud. Not exactly her dream appearance, but Sakura knew she couldn't simply not show up.

 _But we can't go in there looking like this!_ Inner complained.

Sakura couldn't help but agree.

 _True. We look positively disgusting,_ she thought derisively.

But there was no other option but to go in as she was.

 _What's being a ninja good for if it gets you into this sort of predicament?_ thought Sakura resentfully, eyeing the gigantic, posh doors.

 _Wait, but there is!_ Hadn't Kakashi taught her how to cast a hole genjutsu? A hengue probably wouldn't work, because, as Iruka-sensei had said, sustaining it for long periods of time was very difficult, and Sakura didn't feel like taking any chances. But a genjutsu… Carefully, she cast a glance at herself in the mirror. She would make it work.

 **TWISTED**

"Sakura… you made it."

A positively dry and nicely-dressed Sakura nodded at her parents, putting distance between them before either could attempt to give her a hug and realice how soaked she actually was. Her parents would bring her home instantly, and Sakura didn't want to ruin this for them. Eyeing the performance, she realized that she'd ended up assisting a…

"What's this called?" she asked uncertainly, glancing at the stage.

Mebuki chuckled."Why, those are ballerinas, Sakura-chan. I'm surprised you didn't know."

Sakura nodded slowly, not taking her eyes off them. Truly, the figures bellow were captivating. She remembered thinking that no matter what the performers did, a ninja coul outmatch them easily. Be that as it may… Sakura gasped as the dancers all performed a completely in sync, flawless pirouette. Not even she could do that!

"It's so beautiful…" she breathed. Ninja were all about efficiency; what moved them was a deadly sense of accuracy and duty. But this? This was art. The dancers were one with the music, and Sakura could practically feel emotions pulsating off them, like… like…

She couldn't say. It was all so exotic, so different from what she was used to. She could feel all of her fears, her desperation and sadness from the fight against Neji, all of it simply fading away. For the first time in what felt like ages, Sakura smiled. And she truly meant it.

 **TWISTED**

When the performance was over Mebuki took her hand and whisked her away.

"So? Did you or did you not enjoy yourself?"

Sakura smiled. "Coming was the right call, Mom. It was great."

Mebuki gave a satisfied nod. "I happen to know one of the lead dancers from the hair salon I go to. Let's go say hi."

Sakura flushed. "Do I need to come?"

Mebuki barked out a laugh. "C'mon, Sakura. I know you want to. Don't be shy…"

Sakura blushed even more. "I'm not shy!"

"Just come already," coaxed Mebuki. "You'll see, Ringo-chan is very nice."

Ringo-chan was indeed very charming, and pretty, and feminine, and anything else Sakura had ever yearned to be. She remembered seeing her at the front row. Ringo had been one of the most involved ballerinas, right in the thick of everything. It was different seeing her from up close though, Sakura thought. She had a vivacious mane of incredibly curly, jet black hair (which Sakura guessed must've been kept in a plaid during the show) and an exotic pair of scarlet eyes.

"This is my daughter," Mebuki introduced cheerfully. "I think she's about your age, Ringo-chan."

Ringo smiled at Sakura warmly, and Sakura returned it. She seemed nice!

"Did you like our performance?" Ringo asked. Startled, Sakura realized that the inquiry was being addressed at her.

"Yeah…" she said dreamily. "It was so… so…"

Ringo chuckled. "I know what you mean. It's hard to describe, isn't it?"

Sakura nodded avidly.

"You know," Mebuki threw in. "Sakura has always wanted to be a dancer!"

Sakura was jolted our of her happy cloud. What?

Ringo giggled. "Well she certainly has the right built! I'm sure she'd do great."

"I think so too!" Mebuki exclaimed enthusiastically. "Maybe you should try it out, ne, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura's eyes widened, horrified.

 _So that was the purpose of this!_ Inner hollered. _Mom wants us to quit our career as shinobi!_

Ringo was still smiling at Mebuki though. "Becoming a dancer is hard," she cautioned, "but Haruno-san is certainly welcome to try".

"Maybe you will, won't you, Sakura?"

Sakura stared at her mother furiously, nodding only for politeness' sake.

They would be having a serious discussion as soon as they got home.

"Maybe I'll give it a go sometime," Sakura said frostily.

Mebuki burst into happy clapping, chatting with Ringo some more. Sakura, by contrast, was practically shaking with anger.

 **TWISTED**

"What were you thinking, Mom, throwing me at the dancer like that?!" she screamed as soon as the door closed. "You're sorely mistaken if you think I'll let my teammates down like that!"

Mebuki didn't seem faced by her tauntrum. "Sakura, I think you're the one who's severely mistaken."

"Ah, prey tell!" cried Sakura. "How am I mistaken?! Is it wrong to want to help my teammates? To fight for what I love?"

"Dear…" Kizashi threw in placatingly, but was quickly interrupted by Mebuki.

"It's not wrong, Sakura, but sometimes we have to be shellfish! You need to quit before something fatal happens to you. Hashirama knows you've had a close call already. The profession of a shinobi is dangerous! And not only because of our enemies; there's terrible people here too, Sakura! They'll try to use you and–"

Sakura glared at Mebuki. "Maybe so, but quitting or not quitting, that's my own choice to make!"

"But you're too young to–"

"I'm legally an adult! I have been since the day I became genin!"

A stark silence stretched over the room. Finally, Mebuki gave a deep sigh.

"Sakura-chan…" Kizashi took over. "Do you know why we sent you to ninja school?" Sakura shook her head mutely. Kizashi harrumphed. "About time we told you then. Growing up, you were very shy… really shy, you quite lacked confidence…" Sakura flinched. What a nice way to put it. Noticing her stare, her father quickly amended: "Of course, you were very intelligent and mature for your age, Saru-chan! But physically, and socially, you'd been lagging behind your peers… your mother and I were worried." Sakura frowned. She'd always been bad at those things, but had it really been so extreme? "We decided to send you to ninja school so you'd grow some bal– I mean, courage," Kizashi carried on, laughing awkwardly. "We wanted our little girl to be confident in herself. We wanted you to be able to protect yourself if the need arouse…" Kizashi smiled both at Mebuki and Sakura. "Even so, you exceeded all our expectations! We'd never have thought you'd do so well so as to graduate, Sakura. What with all those clan heirs in your year, that's quite a feat, you know?" Kizashi grinned. "Originally, our plan had been to eventually pull you out of the ninja school, so that you could come with us in our business trips across the land of fire. I was sure you'd make a great merchant, Sakura, and some experience in fighting would certainly help you out if our caravan ever got assaulted by bandits."

Sakura's mouth fell agape. "So you didn't want me to become a ninja?"

"Your mother was very much against it, Sakura. But then I saw how much it meant to you, how much you were growing as a person…"

"He convinced me to let you try out for the genin exam," Mebuki said. "But only once, was our agreement. Yet you passed with flying colors." She smiled at Sakura faintly, and Sakura could only smile back. "I'd been certain you wouldn't make it through the taijutsu part," Mebuki added cheekily. "I never helped you train for it, and now I'm sorry I didn't."

Sakura gulped, nodding. "Training for taijutsu was hard for me," she confessed. "I admit that I was always putting it off, rather revising some theory or chakra control exercises instead."

Mebuki nodded, unsurprised. "I know… I used to help you with those as a kid, didn't I?"

Sakura smiled fondly at the memory. Thanks to mom's help, chakra control had always been her strong suit, right from the get go.

"Taijutsu? Isn't that hand to hand combat?" Kizashi inquired suddenly.

"Yeah," Sakura said. "You know, it's odd. I always thought that I sucked at it, but now I realice that it's just that I lacked practice. I'm actually quite good, I think."

Mebuki frowned. "You're average at best, Sakura. What you really excel at is chakra control."

 _I thought so too, before the forest of death…_ But now Sakura knew better. The fight against Neji had been a harsh wake up call – Sakura was aware that her taijutsu capabilities were by no means stellar, but her beating Ino at the preliminaries had convinced her that she was good at it, if only she put her mind to the task.

In reality, Sakura shook her head. "Nope, Mom. You didn't see it in our spar before the exam, but I've got some crazy arm strength! I even managed to knock out Ino! And it's not like chakra control and taijutsu can't be combined! Did you know that I figured out tree walking on my first try ever? And my stamina's actually a lot better than I thought it was!"

Mebuki frowned. "I'm not saying that you'd be a bad shinobi, Sakura. I'm just saying that there are other, safer alternatives to pursue which you would like just as much."

Sakura frowned deeply. "Then you should've thought about that before letting me meet my team, and Ino, and all of the others I can't let down!"

"It's not yet too late for you to drop out, Sakura!"

"I won't! I'm not letting down my team!"

"That Hatake bastard and his senseless preaching!" Mebuki grit out furiously. "Now you listen closely to me, Sakura! Those two boys don't need you, and you don't need them!"

"Yes we do!" Sakura screamed back, thinking of the forest.

"Do you even know who they are?"

Sakura smiled widely. "They're Uchiha Sasuke, my future husband to be, and Uzumaki Naruto, your future Hokage. Believe it!"

Both her parents stared at Sakura incredulously for a moment, then burst out laughing. At least, Kizashi did. Mebuki was livid.

"Well, I'm sorry that you'll find out this way, but you need to know. Fucking Kakashi's keeping you in the dark about it, isn't he? Even though you're a member of the team!"

Sakura gulped. She wanted to jump to Kakashi's defense immediately, but at the same time… what was it he was keeping from her?

"Firstly, the Uchiha is the last survivor of his clan," Mebuki began darkly. "If he marries, it'll be to a recipient of a strong bloodline to pass on to his offspring, and you do not posses such a bloodline. Are we clear?" Mebuki snarled grimly. "Most possibly though, he'll likely be killed or kidnapped before he even reaches manhood."

Sakura's eyes had gone wide. What? Was that why everyone was after Sasuke? Sakura had known that something was up with his clan or whatever, but she'd never given it any thought. Only now did she begin to wonder about the implications behind his solitude. What did it all mean? Why was he the last Uchiha left? Her eyes widened. That could only mean that he… that he had no parents! No family! No one to take care of him, or scold him, or, or… Sakura's hands went to her hair, running through it wildly and desperately. How could she have missed something so vital…! She had known that Naruto had no parents, but…

"Now secondly, as for your other teammate…" continued Mebuki. "He'll never make Hokage."

Sakura bristled. "He might be a little bit immature and clumsy right now, but Mom, you can't just outright dismiss him like that! He's got potential–"

"It's nothing like that," Mebuki said. "No matter what he does, how many missions he completes, what rank he reaches, society will always despise Naruto… Uzumaki."

"But why? You aren't making any sense!" cried Sakura. "What's Naruto even done for you to say that!"

"Don't pretend you haven't realized," droned Mebuki. "I know you've seen it, Sakura. The way other people treat him, how they look at him… I know you've seen it."

Sakura gulped. She had. Being on a small team with two others who disregarded Naruto's issues, she'd almost forgotten what it had been like back at the Academy. How everyone had treated him like the dirt below their feet.

"You yourself," continued Mebuki, "used to complain about his being annoying, rude, and–"

"Stop!" yelled Sakura. She couldn't bare to hear that. With growing horror, she realized that Mebuki's words had once been the truth.

Her mother was looking at her inquisitively, searchingly. "I'm happy to see that you're open-minded enough to consider that boy your comrade now," she said seriously. "But as someone who used to look down on him, I hope you will understand how ingrained in society Uzumaki Naruto's ostracism is."

Silence.

Slowly, Sakura began to nod grimly. Yes, she couldn't deny it. She had been one of those people who called him names behind his back. She gritted her teeth hatefully. How could she have? To someone like Naruto?

"But why? I don't get it! Even if he played some stupid pranks… he doesn't deserve…!"

"Because…" Mebuki took in a deep breath. "Because of his bloodline, the Kyubi was sealed inside of him."

 **TWISTED**

Sakura gasped, her mind going blank.

Mebuki never joked, and even less so in a situation like this. After a few minutes where Sakura barely even dared to breathe, she realized that…

"You're serious."

Mebuki nodded.

 _Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic…_

Finally, she grit out:

"Does he… does Naruto know?"

"I can't say… perhaps."

Sakura's hand was shaking uncontrollably. She bit the insides of her cheek to ground herself.

"But… but why?"

Mebuki sighed, glancing around, and Sakura suddenly realized that Kizashi must have left the room quite some time ago.

"One of the most ancient Ninja Arts is fuinjutsu," her mother explained slowly. "Fuinjutsu is basically the ability to make seals."

Sakura frowned, wondering where she was going with this fuin-whatever business.

"You mean like exploding tags and such?"

Mebuki nodded. "It's an almost extinct branch of nindo, and combat applications are rarely seen these days, besides for exploding tags, sealing scrolls, and a few other variations of similar principles."

Sakura frowned. "It doesn't seem very relevant…" she muttered cautiously.

Mebuki's eyes rose to meet her own."It… isn't. It's a waste of time, Sakura. Don't bother with it."

"Then why are you telling me all of this?"

"To you… to you and me, and every other ninja here, it may be worthless," Mebuki said. "Our contemporaries' fuinjutsu skills are subpar at best – but Yondaime-sama, with his eidetic mind, managed to use it in order to seal the kyubi inside of a container. A human container."

"What?!" cried Sakura. "But why Naruto? That was twelve years ago! He would've been a baby!"

"Yes. But what mattered was his bloodline."

"You mean the whole Uzumaki thing?"

"Yes. Their clan is almost extinct now, but their bodies are perfect for sealing."

Sakura frowned. "And why is that? Why Naruto? Why a baby?"

Mebuki sighed. "Their bodies are perfect to contain tailed beasts, because, for one, they heal very quickly. And, as you may have noticed in your teammate, their chakra comes in great potency and quantity. Their bodies are built to handle great amounts of energy, which is why the likelihood that the Kyubi's chakra will be able to break out of Naruto is much slimmer. As long as he's got chakra left – and the seal still works – those two will put a damper on the Kyubi."

Sakura breathed with relief. Luckily, Naruto never seemed to run out of chakra. But still… all those times they'd sat right next to each other, slept next to each other, trained next to each other… what if the Kyubi had suddenly broken out? What if there was a malfunction in the seal? What if…?

"Calm down, dear," demanded Mebuki. "Naruto himself won't bring you into danger… but many villages and threats will logically target him, because he is, in a sense, Konoha's last resort and trump card."

"What?" shouted Sakura. "You mean they'd release the Kyubi onto the other villages if things got south?" She couldn't believe it. After so many people had died… after so much chaos… after the yondaime Hokage had given up his life to keep the Kyubi in check… they'd just release him again? To kill millions of unsuspecting villagers? Even if they were an enemy country, how could anyone do that? And what would happen to Naruto?

Mebuki crossed her arms. "Him," she concluded. "And Sasuke Uchiha, and even that teacher of yours, are all trouble magnets."

Sakura frowned. "Sensei's very capable…"

"His sense of normality is completely skewered," Mebuki interrupted. "Sakura, in the mission to Wave, when he realized that the client had lied about the difficulty level… Hatake didn't return to the village. Anyone would've made that call, but he didn't!"

Sakura flinched. When her mother put it like that… was it Sensei's fault that Zabuza had nearly killed all of them? On the other hand, if team seven hadn't helped out in Wave, a whole country would've been submitted under Gato's terror regime. What were four lives, in the face of so many others they could (and did) save? Though still… at the same time, didn't everyone want to stay alive? Didn't everyone have a right to make their own choices in order to live? Couldn't everyone be a little shellfish, like Mebuki had said? Why did shinobi have to give their life? Why did Sakura have to risk her own? She flinched, recalling a catchy ninja song that had been drilled into her mind since she was a child.

 _Once the mission has begun,_

 _we shinobi are on the run,_

 _just be stealthy and keep mum!_

 _Even with our life in doubt,_

 _We can't let enemies find out_

 _about the mission; shut yer' mouth!_

 _The wise shinobi knows of course_

 _to always heed the captain's choice,_

 _for the better or for worse!_

 _And his life he often spends_

 _fighting bravely till the end,_

 _for his village and his friends!_

 _All heil Konoha!_

Sakura blanched, the old song that she and her class had all chanted at the beginning of every code of conduct lesson seeping back into her pores eerily. Back then, it had had a festive and heroic feel to it, but now…

She shivered.

"I need some time to think, Mom."

Mebuki sighed. "That's all I'm asking you to do, Sakura. You'd make a great dancer, or a merchant, or a doctor, or a researcher, or–"

"I get it, okay? Just… I need more time to mull things over."

Mebuki nodded, giving her a peck on the cheek. "Good night, Sakura. Sleep well!"

Sakura smiled back tiredly. "I still need to take a shower…" and get all the mud from my face. She suppressed a giggle. Mebuki's lips were caked in it now.

 **A/N:**

 **So? How was it? I think pretty much all of you guessed what was gonna happen here. But it _needed_ to happen. Think about it: how many times in anime have you seen the protagonist have a first confrontation with the antagonist, which turned out badly, and then a later one, after rigurous training?**

 **I could think of quite a few examples. Naruto (pretty much every villain) HxH with Hisoka, Kenichi Shirahama, liar game, Hikaru no go, and even death note and bakuman. The list is endless.**

 **On another note, starting now I will get back into my regular updating schedule every Friday.**

 **Bye!**


	32. Shikamaru’s Wallowing

"Shikamaru! Get outta bed right this instant!"

What _was_ with her son? Yoshino huffed, frustrated beyond belief. At first he wouldn't sleep, now he did nothing but. Urgh! Teenagers.

"What?" grumbled Shikamaru tartly. His slouching figure appeared in the doorway closely afterward. "It's early morning, you demon incarnate."

"It's _nine_. That's late, damnit! You used to start school at six thirty."

"Not really. I used to sleep until fourth period."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Then quit muttering and get to breakfast! And be sure to eat plenty, you hear? Today you'll be training with your father."

"For real? Dad's coming?"

"Yes. Now eat!"

Ditching his team (and thereby Ino's whining) for the day was an extremely appealing plan, so henceforth Shikamaru proceeded to eat his share quicker than usual, which had even his mom eyeing him up and down – particularly the dubious cup of tea which he was busy chugging down his throat. It was multitasking indeed, albeit gross.

Whatever might be motivating Shikamaru's odd behavior, it had nothing to do with his old man finally dropping by. Shikamaru should be glad his father never had time for him, actually. It was a thought he often entertained. Who knew? If his old man had been around more, maybe he would now be _Whinymaru 2.0_ – just like Ino. Now that would be a drag. He'd once mentioned it to his mother in passing, and her reaction had been to laugh in his face. To make matters worse, Yoshino had then asked to notify her the day Shikamaru stopped complaining about "everything on the wake of the earth". Shikamaru had answered her: "What a drag."

And Yoshino had told him to _drag_ his ass upstairs and clean his room.

When Shikamaru had finished breakfasting he'd found Shikaku waiting for him outside.

"So, son? What's it gonna be?"

"Sorry?" Shikamaru scratched his ear and yawned, pretending to be clueless.

Pinching his nose irritably, Shikaku proceeded to rephrase his statement with a tremendous roll of his eyes. "If I may be allowed to speak, what is it you wish to work on in this wonderful day of self-fulfillment?"

Shikamaru returned the eye roll tenfold. Didn't he know that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and all that?

 _…must be the hangover_.

Shikamaru decided to turn his mind to what actually mattered – just this once:

What did he want to work on?

Usually he would've drolly chorused: "Improvement of my justu" because that was what took the least effort and also where his strengths lay. Not that he wanted to impress his old man of all people – that would be more like Ino. Shikamaru's style was to chill in class, chill in missions, and chill while his demon mother shouted at him. But not this time. He remained quiet now; he was indecisive.

The past few days had been for him almost worse than the second exam itself, an onslaught of memories and nightmares. Shikamaru wasn't the type to worry, his attitude in life was to take it easy after all… but the bags under his eyes said otherwise. At the very least his subconscious was deeply unsettled by what had transpired a few days ago, that much was clear.

The nightmares, the doubt… they were all issues Shikamaru had never really had to deal with before. Since when had he been reluctant to take a nap? Since when had he even doubted his choice to become a shinobi?

It was a foreign concept altogether.

For as long as he could remember, Shikamaru had been shoveled with proof again and again of his father's intellect and aptitude, almost like gospel. His dad: the brightest in all of Konoha. His dad: he who could slack off but regardless remain on top of his game. He could be the most uncool ninja in Konoha yet still remain indispensable for the nation.

It was life in easy mode, basically.

Shikamaru cherished easy. He coveted easy. And in a way, he had always behaved a little like that too, to an extent. He didn't care whether he was dorky and uncool, he thought, because being 'cool' wasn't all that valuable in the grand scheme of things. So why put in the work? It'd be troublesome more than anything.

All Shikamaru had ever needed was right there with him, in his head. Admittedly, he did like it when Asuma-sensei praised that particular piece of his anatomy ("Nice head on your shoulders you have, kid, keep it that way," "Which one? The nice part or the head part?") But at the end of the day, Shikamaru didn't want the limelight for himself. It was overrated, he thought. What he'd always wanted, if he could, was to lead an average life. He'd be an average shinobi, marry an average wife, and have two average children with whom he intended to play shoji every single day. Eventually, Shikamaru might have to take on his duties as clan heir, but that prospect seemed very far.

Asuma-sensei wasn't kidding when he said Shikamaru liked to think ahead, but now his careful planning had been shattered.

Become an average shinobi? It sounded good on paper, but Shikamaru had learned what happened to _average_ : they died.

Even if they were non-the-wiser, average ninja relied on luck only to avoid kicking the bucket. One mission gone wrong and it was over. Shikamaru rather preferred playing it safe. He relied on planing and certainty, on accountable variables – not on luck. He didn't want to die, and he just now realized that a lot of shinobi did. What an absolute moron he had been! Of course shinobi died. He'd always known that, intellectually. But it wasn't the same thing to live through death, to see someone you know come _this_ close to it, than to know it was something that happened eventually.

But death wasn't just _something_. It wasn't an abstract concept in the way the elders liked to portray it. Death could be a kunai, a red berry in the forest, or maybe you just went to sleep one day and didn't wake up.

Death.

Corpses.

Luck.

It had nothing to do with being able to plan, Shikamaru had realized. Death could come in the shape of anything; it was imposible to factor in every single danger into the equation. Until now, he'd never even fathomed dying of anything other than old age, never mind passing away before reaching thirteen.

Perish the thought, not Shikamaru.

But the one thing that had truly been his wake-up call (he really did like to nap) had been his ex-classmate, Haruno Sakura. Even now, it was hard to wrap his mind around. Had that really been her? That same preppy girl who never even tried in sports class because it was unlady-like?

Yet it _was_ her. Sakura's ongoing metamorphosis represented what could've been and what might yet still be. She had made Shikamaru realize that his team could have died, that they'd been immensely lucky. If they had gotten team seven's hand in all of this, Sakura's hand, Shikamaru was positive they'd bee dead three times over.

It hit specially close home because Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto were all people he had grown up with. They'd had the same teachers as Shikamaru in the Academy, been fully fledged ninja for the same time. And yet… it could've been team ten who Dōzu and Gaara had been after. And that begged the inevitable question, the question which wouldn't cease to plague him: would they have withstood the assault?

Not damn likely. It was troublesome: god level.

He tuned back into reality when his father moved over the yard to sit in the shadow of a tree.

Yeah, definitely a hangover.

Shikamaru coughed. "I'd like to try and expand my chakra reserves," he decided at last. It was the one aspect of training which he hated the most.

From his perch on the tree, Shikaku barked out a laugh. "You think you can just snap your fingers and get to it? Chakra reserves grow as you do, oi. They expand only if you use your chakra frequently and consistently… rather like a muscle, to put it plainly." He fixed Shikamaru with a lewd look. "If you slack off, son, that chakra muscle will atrophy. Deepening one's chakra reserves ain't something to be accomplished in a day, or even in a month; otherwise everyone would be an elite jonin, and that would mean we could kiss our quaint lives as we know them goodbye. "

 _Goodbye to your booze, too._

Shikamaru grumbled to himself. There was no way he'd ever be consistent enough with his training to get big chakra reserves, in that case.

"Instead, we could work on your chakra control," suggested Shikaku, as though reading his mind. "When it improves, you'll notice that you have much more chakra to spare. Not to mention you will be working on your reserves at the same time."

Leave it to his old man to come up with the perfect plan. Well, Shikamaru wasn't complaining.

Twenty minutes later and he was. This was nothing like the exercises he'd performed at the Academy. Shikaku made him thread his shadow into fine forms and multiple different strings, moving many creatures at once with them, and on and on it went. It was an excruciating practice. And when Shikamaru couldn't go on with the shadow possession justu, his father made him practice tree-climbing without hands.

It was a monumental drag.

 **TWISTED**

 _Report to hospital at noon. Need checkup on chakra fluctuations._

 _-Kakashi_

Fantastic. Sakura told Guy that she couldn't make it to training that day and spent the rest of the morning penning in her crazy life experiences into the shabby notebook Kakashi had given her. It was a methodical therapy of sorts, one in which nobody stuck their nose into Sakura's business.

At quarter to twelve, she left her house en route to the hospital, wondering why they couldn't have done the damned checkup three days ago, when she'd also been there with her team. It felt like a long time ago already.

"Sakura-chan! What cha' doing here?"

"…Naruto?" The blonde was crouching on a plastic chair in the waiting room, looking ecstatic to see her. Sakura jogged up to him. "Hey, nice to see you!"

Naruto grinned wide. "Ditto!"

"Have to get a check up as well? Stupid Baka-sensei just sent me this flimsy note!"

"Ha-ha! Sucks to be you, Sakura-chan! Nah, I just gotta come here a buncha times a year! Old man hokage says I have to. Stupid geezer…" Naruto pulled a face. "When I'm hokage, I'll place ramen dispensers in every corner of the hospital! Believe it!"

Right. Sakura had almost forgotten that this was Naruto. She felt a pang in her heart suddenly, remembering what her mother had said about the sheer impossibility of achieving his dream. About the ostracism. Since he was a baby.

"Hey, Naruto…" the blonde turned toward her, looking put out by her seriousness. "Haven't you ever wondered who your parents were?"

The question loomed over them like a descending blanket. Naruto's eyes lowered, and for the first time since Sakura had known him, his expression wasn't of exalted happiness or competitive. It was heartbreaking.

"I don't know. Old man hokage would never tell me."

He didn't even know their names? Sakura felt her heart clench.

"Naruto… but we know their surname! Uzumaki, am I right? We just need to check!"

"Sakura-chan…" There was a pause. "YATTA!" Naruto hopped off the chair and threw his arms around her in an enthusiastic (read: asphyxiating) hug. He seriously hadn't thought of that? "It's true! You're so smart, Sakura-chan! When I'm hokage, I'll make you my _con-seller_ , BELIEVE IT!"

His joyousness was heartwarming as much as it was contagious. And Sakura did believe it.

"Hey! Don't try to take advantage of the hug, moron!" She plonked him right on the head. "And it's counselor, for the record."

Just then, someone interrupted their little moment.

"Uzumaki?"

"Hmm?" grumbled Naruto.

The speaker was a medic with weird dreadlocks. Sakura thought his hair looked as colorful as a toy-kite. "It's your turn for the checkup, Uzumaki-kun," briefed the kite medic.

Naruto stood up. "See ya, Sakura-chan! Remember our promise!"

So it was a promise now?

"Goodbye…"

Sakura frowned to herself. The chances of Naruto's parents being ninja were astronomical, considering what her mother had had to say about the Uzumaki clan. And considering that shinobi and civilians didn't mix, (her parents were a rare exception) probably both of Naruto's parents had been ninja. Which meant… their records were in all likelihood kept under lock and key in… Sakura didn't have to strain her mind too much to remember that particular piece of info.

 _…the ANBU archieves._

She shuddered. Sakura really _was_ a trouble magnet, wasn't she? The ANBU HQ was probably the safest spot in the whole village, which was the safest location in the whole land of fire. Which meant a bunch of obnoxious genin (never mind that Naruto would be on the team) couldn't even dream of getting in and taking a nice, long look at a bunch of files – which they'd have find first.

Sakura had seen only two ANBU in her whole life. Long story short, never seeing one again would be too soon for her.

One time had been a very brief glance at school (an agent had haunted down Naruto after a particularly dumb prank – that was how pissed the Hokage had been), and another time, she'd seen an operative as a child. Sakura had been only eight, but the image was engraved in her brain.

The ANBU had been crouched on a rooftop, melting into the shadows of dawn in a way that almost rendered the agent invisible. It was by coincidence that Sakura had even spotted the shadowy figure: she'd been stalking… err… _following_ Sasuke-kun on their way home from school, but he had unexpectedly stopped by a dango stand to buy something.

Scared he'd catch sight of her, Sakura had sought cover on a tree that was easy to climb yet high enough that Sasuke wouldn't look (she'd really done the craziest of things for her crush) and that was when she'd looked upwards a little and… seen _him_.

Even today, Sakura was convinced that it had been a him, in spite of the inky ponytail swaying at his back. It was very obvious that he was a shinobi just by his precarious perch on top of a pinnacle, but what had really clued Sakura into his being in ANBU was the katana strapped to his back. Most shinobi used kunai for defense, as distractions or simply as cutting tools; but katana swords were created with only one purpose in mind – to kill.

It was then that Sakura noticed his armor, the cold metal and steel protections gleaming under the glare of the setting sun. What was this? She'd never seen shinobi who went into combat wearing an outright armor! Even jonin kept religiously to their camouflage slash cushioning vests.

But the one thing that had impacted Sakura the most was his deadly white face – blank and emotionless and so, so empty. Even though she'd been far away, she could just make out two black, bottomless holes where his eyes should've been – they were so terrifying that she'd nearly screamed at the sight.

Today, Sakura knew that he had just been wearing a mask, but back then she hadn't been able to stifle a terrified gasp. By the time she'd dared look up again, the ANBU had been long gone. Thank Hashirama.

Sakura had sniffed for nearly an hour after the 'encounter'. Even her mother had found her, she'd been clutching the tree like a horseback rider might hold onto a particularly rebellious horse. Sakura's exaggerated reaction might have had something to do with the fact that, as a small child, her parents had used to tell her horror stories about the nightmarish ANBU, who would come and get her if she misbehaved. They were the worst threat a parent could dish out, and that meant something, considering.

It would be an understatement to claim ANBU the creatures of the shadows. They were ninja whose official existence was kept hush-hush, even at the Academy, where one supposedly learned everything about ninja.

Unlike with other subjects, Sakura had never tried to research the ANBU. Only knowing about their existence – that one of them might live just across the street – scared her already. In a way, they were the faceless guardians of Konoha, but still nothing like, say, a jonin, because they stayed out of the limelight at all times. No one knew who was an ANBU and who wasn't. For all that Sakura knew, Kakashi-sensei could be hiding a white, porcelain mask under a loose tile in his flat!

The thought gave her crawls.

 **TWISTED**

After the incident when Sakura had been eight, she and Ino had speculated about what kind of monsters those shady ANBU really were. Did they suck out your blood and have nine eyes? They could be lurking anywhere. Eventually, Sakura had learned that they were real, flesh-and-bone humans.

(Humans, maybe, but monsters nonetheless.)

The thought was almost worse. Sakura had learned the hard way that sometimes, as a ninja, you had to chose between killing or getting killed. Strikingly, even this sinful deed couldn't compare to the day-to-day of your average ANBU. They were the ones who took on all of the hardest, near-impossible missions – those no other nation dared complete. Despite of it, the dropout rates were small. It wasn't just the difficulty level though. Ino had once eavesdropped on her father complaining about the lax mental health regulations in ANBU. His job sometimes (rarely) involved helping cure ninja with psychological trauma, and more often than not, those were ANBU. Most of them, he'd said, were beyond help. The mandatory psychological evaluations for the operatives were only tailored to catch extreme cases of dementia – anyone with a modicum of intelligence could fool the test if they wanted. Many of them did.

But it didn't stop there: Sakura had once heard her mom tell her dad about ANBU's dropout rates. She'd been very bitter back then, because a friend of her who had joined ended up KIA after only two months. (Of course, Sakura wasn't supposed to know that. Neither was she supposed to know what KIA even meant.)

But she did. She had checked, and Kakashi-sensei had shown them the hard, stony truth on the day they became genin.

Killed.

In.

Action.

There had been many names on the cenotaph.

The cause? The result?

"She didn't even have time to drop out!" Mebuki had hollered through tears. "Kosu-chan was slaughtered on her first mission! They lied! She didn't know what she was signing up for!"

But then it was too late.

The dropout rates might be alluringly low, but the confidential stats, those of the operatives who went KIA, MIA or insane, were bound to be confidential for a reason.

Sakura always thought her dad was very intelligent, very good with numbers. Her mom said he sometimes was too perceptive. She'd said so on one particular family dinner, when Kizashi had been telling Sakura about the difference between net income and gross income, and picked their own country as an (inaccurate) example.

"Konoha's a very rich country," he had explained. Kizashi, as a merchant, would sure as hell know about that. "But the thing is, Sakura, according to my calculations, Konoha's legal means of income can't represent all of the actual money." Sakura's eyes had gone wide. Even Mebuki dropped her chopsticks.

"But how's that even possible?!"

Kizashi had only said one word, a deep frown marrying his face.

"ANBU."

Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai.

Special assasination and tactical squad.

Of course, the special missions, the ones who happened under the table, received an especially high reward.

ANBU, Sakura had at some point realized, killed and maimed for money.

And she had just promised Naruto to help him sneak into their secret archieve.

 **A/N**

 **So… who could this mysterious Mr ANBU have been? Hmmm… doesn't he seem familiar somehow? He did have a ponytail and was observing Sasuke… oh, right, I know just the perfect fit!**

 **It must've been Tenzou ;)**


	33. Look Past What You See

Sakura sat alone in the hospital for quite a while. Naruto had yet to return and nobody had called her up thus far.

But of course, Naruto did eventually come back.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Thanks so much for waiting!"

"I'm not waiting for you, you dork!" Sakura couldn't help but say. "I'm waiting for this thrice damned checkup to start already!"

"Still? HAHAHAH! That's so lame!" Naruto actually had the gall to laugh in her face. But then he proved himself useful by saying: "Hey! I have an idea! Oi, you, Mr Weird-Haircut-Number-Two, give Sakura-chan her check up, ne? It's important!"

Toy-kite medic with the purple dreadlocks (yes, that one) looked taken aback. "You're talking to me?"

"Yeah, believe it."

"Well…" He looked at Sakura uncertainly. "If it's just a checkup… I could. I'm the newbie here, so I'd probably get roped into it in any case."

"You mean it?" Sakura exclaimed. Finally, the waiting was coming to an end!

"Sure. Follow me."

"I'll be waiting for you here, Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled.

Sakura gave him a final wave and trotted after the medic.

It got awkward quickly.

"Thanks for the trouble…" said Sakura again.

"Don't sweat it, I'm here because I chose to be."

What a penchant to randomly recite epic phrases. Though that begged the question… Was Sakura where she was in life because she chose to be?

"Niko! Niko!" Any answer she might have offered was interrupted by a small girl which tumbled out of nowhere. Like an exaltation, she shot into the medic's unprepared arms. Surprisingly, he withstood the assault.

"Kyoka? Why am I not surprised?" Niko gave Sakura an apologetic shrug, which turned slightly pained when the little girl adoringly started pulling at his dreadlocks.

"I love your hair!" she exulted. "When I'm older, I'll grow it out just like yours!"

What exactly was she trying to achieve then? Leave him bold?

Sakura could sort of sympathise with Niko's indigo-colored deadlocks – taking care of those ought to be any girl's nightmare! – but pulling them off wouldn't help anybody.

"Kyoka? I'll be with you in a minute, promise. I've gotta tend to this pretty lady first, yeah?"

"You're still prettier, Niko-chan!"

"Err, thanks."

"And you're a princess, lady!"

"Uh." Sakura didn't feel like a princess. "Dully noted?"

"Alright, bye," said Niko hastily and strung Sakura along. The girl's shouted farewell was still ringing in her ears half a minute later.

"Well, that was…" she really didn't know how to finish the thought.

"My daily routine, for one."

Sakura laughed. "Are you serious?"

"Pretty much. Kyouka is my youngest patient. Nasty case of chakra metastasis – but she'll be right as rain in no time. Now come in here…" Niko opened a door and let Sakura in. "Please take a seat."

Sakura plopped down on a chair, and so did Niko.

"So, a regular checkup?"

"No… actually. Kakashi-sensei said to check my 'chakra fluctuations'."

"Huh." Niko stood up and began pacing the room. "I assume you're a ninja then?"

It was the first time a non-ninja had asked her that! Sakura nodded proudly. "I've my ID on me, though I left my hitai ate at home."

"Don't worry, the ID will do."

Sakura fished it out of her bag – she knew that shinobi's hospital bills were taken care of by the administration. Right on cue, Niko glanced at it intently, gave a nod, and returned it.

"Sakura Haruno, huh? Wait just a moment, I must check something with my colleague." Niko disappeared through the door, and Sakura was again left alone.

A while later, the medic reappeared and gave her a smile. "All taken care of. You can walk out of here as soon as we're done – no need to pass by the administration desk."

"Great, thanks! You really didn't have to bother."

"I'm just happy to help. Shall we start with the chakra scan?" Sakura nodded. "Very well, then please lie down on the examination table."

Sakura complied. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Niko make a basic hand-sign.

"You're a ninja?" It was idle curiosity that prompted her to ask.

"Huh?" If his hands had been free, Sakura was sure Mr Toy Kite Hair would have scratched the back of his neck. "I used to be, actually. But I switched professions."

"What? Just like that?"

Niko made a few other hand-signs and nodded. "A lot of my comrades… well, I guess you could say… I had survivor's guilt. They were not beyond saving, my comrades, but no one was there to. I realized that, as a medic, I could've been the one to make a difference."

Sakura's eyes widened. "That was… that was pretty deep to just tell a stranger."

What a penchant for epic speeches. Wait, she'd spoken out loud, hadn't she? That sounded like a really superficial thing to say after such a story. "I mean! Not many people are as selfless as you, Niko-san!"

"Oh! Haha! Well, I try." He smiled to himself. "At first I actually wanted to be a full-time psychiatrist, but now I've started… branching out."

"Awesome!" But something he had said… Sakura remembered what Ino's dad had once claimed, about the dementia rates in ANBU. It was a very far-fetched guess, but he did just say he had started off as a psychiatrist. To be honest, Sakura didn't even want to know the answer, but she asked anyway.

"Were you in ANBU?"

There was a pause.

"Sharp you are, Sakura." His voice was suddenly that bit cooler, that bit more enigmatic. Or was Sakura just imagining things? "For obvious reasons, it'd be best if you didn't go shouting this from the rooftops."

Well, she had already told someone. Him.

Shit. Would he kill her now?

Sakura raised her head to muster him intently, every muscle in her body coiled and ready for action. Maybe the forest had scarred her more than she'd have thought.

Niko (the name Toy-Kite-Medic seemed suddenly preposterous) had a tall, lean figure and battered knuckles. How hadn't she noticed before? It was clear just by his build that he'd been a seasoned shinobi. A medical mask rested upon his shoulders, and for one Sakura was very glad that he wasn't wearing it. One Kakashi was enough for her, thanks very much. This Niko though … he actually looked like the opposite of Kakashi.

He had really tanned skin and long, blueish purple dreadlocks, which had colorful rings stuck at the ends. The contrast with Kakashi's pallor and serious outfit was a no-brainer. No wonder that little girl earlier had liked Niko so much. His curious fashion choices conferred him a rather cheerful air, a complete juxtaposition to Kakashi's careless demeanor. But a happy-lucky-go ANBU? Seriously? Was it a facade or the truth?

If anyone wanted the complete description, Sakura could go on saying that his eyes were olive green and he had freckles all over his face and blah blah blah, but what had struck her as odd was the lack of scars on his face. She'd imagined ANBU operatives to have lots and lots of scars everywhere (even she had one and she was just a genin), but as far as she could tell, Niko's skin was unblemished. Did that mean he was an extraordinary fighter, or the type who left the fighting to his comrades? In any case, it'd be best if she was ready for anything.

"Hey, chill, Sakura," Niko said suddenly. With a start, she realized that her hand had been inching to a non-existent weapons pouch. He really had seen completely through her. "I'm not planning to attack you all of a sudden, okay? As a matter of fact, many of my patients know I was in ANBU."

Say what? Niko laughed at her stumped look.

"Of course, that's because many of my patients _are_ ANBU." He smirked. "Kindred spirits, I guess you could say."

Sakura didn't know what to think anymore. "Say, Niko-san…" but perhaps she could use this chance. "I was looking into getting into ANBU myself, eventually…" definitely a lie, "so how does it stand for me? Are the security measures so extreme? I was thinking to apply maybe for a guard position for the achieves or something…" Now there was some truth in that statement, though mostly Sakura would be trying to get passed the guard. C'mon! If she played her cards right, maybe she could worm some intel out of Niko.

"Hmmm… well it's not like I have seen you in combat or anything, Sakura… but getting into ANBU isn't for everybody, y'know?" Not terribly tragic, honestly. Sakura kept quiet though. She wanted Niko to talk, not the other way around. "And besides, it's not like they'd let you choose your occupation. The guard-duty roosters rotate, everyone gets the assignment at some point."

"Right." Well that was bad news. Her imminent trip with Naruto into the ANBU achieves didn't bode well at all, in that case. Dakota had been hoping that maybe the ANBU with surveillance duty eventually became used to the easy life, making it more feasible to get past them, but apparently they were all trained killers through and through.

Niko gave her a devilish side glance. "You're not planning to sneak in, are you?"

Talk about mind-reading. Sakura hoped he hadn't been paying attention, because she'd gone completely stiff. "Ahahah! So funny, Niko-san! No way, why would a defenseless genin like me want to do that?"

Why, indeed.

"I was wondering the same thing, as a matter of fact," said Niko. He liked to cite facts a lot, Sakura noted. "Of course, it's all in good fun. I love getting to know new people and exchanging jokes with them. You are very funny, Sakura-chan."

Right. This guy was so innocent it could only be an act.

"Maybe not those ANBU patrols, but you sure have gotten used to the easy life, Niko-san!"

"Wanna test that theory?"

"Are you threatening me?"

They burst out laughing. Sakura's was slightly forced. She was desperately trying to lighten the atmosphere, so she grinned, and jokingly said: "Such a slacker you are, Niko-san. What happened to that checkup?"

"Oh, that. Almost done! Just give me a sec'."

One second turned into five seconds, and five seconds into five minutes. And then…

"We're done. Those chakra fluctuations are nothing worth mentioning. Typical in growing teens, specially if your chakra reserves are undergoing significant changes. I've stabilized the whole thing, so you should be fine."

"Alright, thanks a lot!"

"No worries. See you, Sakura."

"Yeah, bye!"

Sakura left the waiting room with a thoughtful look on her face. She'd just met an ANBU. And he'd seemed so _normal_.

"Hey, what took so long? I thought you'd left without me, Sakura-chan!"

She gave Naruto a placating smile.

"Never."

"Ha! Score, score! Wanna grab some lunch, Sakura-chan?"

"This isn't a date."

"Ja, ramen it is, then!"

Sakura decided to go along with his whim for once, and hurried to follow Naruto down the street.

"So, how's your training been going, Sakura-chan?"

The dreaded question arose.

"Well…" She thought of Neji wiping the mud with her face and of Guy's utter thrashing in taijutsu. "It's going swimmingly! I feel like I'm learning so much under Guy-sensei's gentle tutelage!" Sakura wondered whether she was being sarcastic or outright lying.

"Haaaah?! Figures !The teme said the same thing! I'm the only one who isn't learning squat!" shouted Naruto.

Sakura glanced around surreptitiously at the noise, apologizing to another customer who was glaring at them.

"Well… you're bound to be doing _something_ , right?"

"If by something you mean playing stupid board games, then yeah! I'm doing plenty of something!"

"What? That can't be right." Sakura thought about what Kakashi had said. Teaching Naruto to think before acting. Well, it sounded good on paper, but seriously? Board games? That ought to be pushing it.

"Well tell them to stuff it!" she suggested. "Asuma's supposed to teach you, not entertain you!"

"Well I already did! But stupid Cigar-Cigar wouldn't listen! He said he won't teach me nothin' until I beat Shikamaru in a game of shoji!"

Cigar-Cigar? Sakura resisted the urge to burst into cackles and tried to concentrate on the other part of the sentence.

"So. Beating Shikamaru, huh? How difficult can that be? I can't remember him from the Academy, which must mean his grades were subpar. Don't worry Naruto, we've got this!"

"Yeah, yeah!" He paused. "But how? I don't even know the stupid rules!"

 _Figures_.

Naruto wasn't one for following the rules, was he? Sakura, however, was a different story.

"Lucky you, Naruto," she said haughtily. "Ino used to call me 'Sakura the brainiac' for a reason, you know? This beautiful, intelligent teammate of yours will get you out of this mess in a jiffy."

"Sakura-chan, you're the best! Let's kick some butt!"

 _While playing board games, that is._

Sakura then proceeded to drag Naruto to a store and buy a book on shoji.

"Mind if we go to your place?"

"Fine…" Naruto looked a little reluctant as he set a course to the other end of town. After a few minutes, they made it to an urban area which was known for all the old people that lived there.

"That's where I live!" The blonde pointed at a building in front of them.

Sakura eyed the apartment block. To be honest, she wouldn't have guessed it was Naruto's. It looked so plain.

The inside was a different story though. He'd made himself a makeshift drying rack which crossed the length of his little flat, and there were posters of varying outrageousness on the walls. Sakura outright threw the calendar with the nude girls out of the window.

Naruto looked properly chastised after that (or alternatively, properly regretful of agreeing to bring her). But Sakura was surprised, in spite of herself. Besides the few oddities, Naruto's place wasn't anything like she might have imagined.

"This flat is spotless." Was it sad that she sounded so shocked?

"Ahaha… I went on a cleaning spree the day we returned from the forest. I gotta be neat if I wanna be Hokage!"

What kind of logic was that? And more importantly, what kind of normal human being celebrated their escaping a killer forest by cleaning?

Sakura felt as though she was meeting a different Naruto here.

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she said:

"Alright, let's just get down to this."

This being a ridiculously complicated board game named shoji.

It became apparent very quickly that Naruto couldn't understand the rules. They just wouldn't get through his thick skull!

But Sakura wasn't quitting.

"Change of tactics…" she muttered.

"Huh?"

"Naruto. Instead of me explaining the rules to you, we'll do it the other way around."

"That doesn't make any sense, believe it."

"It doesn't have to. Now get to it. I'm not leaving until you help me 'understand' shoji."

This promised to be a long day indeed.

 **A/N**

 **Welp, we met an ANBU. It was probably not the one you'd been hoping for though :p**

 **I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't all that eventful, but I promise it's just a set up for the next one which is extra loooooong! (I would still appreciate it if you let me know your thoughts though!)**

 **Ja, till next week, awesome people :D**


	34. Grand Theft Haruno

"Alright, man! You know the plan, right?"

Naruto nodded at his clone. "'course I do! Beat Shikamaru's ass at shogi!"

"Mhmm! Sounds great! First, he'll think we don't know nothing, but before he realizes it, we'll have him cornered!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" A third Naruto jumped out from behind the couch. "Sakura-chan made us go through all of those techniques yesterday… We've already memorized the damn book!"

The other few dozen Naruto clones in the room nodded smugly. They'd spent all of the previous day reviewing the games imprinted on the shogi book – games which had been recorded at actual profesional competitions. At any rate, even if Naruto didn't understand all that much why he was doing something, he'd be able to pull out some serious moves on Shikamaru.

The thing was, Sakura-chan had warned him against doing so. She'd said that, if Shikamaru was any good, Naruto would have only one shot at beating him: when he lowered his guard.

"In short," she'd surmised, "you need to look like a moron while leading him into a trap."

"That'll be easy, believe it!" With a sudden jump, Naruto dispelled all of his clones at once, and was promptly plagued by a headache.

"I feel like someone's trying to stuff a whole book's worth of info into my brain!" He complained to nobody in particular. "Wait. That's what's happening!"

And indeed, Naruto was relieving every single game each of his clones had studied yesterday and all throughout the night – which were a lot.

"Ahhh… I need a break, man…" and he plopped down on the couch. After an extended nap, Naruto decided that enough was enough. Resolute to win no matter what, he bolted out of the house.

 **TWISTED**

"Naruto, you're late!"

Ino sure was similar to Sakura in some things, like greetings. But for what it was worth, at least Sakura-chan didn't use such a shrill old-lady tone on him.

Annoyed, Naruto stuck his tongue out.

"Bleh! See if I care, Ino-snob!"

"You stupid little…! How can Forehead even stand you?"

"Right back at ya, blondie!"

"You're blond too!"

"So what? I'm gonna become Hokage anyway!"

"Agh… what a drag," mused Shikamaru from somewhere on the ground. "Blond people are troublesome."

Ino began shouting that he was ridiculous, but Naruto meanwhile turned to Shikamaru with a concentrated frown.

 _Just you wait till I show you how troublesome I can be! Believe it!_

 **TWISTED**

"Impossible…"

"This can't be happening!"

"No way… nom nom… I ran out of potato chips!"

Every member of team ten was staring at the board with a look of disbelieving awe.

"You beat Shikamaru?!" Ino shouted at last.

"Sure did," bragged Naruto. "Hahaha! And you fell for my act!"

Shikamaru scowled at him, looking suddenly wide awake. "I'll definitely beat you if we play again," he said defensively. "You just took me by surprise."

"More like by sleep," muttered Ino under her breath.

"Nu-huh! A promise is a promise, Cigar Cigar! You gotta train me seriously now! Believe it!"

Asuma, who still looked stumped, nodded slowly. "I assume at this stage you've realized what the point of all these board games was?"

"Make me lose against Sasuke! But that ain't happening!"

"Not even close, Naruto." Asuma took a chug of his cigarette. "The point was to make you learn to think before acting… though I never expected you'd actually manage to beat our Shikamaru here."

"Troublesome. Will you stop saying that as though it wasn't just by some stroke of luck?"

"I beat you fair and square!" Naruto yelled defiantly.

"Yeah, yeah, and how is that possible?" countered Shikamaru. "Yesterday you didn't even know the rules."

"Sakura-chan helped me out!" Now Naruto looked smug more than anything. "She told me to explain those dumb shogi rules to her until she got them, so I read up on this dumb book! Who's the dumb one now, huh?"

"Moron!" shouted Ino loudly. "Forehead-girl didn't tell you to explain the rules to her because she didn't understand them, but rather because that was the only way to get you to focus!"

"What 'cha talking about?" interrupted Naruto. "You're just jealous of how smart I am!"

"Whatever," muttered Ino darkly. "I don't want to hear this."

With a last scowl Ino's way, Naruto turned to Asuma expectantly. "You promised, Cigar Cigar!"

Cue expectant silence.

With a resounding sigh, Asuma finally caved.

"…fine. I guess there are still a few things I can teach you in regards to strategy, Naruto." Asuma, was looking at him speculatively. "Rumor has it you guys already went thorough a tough time at Wave country," he began.

"How'd you know about _that_?!"

"It's a rumor Kakashi confirmed for me," mused Cigar Cigar placidly. "He also said that your team performance on that mission could have used an improvement."

"Whaaaa–"

"So… why don't we review it, eh? What do you say, Naruto? Feeling up to it?"

"I… guess."

" _Waitwaitwaotwait_!" yelled Ino. What's this I hear about a crazy mission Sakura went on?"

"It's the story of how I beat an S-class ninja on my first ever mission outside the village! Believe it!"

"What a drag, of course we don't believe it."

"I believe someone's stolen my potato chips."

"That's got nothing to do with anything, Choji!" Ino shouted. "We want in on this, Sensei! If you're gonna review that mission with the idiot, so do we!"

"I'm not an idiot!"

Asuma gave Naruto a cryptic look. "Idiot or not, are you fine with them seeing your memories of that mission?"

"What do you mean 'seeing'?"

"When I said 'review' I meant it in the most literal sense of the word. Kurenai knows a jutsu to do just that – thought we might as well use it."

"Seriously? Does that mean I get to watch myself beat up some thugs again?"

"I… suppose."

"Great! Then let's do this!"

"Yeah, let's!" repeated Ino. "Alright, Naruto?"

Naruto gave her an annoyed look. "Why do you even wanna watch, anyway?"

"I gotta keep tabs on my rival, ne?"

"You mean Sakura-chan? Pffft!There's no way you're still rivals! She totally wiped the floor with–"

"–SHUT UP, SCUMBAG!"

"OH, YEAH? THIS SCUMBAG WILL BECOME HOK–!"

"Alright, calm down kids," interrupted Asuma drolly. "I'm gonna tell Kurenai to come by tomorrow. I'll see you then."

And with that, he was gone.

 **TWISTED**

After another long morning of training, Sakura was once again beyond tired. She was getting desperate already, the feeling that she was making no progress at all overwhelming. She'd been sparring against Guy and practicing the Hashirama forsaken horse positions since literally five in the morning, yet nothing seemed to come of it. Progress was slow (read: non-existent), and Sakura felt as though her performance simply worsened every single time.

"Heya, Sakura-chan!" She'd been ambling down the street to get some lunch when she saw both of her teammates walking towards her. "We've been looking for you!" said Naruto excitedly. "Guess what? I beat Shikamaru! Believe it!"

"What – seriously? Congrats! I knew you could do it, Naruto!"

She'd had her doubts, but he didn't need to know that.

"Yeah! You should've seen Ino's face! She looked constipated out of surprise!"

Sakura could imagine. But wait, what was with the weird metaphors?

To her left, she heard a scoff, a scoff which only one person could pull off as a chuckle:

Sasuke.

Yikes! With how loud Naruto was, Sakura had almost forgotten he was there.

"Good morning, Sasuke!" she chirped happily. It was a wholesome feeling, to be together with her team again.

"Morning. I see the dobe roped you into one of his harebrained schemes, huh?"

"I'm not a hare!"

 _No one claimed that._

Sasuke deigned him a bemused huff and eye roll, which in his language meant 'sure you aren't'.

 _We sure are well versed at reading him!_ exclaimed Inner.

YepReading as a whole was one of Sakura's strengths, but reading people was taking it to another level.

 _Kya! We're **good**. _Sakura smiled to herself.

"So how's your training been going?" she asked. The question was mostly directed at Sasuke, in order to find out whether he at least was making any progress, but Naruto instead took the answering upon himself and proceeded to narrate all over again what he'd already said yesterday.

(Sakura could tell that she wasn't the only one tuning him out.)

"But that just begs the question…" muttered Sasuke suddenly, "where is Kakashi?"

"What are you talking about!" exclaimed Naruto. "What have Choji's potato chips got to do with Kakashi-sensei?"

 _It's called change of topic, you dunce._

"I bet he's been using these days to read those dumb books of his," said Sakura snidely. "Important things to do, my foot!"

"Well I think he's been training the teme in secret! Wanna bet?"

"No," said Sasuke simply.

"Why don't we look for him?" suggested Sakura before they could start fighting. "This is the perfect afternoon for a quaint little mission, don't you think?"

Sasuke gave her a blank look. Naruto seemed confused. The thing was, Sakura needed some cash to buy herself some weapons, and she needed it _ahora_. But she wasn't about to confess to that.

"Yeah!" said Naruto suddenly. "Mission! Mission! Last time we went on a real one, I learned how to climb trees without hands! Maybe this time I'll learn how to…"

Apparently he didn't know what he wanted to learn. Sakura glanced at Sasuke, who said nothing.

"Ja, then let's look for Kakashi-Sensei!" she gushed. And off they went.

 **TWISTED**

"…you want to go on a mission? Now?" Kakashi looked at them skeptically. "Don't you have better things to do?"

Naruto was already looking indecisive, Sasuke on the verge of leaving.

 _This calls for the guilt trip no jutsu!_

"Sensei! We just wanted to spend time with you – and this is how you treat us? Is it wrong to miss performing comunal service for our beloved village? Is it wrong, huh?!"

"…We can go, if you really want to."

Plan success!

"Yeah!" Say hello to mama, my dear ryo! Sakura was mentally doing a tap dance.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was giving her a slightly disturbed look, but, so what? It was nothing in comparison to the look he'd given her after finding out she'd read his pornographic novel.

Sakura could certainly cope.

 **TWSITED**

One hour later, they'd finished their mission.

"This was so lame!" shouted Naruto. "Catching that hellcat, my butt! I didn't sign up for this!"

He had, actually.

Unlike him, Sakura was quite content with their task, because that particular mission (which involved retrieving the unfortunate pet of the lady daimyo) paid a lot.

"Ehhh… with that being said, today's mission is over. Dismissed." Kakashi was particularly enthusiastic.

"We're done already?" yelled Naruto, outraged. "No way! It hasn't even been an hour yet! Lately, all of our missions have been so boooring! Believe it! When are we getting an S-rank, huh?!

How is getting lost in a killer forest boring, oi?

"S-rank?" Sasuke echoed. "A scaredy-cat like you?"

Great. This looked like it was going to escalate.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?" Sakura interrupted in inward panic. Did he seriously want a repeat of Zabuza? "We're still genin!"

"I want something with more pizzazz! More HUZZAH! More worthy of the future-Hokage something, yeah!"

"Uhhh, nay, nay," said Kakashi, turning away. "Ja, dismissed."

And he puffed into oblivion.

"I'm going home," uttered Sasuke next.

"Hold on just a minute!" Naruto yelled. "There is one S-rank mission we can do!"

Not this again.

Naruto's blabbering somehow worked, because Sasuke had stopped on his tracks.

"We're talking about a mission that has failed again and again… a mission only we can complete…" Naruto sucked in a deep breath. "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT FINDING OUT WHAT'S UNDER KAKASHI-SENSEI'S MASK ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

Yeah… right. That's super old news! Sakura had seen his face ages ago; she held no great regard to waste her afternoon crusading after that.

"LET'S FIND OUT HIS MOST TREASURED SECRET!" Naruto meanwhile shouted.

Right. She seriously doubted it was that.

"Why are you trying to act like you know what you're saying?" Sakura muttered with annoyance, in hopes of dissuading him. "Just give it up, Naruto. We should get back to training, ne, Sasuke?"

But Sasuke had other plans: "This is the perfect mission for a day like today," he stated cooly. According to Sakura's reading skills, he sounded almost… dare she say it? …excited!

"Ahah!" exclaimed Naruto. "I already have a plan!" Apparently Asuma's tutelage hadn't been completely wasted on him.

Sakura gave him a skeptic look. "Let's hear it then."

"PHOTOS! If we go through every pic Kakashi-sensei appears in, there's bound to be one…!"

"–I never told you, Naruto," interrupted Sakura quickly, "but I've already checked, and in every single one of them he has his mask on."

Actually, Sakura hadn't checked, but if it dissuaded Naruto from causing trouble…

"The ninja registration ID photo…" said a new voice suddenly, "…should be one of him without the mask." The speaker was a guy Sakura had never seen before. Or maybe she had, but couldn't remember him, for he had totally nondescript brown, wooly hair and equally nondescript grey eyes.

Well, his face wasn't bad, but the two purple markings across his cheeks ruined it for Sakura. She'd had enough of people like Kankuro for a lifetime!

The guy, as though not realizing he'd just butted into a strangers' conversation, gestured toward a huge camera dangling off his neck and kept talking as though the occurrence were perfectly normal: "But Hatake-san's ID is an extremely classified document… accessing it shouldn't be easy."

Right. Goodbye to you too.

"He overheard us!" cried Naruto shrilly.

He overheard you say that too, moron.

Sasuke went straight to the point:

"Who are you?"

The guy stepped closer and easily introduced himself. "I'm Sukea, photographer. I travel from east to west – anything to get a scoop."

Naruto gave him a puzzled look. "What about north and south?"

That's not even the point, moron!

Sukea apparently decided to ignore him too. "Be that as it may, here I was, looking for a scoop… and happened to overhear a most interesting conversation."

"So he DID over hear us!" Naruto yelled. "What now?! …do we get rid of him?"

Sakura had the curtesy of punching him in the head. "No, you dolt!"

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Sasuke again ignored the commotion in favor of rationality. "Indeed… the ninja regulations code states plainly that the ID registration photo must be of the entire face. It's so obvious, when you think about it."

Sukea gave him an approving nod. "We're on the same page then, ne? I can't help but ask: will you allow me to join you in this quest?"

He talks so weird… Sakura mused.

"Your motive?" inquired Sasuke sharply.

"Easy. Catching this Kakashi person barefaced will make for the biggest scoop of the age, you see."

So he didn't actually know Kakashi? Odd. There was something nagging at the back of Sakura's mind. Something was off about this guy. Or was it just that she didn't like reporters?

"That's dumb," Sakura said, more for the sake of contradicting Sukea than anything. "Kakashi would be the first to catch wind of that scoop of yours, specially since he's always hovering around bookstores. He'd end you before you can get to say 'published'!"

"Even if it gets hushed up, I'm sure I could make an amazing profit out of this," said Sukea easily, his eyes twinkling with amusement.

Amusement, which is totally misplaced, thought Sakura. How can he be amused after I verbally attacked him?

"Then…! Then…! When you get the money you'll treat us to ramen, okay? Okay? Okay?" Shouted Naruto excitedly. "Promise it!"

Sukea looked at him fondly. "I'll even throw in some dumplings."

It doesn't look as though he's lying… thought Sakura. This guy was weirding her out. If he gave her such a strange vibe, at least it wasn't for dishonesty. Why would he offer to treat them to ramen and dumplings with the money? Most shady characters would just run off with it. And what was with the fond look? Or was he just a really good actor?

One way or another, Sukea was at least quick to decide. "Ja, it's settled then, ne?"

Sakura's eyes narrowed. She knew someone who talked like that… but who? It was nagging at the back of her mind. This guy… who was he?

"Hm. Interesting," said Sasuke.

No, it was not! Suspicious, more like!

"Geez, you guys…" muttered Sakura.

But wait. Suddenly, she had a thought. The ninja ID was kept… in the ANBU archives.

Did Sukea know?

Sakura swallowed. So it was finally time to break in. Sakura felt the fear creep up on her like a wayward shadow.

But no, she had to steel herself. This was Naruto's chance to find more about his parents! They'd have to be on the lookout for any Uzumaki files, if they really did go.

 **TWSITED**

They did go.

It was dark and spacey, giving off a really creepy and basically dangerous vibe before they'd even entered. Sakura, Sukea, Sasuke and Naruto crouched on the outskirts of the complex.

"Secret documents are stored in here…" said Sakura to nobody in particular. "This is an infiltration mission!" She gave the 'photographer' a mistrustful slant. "Sukea-san… you'll be able to keep up, I trust?"

If he picked up on the sarcasm in her voice, Sukea didn't show it. "Of course. Before I took up the camera, I used to be a rank-and-file ninja."

And he didn't know Kakashi? Who was practically famous?

Yeah right.

Naruto, on his part, didn't seem particularly mistrustful of the guy, but then again, Sakura would've been surprised if he were. "Well in that case…" the blonde yelled, "let the mission begin! Believe it!"

Before she could let herself think about it twice, Sakura was off. Team seven raced through the darkness like a pac of silent wolves, Sukea keeping up perfectly, no surprises there. Sakura was especially wary of the searchlights, which roved all over the place, but none managed to expose their infiltration. There were a few chunin on standby, but none which they couldn't skirt around – Sakura imagined that the tricky part would be once they infiltrated the ANBU part of the complex.

Before she even realized it, they'd stopped before a heavy, metallic door. Like a wizard would draw his wand, Sasuke drew two metallic rods from his pouch. Crouching in front of the door, he introduced both rods and began to fumble around with the lock.

And fumble, and fumble, and fumble…

"Tch! Not done yet, Sasuke?" Naruto hissed nervously. If someone stumbled upon them, they'd be fried.

"Shut your trap, loser!" bit back Sasuke. "I need to concentrate, so wait!"

Sukea looked perfectly at peace with current affairs. "Mind if we switch?" he suggested lightly.

Sasuke looked honestly relieved at the suggestion. In a heartbeat, he sprang aside and left the fumbling up to Sukea. It couldn't have been more than five seconds when they heard the lock click.

"It opened! Awesome!" cheered Naruto, for once managing not to make a ruckus.

Sasuke seemed to have caught on to Sakura's worries, because he asked:

"Sukea. Oi, to what division did you belong back when you were a ninja?"

Sukea seemed unfazed by the line of questioning. "The intel unit which reported straight to the hokage," he replied smoothly.

Sakura turned to Sasuke with wide eyes. "That's the…"

"…ANBU, huh?" he finished crudely.

Sukea remained uninterested in the topic. "A lot happened, and now I'm retired." His shrug was so blasé… Sakura was certain now: this guy was acting.

"Considering your past, if that's the case," muttered Sasuke warily, "is it wise for you to be doing this? You'll be targeted by the ANBU."

Yeah! Just like the rest of us! Sakura wanted to exclaim. She remained quiet, regardless. It wouldn't do to encourage mass-panic now that they were on ANBU's front door.

Just then, Sukea cracked the last lock – or was that a seal? And placed his hands on the door.

"Ma, ma… No worries, ne?" And just like that, the entrance was open.

It was then that the pieces clicked. Sakura knew exactly who Sukea talked like – who he was. And a liar first and foremost, of course! That jerk!

"Ready? Let's go." Oblivious to her realization, Sukea lingered not a second longer and snuck into the room, team seven right on his heels.

Sakura paused upon entering, taken aback. The archive was, for lack there of a better word: huge. She resisted the urge to complain about the difficulty of their task for she knew that just one noise could get them noticed.

"Let's hurry," whispered Sukea suddenly.

Sakura gave him a disbelieving look. After going through all of this trouble, did he want them to get caught? Why was he talking out loud?

"I'll take that side!" muttered Naruto, and ran off.

"You moron, that's too far down!" hissed Sakura. "The 'H' is that way!" But Naruto was too far gone to hear, and obviously Sakura couldn't shout.

And so, after a moment of indecision, she rushed after him. The ANBU achieves were like a giant maze, and Sakura had trouble just to keep up with Naruto. Why was he running this quickly? And just where did he think he was going?

Wait–!

Sakura suddenly knew.

He was looking for the Uzumakis! Of course! It'd be like killing two birds with one stone. Of course Naruto would want to find out about his estranged parents! At this rate, even if she had lost sight of him, Sakura knew where this chase would inevitably lead. The 'U' section!

Without thinking twice, she threw on her scent-erasing genjutsu and used hengue to acquire the color of a wall. Naruto's parents were riding on this. She couldn't afford to get caught.

TWSITED

When she finally made it to the the 'U', Sakura couldn't find Naruto anywhere.

No matter! Now she needed to concentrate on locating his parents' file!

It was thanks to her infamous reading skills that she managed to find the Uzumakis' folder. It couldn't have been a minute when the most uncalled for happened: with a jolt, Sakura picked up on the sound of footsteps rushing her way–!

(What could she do!? What could she do!? She hadn't yet had the chance to look at the file!)

In her panic, Sakura stuck the sheets in a crumpled heap in her weapons pouch and returned the envelope to its place.

Not five seconds afterward, they appeared: the ANBU Black Ops.

"Found the last one, check," said a man wearing a bird mask. "Don't move! We'll be escorting you to an authority figure. If you do so much as twitch, we'll take it as resistance."

Sakura was having an inward panic attack, yet dared not so much as move her eyes.

She was screwed.

 **TWISTED**

A quarter of an hour later found her and her team getting scolded by the very Hokage. Kakashi had been called in as well, and laughingly forced an unwilling Naruto to bow. Sukea was meanwhile attempting to push the guilt onto their shoulders – earning himself an odd look from the hokage. No wonder, considering who he really was.

On another note, Sakura just couldn't believe their luck. Team seven was getting away with but a slap on the wrist? Just like that? They'd broken into ANBU HQ, for the sake of Kaguya's hell-horns!

One thing was obvious though: no one had realized that Sakura had taken (stolen! She almost couldn't believe it) a folder from the achieve, or the consequences would've been way worse. It felt daunting, to have the thing which could possibly ruin her career right in her very pocket, just waiting to be pulled out as she looked the Lord Hokage-sama in the eye.

That still left her wondering though, why were they getting off the hook so easily?

Now that Sakura thought of it, back in the Academy, Naruto himself had always gotten out of the real trouble, no matter what crazy prank he'd just pulled. And Kakashi could be as late as he cared to, hand his mission reports in with curt and vague chicken-scratch for hand writing… and still get off the hook. And Sasuke… was the last Uchiha. Just as Naruto was the holder of the Kyubi, and Kakashi an elite jonin.

And just as Sakura was… a nobody.

She realized then that she was completely out of their league. It made her sick.

Not only that, she felt disgusted at herself for having stolen an official document, disgusted at the world for it being so classist and unjust – so totally against merchant's kids, who had no family or titles to bail them out of trouble. In one word, she felt like heading home and being dead to the world.

"Sakura-chan? Where are you going? Don't you wanna find out what's underneath of Sensei's mask?" Naruto was looking at her worriedly. He'd picked up on her restlessness as soon as they'd been released.

On her part, Sakura realized then that he had most likely not run off to look for the Uzumaki family back in the achieve. It was just like Naruto to get lost. But it wasn't like him to even make the connection that his parents' identities had been stored in that very place.

He hadn't even known!

"Sorry, Naruto, Sasuke," Sakura murmured. She felt like the biggest moron in history. "I'm not feeling well today. Besides, I don't think Sukea's the only jerk we know with a beauty spot under his lip, ne?"

She gave 'Sukea' a last annoyed look, wondering whether he'd had fun trolling his students. For the record, Sakura was pretty sure he'd arranged for the ANBU to find them on purpose (by talking loudly) before they could get a real look at his ID photo.

"What's that supposed to mean, Sakura-chan?" Naruto yelled after her. Sukea was giving her a very wide-eyed look.

But Sakura merely lifted her hand in a wave and moseyed down the path, away from her team and away from ANBU headquarters.

 **A/N**

 **Well? What do you think? Personally, I'm pretty proud of this chapter.**

 **Cheers!**


	35. A Resolve of Steel and Tears

"Sakura! Hey! Sakura! Over here!"

Sakura had been so preoccupied with her thoughts that she hadn't noticed her very own mother calling her from across the street. She ambled over.

"Hey, Mom."

"Darling. What brings you to the shopping district?"

Would you look at that. Sakura had been so lost in her thoughts that she'd actually managed to get literally lost on the way home. _Great_.

"You look like you could use some cheering up," observed Mebuki. "C'mon, I'll take you to get some new clothes. After all, you've made it clear that you don't want to wear my dress."

"It's not like that," muttered Sakura. "It just gets in the way."

Mebuki sighed. Without further ado, she proceeded to gently (but persistently) drag her bleary-eyed daughter into a clothes shop.

"It's ninja-specific," informed Mebuki smugly. "I trust you have your ID with you, Sakura?" Upon the responding nod, she added: "let's meet here when we're both done. I'll pay."

Now _that_ managed to get a smile out of Sakura. "Thanks Mom!" She gave her a hug. As annoying as Mebuki often was, Sakura had to give her browny points for cheering her up whenever she reached a low.

 **TWISTED**

Finally, after a very thorough forage through the shop, Sakura and her mom reunited once again.

"So… show me what you've got," prompted Mebuki. "I want to know what I'll be paying for."

Right on command, Sakura disappeared into the changing room. When she came back outside, she'd dressed in a dark tank-top (which earned her a scowl) and, to her mother's increasing surprise, camouflage trousers. Mebuki arched an eyebrow. They wrapped snugly around her frame, the material transpirable yet of a surprisingly sturdy quality.

"I'm not taking any chances with anyone grabbing my clothes again," explained Sakura waspishly. "I want skin-tight wear this time over."

Skin-tight, and yet with so many pockets. The trousers alone looked like something out of a movie. Everywhere you looked, there were zips, buttons, strings – even pockets on top of pockets. And the actual top, as Sakura cheerfully demonstrated, had a back compartment as well.

Both garments looked like they could really come in handy at some point, but that still didn't keep Mebuki from eyeing the top misgivingly.

"Too revealing!" she exclaimed.

"Who cares?" Sakura shot back.

"So you admit it?"

"Don't say that like it's a crime! Ino has plenty of these!"

"Ino's not my daughter!"

After a prolonged back-and-forth which transpired in a similar manner, the two reached a compromise: Mebuki picked out a vermillion red fishernet shirt, which was mercifully not skin-tight, yet still sleeveless. It was tailored in a way which reminded Sakura slightly of the vest she'd seen Shikamaru wear, and she hoped against hope that Ino wouldn't tease her mercilessly for it. As a side present, Mebuki even picked up a pair of equally crimson elbow guards, along with a not so battered, black weapons pouch.

In essence, the new outfit _was_ quite cool, specially since Mebuki somehow managed to weedle the clerk into imprinting the Haruno clan logo (the most creative one of all – a circle) into the back of the fishernet shirt and elbow guards.

"I'd wager it difficult for anyone to grab you wearing _that_ ," exulted Mebuki, looking inordinately pleased. "That fishernet shirt is not a flowing dress, after all. However, if you are fearing for your life, Sakura, it's alright if you tear it off just in case. The top underneath is a last resort, you hear?" The seriousness in which she said so somehow made it all the more hilarious.

"Roger! And… Thanks, Mom." Sakura gave her a second, tight hug. Hugs with her mother normally felt more like a chocking contest, but this time over it felt _right_ to squeeze super tightly. "I love this outfit! It's better than anything I could've imagined!"

"Glad we agree on that one," said Mebuki as they exited the shop. "Shall we head home now?"

"Wait, I forgot to grab some sandals! The ones I have now are getting too small."

"Do you want me to wait?"

"Hm? Nah, I'll catch up."

And so, Sakura hurried to the registry, where they handed out free ninja-sandals. This season, they were apparently giving out dark blue ones, similar in appearance to the footwear which most jonin, like her unglamorous teacher, favored. But Sakura wasn't complaining – free was free.

As she pondered over why the ninja administration would go through the trouble of providing free sandals for everyone, something in a passing showcase caught her eye: it was a samurai armor.

Suddenly, a stroke of genius hit her.

 _This was it._

The key to beating Neji. Wearing an armor like that, his stupid buffalo fist wouldn't be able to do squat on her! Sakura hastily stuffed the sandals into her rucksack (Mebuki had lent it to her to forgo using plastic bags) and stepped inside the shop.

"Evenin'," said the clerk. Catching sight of her, he added, more unkindly: "can I help yeh, brat?" It was apparent he expected a negative. The man had a nasty scar carved in his chin and an even nastier one across his neck. Suddenly, Sakura felt like he was looking at her with derision.

She very subtly undid the genjutsu over her own scar and arms, straightening to full height. "Yes. And for your information, I am hardly a brat. I'm a ninja – participant in the upcoming chunin exam finale – mind you, _sir_ , and I'm here to purchase something. In fact, I was looking to buy an armor like the one you've got on display right over there."

The clerk chuckled grotesquely. "Playin' with fire, little girl?"

He wasn't taking her even remotely serious. Damn it!

"That's the name of our country," snapped Sakura."I'll give you points for creativity, at least. And no: I don't _play_." She glared at the clerk intently. Somehow, Sakura felt that she needed to prove herself worthy, assert her toughness, in order to get this guy to sell her the armor. At least if she wanted it for a decent price.

"…that beauty on display's worth some dough, brat. Too much for yeh, so scam," said the clerk dismissively. When he saw she wasn't butching, he mouthed: "How much money ya got?"

The clerk spoke so arcanely that Sakura nearly couldn't understand. When she did, though, she quickly covered it up by unceremoniously dumping all of her savings plus the morning's mission money on the counter.

The guy gave her a leer.

"What yeh think tis' is? Tis' but a pittance! You ain't goin' nowhere with that pile 'a trash, missy."

Sakura felt rage build within her.

"What was that?" she growled darkly. Inner was baring her teeth. "Don't look down on me, old man! I know a scam when I see it!"

"Go home, missy!"

"I wasn't born yesterday, _mister_!" Furiously, Sakura punched the counter to get her point across. The various kunai on display rattled in place.

The clerk, on his part, looked just as rattled by her display.

 _Look who brought out the big guns, you bastard!_ Inner crowed triumphantly. The shop-owner seemed to be thinking along those lines as well, for he spoke more carefully now:

"Ya say yeh gonna fight 'n tis' exam, ey? I'll make yeh some deal, missy." He lead Sakura to another, more shabby looking armor, which lay forgotten in the storage room. "I'm givin' yeh tis' babe for that dough of yers, on the condition that ya tell every-fuckin-body where ya got it. At Ginko's fucken' workshop! Ya hear?Stick that in yer head, missy!"

"I hear," grouched Sakura. She fingered the armor dubiously. "What's with the glue?"

"Plates got torn off," the clerk admitted. "Chakra glue, that. Why'd cha think the armor's tis' cheap?"

"Pff. You're trying to bullshit me." Finally, she got to employ all those 'bad' words Naruto spouted on a daily basis! Sakura gleefully gave the clerk her best glare. "I'm taking the armor for half the price or no deal," she grunted. "And if it breaks, I'm sure as heck gonna tell everyone all about where I got it, mister." Then she added nicely: "You're welcome!"

Sakura had good manners, after all.

Mister the Clerk eyed her darkly. "Full price. And that babe ain't breaking, girl. Yeh know chakra glue? The more uvvit ya channel, the more the fucken' thing sticks to yeh. Trust me, this beauty ain't breakin no time soon."

"Half the price or no deal. I can always go looking elsewhere." The clerk wasn't butching an inch, so Sakura, with every intention of doing so, turned around and marched towards the exit.

"Make it one third discount! Oi! Tis' a great offer!" came a sudden shout.

"And this is _great grand BULLSHIT!_ "

She kept walking.

"Wait!"

Mister Clerk looked at her intently. Sakura turned suspiciously and stared right back. She knew that they were sizing each other up – and it felt somehow exciting. Mister Clerk must've seen something in her, for he relented. "Fine. Half tha price and yeh better fucken' win, missy."

Sakura turned to smile at him blindingly. "Thanks a lot, mister. You're on."

 **TWSITED**

It was already dark outside by the time Sakura left the shop.

 _Ooof! This thing's heavy!_

The armor slung on her back was almost worse than carrying her two unconscious teammates through the forest of death had been. Well: almost. Sakura was really glad that _that_ was over. Regardless, the point was that she felt like the trek back home was becoming eternal.

But something was about to change. Something would make sure she never returned.

That something was sand.

"It's you…" Before she could even register just to whom exactly that gravely voice belonged, Sakura was in midair. The armor fell to the floor yet made no clattering noise. Sand had encased it just as it had Sakura, and Sakura was drowning in its grainy assault.

 _Gaara! It could only be him._

Dimly, she became aware of the fact that she was close to asphyxiation. The seconds trickled by, and Sakura struggled in vain, her fear so intense she could feel it pressing down on her, numbing her senses.

"Kill, kill, kill… I must satiate you, I need blood…" said Gaara's telltale hoarse voice.

A moment later, Sakura heard something crunch and realized that if Gaara kept pressing, his sand would crush her bones, her very spine; she'd be but a puddle of blood on the dirt.

"Mother… mother… I'll murder her for you. Yessss… we will prove our existence!"

Sakura's teeth were clattering. "P-please let me go, Gaara!"

She realized dimly that this wasn't like last time. She had nothing to fall back on, no excuse, no argument. Gaara looked more far gone than she'd ever seen him. He'd kill her, like he'd just promised.

"P-please!" she was crying now, but Sakura doubted her shaky voice even made it outside of the sand cocoon.

"Don't…!" Her voice broke.

She sucked in a breath. The pressure had stopped. Sakura waited like that, for minutes on end, and yet nothing, absolutely nothing, moved.

"You're pathetic," she heard after an eternity. "There's no merit… in breaking those who are already spineless."

And then he was gone.

 **TWSITED**

Sakura wasn't sure how long she lay there, quivering, ashamed, gulping in air like it was her first time.

Finally, when she was certain that Gaara was gone, that she was safe, Sakura ran. She didn't know her destination – the armor felt suddenly weightless on her back – but her legs were flying.

It took a very long and very short period of time for her to stop. Very long, because she was totally exhausted, but very short, because Sakura couldn't remember anything about the mindless sprint.

It was then that she regained her bearings. The realization hit her that Gaara was even more of a monster than she'd previously been able to comprehend. She understood, with horror, that whoever won the match between Sasuke and Naruto would die facing Gaara.

And lastly, Sakura realized that she was a coward.

How was it, that she went parading around town, pretending to be brave and strong, yet lost all will to fight at the minimal sign of danger? That she only ever ran away from her troubles? Even the armor Sakura had gotten had been by pretending to run away! She felt sudden anger, _boiling_ anger, at herself. It was a feeling so intense, a loathing so deep and complete, that Sakura was certain it must've been there for quite some time now. Feelings of this scope didn't just come out of nowhere.

Sakura was furious. They were all so unreachable! Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Ino, Neji… everyone! They had special parents, special skills, were courageous, respected, could get away with anything…!

Sakura, by contrast was so mousy. Pale, plain, unnoticeable. Impressionable. Easy to scare.

She _hated_ that.

She HATED it!

And with a burst of certainty and resolution, Sakura promised herself she'd change. It wasn't just about deciding to – she'd take action. She wouldn't stall even a second. She's start right now, even. She'd do it.

What was it they said about fears?

…facing your fears?

Well, since Sakura wasn't quite ready for another encounter with Gaara just yet, there was only one place she could go, only one deep-rooted fear she could face. She did like to take her therapy into her own hands, after all.

Resolute, and with only one clear goal in her mind, Haruno Sakura returned to the one place (night terror) she hated and feared the most.

(RESTRICTED AREA. KEEP OUT.)

…the Forest of Death.

Standing by the silent gate, her skin crawling, Sakura thought that she was more than sick of it. But that was the point. She'd stay here – for twenty days – training. She _would_.

It was a promise.

 **A/N**

 **Another chapter for you guys coming right up! I've read and re-read all the reviews, greedily so, and seriously, you can't imagine how happy they've made me. There are so many guests who don't leave a name though, it makes me sad that I can't thank you guys personally! D;**

 **Anyways, I'm thinking of replying to some of your reviews again, and I'll see if I can manage with the guests also.**

 **Thoughts about this chapter? About the bargaining? About the end? It mightn't look it, but this is a big turning point in the story.**

 **See ya :p**


	36. The Luxury of Voyeurism

The sounds of birds woke her. For a fleeting moment, Sakura lay in place, her mind quiet.

It was dawn. A soft light filtered through the trees, casting lazy shadows across the planes of her face. It wasn't until Sakura looked a little more closely at the scenery that she saw the huge creature which disturbingly–

…was crouched right over her!

She scuttered onto her feet, hastily shouldering her belongings. A frightful glance later proved that the thing was an enormous lizard. Counting its tail, the beast was at least two meters long, and Sakura didn't want to know how fast those legs could be. There was no other choice, so, tired and sore, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and hurried away from the area. Deeper into the Forest of Death.

Yesterday, she'd broken in. Sakura remembered she'd been too scared of getting caught by possible guards to dare run around the barrier looking for the river. This wasn't like last time. Now Sakura was in the depths of the forest, the only human in miles, and had no idea where to find water. Her throat was really dry. Her back felt sore from the continuos hauling of the armor, and worse even, Sakura's calves throbbed painfully at every step.

It was strange, delusional almost, to think that she was back in this hellhole. Voluntarily.

But Sakura had come to a resolution. There was no choice but to soldier on and grit her teeth. And indeed, she kept walking and walking for hours on end. Around noon, Sakura finally stumbled across the river. Walking deeper into the forest and away from the barrier had worked, as the river cut the forest in half. The tower, however, was nowhere to be seen, which Sakura honestly couldn't care less about. But more importantly, back to the present and back to Sakura's raw throat. Back to the discovery of water.

Filled to the brim with relief, she dropped her rucksack and armor with a resounding clank. She had eyes for the river only. It was particularly hard to resist the urge to jump inside.

Instead, Sakura looked for wood. She'd need to be prepared in case the leeches stroke again. She wasn't Sasuke, so starting a fire took almost half an hour of trying. This wasn't the same as it had been back at the academy: she didn't have tinder now. Instead, she had a growling belly and a sore throat, an a river in front of her. Resisting temptation was hard, but Sakura didn't approach it until she had a torch waiting for her at the shore. Carefully, she edged near the water and finally, in a blissful moment of glory, drank. And drank. And drank.

The suddenly emerging leech which had stuck onto her cupped palm made her shriek. Frantically, she bolted back to the torch and burned the leech to death. There was a little bit of blood in the wound, but not much.

Scared still, but no longer thirsty, Sakura decided to relocate to somewhere nearby. Thus, she proceeded with the arduous task of hauling everything she had to the top of a tall tree. When she made it to the top at last, Sakura dropped down on her bum.

After a while of panting, regular thought process came back to her:

 _Just fantastic!_ Inner grouched. _We're exhausted as heck! Damn your stupid ideas!_

 _It was your idea too, remember?_ Outer Sakura piped up. _And anyway, how was I supposed to know how heavy that armor really is?_

Inner ignored her. _…worst of all: we're absolutely famished! I'm ravenous! I need food and I need it now!_

This time it was Sakura's turn to ignore Inner and her I-statements. She had eaten nothing for dinner yesterday, and neither had she had breakfast or lunch. But what could she do? To distract herself from her hunger, Sakura decided to take an inventory check.

There was, of course, the Kaguya forsaken armor. Sakura huffed, and instead turned to her rucksack.

It was fortunate her mother had lent it to her for shopping yesterday. She'd need something to carry her things. And not only that: could there, per chance, be anything useful in there, like a water canteen?

Eagerly, she began digging for riches.

The first thing she found, unsurprisingly, was the last thing she'd introduced: the dark blue pair of sandals. It was followed closely by her new outfit, which could come quite in handy as well, as Sakura was wearing her red dress. There were also a hand mirror, a few hair clips and hair ties, tissues, hand cleaner (her mom was one of those stingy people who hated to touch things a lot of people had held) and… sunscreen. Few! Thank Hashirama for small favors. Pale people had it hard, Sakura knew. To her immense luck, there was also a kunai. That was almost even better. Sakura was really glad now, because she'd just realized (with mounting horror) that she'd stuck no weapons in her pouch the previous morning. Or had she?

Dread pooling in her gut, Sakura unclasped the pouch and opened it with shaky fingers. Money. Her halved savings were still there, as were those papers she'd stollen from the achieve. Sakura promised herself that she'd return them. She was no thief. The papers were pressed inside of her journal (yes, the one Kakashi had given her) to hide them in plain view. So Sakura was now stuck with the additional weight of the jornal. Though on the flip side, at least it would be useful to light fires.

Sakura kept ruffling through the pouch. There was also a pencil, more tissues, (she could only see them as tinder by this point) and a blunted shuriken. Sakura recalled it was the one she'd used to beat Ino – a lucky charm of sorts.

Luckier still was the box at the very bottom of her mom's rucksack: it was edible! On top of that, it contained Sakura's favorite sweets in the world: tea mochis. She'd stopped eating them because of her diet, but they were extremely preferable to starvation. If she had to hazard a guess, the mochis were probably a little surprise her mother had bought for her. She felt suddenly so grateful that she almost wept. Something edible! Without thinking, Sakura stuffed them into her mouth in rapid succession.

 _Divine_.

But then she stopped forcefully. She'd eaten two. That left four more. Definitely not much. With a devastated sigh, Sakura realized that she'd have to ration them.

 **TWISTED**

At the same time in a different place, team ten had met up for training. They'd just enjoyed a most tasteful lunch in their usual barbecue restaurant – Naruto's love for ramen not withstanding – and now the five of them had gathered at training ground ten, laying in wait for Kurenai to arrive. Well, Shikamaru was laying.

A scant few minutes afterward, the genjutsu mistress strode into their turf.

"Ah, you made it." Asuma's face lit up. "Good."

"Heya." Kurenai smiled. "So. We're all set?"

"You bet!" Naruto yelled. "I wanna see myself beat up some of those thugs back at Wave!"

"That's not really it, Naruto," muttered Ino snidely. "You're supposed to use the experience to learn the flaws in your teamwork, not inflate your ego!"

Shikamaru snorted. "I'm surprised he even has an ego, considering."

"I've brought chips for the show," announced Choji out of the blue. "Want any?"

"Yeah!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Must you keep talking?" interjected Kurenai.

Asuma rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. "I believe they're as anxious to proceed as we are, Kurenai."

"That's good to hear."

"Ne, ne! Vampire Aunt! You're the one that trains Sasuke-teme, am I right?

"Vampire Aunt?"

"Your eyes are like those of a vampire! Believe it! Hey, hey! Tell me about training the teme, Vampy Aunt!"

"That's hardly–"

"You think I can beat him? Because I'm going to!"

Asuma decked Naruto on the head with a mysteriously procured newspaper. "Get out of her hair, Naruto," he deadpanned.

Naruto frowned. It looked like he was about to protest, but in the end, he chose to listen.

Kurenai sighed. "So… let's get down to business, guys. I'm going to project Naruto's recollections of the mission in question for all of us to see and learn from his mistakes. Do you know how this technique works?"

"I have a question," said Ino instead.

"Go on."

"Well… if your jutsu is so great, why do they always rely on my clan's mind abilities for interrogation?"

"That's an interesting quandary," replied Kurenai. "Members of the Yamanaka clan are generally more accurate, but that's not it. For my jutsu to work, the subject needs to give their consent. Understandably, no interrogator can afford that luxury. There are also certain skill requirements to be met which not many in this village posses, not to mention, once it's started, it must be seen through till the end."

Ino looked slightly thrown for a loop. "Ah. Alright. That makes sense."

Naruto, who didn't look like he'd heard any of it, shouted: "I have a question! Hey!"

"What is it?"

"When are we getting started? 'cause I'm not getting any younger!"

"Now he talks like an old man?"

"You're the old man, Shikamaru!"

"While you were distracted…" Kurenai smirked, "I've already gone ahead and caught the lot of you in a basic genjutsu. We'll work our way up from there." She gestured for everyone to sit down in a circle. "Let's get down to business. First, I want all of you to do your best picturing the scene. Especially you, Naruto."

She moved right in front of him, her red nail poking the center of his forehead.

"What scene?"

"How about… the mission desk? That's easy for all of us to imagine." She turned to the rest of them. "Listen. All of you, try to picture the mission desk. Naruto, the other members of team seven… Lord Hokage, even, and Iruka-san are all present."

"This feels like a theatre play," muttered Ino.

Next to her, Shikamaru yawned. "Such a boring lecture."

"What lecture?" Choji munched on his chips confusedly.

"Moron! If you'd stop chomping on food and concentrated…!" Ino hissed,"then maybe you'd know what's going on!" In truth, she had no idea what lecture Shikamaru was talking about either. But then, unexpectedly, as she focused more on Kurenai's words, a deep voice, and then another, hushed one, began floating into her senses. She closed her eyes. Choji had stopped eating chips, or at least, she couldn't hear it anymore.

"…C and B rank missions get assigned to chunin…" Was that the hokage speaking? He seemed to be wrapped up in a winded lecture indeed. "…while jonin level ninja take on B and A rank missions. Do you understand, Naruto-kun? As you are a genin, I can't assign any complicated–" He cut himself off.

In the silence, what previously had been a whisper became clearly audible. The heads of team seven were brought close in conference:

"…so I was thinking of eating some miso ramen for dinner, see, but I'm not sure 'cause I feel like pork's tastier!"

"Naruto!" Iruka-sensei, Academy teacher extraordinare, shouted irately. "You can't pay your superior this kind of disrespect! Apologize to Lord Hokage!"

"What a moron," Shikamaru muttered as they watched.

"Ahh… sorry, sorry," said Illusion-Kakashi to the hokage. "He's a ball of energy."

The ball of energy in question paid tribute to his nickname by shouting: "I don't care about stupid regulations or stupid ranks! I want a cool mission, believe it! We've been completing all of these dumb D-ranks; that's not my standard, yeah! After all, I'm gonna become the next hokage!"

The hokage in question chuckled. "Very well then, Naruto-kun. A C-rank it is. This'll be one interesting escort mission."

"But – Hokage-sama!" Iruka rebutted worriedly. "If I may be so blunt, they're not ready! Naruto's not–"

"Yeah! Yeah! THANKS OLD MAN!"

"Naruto! What did I just say about your rude behavior?"

Iruka was once again woefully ignored.

"Bring it on! I'm so ready for this challenge! Who's our charge? A beautiful princess? An important landlord?"

"Ugh… _you're_ unbelievable, Naruto," muttered Reality-Ino. As they watched on, the real Naruto crossed his arms defensively, muttering he regretted nothing.

Right on cue, and making the exact same expression as Ino, Illusion-Sakura hissed: "Unbelievable. Naruto, you're such an airhead! Can't you be calmer and cooler, just like Sasuke-kun?" She threw him a reverent look, followed by a lovestruck sigh. Naruto, on his part, turned away brusquely.

Meanwhile, Real-Choji said to Ino: "You and Sakura are so similar even in your reactions – now that's what's unbelievable."

"Excuse me? Me and Forehead girl?"

While they were bickering, the scene suddenly morphed. A weathered looking man who was holding a bottle of liquor (and looked quite intoxicated) had joined team seven's group. Presumably, he was the mission's client, and the scenery had changed into nature.

"Ahaha! Look! It's a puddle! Wanna go jump inside with me, Sakura-chan?"

"Seriously?" groused Real-Ino to the current Naruto. "That's you trying to woo someone?"

Predictably, Illusion-Sakura hit Illusion-Naruto on his head. "No way, you moron!" Turning to Sasuke, she added: "Gee, Naruto is so immature. Totally not my type." She blushed. "My type is the real mature, reversed kind of ikemen, you know?"

Whether he knew or not, Sasuke didn't reply.

"Heh, your friend's attempts at flirting aren't exactly smooth either," said Real-Shikamaru to Ino, looking smug.

"That's because Sakura's a dunce!" cried Ino. "I'm way more skilled."

"I thought you said she was the only thing standing in your way to date Sasuke?" Choji prodded, exchanging winning smirks with Shikamaru.

Their collective attention, however, was promptly whisked away. Without warning, team seven was suddenly rendered under attack: two dangerous looking ninja had leapt upon them, catching the group completely of guard.

Ino shrieked.

Naruto, who had been at the forefront, whirled around, frozen. Sasuke meanwhile jumped into action, and so did Kakashi.

Except… the enemy was faster, and Kakashi was gruesomely sliced right through the middle. Entrails flew everywhere, a horrible smell ensuing.

"Sensei!" A broken scream.

Illusion-Naruto's trembling had gotten to the point of dropping a kunai. Without warning, a steely look took over Sakura and she rushed past him. She was fast, Naruto's world was spinning. Sakura's body spread in front of their charge protectively – she'd been the only one to remember him in the midst of the panic.

Naruto watched petrified still as one of the two ninja – the one who'd cut through Kakashi like a butter knife – sprang at Sakura. Wide-eyed, petrified, he looked on.

She'd seen it too, but Sakura remained in front of Tazuna, looking half terrified half resolute. But then, Sasuke jumped into the assailant's path and kicked and jumped and flailed. It was thanks to him that the attacker was taken care of expertly, Sasuke looking almost bored by the whole thing.

The other assailant, like a cornered rat, fled from Sasuke's power and lunged at Naruto instead, who was still rooted to the spot, shaking. The enemy closed in.

Everything pointed toward Naruto getting maimed. The assailant dove forward, his kunai burying into Naruto's skin. Just then, Sasuke sprinted to the rescue with furious speed, and like a dream, the other guy was out too.

Panting, and bleeding slightly from his hand but otherwise uninjured, Naruto looked up at Sasuke, whose foot was still on top of the attacker's face.

And then, smugly, Sasuke condescended: "Need saving, Bibiri-kun?"

 _Need saving, Bibiri-kun?_

 _Bibiri-kun?_

 _Bibiri-kun?_

Naruto went completely stiff. Scaredy-cat? He wasn't!

(At this point, it was hard for team ten to tell whether he was thinking or talking to himself.)

 _No! I'm not a scaredy-cat! Never again!_

"Well…" Illusion-Kakashi said suddenly. "Hadn't expected you to seize up like that, Naruto. Sasuke, Sakura, you did well."

Everyone stared at him.

"Kakashi-sensei! You're _alive_!" Sakura was crying.

Naruto tried to hide the fact that he was near tears too. "But…! I thought you were dead, Sensei! I saw it! That guy…!"

"He's truly one of a kind," muttered Kurenai as they looked on.

Unaffected, Kakashi meanwhile pursued his book again. "My demise was a perfectly logical ploy. It had to seem like I, the largest threat, was out of the picture… That gave me freedom to determine exactly what, or rather, who those two were after. They're the famous demon brothers, you know. Skilled mercenaries, and ninja, not just your average joe – they even made it into the bingo book as B ranked threats."

"You mean those two weren't bandits?" exclaimed Sakura, sniffing. "But then…"

"Yes. Sakura-chan, you did well to immediately flank Tazuna," said Kakashi, nodding towards the bridge builder. "If the demon brothers had been after money, which was unlikely, considering who they are, they wouldn't have targeted anyone specifically."

"But they did," Sakura whispered, wide-eyed.

"Yes. They did." Kakashi turned to Tazuna, his stare smoldering. "Isn't there something you wish to tell us, Mr Bridge-builder?"

The old man stiffened. Silence fell over the team like a blanket, only Sakura's hiccups were audible in the background.

Kakashi crouched, picking up the kunai Naruto had been stabbed with. "Poison," he concluded breezily. "Ma, nothing we can do about it. It's probably for the best. Let's return to the village. That needs to be removed from your system, Naruto."

If possible, Naruto looked even paler.

 _No! I don't wanna be a burden! No! No! I promised myself I'd put Sasuke-teme to shame on this mission! I promised I'd protect Sakura-chan! But the stupid teme beat me to the punch!_

Naruto was trembling.

 _Never again!_ The observants' eyes became wide as his hand rose into the air. He was gripping a kunai. With a determined shout, Naruto slashed the kunai into his wound. It was bleeding, the dagger buried inside of him. Naruto tore it forward slowly. "I'll never go back on my word! Do you hear me? That's my ninja way!" By this point, there was a giant gash all across his hand. _If I ever chicken out again, this wound, this pain, will remind me: never, ever will I stop! I'll keep my promises, and then I'll be worthy of becoming Hokage! BELIEVE IT!_

"Touching display. Though I can't help but wonder what you were trying to achieve by stabbing yourself, Naruto," said Kakashi drolly.

"That's obvious, Sensei: the poison is out now, see! You don't have to abort the mission anymore, believe it!"

 _I won't ever be a burden again!_

"Right… in light of your valiant display, I suppose we should continue. If you're all amenable?"

Sasuke gave a curt nod, Tazuna grinned. Sakura still looked stumped.

"That was… intense." In reality, Ino broke the silence. She still looked a little shaken. The others were either that or disturbed.

"Just wondering, Naruto…" murmured Kurenai. "Are you masochistic?"

"What?"

Coughing, Asuma turned toward Shikamaru. "Getting back on track… care to start on a comprehensive analysis, Shikamaru?"

"Why me? What a drag…" Shikamaru rightened himself a little. "Two words: Naruto, idiot."

"Eloquent." commented Kurenai, clipped.

"Shikamaru." Asuma heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Care to elaborate?"

"I'm not an idiot!" Naruto interrupted.

"Sure you aren't," said Ino snidely. "Shikamaru, elaborate."

"What's there to say? Look at people's feet more, Naruto."

"Hah? What's that got to do with anything? If I had done that, I wouldn't have seen any attack coming. Believe it."

"Not that that helped terribly," Choji added. Naruto gave him a dirty look.

"Well, I don't know what you're on about in regard to people's feet, but personally, I think Forehead's sensei's at fault in this."

"What do you mean, Ino?"

"Morons! Do you know _anything_ about psychology? Oh, don't answer that! Look, I get that sometimes it's inevitable, but pretending to suffer a gruesome death in front of kids who've never even been in a real fight before is the dumbest move a sensei can pull! What is this guy, retarded? Anyone would freeze up if they'd just seen their teacher's entrails spew all over the floor! Gee, Sakura wasn't kidding when she said Kakashi has the emotional range of a teaspoon!"

"What's an emotional range?" asked Naruto. "Is it a maths problem?"

"No! And that's not even the point!"

"She's right, you know. I think maybe we should speak to Kakashi about this…" said Kurenai dubiously.

Asuma didn't bother to consider it. "Forget it. He's a lost cause. Not used to us normal people, that one."

"Well I still don't get what this guy meant about feet!"

"Troublesome. It's rude to point, Naruto. And for the record, no one expects you to. You're less observant than a mole as it is." Shikamaru punctuated that statement by yawning in his face.

"Hey! I take offense to that! When I'm hokage, I'll make a mole chomp your most precious parts off! Ha! Ha! And I never go back on my–"

He was interrupted by Ino's punch to his head. "Shut up!"

Kurenai sighed. "Let's review the scene."

"Pay attention to people's feet this time," said Asuma knowingly. "You have the luxury of not being in mortal danger, kids."

"What a luxury," said Shikamaru spitefully.

"Indeed." Without further ado, Kurenai plunged them into memories again.

 **TWISTED**

It was dark already. Sakura had found a few berries, but that was it. No more for dinner. Exhausted, she laid on the floor and wondered what was wrong with her. Wouldn't it have been more sensible to prepare in advance for the forest? But on the other hand, she'd managed just fine last time without bringing food or water; she could do it again.

Sakura sighed. Tomorrow, she'd wear the armor. Carrying it on her shoulders was really impractical, and anyway, she'd have to get used to the extra weight if she had any chance of winning against Neji. Because that was her plan: beating Neji – and fighting Gaara herself.

 **A/N:**

 **Hey there! I'm aware the training arc might not be the most riveting, but it's something Sakura has to go through. She just has to. And it'll be hard. On another note, what do you think about team ten's particular 'training'?**

 **Anyways, I've been answering to many of your reviews, and, as promised, I will answer a few guest reviews too. I decided to include the original review so the recipient may know what I'm talking about.**

 **Without ado, let's go!**

 _G R A C I E: why do you make kakashi seem like such a jerk that is not how he acts in the shows but besides that i think you have a real talent for writing i LOVED it_

 **Thanks! And yeah, Kakashi has his moments. I don't know exactly what parts you're talking about, but his behavior has an explanation, I promise ;)**

 _Guest: I am excited for the next chapter. This type of resolve could lead to her being extremely song._

 **Depends on what you understand under 'strong', but yeah. I've been itching to write Sakura getting her shit together for ages. The time has come now!**

 _Nanami: Interesting development, the armor makes me think that Sakura follows a mixed path of ninja and samurai, but I'm not good at guessing just that it was terrifying Sakura's near-death scene, I thought that would be the end of the story and then I remembered that Itachi still does not come on the scene and that means that Sakura will not die just because of a sudden outburst of violence, the death bosuqe was unexpected but I'm glad to see that she can strengthen herself, I will not deny facing her fears it's hard and I'm anxious to see what happens, a scene of Sakura's fight with Gaara would make me very happy, but then I think and if it remains as it reads ... better let the author follow his course. Thanks for the update.Live The GaaSaku!_

 **Thank _you,_ Nanami! About the samurai thing, that's an interesting idea. I'd actually considered it, but I don't think I'll go through with it LoL**

 **Anyways, I'm sort of glad you thought the Gaara scene was scary as hell – that's what I was going for. In other stories, the character walks out of a near-death scene as though nothing major has transpired – that's not a normal reaction in 12 year olds xD. This just means that the story is realistic, which is ultimately what I was going for.**

 **Regarding 'bosuque'… did you mean bosque? De la muerte? Anyways, about a Sakura vs Gaara scene… we'll see ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)**

 _Guest: Im loving this story a bit more with every chapter I read, and even when I think I couldnt possibly love it more you prove me wrong. Thank you so much for the chapter. This fan will be waiting for more :D_

 **Wow, you've made my day, whoever you are! I on my part love your review, so now we're even :p** **Do you think the first few chapters should be rewritten, by the way? Thanks for your input :)**

 _Guest: need them updates, really like it_

 **Updating will be tough the week after next because of exams. I'll do my best though, promise**

 _Guest: he would look good with a ponytail that weasel_

 **Indeed ;)**

 _Guest: shell go berzerk and loosethan gets a great idea for the stadium?_

 **…um. What?**

 _Guest: amazing_

 **Thanks :)**

 _Guest: Well here, you go What a great story with this comment you are above the 98% garbage rate of naruto fanfiction which means its very enjoyable_

 **Um. I'm honored. Heheh. :)) Thanks for your support :D**

 **And with that we're done, folks! I'm glad to get to connect with my readers!**

 **See ya!**


	37. Of Monkeys and Mushrooms

Meanwhile, team ten plus Naruto and Kurenai reviewed the memory of the fight against the demon brothers. This time, they were to pay attention to everyone's feet.

In the memory, Naruto's feet were fine, but his legs were shaking as he watched, petrified, as one of the two ninja – the one who'd cut through Kakashi like a knife through butter – sprang at Sakura.

She'd seen him come, but Sakura remained planted in front of Tazuna. Her feet were pointed away, as though she was about to run, though at the same time they seemed rooted to the spot. Judging by that, Sakura was just as petrified as Naruto. It was then that Sasuke jumped into the fray. Keeping track of his feet wasn't particularly difficult, as they had a penchant to land on the attacker's face. It was thanks to this that the assailant was taken care of expertly, Sasuke looking almost bored with the situation.

"Have you seen that?" asked Asuma.

"What?" stuttered Ino. Choji and Naruto both shook their heads in confusion.

"You haven't?" Asuma sighed. "Look more closely at Sakura. Kurenai, could you…?"

Kurenai nodded. "I'll replay that part. Pay attention."

Once again, Sakura's wide-eyed face came into view as she stared at the enclosing attacker. Her feet were in a weird stance – two sides of her brain warring between fleeing and protecting. It was then that Sasuke intervened – and Sakura took a startled step back. Her right foot, this Ino hadn't even noticed before, stumbled over a jutting rock, slipped, and then – caved. Ino could almost hear the crunching of bones, saw Sakura's pained grimace.

"That's a terrible sprain!" she shouted, stupefied.

Naruto, too, had seen it this time. As well as Choji. "Can't believe you caught that the first time, Shikamaru," Choji said.

"That's not even the point!" Ino shouted.

Naruto was oddly quiet.

"See now? This is why it's dangerous to fight in foreign ground," Asuma interrupted gravely. "Statistically speaking, a bad sprain can happen to anyone. It wouldn't be the first time that a careless slip like that is the death of a talented ninja."

"He's right, you know," muttered Kurenai. "An injury to the feet is bad news."

Not to forget that Sakura wasn't the only one injured. Memory-Naruto was just then slicing through his hand to get rid of the poison in it.

"Why didn't Sakura-chan say anything?" asked the real Naruto. "We would've turned back!"

"Idiot," muttered Shikamaru. "You've got to have a feel for your teammates. Look at that."

Just then, Illusion-Naruto shouted: "I'll never go back on my word! Do you hear me? That's my ninja way!" By this point, there was a giant gash all across his hand. _If I ever chicken out again, this wound, this pain, will remind me: never, ever will I stop! I'll keep my promises, and only then will I be worthy of becoming Hokage! BELIEVE IT!_

"Right…" muttered Illusion-Kakashi tartly. "In light of your valiant display, I suppose we should continue. If you're all amenable?"

Sasuke gave a curt nod, Tazuna grinned. Sakura still looked stumped.

Or perhaps terrified at the thought of speaking up?

"You see?" grouched Shikamaru.

Naruto still looked confused.

"Ugh, Naruto, you moron!" Ino muttered. "Since Forehead is an insecure idiot, obviously she'd be embarrassed enough to keep quiet about her sprain after your – and I quote: valiant display!"

Now Naruto looked horrified. "But how was I supposed to know! If I had, I'd have a agreed to turn back!"

"But you see, Naruto…" Asuma chastised. "A large part of the success of a mission depends on your ability to observe your surroundings and henceforth draw conclusions." He frowned. "Do you understand what I meant now? Earlier, Sakura was crying. It could've been out of relief that Kakashi turned out to be alive… but what if it was the pain on her foot that made her cry?

Naruto, for one, looked very serious. "I never realized… I guess observing's important after all, Cigar-Cigar-Sensei!"

Asuma smirked. "Glad you changed your mind. Let's adjourn our meeting for today; it's getting late."

"Right," said Ino shakily. "Watching this is emotionally draining!"

"Not only that," Kurenai chuckled. "It's draining out your chakra. So, technically, you guys are improving your resistance."

"WHAAAAT?!"

It was on a light note that they all parted ways.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura was mad. She'd spent all of three hours searching for food – yet nothing. Why was this so damn difficult?

 _What is wrong with his forest!_ Inner grouched. _Why aren't there any normal squirrels or something that I can just chug a stone at?_ She was , she was tired, she wanted to damn well eat!

Suddenly, Sakura stopped dead in her tracks.

"Huh… another suspicious looking mushroom…" she muttered to herself. "Should I eat it?"

Her hunger won over, so she hastily cut it off and stuffed it in her bag. It would join the other dubious-looking mushrooms, berries, leaves and even tree roots she'd managed to dig up.

Sighing, Sakura wiped the sweat off her brow. "Thank Kaguya for small favors!" At least she'd been able to remember bits and pieces about an expert on herbology. What a lifesaver that was!

"What are you talking about?" Inner replied airily. "Thank ourselves! Kaguya doesn't even exist. And I bet not even she has that kind of eidetic memory!"

"Right…" Sakura sighed. "Great. And now I'm talking to myself again." She'd never have fathomed that she'd miss the presence of another human to this degree. "There's nothing poetic about solitude, like all the books say." She plucked another mushroom. "It's unsettling!"

But then, out of nowhere, she realized that her weapons pouch had disappeared.

 _Nooo! My dubious mushrooms! They're gone!_

Sakura hastily turned around, and that's when she saw them: monkeys.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Those damn thieving bastards stole our food!"

Sakura smashed a stone at them. Naturally, the monkeys scattered before it could hit either of their brown heads. But by that point, Sakura had already leapt in their direction.

"HA! I've got you now!"

Only she hadn't. She'd never had thought a bunch of stray monkeys could outmaneuver a certified ninja, yet apparently, Sakura had given them too little credit. The monkeys flailed and jumped through the trees, nimbler even than Kakashi-sensei himself.

Sakura, by contrast, strenuously pranced after them, the clanking of her heavy armor resounding across the forest. It was then that she realized that she stood no chance against them in this shape. It was then that she realized that, unless she learned how to move around in that heavy piece of lead armor – and fast – she'd be fried. Coming to a halt, she gave up.

Downtrodden and tired, Sakura mourned the loss of her weapons pouch. Her weapons themselves were thankfully still with her, but she'd basically managed to lose all of her food, all of her savings, and all of her remaining dignity.

In another time, another reality, Sakura might've sat down and cried, but this time she only sat down, period. Crying over this? After everything she'd been through? Zabuza would be insulted if she did!

So Sakura bravely held in her tears and concentrated on regulating her breathing. She was panting, whether from exhaustion or hysteria was a mystery.

After a long while of just sitting there, something made her look up. It was a squirrel. The squirrel, sneaky beast that it was, picked up a stray mushroom that had apparently fallen off Sakura's weapons pouch during the chase. Sakura felt too drained to fight for a lone mushroom, so she let the squirrel eat in peace.

And thank heavens she did! A while later, the squirrel began behaving strangely. Shortly after it was dead.

"That could've been me…" The thought made Sakura want to retch as bad as the squirrel had. She'd been lucky after all. If those monkeys hadn't stolen her stuff, Sakura would probably be retching to death now.

Still, Sakura's stomach grumbled.

 **TWISTED**

Team ten and Naruto were preoccupied watching the memories of the Wave mission. The very next morning, they met earlier than usual to do just that.

Things seemed fine after the demon brothers – but they weren't. Zabuza happened, to team ten's collective horror. All of them looked on as Sakura tripped over herself (her sprained foot) in an attempt to flee. They also all looked on as Zabuza caught up with her.

After that, it all became a blur of adrenaline and panic:

Kakashi, looking frazzled but ready for anything.

Zabuza, a threatening shadow.

("It's either the girl or the mission, Copy Nin. I'm not trying to be your enemy. Hand over the bridge-builder and I'll let you walk away peacefully.)

Sakura's pleading eyes.

Tazuna's brave cause. His struggle for his village, for his country. For those precious to him.

("Sakura! Hang in there!"

"Such a gentleman you are, Sharingan no Kakashi. But that won't cut it. The girl is dead!")

Their teacher's loyalty.

("Kakashi-sensei!")

("Sensei!")

Their only and last line of defense, Kakashi Hatake, caught helpless in a water prison.

Meanwhile there was Sakura, pale and unconscious on the hard ground.

Naruto's trembling hands, but the memory of his scar:

("It's up to us, Sasuke!")

Kakashi, shouting at them.

("Stand back, Naruto, Sasuke! Take Sakura and run!"

"You heard your teacher, boys. Leave. I'll spare you.")

But not Kakashi. Not Tazuna. Not the Wave Country.

 **TWISTED**

"What would you have done?" Asuma looked at his own team inquisitively.

The three swallowed.

No answer was given.

In the heavy silence, Asuma sighed, turning away. He'd proven his point.

"Naruto, you and Sasuke disobeyed your commanding officer and stayed to fight. In this case, it all went well in the end, but not everything ends like a fairytale." Asuma looked pained as he said it, but everyone understood why he did anyway.

They kept watching.

 **TWISTED**

Sakura's haunted face. The deep eye-bags. Her shallow skin. The wide jade eyes, bloodshot.

"Zabuza is alive." A whisper in the darkness.

The surreal moment in which they all realized that the nightmare hadn't ended.

 **TWISTED**

"Was that really Sakura?" Ino croaked once they were outside of the illusion. "She looked terrible!"

"Hey! Leave Sakura-chan alone!" Naruto shouted, though it was weak.

Even Asuma was caught of guard. "Missions can take a strong psychological toll on anyone, as exemplified by Naruto's teammate. An otherwise intelligent individual might start making unfounded, paranoid claims, which only create instability. High risk situations are dangerous to the mind as well, you know."

"But that's the thing!" Naruto shouted. "Sakura-chan was right! Zabuza came back!"

 **TWISTED**

Meanwhile, the real Sakura in question was ambling through the forest of death in a hunger-plagued trance.

She hadn't eaten anything substancial for days. It was almost noon already, and Sakura had managed to wander into an area of tall grass, where nothing edible grew. No dubious mushrooms for her.

To make matters worse, Sakura's armor clung to her skin uncomfortably. Her feet seemed to cling to the ground. Sweat clung to her forehead. It was all so horrible that Sakura almost didn't blink when a snake leapt out of the underbrush. In comparison to Orochimaru's pet, it looked really cute.

It was also trying to bite her ankle. Belatedly getting alarmed, Sakura realized that she'd probably stepped on its den or something. Thankfully, her reflexes held true, and she managed to avoid the viper's assault by a mere inch.

But then Sakura realized something else: snake meant food!

Twenty minutes later found Sakura Haruno, pretty girl extraordinaire, stewing a dead snake on a stick. It was the grossest thing she'd ever tasted. But it was food.

 **A/N**

 **Soooo… how was it?**

 **So many people have been telling me they like this story! It makes me incredibly happy :D I honestly can't even explain. Anyways, some of you wondered what Sakura's armor might look like… well, the answer's shabby and like nothing special. Though if you'd like a more romantic impression, feel welcome to picture it like this:**

 **http/orig15./c960/f/2013/162/9/9/samurai_girl_in_armor_sumie_style_by_mycks-d68mwbb.jpg**

 **About updating, I truly doubt I'll be able to until the month is over because that's when I'll finish my exams…**

 **So… I'll see you then!**


	38. Sasuke & Pervert! A Comedic Duo!

The sixth day of training dawned on Konoha with clear skies and glittering morning dew.

It was in the early hours of the day, while the village was still asleep, that Sasuke Uchiha got up. In less than half an hour he was done with his morning routine. Brusquely, he opened the sliding window.

"I'm off to training ground twenty-five."

An ANBU appeared not an inch from his face.

"Noted," the agent said curtly.

Sasuke turned away without comment and quitted the house in a jog. It wasn't until an hour later that he stopped to properly breakfast in a nearby stand.

"Ahhh… Sasuke-san!" an elderly lady greeted. "I'd ask what brings you here at this ungodly hour, but I know by now that you're an early riser!"

Sasuke nodded. "I've been running," he contributed.

"Indeed? Then you must be famished! Come, I'll treat you to some dumplings."

"That won't be necessary. I brought change."

"I insist!"

When the meal was done, Sasuke nevertheless placed a pile of coins on the counter. He grabbed the dumplings and inclined his head.

"Ja." And then Sasuke took his leave.

 **TWISTED**

It was around that time when, in a deep part of the forest of death, two viridian eyes shot open.

Stretching blearily, Sakura took a moment to simply sit there and think. Yesterday hadn't ended very well. After struggling to eat bits and pieces of a slightly charred snake (Sakura hadn't dared touch the head in case she accidentally poisoned herself), Sakura had ambled about the forest pointlessly. She'd looked for shelter of any kind, but there was nowhere she could truly feel safe – not from the wind and less so from wild animals. In the end, she'd had to settle for the top of a tree, where she fortunately still was.

Unfortunately, she was also still hungry. With only thoughts of breakfast clogging her mind, Sakura heaved herself over the tree. Chakra landings were something Kakashi had ingrained into her while they were still at Wave, and if that brutal training of his hadn't been enough, what came next sure was. But as she fell toward the forest floor, Sakura realized that something was off. Something was different. She was plummeting down much too quickly! Her body was diving headfirst, yet her mobility was nonexistent!

"The armor!" Inner shouted. "Take it off!"

"I can't fucking undress in midair!"

Screaming never helped, and neither did screaming at yourself. Paradoxically, it was that which helped ground Sakura. Suddenly, she knew what to do.

"KAWARIMI!" The familiar hand signs stretched across her fingers without conscious thought, and now she was that much closer to the ground, her feet where her head had just been.

"Oof!" In the following second, Sakura found herself sprawled across the forest floor.

"Note to self: armors are _heavy_ …" Sakura grumbled. She was thankfully fine, as the kawarimi had halved her falling distance. Who would've thought that such an elementary jutsu could be this useful? Sakura smiled to herself. She'd tried to hunt earlier, but even her good accuracy wasn't enough to take the forest's clever birds by surprise. Yet now she knew exactly which technique could.

"Hunting with kawarimi, huh?" Sakura smirked to herself. "This almost feels like one of Iruka-sensei's assignments…"

Inner was already cracking her knuckles. "Now where are those feathered chickens?!"

 **TWISTED**

While Sakura flailed around in a heavy armor, struggling to catch innocent birds by their necks, Sasuke was struggling with his own demons in training ground number twenty five.

He needed to concentrate…

His eyes closed behind the headband covering them, his ears strained. Without allowing himself to hesitate, Sasuke kicked a long, wooden tree-trunk which was attached to a rope, and then another. Like a child's swing, both logs careened away from him, but then flopped right back.

Just as the first trunk was about to hit him, Sasuke stepped aside. The second, however, came unpredictably rushing forwards faster even than the former, ramming into Sasuke's stomach like a bull mid-charge.

Wheezing in pain, the teen coiled into himself.

He'd have to keep practicing. Dodging, he'd learned, was essential.

"Timing…" Sasuke grit out. "It's all about… timing."

 **TWISTED**

" _Timing_. It's all about timing, Naruto! Geez, what were you thinking, stopping to eat ramen of all things?"

"I already said I'm sorry, okay!"

"Sorry won't cut it!"

Asuma, Kurenai, Choji and Shikamaru watched silently as Naruto and Ino cussed at one another back and forth. Finally, Kurenai lost her patience.

"Are you two quite done?"

Both blondes turned toward her sheepishly.

"Sorry, Vampy-nechan!"

Kurenai rolled her eyes.

"She's doing you a favor by coming," Asuma cautioned.

"We wont do it again, promise. Isn't that right, Naruto?" Ino began pulling at his ear.

"Ow! Yah, ow! What she said!"

"Ready for whatever Naruto's memories hold in store today?" Kurenai asked everyone.

They all nodded, and Kurenai's finger henceforth went straight to Naruto's forehead, right below the hitai ate.

Soon, they found each other in a clearing at a foreign forest.

Illusionary versions of Kakashi, Sasuke and Naruto were crouching on a stretch of ground, Kakashi as always with a book in hand. Reality-Ino opened her mouth, presumably to ask about the team's missing member, but closed it as soon as Kakashi began to speak.

"Sasuke, Naruto. If you want me to take your training seriously, I need you to do something important for me first."

"What? What? What?" Naruto jumped around excitedly.

Kakashi tucked a crumpled paper out of his pocket and unfolded it gingerly. It looked like a plan or map of some sort. "Easy." His smile was angelic. "Sakura-chan set up some death-traps earlier. I want you to test whether they work."

"HEEEH?!"

Kakashi didn't let either of them complain, for he added: "Starting now." And pulling out a kunai, he cut a tiny wire which hadn't been visible before.

"You're not giving us an option?!"

While yelling, Naruto and Sasuke belatedly scrambled for cover. Meanwhile, Kakashi laughed at their expense. "Of course I'm giving you an option – just one option. But don't fret my little pupils, I'll consider this little chore over with as soon as you make it into the house."

"What do you mean, the house!?" Naruto shouted. "That's half a kilometer away!"

Kakashi replied by chipping off another wire, which propelled a shower of sharp pines their way.

"Pines. Seriously?" muttered Sasuke, picking one up dubiously.

"Seriously," said Kakashi. A third wire was cut, and something grey and liquid fell right upon them. "FIRE BALL JUTSU!" Kakashi yelled. The pines caught fire in the blink of an eye – a raging fire. Naruto made a startled leap back, while Sasuke dropped his pine as though signed.

"Are you trying to calcine us?!" Naruto yelled in a panic.

"Who knows." Kakashi shrugged.

"The question is…" Sasuke smirked. "Who taught you such a big word, dobe?"

"Shut up, teme!"

"As if, Bibiri-kun."

"You wanna taste my fist, HUH?!"

From his perch on a tree, Kakashi looked down at them condescendingly.

"Are you planning to argue all day? Out of curiosity."

Startled, Naruto and Sasuke turned back to face him.

"Let's go!" shouted Sasuke, setting a course toward the house. "And don't sidetrack me this time, dobe!"

"Not a chance, teme! You're the one who's in my way, believe it!"

Kakashi, on his part, disappeared.

"Where'd he go?" Naruto yelled.

"He'll try to ambush us with one of Sakura's traps," Sasuke grit out. "Now move it!"

 **TWISTED**

"What kind of training is that?" Ino raged.

"So that's how Sakura learned all those complex traps…" murmured Choji.

"The question you should be asking," Shikamaru said, "is why an elite jonin allowed a genin to set them in the first place." His eyes narrowed. "This kind of situation isn't a drill. If, as Naruto said, Zabuza is – was – still alive, then why did Kakashi implement such a lax security? Why let Sakura do it?"

"Sakura's traps did great!" Naruto defended. "Besides, she improved upon them! Sensei made us do the drill until the traps were so good that we were stuck going in circles for hours!"

"You mean he made her re-arm all the traps repeatedly?" Kurenai asked, looking startled. "Only someone who knows their knots can do that without screwing up – it's a hell of a lot of work."

Unbidden, another memory surfaced, in answer to their question.

"I'm gonna get a drink!" Illusion-Naruto yelled. He and Sasuke were both in a clearing this time. In the background, Sasuke was trying to chakra-climb a tree with only his legs.

"Fine, get lost, dobe," replied Sasuke.

"Well I won't lose where it counts, teme!" Naruto bit back by way of leaving.

Cheerfully, he went to get the aforementioned drink from the house. What he wasn't expecting was to hear muffled voices.

"…you can dodge this snare in four different ways," Kakashi was saying flippantly. In the clearing up ahead, Sakura was ducking her head; she looked close to tears, Naruto thought. "Worse yet. Are you trying to kill our client?" Kakashi went on. "This wouldn't even trick a civilian, Sakura-chan."

Sakura's face was creepily blank by that point. No more tears then. Illusion-Naruto, who had hidden behind a bush to eavesdrop, looked like he was about to jump out in Sakura's defense.

"Sakura-chan? The traps are waiting." Kakashi informed, playing the impatience card for once in his life.

Sakura's suddenly irritated look said that she hadn't missed that little detail either, but she nevertheless did as Kakashi asked and set to re-inventing the traps for the whole area, her head bent over the paper.

When Naruto returned from taking a dump and drinking water, Sakura looked like she was about to finish scribbling in a piece of paper. Her eyes as sharp as daggers, she thrust the plan at Kakashi. Naruto (and all the new onlookers) held their breaths as Kakashi eyed it.

"Now that that's been taken care of," he concluded breezily, "find all the loopholes in it."

Sakura gaped.

"Well?" He arched an eyebrow. "I'm waiting." Kakashi even waved the plan around casually.

Sakura, on her part, looked ready to throttle him.

So did Ino.

"What a hypocritical asshole! What is Sakura, his maid? That's no way to treat your student!"

Somewhere else in the village, Kakashi sneezed. Also somewhere else, Sakura coughed, just as she was about to pounce on a bird.

The bird flew off.

"Damn it all!"

Mastering a long-distance kawarimi would take _a while._

 **TWISTED**

Sasuke had been training for over two hours when something odd happened. Or rather, someone odd happened upon him. The abnormality was an old man who dressed like a cross between traditional garb and ninja, topped by red warpaint on his cheeks and a bush of white hair that was completely in disarray. Did this old man have heroic delusions or something? Sasuke snorted. He looked thirty years late for the job.

In vague reminiscence of a fly buzzing in the background, the oddball began prowling around Sasuke's quiet corner of the training ground. Or… quiet it had been until a short while a go. A group of kunoichi had joined Sasuke's spot not too long ago in order to do yoga and flexibility stretches. Truth be told, Sasuke had been about to leave in search of a quieter spot, though then he reasoned to himself that any seasoned shinobi should be able to deal with whatever was thrown his way, more so if it was a bunch of girls stretching in the background. They weren't even that noisy – and neither were they nosy, for that matter, so Sasuke let it be.

Until this creep appeared. Sasuke didn't know whether it had anything to do with his sensory training, but the man's undesirable presence behind some shrubs was hard to miss.

Personally, he liked to take pride in the fact that he could deal with quite a lot of harassment without it getting to him, but something about this – this pervert – irked him in a way only Naruto had achieved before.

"You, stop spying on those girls," Sasuke called out loudly. The yoga girls turned around with surprise, all eyes fixing on the oddball behind the bushes.

"Now you listen here, brat!" The man marched out of the bushes, and before Sasuke knew it, seized his ear roughly and started pulling at it. "That's not how you talk to – eh?" His lecherous gaze had fixed on the yoga girls, who were staring at him unabashedly. "Hello, ladies," he said suavely.

The yoga girls fled.

With a scowl (Sasuke couldn't believe the weirdo had managed to grab his ear) Sasuke tore himself free of the man'd grasp.

"See what you did, kid?" the bush-person lamented. "This is what fellow members who contribute to society get for trying to work! Disrespectful children: hehe, what a joke! Did you see that lost opportunity? The research… you okay, kid?"

Sasuke realized that some of his contempt for this bushman must've seeped through his gaze, or in this case, dark glower.

"I am not a kid, old man." He jutted his chin out. "I don't need to prove myself to you."

"Ah, sure, sure, get lost, kid. You're hot stuff, of course you are." The man made a shooing motion, as though Sasuke might be a cow he needed to herd in the right direction.

Sasuke clenched his jaw. "Perhaps I am hot, perhaps I could blow a fireball at you right this moment."

"Oho, now I'm sacred, kid."

He kept saying kid! Sasuke was certain the man was just doing it to annoy him.

"Shall I demonstrate?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. Of course, Sasuke had no intention to blow the fireball into the man's face, but Sasuke wasn't above power displays. And this sick pervert deserved everything he got. Sasuke had no patience for the likes of him.

"You think you could hit me, kid?" The man cackled to himself. "How cute! Do you even know who I am? I am… the Toad Sage!"

And Sasuke was snorting in his face, big deal.

"Argh, kid, show some respect to your elders!"

Once again, the Toad Sage moved before Sasuke could process it. This time, he grabbed Sasuke by the scruff of his neck and hauled him into the bushes he'd previously camped behind.

Shocked, Sasuke gathered himself. He'd been dumped in bushman's bush. Wait. He'd been thrown. What kind of elderly person had strength like that?

"Reveal yourself!" Suddenly, Sasuke had an idea. "I know your end game, old man! Or should I say: spy? Your pretending to perv on those girls was only a ploy… you were actually waiting to get me alone," he growled. And kill me.

Sasuke's stance tensed.

"Ahaha! Did you just say I was peeking on you? No offense, kid, but I prefer boobs."

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something. Closed it. Turned around. Turned back.

"Hn. After behaving so suspiciously, you're trying to tell me that you are only a standard pervert?"

"Excuse me? I'm no such thing!" His nostrils flared. "I'll have you know I am an ULTRA pervert! Write it on your forehead, kid."

Sasuke frowned. Who exactly was this – this perverted bushman? And why was he so strong? Was he an enemy? Or was he an ally?

 **A/N**

 **So. Turns out I did manage to update. Cheers.**

 **Anyways, things are still pretty wobbly in regards to scheduling… so no promises for next week.**

 **If any of you happen to be lusting after more original content by my dashing self (yeah right!) you're welcome to check out my story: Harry Potter and the Sorting Gone Wrong. I think it's pretty self explanatory, with the focus being on character development. Surprised?**


	39. Don’t Chicken Out

**I managed to update! Yay! Get ready, guys, because lots of important things happen in this chapter. Trigger warnings: animal cruelty. Yes. You can skip the scene if it makes you uneasy – those are the feelings it's meant to evoke. This is a necessary evil. I feel like many authors forget that even small things such as hunting shouldn't be taken for granted. Sakura is maturing, she has to learn the price of being alive. So, no more philosophy and let's begin!**

TWISTED

"Urgh! Damn those winged beasts!" Sakura yelled. She'd been trying to hunt a bird using her kawarimi technique, yet had been largely unsuccessful. Was she even making any progress? She thought she was, but it was hard to be objective.

"Why can't I do this?" Sakura's instincts told her that she was on the right track here, but… she wasn't good enough to carry out her plans. What use did Sakura have for strategy, when she couldn't put it into practice? She didn't even have a very concrete idea on how to catch the bird… just that she could extrapolate. Use her ninjutsu skills to get her dinner.

Yet the damn birds were too fast. It was impossible to catch one of them unawares; their reaction time was amazing. Sakura only wished she could have reflexes like that. Now that she knew better, she felt a deep respect for all these animals. Even earthworms deserved their credit. No wonder though that those poor things were helpless against birds.

Sakura huffed. Those winged monsters had indubitably one strength Naruto would envy: an amazing attention span. You could so much as twitch and their sharp eyes would hone in on you immediately – no wonder Sakura couldn't even get past the first hand sign.

She sighed.

What were ninja skills even useful for if you couldn't conceal yourself?

Suddenly, she sprang up, her eyes lit up with the faint glow only the brightest idea can leave behind.

Now Sakura knew what to do! She'd even done this before, when she'd sneaked into the ANBU archive with her team. Back then, she'd been terrified to be found while searching for Naruto, and so, in her panic, she'd used henge. Not to change forms, but rather, to acquire the nondescript color of the walls. In one word: camouflage. And Sakura knew for a fact that these birds relied heavily on their eyesight.

It was genius!

As far as she knew, the henge was never used as a visual camouflage tool. It was called 'transformation jutsu' for a reason, after all. But Sakura was positive that it _could_ be done because she herself had.

"Let's see…"

Grinding her fingers together into the tiger seal, Sakura went for it. At first, she only managed to turn her skin into a mucky brown. But she knew that that wasn't enough. She knew that those damn birds wouldn't be fooled lest she turn into a damn bush. Obviously, she couldn't do that; she needed legs and arms to wring the creature's odious neck after all. So she'd have to go for the next best thing: Sakura would just have to _look_ like a bush – on the surface. She needed to change her skin, clothes and lips. Her eye-whites, her nails. Even the texture of her hair.

It was difficult, but this was Sakura's strong suit. She rather preferred to do relaxing chakra control exercises in the shadow of a tree than aimlessly springing around after birds.

When she mastered the new technique hours later, it was too soon.

 _Alright… here we go_ , thought Sakura. Slowly, slowly, ever so slowly, she crept between the bushes. There was a bird up ahead. She knew that she had only one chance, but then the bird turned, saw her, and flew off.

 _How?! I thought I had all the bases covered!_ Sakura lamented. Had she made a rustling noise? No, she was certain. It was like the bird had just _felt_ her presence. It shouldn't be possible. And yet, here she was.

She'd failed yet again! But she had come this far, and Sakura refused to back down now. But in her anger, the birds only seemed to see her coming a mile away. Sakura's stomach chose that moment to heartily inform her that it was midday already and yet, still nothing to eat. At this point, birds were her only option, if she didn't want to try her hand with the mushrooms (or mushroom-eating squirrels) and Sakura certainly knew better than to try and fish without equipment.

So, the bird it was.

In her frenzied fury, she'd managed to have all the birds fly off… so Sakura would have to wait for them to return. Something told her that they would; this was a good location for them because of the river bed.

As she had nothing to do but wait, Sakura retreated into the bushes. The birds might see her still, so just in case, she concentrated once again to turn her skin green.

Breathe in, out.

Her chakra control needed to flow fluidly yet steadily. If she slipped, her cover would be blown.

In, out.

Sakura's mind was on her breathing (slow, deep), her eyes trained on the forest floor, her ears straining to pick up the batting of wings.

* * *

She felt _there_.

It wasn't a feeling per se, it was a state of being.

Alert.

Alive.

Only the now counted. No, not even that. It was just her and her target. Her and the forest.

This was different from before. She could remain hours in this moment, because only the moment mattered.

* * *

There.

A bird was approaching at five o'clock.

Calmly, Sakura waited for it to settle. To be lulled into a false sense of security. Time passed. Still, Sakura waited.

Now the bird had started going about its business, looking for unfortunate worms.

Her fingers slowly inched together.

Boar. Ram. Oax. Tiger.

Before she knew it, she'd leapt. Without a second's delay, her chakra flowed neatly into the desired long range-kawarimi. She had improved.

In that very instant, the bird saw. Without a second to spare, it hurried into take off. But Sakura herself had pounced just a moment earlier, and the added surprise element of the kawarimi propelled her to the bird's blind spot. Without thinking, she grasped the tiny creature before it could flee.

It was fragile. It was squirming.

Sakura looked down at her closed fist.

It had big, doe-like eyes and the softest feathers. Its body was frail, tiny – unmistakably a babe. Sakura kept very still, listening with wide-eyes to the desperate peeps that came from her closed fist.

She could only think about how it might be an innocent newborn.

How she didn't want to kill it.

She knew that she'd snuff its life out if only she gripped a little tighter. In the meantime, it had begun trying to impale her with a desperate, clawing, little beak, still making those horrible – sounds. Sakura bit her lip. She needed to eat. She'd starve if she didn't soon.

She had feasted on rabbit and squirrel before. She'd been there when Kakashi had roasted their game on a crackling fire. She knew that this was the same. She knew that the bird had to die.

Her fingers were trembling.

Fuck it. She was a ninja. She couldn't shy away from killing a baby chicken.

Gasping, Sakura pressed harder. Its eyes began to pop out, bulge.

No, no, she couldn't do it! Not like this.

Hastily, Sakura used a remnant of rope she still had left to tie the flailing bird to a tree upside down. She remembered what Iruka-sensei had once said at the Academy. She remembered it with a detached sort of clarity like so many other horrible things they'd been taught. Things she hadn't understood.

Iruka had told the class: " _…pay attention, Naruto! As I was saying, in order to make it a quick, efficient kill – as painless as possible for the animal – you must remember to g_ _et the head at a_ _ninety_ _degree angle to the neck and give a good pull._ _It_ _should be about_ _three to four_ _inches from the neck to ensure you have separated the arteries in the neck for bleeding. I_ _wouldn't_ _cut the throat. All the blood bleeds into the neck._ _This is a common misconception that…_ "

Methodically, Sakura twisted the fluffy neck of the chicken. A perversely analytical part of her imagined that this was harder than with a grown specimen, because this was a baby. She tried to strike it correctly.

The first chop failed.

The babe began writhing in pain, beating its wings frantically. Sakura thought that if it were a human, he'd be screaming in hysterics.

She tried hitting again. This time, Sakura could tell that she'd found the right spot. But she'd been too soft. She'd only hurt the writing animal more. She wanted this to end so badly.

Almost on instinct, she went for it again.

 _Third time's the charm,_ Iruka's smiling declaration resounded in her head. I made her sick, but she knew that she _had_ gotten it right this time. She had felt the soft, barely-there crunching of bones. Small, light bones. She'd dislocated the neck.

It was done.

But the horror was not yet over.

The chicken was frantically swinging, flapping like a pendulum, twitching oddly as it made sounds. Sakura knew that it was dead already. Those movements were involuntary. The nerves were just twitching mindlessly. Somehow, that only made it worse.

Trembling, she crashed to the ground. Her heart was drumming in the beat of hell songs, the rushing of blood filling her ears. Sakura's fingers tingled with the fathom touch of the feathers. Paralyzed on the dirt, she could only keep looking at the chicken whose life she'd taken. Its neck was still winding in circles like a corkscrew, though the movement was slowly subsiding.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Suddenly, life held a new meaning. Sakura knew she'd never throw away food again.

Out of nowhere, she was overcome by outrage. Who were humans, to play god on another species? On one another? Who said they had any right to keep animals in cages, farms, to fatten them for slaughter? To give them life just to snuff it out. Just to fill a fat belly.

Sakura felt loathing. She thought to herself:

'This world is a cruel place. Only the strong thrive, and the helpless die.' It was truth. Sakura felt this deeply within her heart. Whether it was a defenseless chicken who had to be sacrificed because someone stronger needed sustenance, or whether it was a bridge-builder, or a fisher, or a young genin barely out of their career diapers, the strong would always thrive.

In the end, it was simple. The weak were a patch of grass someone stronger stepped on to build their own road in life. It was either the weeds that grew in their struggle for survival or the road leading towards a dream.

TWISTED

There was a man with a white, frizzy mane of hair and green clothes. A man who claimed to wield the title of toad sage on top of a supremacy in perversion. A very peculiar man this was, in more ways than one.

Uchiha Sasuke had come to one decision.

He wanted this subject to train him.

It had taken only basic observation to realize that this man was no ordinary fighter.

Sasuke said to him as much.

"Fight with me, old man."

This, coming from Sasuke, was a compliment of the highest order.

"Who're you calling old, _kid_?"

The man seemed to beg to differ.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Why not spar? You've got nothing to lose. I'll go easy on you."

"Nothing to lose, maybe. Kid, _you'd_ lose. So? What's in it for _me_?"

Sasuke worked his jaw.

"You would get to say you've beat Sasuke Uchiha."

 _The_ Sasuke Uchiha, last heir of a magnificent lineage.

"So, bragging rights?" The man chuckled. "Kid, you need to work on those bargaining skills." He wiggled his finger at Sasuke mockingly.

"Do elaborate," sneered Sasuke. "What do you propose I do?"

"For starters, try offering something the other party is interested in."

The old man smirked. Sasuke's eyes only went wider.

"Second: try to work up some modesty, kid. Third: don't bother – you won't be able to beat me either way."

Smirk still in place, the toad sage turned around and ambled down street.

TWISTED

Thirty minutes later, Sasuke and the bushman were still in the same situation.

"Will you stop following me, kid?"

"Not until we spar."

The pervert scrunched up his nose as though he'd smelled something foul.

"Like a challenge, do you?" he said sarcastically.

Sasuke regarded him coolly.

"You could say that."

The toad sage turned around suddenly, a wildly unnerved look in his eyes. Suddenly, it turned mischievous.

"ALRIGHY! The Toad Sage has listened to your – request. After prolonged inner counsel, a decision has been reached!"

Sasuke tensed. "What is it?"

"I'll fight you – not so quick, kid! – only if… you get me to jump of a cliff." He grinned. "Good luck with that, yo!"

And with that, the toad sage disappeared down street, leaving a baffled but determined Sasuke behind.

TWISTED

It was dusk. Sakura felt, more than ever, alone. On top of her tree, with the huge milky way dwarfing her up in the firmament above and the precipice threatening down bellow, Sakura felt more insignificant than she'd felt in a long time. Nights at the forest were always the worst. The loneliest. Sakura sighed, pulling out her journal. She'd been writing in it these past few days. It was an escape, an anchor, a constant that kept her grounded in this terrible forest.

She'd quickly learned, writing was therapeutic.

 _Today I've taken a life._ No, she was not one of those people who started with 'dear diary'. Sakura didn't hesitantly chew on her pen, the worst were spilling out of her with zero vacilation. _It was the life of a small bird, but I feel terrible for it. I feel like I might not be cut out to be a ninja after all…_ She sighed. Sakura only dared tell this to the paper. _Perhaps mum is right and I should go become a dancer instead. I feel like I'm not ready to be merciless. To kill in the name of duty. I'm not ready to pretend at playing god so selfishly. No, ready isn't even the word, because that would imply a time might come when I feel nothing when taking a life._

Wait. Was that a sound? Sakura tensed.

"Who's there?" she asked the darkness. She felt silly, no one could be. Sakura might've babbled stupidly at the shadows; it wouldn't make a difference for any possible animal that might be lurking in the under-bush. It would understand little besides for the fear in her voice.

Then, many things happened at once. A branch creaked, and in less than half a second, Sakura's reptilian brain had taken over again and she'd thrown a shuriken. And just then, a voice.

"Looks like your aim's improving, Sakura-chan."

She jumped, her eyes wider than saucers.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

The signature slouching figure of her mentor materialized itself in front of her, the shuriken spinning lazily in his finger.

"That would be me."

Sakura couldn't help herself. She lunged forwards to give him a hug, desperate to touch another human being. Kakashi retreated on instinct, looking slightly bewildered. Sakura stopped death in her tracks. An awkward silence ensued.

"Er, sorry about that, Sensei."

"That's alright," said Kakashi awkwardly. Silence. Then, "How's the forest treating you?"

Sakura frowned.

"It's fine." She suddenly felt defensive. She refused to show weakness. "I'm training so I can stand on the same level as Gaara."

Kakashi chocked.

"Shouldn't you be worrying about the Hyuga first?"

"Worrying won't get me anywhere. I have a plan."

"An armor, you mean? You won't win with that alone." How did he know about the armor? Kakashi made a pinched expression. "It's fine if you don't pass, Sakura-chan. This year's batch of candidates–"

"No, it's not fine!" Sakura yelled. "I have to fight Gaara! This is crucial!" _I need to protect my teammates!_ She'd go up against Gaara. She didn't need to win. It was only a matter of exposing his true colors to the spectators. If he tried to kill her, he'd be disqualified. She told Kakashi as much.

"Huh, so that's why…" he said after a moment. "Sakura, this plan you have – it's not very sensible, is it? This isn't your style."

"My plan is sound. The hokage wouldn't risk having either Naruto or Sasuke fight against Gaara when he sees what a monster that sicko is. Naruto and Sasuke… They're too valuable to the village."

"That sounds awfully like a student of mine is undermining herself," commented Kakashi.

"I'm just telling you my plan!"

"And am I not free to give my opinion? It's a terrible idea. Suicidal, even. Sakura, leave it be."

"No!"

They stared at each other intensely.

"Look, you'll be in the crowd, Sensei! Watching! As soon as Gaara gets murderous, you can jump in!"

Kakashi paused. Sakura felt hopeful. Was he considering her proposal?

"Sakura-chan, you're my precious student, you know that? I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

And this time, Sakura did hug him.

"Thanks! Thanks so much! With your help, the plan will work out, I just know it!"

At the time, Sakura did not realize that this would be the last hug she ever gave him.


	40. Verbal Spars

Sayaka had been working at 'Mirrors' for only a short amount of time. Even so, she prided herself in recognizing most of the regulars already. There was Shinta-san, for instance, who came every week to get her curls done. Others too, such as Kana-san or Haruno-san. Lately, there had been a greater variety of customers, which, according to the manager, was due to the impending chunin exams, as these were a national event. In short, Sayaka could tell that money was flowing.

That particular day, two weeks before the exam, she'd been chopping up a pageboy haircut for one Miss Takeda-san as she waited for Haruno-san's hair-dye to work its magic.

"Minamoto-san!" Turning at the mention of her name, Sayaka saw the shop attendant at the counter gesturing for her to come over. She crossed the room in a hurry.

"What is it?" she questioned, the stress mounting.

"Sayaka-san," whispered the attendant. "Would you mind taking care of our – ah, special customer? He just got here." Glancing back at the attendant with wide eyes, Sayaka froze. Even though he hadn't once showed up since her tenure at Mirrors, the newbie had already heard enough tales about the one and only Special Pass Hatake to know that she absolutely didn't want to be stuck with him.

"I'm so sorry, Shizuo-san… I was taking care of two other clients… I'm afraid I won't have time…"

The attendant laughed grimly. "Heard about Special Pass Hatake, have you?" He glanced at Sayaka's little corner of the salon. "Suzuki will take care of finishing that pageboy cut – and Haruno-san will have some waiting to do anyways. I'll send someone to trim her curls when the dyeing is done. Now take care of Hatake, Minamoto. I'm sure you know the stories."

Sayaka did. There were many rumors and wild tales about this man, so many in fact that it was hard to discern truth from fabrication. One thing, however, was clear: Hatake was a seasoned ninja. One of the elite, on top of that… and also – most unfortunately – a not-so-regular customer of Mirrors.

If Sayaka was being completely honest, her palms were sweating way too much for it to be acceptable. Her job was, after all, to put her palms in people's scalps full-time… But in her defense, she'd never met such a high-ranking ninja in person, never mind the legendary Special Pass Hatake. What if she made a fool out of herself?

But Sayaka did have orders. Orders which she had little choice but to follow. So, gloomily, she began to walk towards the long line of waiting clients in order to look for him.

"Ah… Hatake-san? May Hatake-san step forward, please?"

Most of the customers waiting for their turn focused on her. No sooner had she closed her mouth, they united under the same banner in order to complain about the unfairness of a free pass. Sayaka was getting increasingly nervous as she tried and failed to placate them.

"Hatake-san?" she called again, this time louder.

"Over here," a voice said. Sayaka glanced with shock at the bald, stocky man who was standing where the voice had come from.

Sorry? So this was the big shot elite ninja? What did he even have to trim? To further her surprise, a gloved hand very slowly rose from behind the bald guy, and, before Sayaka could hope to check her stumped expression, the man belonging to the hand moseyed forward.

He was not bald. But the thing he called hair was almost worse.

Completely thrown off, Sayaka just stared at him.

For some reason, Special Pass Hatake seemed to have thought it fitting to bring his dog along for the trip. Sayaka could only hope that the odious canine better know not to pee on her profesional scissors! The picture the couple created was strange, as the dog sort of seemed more in control of the situation than Hatake himself, whose hair, to go back to that particular point of interest, was grey, weathered, and basically looked like a dead bush with pigeon poop on top… in short like he could really use a haircut.

If it wasn't the dog, Sayaka was certain that the bush-man would manage to ruin her precious scissors. And then, as she lifted her critical gaze from Special Pass Hatake's pet to the man himself, Sayaka nearly had a heart-attack.

From up close, he was good-looking! Say what? Her womanly instincts felt like a compass turned on its head.

"Something the matter, Sayaka Minamoto?" Hatake asked.

Sayaka tried to play off her surprise.

"It's just… you do sort of need a haircut, huh?" She laughed meekly. "Hey, but don't worry, Hatake-san, you're in the right hands! I mean, I know you must've probably got stuck in some sort of shady underground lair, unable to trim or wash your hair for months–"

"Actually, the haircut's for me," a deep voice asserted… from the floor.

Sayaka froze for the second time that day.

Very slowly, her gaze trailed downwards, horrorstruck at what she saw: the dog was talking. The dog!

"And be sure not to touch my delicate paws," it carried on with a woof of warning tagged at the end. "I'd also favor the Summer Fragrance lotion spray. Woof!"

"We don't have that in here."

The dog eyed her. It was ridiculous, but Sayaka felt a chill run down her back. "Foolish humans!" the pug exclaimed. "Think you can trick my nose, do you?"

Sayaka gulped. "We d-do have it in stock, on second thought."

A satisfied bark.

"Now that wasn't so difficult, was it?" asked Hatake. He was looking at his book so intently that Sayaka wondered whether he was talking to it.

"W-wait…" she stuttered, trying to catch his attention. "That's for… uh… _humans_. You're not supposed to use that– I mean, why don't you go to a hair-dresser for pets?"

Before Sayaka realized what had happened, the dog had chomped into her belt. The belt in which she stuck her precious tools.

"Nooo! My scissors!"

"Don't call me a _pet_ ," the pug snarled. "Woof!"

Meanwhile, Hatake, who'd been busy reading – Hashirama's mullet! Was that _porn_? – took it upon himself to interfere, namely: taking sides with the dog.

"He's touchy about his paws," Hatake explained sensibly, still not looking at Sayaka. "Don't worry though, lady. Pakun becomes compliant if you massage his scalp."

 _Eep!_

Sayaka stared at Hatake in utmost horror. She didn't want to get those dog hairs all over her brushes! Who knew in what kinds of mud that beastly hound had wallowed?

"Oi," the dog called. "What are you waiting for, girly?" Turning to his owner, he commented wisely: "Humans are stupid creatures. Woof! No offense, Kakashi. How can you stand them?"

"Offense taken. The author of these books is a genius."

That smarmy bastard! Sayaka stewed in silence. Who was he, to go defending smutty pornography but not a maiden's honor? That dog needed to be educated immediately! And the owner could go straight to the doghouse!

Livid, Sayaka glared at the duo. "Please excuse me. I will get you the lotion," she said frigidly.

"You are excused," the dog allowed genially, hopping into one of the nicely cushioned, expensive, pee and poop-free stools.

They were so getting the haircut of their lives. It would be positively unforgettable.

 **TWISTED**

Sayaka returned to the pair, dread pooling in her gut. But just as all hope seemed lost for her poor, human-intended brushes, Sayaka spotted Haruno-san pointedly staring.

"You know them, Haruno-san?"

"Unfortunately," Haruno allowed. "If you don't mind, I'd like to sit next to Hatake."

What?

Sayaka nodded slowly. "Right… I'll roll your chair over."

 **TWISTED**

"Hatake."

Kakashi looked up from his book for the first time.

"Would you look at that… If it isn't Sakura's mom!"

"The one and only," snapped Mebuki.

"You look…" Kakashi made a show of appearing thoughtful. "How to put this? …distraught."

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, Hatake. I've no patience for your little games."

Kakashi looked at her, his expression now different. "Neither do I."

"Then answer me," demanded Mebuki forcefully. "Where is my daughter?"

"Training."

"Oh, don't you dare! If you so much as try to withhold her location…!"

"Rest assured that I won't," Kakashi promised. "She's in the forest of death, near the misty mires."

"I can't believe this! Those are dangerous!"

Kakashi looked at Mebuki unblinkingly. "I won't pretend otherwise. But it's nothing compared to the storm."

"Storm? What storm?"

Kakashi pursued his book anew, refusing to say.

"Hatake, what…"

"I am bound to silence, as a ninja is wont to be," was the last he uttered.

 **TWSITED**

At the same time in a different place, team ten had met up to review Naruto's memories.

They were, once again, submerged in the sea of days long past.

At the current moment, they were speeding through Naruto's memories of tree climbing practice, in order to arrive at the actual confrontation with Zabuza.

"Hey! Teme! I won't let you beat me to the top!" Naruto was yelling.

He and Sasuke were climbing steep trees with only their chakra. Sakura was nowhere to be seen.

Choji sneezed.

As if on cue, Naruto slipped on a tree branch and plummeted downwards. It was by then natural for him to break the fall. Still, the blonde menace ended up sprawled on the floor, panting.

"Need a break, idiot?" taunted Sasuke, smirking.

"Like hell I do, moron!" Naruto returned. He glanced up at the tree again. He only seemed to be getting worse lately!

Maybe he did need a break. But Naruto refused to be the first to cave. Not before Sasuke.

They stared at one another pointedly.

"Let's go," Sasuke said.

"Where?"

"To see what's taking Kakashi so long."

Naruto could agree to that. It was a roundabout way of taking a break – both at the same time – a truth.

They marched trough the forest side by side, weary of the traps they knew Sakura had spread around. Naruto shivered at the mere memory of their grueling afternoons of trap-dodging.

After a while, they heard noise.

"…and here I thought you had passable chakra control. Ma, such a let-down."

That was Kakashi's voice, unmistakably.

But then, without missing a beat, came a voice they knew very intimately yet still foreign.

"I'll have you know, Sensei, that I was the best at chakra control of my promotion! And don't you dare say otherwise! LIAR!"

It appeared to be Sakura's voice. Yet it sounded so… not Sakura.

"Is that Sakura?" asked Choji uncertainly.

"I recognize the voice alright," said Ino. "But… really? Forehead only cusses like that at me. No way she'd sass at her teacher!"

But the conversation continued.

"Now you've hurt my feelings, Sakura-chan," drawled Kakashi. "When have I ever lied to you?"

Naruto and Sasuke peered around a bush. Sakura was doing push-ups on the floor, seething.

"Like, EVERY DAMN MORNING MAYBE?!"

Kakashi looked calm as ever.

"Sorry? I think you're the fraud here. You call _that_ a push-up?" Kakashi nodded towards Sakura's flimsy attempt. "See, it's not. Your life is a lie."

If looks could kill, Sakura would be a murderer.

"I'm so done with you, Kakashi-sensei! You're _such_ a jerk! And I'm also done with you adding ten push-ups to the list whenever I finish! I can count, you know!"

"I guess. Let's move on to other reps. Are you familiar with suicides?"

"Are _you_ familiar with suicides? Because if you aren't, I can teach you!"

"Mou. _I'm_ the teacher here. You're still in your diapers."

"Excuse me?! Who's the child-adult here! Because I'm not the one whose handwriting looks like chicken scratch!"

"I know, it's a work of art."

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

While Kakashi and Sakura were busy yapping at each other, Naruto and Sasuke exchanged stupefied glances.

"Is this… real?" Sasuke muttered.

"No way!" Naruto looked just as flabbergasted. "I never knew this side of Sakura-chan! Why didn't she tell me sooner that she's so badass?!"

Sasuke gave a rather undignified snort.

"Your criteria never ceases to amaze."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

Hissing, Sasuke clapped a hand over Naruto's mouth.

"Shut up, dobe. Do you want them to notice us?"

Upon Sasuke's insistence, the two boys left the clearing in order to keep training.

Since then, the flow of Naruto's memories clearly changed. The ones where he was climbing trees passed quickly, as they were all repetitive and similar. The things he remembered best, however, were his breaks from training, in which Naruto often utilized his new tree-climbing skills to sneak close to the clearing, and spectate on Sakura's verbal spars with their teacher. Naruto had always been proud of his sense of humor, and he was secretly pleased that Sakura had it too. One thing was clear: she was prankster material, whether she knew this or not.

Sasuke, on the other hand, didn't usually tag along for the show, claiming that it was none of his business. But Naruto knew better. He knew that Sasuke was curious too, but simply too prideful to risk getting caught spying.

Naruto, however, had no issue with that.

"All these push-ups are getting _so_ old! Sensei, can't I do something less… grueling?" Once again, Sakura was complaining. Admittedly, she had a right to.

As though deaf, Kakashi passed a page of his book dispassionately. Naruto felt slightly sorry for the suffering Sakura. Kakashi clearly didn't, as he said:

"Since you think them 'old', why not try something more juvenile?"

Sakura stared at him oddly. "Have you ever even talked to a little kid, Sensei?"

"I am right now."

"Ehhhh?!"

Kakashi seemed unaware of the insult, or at least didn't care.

"This is my final offer, you know. Either take it or leave it."

Sakura glared at him. "Let's hear it then."

Grinning Kakashi produced a rope from his pocket. "Jump."

"Excuse me?" Sakura asked. "Are you actually telling me to train by _jumping rope_?"

"Why yes. I can't imagine why I didn't think of this earlier."

"But that's a game for _little girls_! I doubt Zabuza will be impressed with my hotchpot skills!"

"Hotchpot?" Kakashi hummed to himself. "I like your thinking, Sakura-chan. Instead of jumping rope normally, you can do so on one leg."

"Eh?! What am I, a stork?"

"Getting existentialist, are we? You see, Sakura-chan, that's a question I can't answer for you lest you have an identity crisis."

By this point, Kurenai and Asuma were gaping, both very perplexed by Kakashi's behavior.

"Is it sad that that's the most I've ever heard him speak?" mused Asuma.

"I don't know," said Kurenai. "Maybe you should start a debate about storks and see where it gets you with him."

Asuma grinned, though then looked thoughtful again. "Perhaps the old man was right. A team of kids did Hatake some good, from the looks of it."

Whether it did Sakura any good was questionable though. She was huffing and puffing as she tiredly kept jumping rope. By the looks of it, it was far more tiring than she'd originally assumed. Whenever Sakura's exhaustion made her feet trip and she fell face-first on the dirt, Kakashi would mercilessly egg her on to get up again.

One such time, however, he went a little too far:

"Ma, ma, Sakura-chan. That was a bit sloppy, don't you think? What was it that you said to Naruto yesterday? That Sasuke doesn't like slobs…?"

Ino cringed.

"Ouch. That's _harsh_."

Everyone looked on sympathetically as Sakura's head dropped on the floor once again. She looked abated and understandably downtrodden, but then–

Sakura was suddenly on the other side of the field, trying to strangle Kakashi with the rope.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" she screeched.

"You mean the rope?" Inquired Kakashi innocently, as he wrangled with Sakura and her chocking attempts.

"YOU'RE SUCH A SMART-ASS!"

"That's very kind of you, Sakura-chan. I always suspected you had a good eye for intelligence."

"YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY, HUH? WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU–"

Whatever Sakura's news were, team ten would never know, for in that moment, Kakashi's usual book slipped from his pouch, where he'd hastily stuffed it upon Sakura's attack. And like every good kunoichi, Sakura seized the opportunity, or rather, the book.

Her face was utterly triumphant as she clutched Kakashi's most priced possession in her hand, and yelled:

" _Ha!_ I'm going to throw this filth into the lake! Let's see who's laughing then!" She was exultant, but not for long.

Yelling about how it wasn't filth, Kakashi made a wild grab for the book, which evolved into a tug-war, with Sakura gripping one end of Icha Icha and Kakashi the other. They struggled for a moment, and with every passing second, Sakura looked more and more like she was about to die from the exertion. But like all things, the fight for the book ended.

And that's when it happened: the novel broke by its spine. Sakura was then thrown backwards by her own momentum, while Kakashi stood stock still, looking particularly wide-eyed. In his globed hand, an ex-book hung limply.

Sprawled on the floor now, Sakura slowly lowered her eyes to her hands, where the remnants of the other half of the Icha Icha novel lay.

Looking genuinely apologetic, she began saying: "I'm so sorr-" But Sakura stopped her speech in the middle, in favor of outright fleeing. And good thing she did.

Kakashi was exuding a positively deadly aura. Sakura hadn't taken off a moment too soon, because Kakashi was apparently after her head now.

"Throw it into the lake, you said?" the jonin mused loudly. "I suppose a test run is in order!"

And suddenly Sakura had been hauled towards the pond at breakneck speeds.

"ACK!" she yelled.

And then, with a loud splash, her prone form disappeared into the water.

"Oh my god! He's violent!" Ino squeaked.

"Huh?" Naruto scratched his head. "Sensei's pretty chill, but sometimes he gets like that! When we were doing the bell-test, I got my ass handed by him! And I mean it literally! He called that A Hundred Years of Death!"

Everyone was starting at Naruto with deadpan expressions.

"Right. Well… moving on," said Asuma uncomfortably, "let's just keep watching."

Sakura had been inside the lake for over a minute now, and Memory-Naruto had started to get edgy up in his tree. Just as he was about to reveal his cover and jump on to pull (a possibly drowning) Sakura out, Kakashi himself ambled over to the lake. He crouched near the surface and peered inside.

But then… a pale hand shot out and latched onto Kakashi's ankle. And _pulled_.

Naruto thought for sure that Kakashi would fall into the pond, but he didn't.

Instead, the jonin moseyed forwards, actually _walking_ on the water, and pulled out Sakura by the scruff of her neck.

"Ma, try not to be so obvious next time, Sakura-chan."

Sakura looked dejected at her failed attempt to drench Kakashi.

It was then that the red of her swollen skin became obvious.

Noticing Kakashi's stare, Sakura seethed: "See, that's your fault, Sensei! The water _hurts_!"

"Oh? Don't tell me you don't know how to parry a fall with chakra?" said Kakashi.

"How am I supposed to know such a thing when you didn't teach me, genius!" sniped Sakura.

Kakashi didn't answer. In fact, he did something completely weird. Quicker than a snake, he acted. Before Sakura knew what was happening, she was on the floor in a crab position.

"What did you do?!" she said with panic. The palms of her hand were on the ground, as were her feet, and she had no idea how to return to normal.

"Like it?" Kakashi grinned evily. "It's a jutsu I picked up from some mist shinobi on a mission… definitely a treat."

"You… you're doing this in vindication because of your book!"

"Am I really?" Kakashi looked thoughtful. "But I'm a saint."

"What you are is petty!"

"Normally you use 'handsome' for men and 'pretty' for women, but thank you, Sakura-chan. I'll take that as a compliment."

"I said PETTY!"

"Such enthusiasm."

"Gosh! WILL YOU STOP THIS CRAPPY NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!"

"I think what you are trying to say is 'crabby' nonsense." Kakashi snickered.

"If you don't, I'll report you to the hokage!"

"You do that. He might grant you an audience… in three years' time."

Sakura blistered.

"Don't you feel ashamed?! YOU'RE A TERRIBLE TEACHER!"

Kakashi feigned innocence.

"Why should I? If you crawl along in that pose for a while, then I'm sure you'll train up all of your muscles. Isn't that what you wanted? A break from push-ups? Well, then let's take a walk." He grinned. "See? I'm a marvelous teacher."

Sakura looked marvelously furious. After a moment in which she seemed to have lost her ability to speak, she stuttered:

"This… you can't do this to me!"

Kakashi cocked his head to one side.

"Haven't I already?""You'll make me look ridiculous!"

"Did you just call an entire raze ridiculous, Sakura-chan? The crabs would be offended."

"BUT WHAT IF SASUKE-KUN SEES ME!"

"He won't if we take the scenic route."Sakura's eyes narrowed.

"You mean the trap infested one?"

Kakashi grinned.

"You know me so well…"

TWISTED

Shit, this was a dead end. Sakura was panicking. Her frantic breathing intermingled with the rush of blood in her ears and the pounding in her chest. Behind her, she could hear the tiny sounds of many, many legs crawling towards her. She knew what kind of legs those were. They were hairy legs, long and spindly and black. Eight of them. More than that, because she was being chased by a whole horde of giant spiders.

Yes, you heard that right.

Giant. Spiders.

Sakura hadn't even done anything to them! She'd just been looking around for food… and voila! She'd _become_ food instead.

But Sakura wasn't about to let herself be eaten. So she ran.

It had been nearly an entire hour since then, yet the spiders were still on her heels.

And now she'd hit a dead end.

In her blind, panicky escape, Saura had somehow managed to get lost in a moor, too lost to know her way back to the earlier trees. Who knew there was a mire in the forest of death?

One way or another, only murky water lay ahead, and the spiders behind. The water looked tricky, and not the kind you could swim trough easily.

She was over.

Sakura felt panic welling up within her.

What now?

Drowning?

Or the spiders?

They were closing in. She had maybe eight seconds to choose how she wanted to die.

But then, suddenly, salvation struck in the form of a memory. It seemed like it had happened ages ago.

In her inner eye, Sakura could recall it perfectly though.

From underwater, she'd seen it. There was Kakashi, standing over her on the waves, looking down at her tauntingly. Then… wham! He'd pulled her out by the scruff of her collar. A dry look of amusement on his face had been followed by her shocked realization that he was standing on a lake.

And that was what saved her.

How had he done it?

 _Chakra,_ she surmised. Sakura thought of how easily she'd mastered the wall-walking exercise. This couldn't be much harder, could it?

It was then that she realized that the spiders were only meters away now, and without thinking, Sakura lurched forwards.

At first she sunk, sunk, sunk. But by the time the water had reached her knees, she'd managed to gain enough stability to wade away. Far away from those horrible tarantulas.

After a few minutes, the spiders were far behind her. Which meant Sakura could only do one thing. Advance.

As she pushed forwards, she became encased in white. Mist. There was mist everywhere. Sakura felt it crawling into her skin and bones, in her hair and in her nostrils. It was in every inch of the moor. It reminded her of Zabuza.

She pressed on.

After half an hour, Sakura had gotten good enough at water-walking that she could let her mind wander.

In his visit yesterday, Kakashi had aviced she practice her genjutsu skills. He'd said Neji was far too good at taijutsu for Sakura to beat him that way, and also that she hadn't enough chakra or time to master any ninjutsu skill that might be useful.

Genjutsu, however, was a sure way to win, he'd said. So Sakura practiced. While she walked, she experimented with the different hand-signs and combinations, and practiced what she already knew.

Though then she heard a sound… and not just any sound. Footsteps.

Was it Kakashi again?

Sakura grasped a kunai tightly.

Her instincts told her to be on her guard. It hadn't seemed as though Kakashi had planned to visit again. Who was this?

Hastily, she cast an illusion to conceal herself and did her best to keep quiet and move away. Now she was glad for her special hengue. Camouflage made things infinitely easier.

TWISTED

Meanwhile, Naruto and company were watching team seven eat dinner at Tazuna's house.

"I'm hungryyyy…" Choji whined.

"Be glad you don't have to eat that," said Shikamaru, gesturing toward the profered dishes. "So much rice would give you indigestion."

Ino was meanwhile laughing at something dramatically.

"What's so funny?" asked Kurenai.

Though then she saw for herself. Sakura was trying to eat her rice, yet for some reason, it kept falling back to her bowl. She would open her mouth hopefully… only for the rice to plop back onto her bowl.

It was then that Kurenai saw that her hand was shaking so badly that she could barely grip the chopsticks.

"I… is this the product of Kakashi's training?" she mused quietly.

Apparently, it wasn't the only thing that had come from it, because Sakura clearly now had a thirst for revenge.

She got up, politely asking if anyone else wanted tea.

Then she dumped the newly retrieved beverage on Kakashi.

"Woops." She smirked.

Kakashi looked at her like he couldn't quite believe this had happened. Naruto called Sakura a klutz and laughed. Sasuke imitated the fish he was eating and gaped.

But round two was only starting.

Next morning, Kakashi offered to help in the kitchen. Tsunami suggested he make eggs, so Kakashi went to the fridge and retrieved the eggs. Then he set up the frying pan… and then he used Sakura's forehead to crack the eggs open.

Sakura, now covered in egg white and remains, proceeded to wake the whole house with her screeching, while Kakashi commented on how if she were more hot-headed he could've used her forehead as a frying pan.

In the following days (which for the onlookers were reduced to passing and distant memories), they managed to fill the toothbrush cabinet with pigeon poop (later discovered by Sasuke), convert a pair of house slippers into a beehive, topple over the dinner table (Sakura had thrown a squid at Kakashi's face and he had tipped it over as a shield). Naruto had been collateral damage when Sakura's chair had misteriously given out and she'd clung to the first thing available, somehow managing to drag down Naruto with her.

Perhaps it wasn't very fair, but team ten had a grand time laughing (mainly) at Sakura's epic failures.

Once again, the memory changed to Sakura and Naruto sitting on the bridge. Sakura had a sketchpad out and was attempting to draw Naruto. It seemed like a normal enough memory, and Ino was about to impatiently ask when they were getting some action… but then the memory suddenly shut down. They were back in reality.

"What happened?" said Asuma.

Kurenai looked at Naruto with surprise. "Naruto cut it off."

They were all almost expecting the blonde to announce his necessity to relieve himself, but no such thing came.

His blue eyes were fixed in space, unblinking and lost.

"Naruto…?" This time it was Ino who spoke. "Are you good to go on?"Slowly, Naruto shook his head.

"What? Why not?" Ino exclaimed. "You made us all watch this crap for nothing–?"

"–Ino!" Kurenai exclaimed.

Asuma looked very serious. "Naruto, I understand if you don't want to share this with us… at least not right now."

Naruto looked relieved. "I… thanks, Cigar-Cigar."

He looked out of sorts. Scared, pained. Ino had never seen that expression on Naruto's face.

"I… I gotta go!" Without warning, Naruto bolted away and let them all shocked and curious, but most importantly: concerned.

 **A/N:**

 **Yo! So, how was it? I thought for sure a bit of humor would cheer you guys up. With this terrible weather (at least where I live) I know that _I_ could certainly use some cheeriness.**

 **Tell me if you liked reading this chapie just as much as I enjoyed writing it ;)**

 **Chao!**


	41. The Truth

**Remember when I said that there were some plot holes in the Wave arc that weren't covered back in the day but that we'd get there later on?**

 **Well, this is that promised _later on._**

 **Prepare to finally find out the truth about Wave!**

 **Trigger warnings: this chapter is _intense_. Not gonna say anything else.**

 **Also, I'm super stressed in real life right now, but all your encouraging comments pushed me to accomplish the impossible and actually type out a chapter. And a damn long one too.**

 **Hope you enjoy it :)**

Ibiki Morino was a man of few words. Perhaps more importantly however, was that when Ibiki Morino _the man_ spoke, his words were always heeded.

But there were two of him. Ibiki Morino _the shinobi_ happened to be a seasoned war veteran. He also happened to be head of the Torture and Interrogation division. To be blunt, Ibiki Morino was, most of all, a man not to be thrifted with.

This is why he was reasonably surprised when he found the entirety of his backyard vandalized. And by 'his', what was meant was the little patio behind T and I, where tortures went out during breaks to have a quaint little smoke before tearing into their caltive's minds.

Alas, their chillin' would be ruined by the awful sight of offending graffiti on every inch of the walls.

Ibiki paused on the door-swell, staring at the patio with muted disbelief.

Suddenly, he heard muffled laughter coming from the rooftop. Smirking to himself, Ibiki surmised that he'd been lucky. The laughter could only mean that the perpetrator hadn't yet left the scene. Too bad Ibiki the shinobi was always insanely early to work.

With the silence only born from long years of constant practice, he crept up to the roof, being mindful to keep to the shadows. He wondered how the intruder had gotten past the guards… or more pressingly: who would be insane enough to risk their neck just to draw some graffiti? Didn't this person know whose walls exactly the graffiti had ended up? They'd have to be a ninja to get past the guards… and no ninja would want to have a bone to pick with T and I.

So the intruder either was an idiot or simply skilled enough that he could afford to sneak about.

Which would be a problem. This was the T and I building. Ibiki thought to himself that perhaps reassigning the ANBU guards hadn't been such a good idea. Even if it was because of the chunin exams.

By this point, he'd reached the rooftop. Ibiki waited a beat, then swung himself over the edge in one powerful motion.

"GAH!"

For a second, Ibiki and the 'perpetrator' stared at each other.

 _Him…!_ Ibiki remembered, from the first phase of the chunin exam, the one candidate who had passed without touching his paper. Without cheating. The one boy who had lifted the moral of all those about to quit.

Uzumaki Naruto.

"AHHHH! I was found out!" the blond menace yelled. "Abort operation! Abort!"

And he launched himself into the air. Ibiki wasn't about to let him get off the hook though.

In the blink of an eye, he'd caught up to Uzumaki Naruto, who swiveled out of the way with an impressive assortment of reflexes and skill. He had the prankster nature in his blood, Ibiki knew. He also knew that Naruto wasn't very subtle in anything. For one, he'd already let Ibiki see his face. For another, he kept shouting 'Abort! Abort!' just in case Ibiki had any trouble pinpointing his location.

"The only thing aborted here is your escape, Uzumaki!" Ibiki yelled, and propped himself on the wall before Naruto. "You've hit a dead end. Give it up."

Naruto eyed him warily. "I guess I have no choice left…" the blonde said, reading to use a jutsu. Instantly, Ibiki the shinobi tensed, preparing for anything that may come.

Ibiki the man, however, wasn't too worried. He was rather curious, in fact. What harebrained scheme did Uzumaki Naruto have in stock for him? From what he'd seen and heard of the blonde so far, he had quite the interesting mind.

"PREPARE TO LOSE ALL YOUR BLOOD!"

Ibiki pulled out a precautionary kunai.

Naruto yelled:

"SEXY JUTSU!"

Ibiki stared, shocked, as a nude girl materialized where Uzumaki Naruto had just stood. She gave him a flirty wink and flipped her hair dashingly. Ibiki wondered what his life had come to.

"…stop staring at me like a dead fish!" the girl suddenly yelled. "This is the part where you're supposed to get a nosebleed and keel over!"

Snapping out of his stupor, Ibiki marched over to the girl – or rather, a transformed Uzumaki Naruto – and grabbed his (her?) ponytail.

"Spare me," Ibiki ground out. "You're cleaning that graffiti for me, Uzumaki, and no amount of mischief will help you."

"No fair, good mister…" Uzumaki pouted.

Clearly he needed some convincing.

"Listen. Either you clean up your mess right now, or I'm talking to the hokage about revoking your application to the chunin exam."

As predicted, Naruto's eyes flew wide open.

"Gah! I'm on it, okay!"

Ibiki smirked. "Now that's more like it."

 **TWISTED**

Meanwhile, in a remote part of the forest, walking on top of a misty mire, Sakura was still trying to shake off her alarming pursuer. The operating word being: _trying_ – for she was losing ground spectacularly.

"Sakura! Stop right this instant, young lady!"

Sakura started and came to an immediate halt.

"Mom…?"

Trough the thick fog emerged Mebuki, looking pale and sweaty. Sakura had no doubt that she must be quite the sight herself.

Mebuki didn't waste any time. She threw her arms around Sakura and crushed her into a hug. Sakura felt her mother's body quake as she held her. Was she crying?

"I… I'm sorry, mum," Sakura said. "I should've warned you I was coming here, but…"

She'd expected Mebuki to yell, maybe to ground her and pull her back home by the ear. What she hadn't been expecting was a punch to the shoulder.

Mebuki was suddenly in a fighting stance, her lips pressed together and her eyes resolute.

Sakura understood then: this wasn't her mom losing her temper or venting, this was her mom getting over her misgivings just so she could help Sakura with the exam.

Sakura eased into a fighting stance herself, mimicking Mebuki. Last time they'd fought, Sakura hadn't stood a chance. She felt nervous. Had she improved at all? She'd passed the first two fases of the exam… that had to count for something, no?

And so the spar began.

 **TWISTED**

Meanwhile, Naruto was scrubbing a wall.

"So…" said Ibiki, who was at that moment bored of his paperwork. "Care to humor me?"

"Hmm?" Naruto kept staring at the wall.

"Why'd you vandalize this place, kid? Any reason in particular?"

"What I do with my free time's none of your business," Naruto grouched.

"Maybe should've thought about that before getting me involved."

Naruto kept scrubbing away at the wall morosely.

Ibiki decided that he was better than this. He'd pry the truth from the teen and that was that. He was the head of the intelligence division, dang it.

"To be honest," he said casually, "I'd almost thought you'd given up pranking."

"That's because I have!" Naruto exclaimed vehemently. "I'm a ninja now, believe it!"

"Not sure if I do," Ibiki muttered. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but were you not just 'pranking' and damaging civil property? In front of my nose?"

"That explains it. Your nose is so big that it must've tricked you, dude."

Ibiki couldn't believe the nerve of this boy.

"Leave my nose out of this."

"Why? Feeling touchy about it?" Naruto wiggled his eyebrows. Ibiki restrained his urge to sock the boy.

"I'd at least like to know why you thought it a great idea to vandalize the torture and interrogation building."

"So that's what this place is? Figured it smelled weird."

Ibiki wondered whether the boy was a genius or an idiot. Was he skillfully dodging the questions, or did he simply get sidetracked easily?"

"Look," Ibiki rubbed his temples. "I don't care why you felt the need to make a mess, but our village needs to be at its best right now. We can't afford pranks… now less than ever. So clean up, Uzumaki. I'm letting you off the hook lightly – only because you're a competitor. Clean this quickly, and then return to training. Understand?"

Naruto frowned.

"That's just it! That's the problem!"

"Explain."

"I can't go back to Cigar Cigar! He and the others expect me to… to show them something. And I don't wanna. And I don't know what to do, 'cuz that's the only teacher Kakashi-sensei recommended."

Ibiki crossed his arms. "Sounds like a conundrum."

"That's because it is!"

"Why don't you train by yourself?"

Naruto frowned. "I've been doing that since first grade. It's not the same thing."

Ibiki felt reluctant admiration for this orphan boy who had carved his path in life through shear work and determination.

"Well… why don't you just tell your teacher whatever he wants to know?"

Naruto frowned. "It's a really private issue. Nothing he has the right to see. Also, it involves Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme and Kakashi-sensei, it's not just me."

"So… is it about a mission you went on?"

Naruto hesitated.

"I… yeah. Cigar-Cigar said it'd be a good idea to revise my memories of it 'cause I need to improve my strategic thinking. And it was fine! Really, it was. But I don't wanna show them this part of the mission."

Ibiki looked at Naruto for a long moment.

"Look, Uzumaki. I won't pretend I don't understand your dilema… but as you said: you're a ninja. If you do become chunin, you'll have to spill the beans of every single mission to the hokage, the intelligence division, and whoever else needs to hear. And they won't even be your friends. The same goes for your teammates."

Naruto looked at him searchingly. "So you're saying I should tell them just 'cause I'll have to that anyway later in the future."

"I didn't necessarily say that. But I do think it's best to try and talk about it with someone you trust first."

"I guess maybe I trust Cigar-Cigar. But there's also Vampy-neechan and Ino and Choji and Shikamaru. I barely know _them_!"

Ibiki had to give that much to the boy. He wasn't thick enough to go sharing his secrets with just about anyone.

"Seems a little unreasonable to let a gaggle of kids in on it. Did your teacher mention what he was trying to achieve?"

"They're his team," said Naruto wryly. "I guess he wanted them to see so they could learn from my mistakes and stuff."

Ibiki looked at Naruto thoughtfully. "Tell me. Did this mission involve a lot of close calls, or combat experience, or otherwise hard situations?"

"Yeah. It was…" Naruto trailed off, looking lost. "We had to fight this super strong guy. And Sensei ended up passed out at the beginning. And there was barely food variety, because the country was really poor. And… and Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan nearly died. It was so bad."

He looked pained by the recollection alone. Ibiki had thought the children of this generation would be less desensitized towards violence and loss, but maybe not. Or maybe it was just Uzumaki's team.

"Look, Uzumaki… what would you say if I told you that those kids on Asuma's team don't have a snowball's chance in hell of surviving compared to your team?"

Naruto looked up, alarmed. Ibiki wondered whether it was alright to tell him this. But it was true. The invasion would surely take many lives…

"What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about, Grumps!"

Apparently he'd gotten himself a nickname for his troubles. Oh well.

"That's exactly what I mean. Your experiences in that mission have strengthened you in a way that has nothing to do with muscle and everything with reactions."

"So…" Naruto hesitantly trailed off. "So if there was more trouble… I mean big trouble like the snake lady at the forest of death… would that mean that Shikamaru and Choji and Ino might… might _die_?"

"Glad you caught my drift, kid. _This is all **hypothetical** of course_," Ibiki emphasized.

Naruto turned back to the wall without comment and continued scrubbing it. Ibiki eyed him for a moment longer, then returned to his paperwork.

In the long span of his career, he'd seen many things. But twelve-year-olds who coped with their worries by vandalizing T and I at the risk of their own neck was not one of them.

 **TWISTED**

"Cigar-Cigar! Hey! Wait up!" Asuma and his team looked back down the road, where Naruto was running at breakneck speed, Kurenai in tow.

Upon arriving, Naruto skidded to a halt.

"I… I've changed my mind," he panted. "I'll show you the memory."

"Alrighty!" Ino grinned cheerily. "Glad you trust us, Naruto!"

She gave him a celebratory hug.

Little did any of them know what was coming.

 **TWISTED**

They were back where they'd left off, at the foggy bridge. And like last time, Naruto asked:

"Ne, Sakura-chan, what's that doodle?"

Sakura seemed to twitch with the urge to hit Naruto on the head, but restrained herself. Barely.

Suddenly, she seemed to have an idea.

"Naruto! Stay put, I'm going to draw you."

The hours passed with meaningless banter, the members of team ten failing to understand what was so wrong about the memory.

 _("Hey, hey! Sakura-chan! Can you feed me again?"_

 _"Naruto-baka! You're a clone!")_

But then, unbidden, came a strangled sound from behind them. Sakura gave a start, a kunai in her hand before Naruto even realized what was going on. Thankfully, it was just Tazuna, who had chocked on his alcohol.

The members of team ten looked on in confusion. But then they peered a little bit closer and froze. Tazuna was still staring wide-eyed at something behind them, and that's when Sakura lost her nerve. In a fit of panic, she grabbed a flustered Naruto and dragged him to stand in formation before the bridge builder.

Naruto too seemed to understand that something was very, very wrong, his head swiveling around frantically, his teeth gritted so strongly that they were gnashing loudly.

But that was it. Nothing else pointed towards any imminent danger. They were surrounded by silence and mist.

Ino whimpered.

Yet then… Sakura gave a start – she had definitely seen something. In a beat, she went deadly pale, looking terrified.

A stifled gasp cut through the silence, and, without warning, Sakura bolted into the opposite direction.

Naruto, eyes widened in horror and confusion, grabbed Tazuna and razed behind her.

And that's when it dawned on them all:

Zabuza had returned.

 **TWISTED**

Unfortunately, "the opposite direction" happened to be where the bridge ended.

"Shit…" muttered Shikamaru, glancing at Sakura. "She ran away like a headless chicken. Now they're stuck!"

"Let's see _you_ try and keep your cool in a situation like that!" Ino defended.

Spectator-Naruto was rocking backwards and forwards, looking absent and terrified at once.

Team ten looked upon illusionary Naruto and Sakura. They were cornered, with nowhere to go, nowhere to flee…

The situation couldn't look grimmer.

Sakura was hyperventilating, trembling, scared, with Naruto closely behind. There was a precipice behind them, where the bridge ended. The sound of the waves heralded ominous promises of no escape.

"Wait! Sakura-chan!" Naruto whispered loudly, tugging at her sleeve. "We can do _this_!"

And then he was suddenly walking upside down on the bridge precipice, Tazuna secured firmly in his grip. All the tree-walking had paid off!

Naruto was about to return upwards to grab Sakura, but, to his slack-jawed surprise, his teammate was right behind him, walking upside down on the wet wall.

"Did she literally just pick up chakra walking on the fly?!" Ino questioned shakily.

Apparently she had. Thank Kaguya she had. Thanks to that, Sakura could hurry over the bridge's rafters, right behind Naruto and Tazuna.

But then, without waiting or warning, Sakura whispered a command: "Naruto! Transform into me!" Sakura was speaking feverishly, shaking as she snatched Tazuna's smelly sake bottle away. For what purpose, Naruto didn't know.

Hurriedly, Sakura made some obscure hand-signs which, as Kurenai supplied, were smell-erasing.

"She's keeping the smell directed towards herself only!" Kurenai yelled with shock.

But there was no time left to analyze or comment, for everything was happening all at once.

"Naruto!" Sakura hissed, gripping his shoulders and drilling her stare straight into his eyes. "Can you make it with Tazuna across the sea? Avoid the beach – footprints – and _don't_ return to the house."

Naruto's eyes were wide with bewilderment and worry. But before he could say that no, it was _not_ alright! And, Sakura get back _here_ , let _me_ take care of this; Sakura had already thrown a kunai with an explosive tag at Zabuza, detonating it right in his face, followed by a smokescreen just as she shoved both Naruto and Tazuna off the bridge.

 **TWISTED**

As Naruto fell, it suddenly downed on him that Sakura was up _there_ , _alone_ with _**Zabuza**_ , and that Naruto was down _here_ , with their charge, and, and, and–

Naruto screamed Sakura's name over the crashing sound of the waves, but it made no sound, only gurgling for he was suddenly underwater.

He emerged, but the waves threatened to swallow him again and his breath was coming back in shallow gasps.

He felt terror. All Naruto could thing about was that his teammate needed help urgently and that she was done for and that he had to get back up there no matter what, on that bridge, but _couldn't_ –

"Sakura-chan!" He was crying up a sea out of frustration and fear. "Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!" His voice was hoarse. It cracked.

"Calm – down!" Tazuna had trouble speaking over the sound of the waves and the sea, but his sputter still reached Naruto through his panic-hazed fog. "We need to – _get out of here!_ "

"NO! I have to get back to her!" Naruto yelled, trying to swim towards a pillar.

It was hard. The sea was rebelling against them and no one had ever bothered to teach Naruto how to swim properly, because he had no parents, he was an _orphanorphanorphan_ –don't think about it– and at the academy he'd been too scared to admit he couldn't swim and now… now he just…!

By some kind of miracle, Naruto made it to the pillar.

He tried in vain to scamper up the wet columns of the bridge, but it was too wet, there were too many waves and he was too terrified for his chakra control to function properly.

" _Sakura-chan!_ "

Over their heads and the raging of the waves, there were the bleak and unmistakable sounds of fighting. An explosion. Another. This time closer. Then – a shower of debris fell upon them.

Tazuna hissed. "Looks like girly's duking it out up there. Kid – we need to _leave_. As sorry as I am for your teammate–"

"Shut up, old man!"

"As sorry as I am for Sakura, her sacrifice will mean _nothing_ if we don't leave!"

Naruto frowned, hiccuped, then bit his cheek until he drew blood.

"Didn't you say, kid–" Tazuna shouted over the raging waves, as he struggled to hold onto the pillar. "Didn't you _bow_ to become hokage?" he yelled. "Hokage need to make sacrifices sometimes! Naruto, we need to leave now! I know it hurts, but fucking hell, you must to get yourself together!"

Naruto made no reply. Instead, he made a clone.

"Watch out for Sakura-chan," he told it somberly. Then he made another clone. To this one, he ordered: "Go find Kakashi-sensei. Get help!"

The second clone swam off.

"So – what now?" asked Tazuna, looking relieved.

"I have to keep you safe," Naruto whispered. "Get you to the shore. Let's go."

They began swimming, Naruto with some difficulties.

"In that case…" Tazuna ventured as they went, "Can we go to my house?"

Naruto frowned. "Sakura said not to go there."

"I know! But we must! My daughter and grandson might be in danger! They need your help! Otherwise, they'll be sitting ducks!"

Instantly, a resolute look took over Naruto's features. "Then let's go save them."

After that, the memories split into three. First came the memory of the main Naruto, who rushed to Tazuna's home with the bridge-builder himself in tow.

When they got there, they were met by chaos and a scene of lucky despair.

Tsunami was crying on the floor, hugging Inari. Two dangerous looking men were sprawled on the floor also, their hair and skin charred.

"They… they took the painting of Kaiza off the wall…" Tsunami sniffed. "He was my husband, you know, this country's hero… They took the picture and shattered it, and kami made them pay dearly for that! Yes he did! Kaiza's photograph exploded, and now they're like that." She gestured vaguely towards the charred men.

Naruto pulled out a bunch of ropes. "Tie them up!" He called over his shoulders.

By the point anyone began to process his words, he was running towards the bridge again.

Just then, the memories of his other clone – the one who'd stayed behind with Sakura – came back to him.

Naruto had tried to climb the bridge, again and again and again to get to Sakura. But he hadn't managed it.

Trough a new crack in the foundation, caused by one of Zabuza's failed murder attempts, Naruto had been forced to witness his teammate fighting to stay alive.

"I – Sakura–" Ino was sobbing.

"She's… she's holding up," Asuma said with muted disbelief.

" _C'mon_ Sakura," Shikamaru encouraged.

"How…" Choji whispered with awe.

Even though, technically, the fight had already happened, they were all rooting for Sakura feverishly.

Naruto was frantically trying to claw his way up to Sakura desperately, heedless of the tearing in his own nails. But the more he panicked, the less his chakra would cooperate and the more he slipped on the wet pillars, or crashed against the wet stone by the impact of the furious waves.

And then it happened.

Sakura managed to one-up Zabuza by liberating him of his weapon of choice, his killing sword, ("Amazing, Forehand!") but next second, Zabuza had grabbed her by the edge of her dress.

Her victory paled in the face of the very real chance that Sakura would die in the next instant.

And, true to their worst fears, with every inch of muscle in his body, Zabuza _slammed_ Sakura into the nearest column.

Kurenai's breath hitched. Ino began to sob uncontrollably into her hands, and Choji looked away.

But the others, a grim faced Shikamaru and Asuma, and a terrified ( _empty-faced_ ) Naruto, and a horrified Kurenai, they all _**saw**_.

The force behind the throw was so strong that the wall cracked, and little bits fell out. The column even swayed precariously, just as Sakura's eyes glazed with a terrible finality, and Zabuza began shaking the irresponsible girl and yelling and yelling and yelling about his sword, and his power, and Sakura's impertinence.

Naruto watched with horror-filled desperation as Sakura slowly bled out; so close yet so unreachable.

"How… how did her head survive that collision?" Kurenai muttered softly.

"I don't know," Asuma replied just as quietly. Frankly, he added: "By all rights, he should have bashed her head in. Could it be… chakra coating?"

Kurenai wanted to cry. "It seems Kakashi was spot on after all, teaching her how to parry blows with chakra, even though it's such an advanced skill."

"And to think just a day ago we believed him paranoid…" mumbled Asuma.

They watched with baited breaths what looked to be Sakura's last moments… until Kakashi himself came rushing in.

And then they all realized… from the second Kakashi Hatake laid eyes on his fallen student, that Zabuza didn't stand a chance in hell.

Kakashi's fury was molten ice and the frigid flames of hell all at once. He did away with Zabuza so absolutely ruthlessly and efficiently, that Choji would later swear he'd lost his appetite for two days.

Suffice it to say that Zabuza died a painful dead by electrocution and subsequent drowning when he later fell (was tossed) into the unforgiving sea, his hands and feet tied up.

To add insult to injury, Zabuza's descent into a grave under the waves happened right next to where Naruto was clutching onto a pillar. Naruto himself managed to unintentionally vomit all over the spot Zabuza had fallen in.

"Come," said Kakashi, spotting his wayward student. Next second, he'd hauled Naruto over the edge of the bridge. Then Kakashi scooped Sakura up, who effectively bled all over his jacket. While she was bleeding out, Naruto dry heaved all over again, but his stomach was already empty.

However, there was no time for horror or guilt or even puking.

At a gesture of Kakashi's, they both rushed back towards promises of land, firmly set on getting Sakura first aid.

"We need to give her stitches!" Kakashi yelled.

But their luck was dismal, for just then, the duo was intercepted by Haku. Haku was not only Zabuza's ally, but also a formidable adversary. Too formidable, it seemed.

"Shit!" Kakashi spat out. "Where's Sasuke!"

Sasuke had remained behind to fight Haku, alongside the real Naruto. So if Haku was here…

…where were they?

Naruto cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled in a panicky voice: "Sasuke! Where are you? _Sasuke_! Answer me, dammit!" His voice broke. He couldn't lose Sasuke as well! _No!_

"SASUKE!"

Then, suddenly, Naruto spotted him: Sasuke's prone form lay on the ground a ways off, next to Naruto's battered looking figure – the real Naruto this time – who looked close to having a breakdown.

Sasuke on his part looked close to becoming a human pincushion, with needles sticking out of his skin. They jutted out everywhere.

It would have been funny if it weren't so damn terrifying.

"Naruto," Kakashi said firmly. His voice was sharp, and that grounding sharpness was the only thing that jerked Naruto back into action. "You need to face down Haku for me."

Naruto stepped forward to do just that, no questions asked. The real Naruto joined him as well, though his foot was sprained heavily.

"Naruto! No, you." Kakashi called. "I'll need your help with the stitching. Other Naruto, try to buy us as much time as you can."

And so, two very fierce battles started at the very same time.

One unfolded trough a fog of pain and determination, as a severely bruised and battered Naruto gave his absolute _everything_ just to buy a second's worth of time for his teammates, as Kakashi fought to keep Sakura alive.

"This is going to hurt her a lot," Kakashi said, his voice devoid of anything. "Naruto, I need you to hold Sakura down."

And Naruto did. Kakashi didn't waste any more precious seconds. He produced a ninja wire, which was completely unsuited for medical treatment, and unstuck one of Haku's senbon our of Sasuke's clavicle, which he proceeded to employ inorder to stitch up Sakura's head injury right then and there.

And Sakura screamed. She screamed and thrashed and it hurt so much just to witness it, and Kakashi said that he'd like to put her to sleep with his sharingan but couldn't, because if Sakura passed out now she might die–

–and Naruto was a sniveling and sniffling mess.

After an eternity's worth of suffering, the healing was done.

"Make sure she stays awake," ordered Kakashi, to which Naruto nodded like an empty husk, and then Kakashi jumped into the fray. He was right on time to help save the real Naruto from a broken elbow.

Naruto talked to Sakura's unresponsive form.

He told her all the bad jokes she always yelled to him about. He begged her to hang on, said that she couldn't fall asleep. He didn't remember what else he said, or for how long he sat there, next to his deadly pale teammate.

Only that, after what could have been an eternity or an instant, the inhabitants of Wave Country came with weapons and the resolution to fight for their country. They weren't ninja, but still they joined into the fray, guided by a determined Tazuna, Tsunami and Inari.

Thankfully, after that, someone carried Sakura and Sasuke off to safety.

By the end of it all, the main source of the conflict, Gatō, showed up, and was promptly murdered by a well aimed shuriken.

(Kakashi wasn't taking any chances.)

By that point, Naruto finally passed out into blissful oblivion.

No one, not Asuma, not Ino, _no one_ , said anything.

 **TWISTED**

When Naruto later woke up in the darkness of a dusty room, Sasuke was right there, next to him. Sakura was on his other side, asleep. Or dead?

 _Nononono–_

"Naruto, calm down!" Sasuke hissed. "She's fine." Sasuke paused for a moment. "Kakashi put her to sleep, earlier with his sharingan."

"She– she was awake?"

Sasuke flinched imperceptibly. Naruto still caught it. "Not lucid, if that's what you mean. She was screaming a lot. Let's hope she won't remember any of it."

"She won't," said Kakashi forcefully, who had appeared in the doorway. "I've made sure of it."

In that moment, Sakura sat up in the cot with a gasp. Her eyes were glazed and unseeing and she was gasping, making frantically heaving and choking sounds.

"Shit!"

"Sakura-chan!"

"Get help!"

Kakashi looked panicked, his fingers twitching as though he didn't know where to put them.

"Her heart rate!" Sasuke yelled incoherently.

Kakashi took her pulse. "Fuck! She's going into cardiac arrest!"

By that point, Tazuna, Inari and Tsunami had all gotten there too, hovering at the entrance of the room with looks of distress.

And then came a moment Naruto would never ever forget: wanting to see for himself, he'd pressed his trembling fingers to Sakura's neck… but there was nothing. Just cold, empty skin.

 _"Sensei… her heart's… **stopped**!"_

"No–"

"Sakura!"

" _NO!_ "

Shaking, praying, trembling; the next moments were a blur. Nothing anyone did seemed to will his teammate back to life. And that was just it. Naruto couldn't believe it–

That Sakura-chan could possibly be–

Not alive.

 _Dead._

 _Dead._

 _Dead._

And that's when–

" ** _Chidori!_** " Kakashi pressed his palms over Sakura's heart, and Naruto _saw_ the electrical current –

–and then Sakura _jolted_ and Kakashi was pressing down over her heart rhythmically, and someone somewhere was sobbing–

-and with a deep, shuddering gasp, Sakura came back.

Naruto wouldn't ever forget the overwhelming relief intermingled with lingering terror, helplessness and gratefulness he felt right then.

But it was not yet over.

The next few days passed in the dragging, horrifying agony of keeping watch at all hours next to Sakura's bed, constantly checking her pulse and her breathing, constantly worrying and fearing sleep as well as wakefulness; fearing, fearing, always fearing.

Because the lack of a tangible threat only made it worse.

In the course of the following week, Sakura had two more close calls and gave her teammates more than a handful of collective scares. Also: eye bags.

And then, finally, her condition stabilized. With great care, Tsunami placed Sakura in a room by herself, changed the covers and bathed her. The only thing that remained was for her to wake up.

Now the atmosphere in the house was visibly lighter, almost festive, and so Tsunami made a stew to celebrate the special occasion.

It was finally _over_.

That evening, as they all ate the stew, Tazuna said: "You know, I've been thinking… we could name the bridge after her, maybe."

They all knew who was meant.

Tsunami nodded enthusiastically at the suggestion. "That's a good idea! It's symbolic! Let's see… Sakura-chan sacrificed herself so you could be safe, dad. And not just that! Her name… the ephemeral cherry blossoms that bloom in spring. It speaks of new beginnings. It speaks of hope, of optimism: from here on, we should look ahead into a new future, and try to forget the darkness which lurks in the shadows of this country's past. And it's not just that. Sakura's recovery from such a grievous injury was near-miraculous in nature, and so we should follow her in namesake as well as in achievements and work towards a speedy recovery of our lands and economy. I… I really like that name, don't you think? Maybe we could plant cherry blossoms alongside the bridge?"

The members of team seven looked surprisingly uncomfortable.

"Tsunami-chan," said Kakashi tacitly. "We really appreciate the courtesy, we do… but we were thinking… maybe not tell Sakura the more… gory details, ne? Don't you agree, you too?"

Naruto and Sasuke nodded mutely.

"I think it will be a shock for her as it is," said Kakashi. "She doesn't need to know that she's technically been dead." _That we all thought her gone,_ went unsaid. "And boys…" here Kakashi fixed both Naruto and Sasuke with a stern stare, "I shouldn't even be saying this, but considering how tactless you can be, I will. _Don't_ comment on Sakura's scar, even as a joke. Are we clear?" He gave Naruto an especially probing stare, to which the blonde nodded furiously.

Tazuna smiled a little. "So? Shall we tell her about the name of the bridge?"

"Maybe not today," said Kakashi. "But you can plant the sakura trees, and one day, when she comes back, she'll know."


	42. Secrets

**Yes! I managed to update! This has been the longest chapter yet.**

 **Before we start, I wanted to clear something up that has been mentioned in the comments:**

 **Mebuki Haruno is a ninja.**

 **Yes. Believe it or not, she is. Say whatever you want, this is canon.**

 **If you don't believe me, here's an excerpt of the Naruto wiki:**

 **"Haruno Mebuki (春野メブキ) is a kunoichi of Konohagakure. She is also a member of the Allied Mother Force."**

 **Pay close attention, because this chapter includes some new truths and revelations!**

 **Here we go…**

"No pain, no gain, Sakura darling!"

"But – Mom! –" Sakura yelped agitatedly. She could've spared herself the trouble, for Mebuki knocked her back to the ground on her bum mercilessly.

Sakura's mother was in fact a quite ruthless teacher when she wanted to be. She'd effectively managed to beat Sakura time and time again, even though Sakura had thought she'd improved… but apparently not _that_ much.

After what felt like hours of sparing, Mebuki stopped.

"Alright, dear. Let's take a break."

Sakura sighed, relieved.

"Thank Kaguya." She plopped down on the ground wearily, shrugging off the front part of her armor. She was beyond tired.

"So…" Mebuki mirrored her. "You really want to win this thing, huh?"

"Yeah. It's really important." Sakura fidgeted, deliberating whether to ask something that had been on her mind lately. Finally, she decided to give it a go. "How is it that you've got so much endurance when I never see you train?"

Mebuki paused. "I do train, you know. In the mornings."

Sakura nodded cautiously. It actually made sense… she was usually at the academy or during missions at that time.

"How come you never tried for jonin, anyways?" Sakura asked.

"I'm fine as I am," said Mebuki fervently. Sakura was surprised by her vigor. "You have to understand, Sakura, that I mustn't get promoted! There's only death and – and unwanted attention waiting ahead. Making chunin already feels like pushing it."

Sakura nodded slowly. She did understand. She shared the same ardent wish to stay alive, will of fire or no.

"I don't really want to be promoted either," she felt the need to explain. "I just… need to…" could she mention Gaara? Sakura felt Mebuki might freak out, so instead she said: "I've got to prove myself."

Mebuki sighed. "I understand." There was a bout of silence. "You're not doing bad, you know?"

Sakura gasped. "I… you mean it?"

"Yes," said Mebuki honestly. "Your… physical prowess has skyrocketed. It's just… you need to polish your technique and delivery, I think."

'Technique and delivery. I can do that,' Sakura thought.

"Sparring as I am now won't help me improve in the technique department…" Sakura said hesitantly. "Guy said I need to try and incorporate more moves into my fighting style…"

"You know more moves?" asked Mebuki, surprised.

"Yeah. Besides for the academy forms, Guy taught me a pretty complete movement sequence. I could use that as reference to learn new moves and combinations."

"Yes, that might work," Mebuki murmured. "Though perhaps you should practice the moves separately also."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, but that still leaves out the delivery thing…"

"No, Sakura. We've been working on your delivery all morning," Mebuki said. "You must learn to polish punches and kicks themselves. Your attacks."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You must improve the speed and strength, aim and efficiency, behind every single one of your attacks. You must learn how to block, Sakura; you have an awful tendency to forgo blocking."

"I do not!"

"Yes, you do. You follow an 'endure and hit back' kind of policy. Being able to take a blow is good, Sakura, but you have to learn how to block properly."

"And how do I do that?"

"Practice, darling. I'll tell you what: for as long as I'm here, we can work on your delivery. When I take my leave, you can rest a bit and then practice moves and forms separately.

"Sounds good," Sakura said softly. In truth, she was quivering in anticipatory effort. So far, she'd been having trouble just struggling to stay alive. And now she was supposed to incorporate a thorough training regime? Sakura felt dizzy just by thinking of it. And worse even, would her mom leave her alone again?

Sakura could admit that she'd meant to do this on her own… but now that the warmth of another's presence was back, she didn't want to relinquish it.

 **TWISTED**

Sasuke had a problem. This problem had taken the shape of a white-haired pervert who refused to spar with him, and had actually had the gall to look down his large nose at Sasuke.

But Sasuke wasn't taking no for an answer… and technically, that hadn't been the pervert's reply either. Bushman had dared Sasuke to get him to jump off a cliff. Admittedly, it was nigh impossible that the man would choose to do so any time soon, but Sasuke held hope.

In fact, he'd already tried to make the pervert jump. Multiple times. (Off small precipices, of course; it wouldn't do if Bushman kicked the bucket before they could spar.) However, Sasuke's concern proved to be needless, for the pervert had managed to scamper off each and every time.

Sasuke was thus rendered a continuously irritated mess. But he was still too stubborn to give up.

He'd already tried to be logical about the whole thing. He'd tried to use reason to coerce the man, as well as threats, flattery (which was delivered very grudgingly), and finally, straight out tried to pay the pervert. When none of these solutions had proven effective, Sasuke had tried to look at the whole thing from a different angle, as Iruka had used to preach back at the academy. Thinking of the academy had reminded him of Sakura's ability to ace most such (usually worthless) tests on what-if case scenarios. And indeed, Sasuke wondered whether his female teammate would have been able to convince the pervert?

Before, the thought would've gone straight out of the window, especially because Sasuke was positive Sakura wouldn't have wanted to convince a pervert to spar with her in the first place.

After seeing her openly challenge Kakashi by snatching away and consecutively mauling his pornographic novel, Sasuke had been forced to reconsider that. Perhaps, if she really set her mind to it, Sakura would have been able to trick Bushman?

Sasuke disliked the possibility that she could succeed at something that he, Uchiha Sasuke, rookie of the year, could not. Sakura had never been outstanding as a ninja, mainly because she never had the muscle and ability to back up her strategies. The plans she'd thought out back in the Academy were most often than not outrageous in their deliberate complexity, and were overall, in Sasuke's opinion, much too far fetched. It was clear back then that Sakura had been all bite and no bark. Sasuke especially didn't like her strategies because it was obvious that the added difficulty was purposeful; an instrumental ploy in Sakura's self-sufficient bragging.

Now, Sasuke realized that a re-evaluation of his teammate was long due.

The Sakura with pompous plans, needless inconveniences and a healthy dose of pedantic egoism was gone.

He couldn't say exactly when she'd disappeared – with a jolt, he realized that she no longer even called him Sasuke-kun? When had that happened? – but one thing was painfully obvious: the girl she'd become probably wouldn't shy away from an obstacle such as Bushman.

Out of all the members of team seven (bar Kakashi) Sasuke was forced to admit that Sakura was probably the closest to him in terms of intelligence.

He was reticent to depend on anyone for anything, but losing against Bushman would grate even more than asking Sakura for a favor.

So this is how, against all predictions, Uchiha Sasuke found himself on Sakura's doorstep.

 **TWISTED**

"We want to get serious, Asuma-sensei." Team ten had cornered their teacher after training, Ino at the forefront of it all. "We don't want some wishy-washy strategy Shikamaru comes up with to be the only thing helping us out in the open. No offense, Shikamaru."

"None taken," replied Shikamaru. "I'm with Ino on this one," he looked Asuma straight into the eye, as Choji nodded along sagely. "Even if it's a drag, we want to have some real training under our belts. Slacking off is great and all, but I'd rather do it on a clear conscience."

Naruto and Asuma were both looking on in shock; neither had seen this coming. Naruto especially, felt relief and something akin to gratefulness welling up in his belly. He and the others hadn't discussed The memory at all, almost pretending it hadn't happened, and Naruto had been equal parts put off and glad for that. Personally, he didn't want to talk about it at all, but at the same time, he was worried Shikamaru and the others weren't taking it seriously enough.

Now those worries had been put to rest. A fundamental change seemed to have occurred. Team Ten was no longer a group of slackers – they were dead set on improving, and doing it fast.

He returned to reality when Asuma gathered his bearings.

"So let me be clear…" concluded Asuma. "You want to further develop your ninja skill set. Is that it?"

"Yes," said the three.

"Well, there are lots of things we could work on still. Did you have anything in mind?"

Ino, Shikamaru and Choji traded indecisive looks.

"Maybe brush up on the basics…?" suggested Ino. "If Forehead's taught me anything, it would be that I need to improve at sparring."

"Yeah… hand to hand combat is our team's greatest weak point," Shikamaru uttered.

"Hence why you are meant to become an infiltration squad," Asuma said. "You're not like team seven – not an assault team."

"Yeah, so?" replied Ino flippantly. "If our intelligence gathering doesn't work out, we might need combat to defend our lives."

Asuma should have seen this coming. "Alright," he said. "Still, our main asset is strategy. We won't forgo it – we'll use our brains to decide on which skills you should focus on."

"Sounds cool!" Naruto yelled, speaking up for the first time.

"Before we do anything else, let's check out your chakra nature," Asuma said pensively. "I think I had some chakra paper around here…"

A minute later, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji and Naruto were clasping a thin sheet of frail-looking paper. Following Asuma's instructions, they all channeled chakra into it. Naruto's paper split cleanly into tatters, while all the others ended up with a crumbled pile of dust in their cupped hands.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" Naruto asked nervously, glancing between the differing results.

"No, you moron! You're the one with the long end of the stick!" exclaimed Ino. "Do you even know what these results mean?"

"Um… no."

Ino jabbed a finger into his chest. "You, mister, have wind chakra nature. That's really rare and awesome. The lot of us," she gestured towards her teammates, "have run of the mill earth nature chakra."

"Now, now. Don't be self-deprecating, Ino," scolded Asuma. "Earth nature chakra is underrated; many elite ninja go through great pains to master a few earth nature jutsu."

"He's right, you know," Shikamaru added placatingly. "You can do a bunch of useful things with it, such as diving underneath of the earth, creating earthquakes, forming protective domes, or otherwise changing the battleground to your benefit. An enemy with earth nature is troublesome, because they can attack, defend and strategize all at once."

There was a beat of silence.

"Wow. You've really thought this through, bud," Choji said with wide eyes.

"Yeah!" Ino looked at him suspiciously. "Where's all this interest coming from, Shikamaru? You sound suspiciously like you've been thinking about mastering earth jutsu."

Shikamaru rubbed his temples. "Gimme a break here. It would be cool to have that kind of asset, true, but let's be real: I'm a wimp in terms of chakra stores."

Naruto laughed, hanging off Shikamaru's back like a monkey and cackling.

"Hahah… we all know you're like an old man, rather than a kiddy wimp! But I guess you don't know if you can master it unless you try, huh?"

"Believe me, Naruto, sometimes you _can_ know," Shikamaru deadpanned.

"Guh! Shikamaru, I'm tired of your defeatist ways!" Ino exclaimed petulantly, turning towards the others. "Listen, I don't need to be a genius like Shikamaru to know that there's no way we can learn earth or wind jutsu in two weeks and a bit, so yeah, I have a better idea! Who wants to hear it?"

"I do! I do! I _do_!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

Ino smiled, standing proud and hopeful, looking every bit the people-charmer that she was. "We're getting ourselves some weapons to kick ass!"

"Eh…?" Naruto looked thrown for a loop. "But we already have weapons, Ino-snob! There's kunai, and shuriken, and, and…!"

"We get the point, Naruto," said Shikamaru. "But those aren't the ones Ino means, are they?" He looked at the blonde intently. "That's the troublesome thing: we, like most average ninja, know how to fight with and against kunai… and that's why a new, rarer weapon can be extremely dangerous or extremely useful depending on what side of the blade you are." He looked briefly stricken by an idea. "Specially if it's a long range weapon. That'd be just the thing for us. Was that your angle, Ino?"

"Yeah!" The blonde chirped. "I couldn't have worded it better. Though I do also want a close range combat weapon for myself. If I'd had one in a situation like when I went up against Sakura, things would've been very different."

Asuma took that instant to chime in. "If it's unfamiliar weapons you seek, I know just the place. It's actually close by."

"Great!" Ino exclaimed. "Then let's go, shall we?"

They got up from where they'd been eating barbaque, and Asuma swiftly paid. Once out of the restaurant, he set course en route to somewhere downtown.

"See, I was thinking we could go to a workshop which has a lot of weapons that samurai like to use," Asuma explained. "The owner's from the land of iron, you know?"

Ino was nodding along sagely, with Naruto trying to coax Choji to share his excitement.

Just as they'd almost gotten to the shop, Naruto yelled:

"Hey, Sasuke! Long time no see!"

Everyone looked where Naruto was staring at, and true enough, Sasuke Uchiha stood at the other end of the street. He had stopped in his tracks, presumably to greet Naruto.

"Hey," Sasuke said.

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino chirped excitedly. "It's been too long!"

Surprisingly, Sasuke took a moment to stare at her. "You're friends with Sakura, right?"

Ino blinked, confused. "Yeah. So?"

"Do you know where she is?"

"In her house?" Ino asked sarcastically. Then, more thoughtfully, she added: "Maybe in her Dad's shop? Why do you even wanna know?" Ino looked at Sasuke suspiciously. "Is Forehead _dating_ you?"

"No. She's gone."

"What do you mean, ' _gone_ '?!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke looked at Naruto blankly. "I just went to her house. Sakura's father said she's been missing for a week."

"A week?!" Ino and Naruto echoed in horror. Ino turned to look at Asuma for advice, though unfortunately he also looked uncomfortable and stricken by the news. Choji had stopped eating chips, though Shikamaru didn't seem unsettled.

"I've been asking around," Sasuke continued, "but no one knows anything. I was trying to track down Kakashi right now."

"Hmm… did you ask Bushy-brow's sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah. He said Sakura's been missing since the day we last met."

"Wait. You mean since the day we snuck into the ANBU archives?!" Naruto yelled, to which team ten collectively gaped.

"You _what_?!" Ino screeched.

She was ignored.

"We have to start a search club!" Naruto yelled. "What if Sakura-chan was kidnapped?!"

"It's called search party, you doofus," interrupted Shikamaru, "and seriously, I think you're blowing this way out of proportion."

"Sakura-chan just went missing!"

"Yeah," said Shikamaru callously. "Probably training somewhere in secret or something equally troublesome." He frowned. "Look, Naruto, do you honestly think Sakura would allow herself to be kidnapped after withstanding everything she has? I mean, what's even the point of kidnapping her? It seems much more likely that she went to some secluded location so no one can spy on her while she's training."

"Um." Naruto seemed to at least have calmed down. "I'm still kinda worried."

Sasuke frowned. "I don't disagree with him," he looked at Shikamaru, "but I'm still going to find Kakashi and ask him. I wouldn't put it past him to know where Sakura is and have kept quiet about it."

Naruto cringed. "Yeah, that sounds just like Sensei! The old man loves pranking people without having to move a finger. If he really has kept quiet, I'll pummel him! Believe it!"

"Alright, calm down, Naruto," Asuma said. "Let's continue about our day for the moment. If you want, you can meet up with Sasuke later and ask him about any new developments."

Naruto frowned. "Fine. But you had better not run off, ya hear me, Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked unnervingly. "We'll see…"

 **TWISTED**

Haruno Mebuki was quite done with her life. Recently, her daughter had disappeared, and now it turned out that she'd voluntarily ran off into a dangerous forest without warning anyone beforehand. Hatake the Berk, as she privately called Sakura's teacher, had apparently known about her daughter's actions and seen it fit not to notify anyone.

Of course, Mebuki had already sent a clone to that horrible forest in search of Sakura (Hatake had told her at the hairdresser where she was after much probing), but its memories hadn't yet come back to her, and Mebuki couldn't decide whether no news was good news. Currently, she was standing before the door of Hatake's apartment. He'd told her where Sakura was, yes, but only because Mebuki had pestered him to death, and now she was going to give Hatake hell for it. She was tired of this man's shenanigans. Revenge tastes sweet, and all that. She'd usurp his house and put the Berk through the wringer.

She rose her hand to knock on Hatake's door, yet the the thing swung open before she could.

"How do you know where I live?" Kakashi questioned by way of greeting, peering at her suspiciously.

Mebuki didn't miss the flare in his chakra. She decided to make things easier for the both of them by saying something an impostor would not know about her: "That's irrelevant, Hatake. Or have you forgotten we met yesterday at the hair salon?"

"Oh, that's right. The hair dresser, Takeda-san, was a little uptight about letting you sit with me, wasn't she?"

Mebuki saw that comment for what it was: Hatake the Berk being excessively paranoid. Apparently he _still_ wasn't satisfied, and needed to make sure for himself that she was the real Mebuki. He'd casually mentioned the hair dresser's name wrong – a glaring difference – because he knew that Mebuki was a regular at Mirrors and that she wasn't the type of person who would refrain from instantly correcting him.

"It's Sayaka," she said. "Sayaka Minamoto, if you still want to be stingy. Now let me inside. I don't want to discuss this out here."

Kakashi was scrutinizing her.

"You realized I was trying to detect possible deception."

"Let's not pretend that, even if I were the enemy and went in there with you, you'd not be more than qualified to off me."

"That's interesting." Kakashi opened the door for her. Gritting her jaw, Mebuki went inside, and heard it close behind her ominously.

Kakashi's flat was surprisingly clean. Really clean. Squeaky clean.

At first glance, Mebuki saw that the living room was adjacent to the dining room, and she could tell that the coffee table was strategically placed by the window so that it could be used to cover it in the event of an attack.

Mebuki had imagined that this place would be covered in filth or littered with perverted magazines, yet it was everything but. The flat didn't exactly look bleak or outright unwelcoming, but there was nothing about it that said 'Kakashi'. No personality. It was not a cozy place by any means.

The walls were beige, there wasn't much furniture – not even book shelves. She could see an adjacent kitchenette but no plates nor cutting utensils. Actually, Mebuki would bet anything that Kakashi stowed any possible weapons (such as butter knives, and surprisingly, glasses?) away under lock and key so that no one could use them against him during a possible altercation.

There was a couch, which had been propped up by a bunch of bricks on its legs so that a human could fit beneath it. Mebuki did not want to know what was underneath. There were tiles in the kitchen that Mebuki could tell probably bore secrets if moved, (or traps?) and wood which looked like it harbored seals and springs painted upon it with invisible ink. In short: Hatake's apartment was the kind of place that constantly reminded you not to let your guard down.

Mebuki tried to ground herself, then proceeded to take a seat on the suspicious couch.

"So… what's surprising?" she prompted. "Surely you didn't think I'd let the matter with my daughter rest?"

"I'm surprised you knew where I live," said Kakashi. "I'm surprised by many things about you, Haruno Mebuki."

"Not surprised… _suspicious_ ," Mebuki corrected. "Isn't that right?"

"Well, yeah," admitted Kakashi lightly. "I took the liberty to borrow your records–"

"So you _are_ in ANBU!" Mebuki exclaimed agitatedly. "I knew it! I _knew_ you can't be trusted with children–!"

"You misunderstand," said Kakashi. "I snuck in at my own risk and took your file."

"What? You'd… put it all on the line? Why me? Why the interest?" Mebuki was looking very shaken.

Kakashi grinned. "Oh, there was no risk, not truly. Let's just say that I had a good pretext to sneak in. Under any other circumstances, I might be in trouble… but well. What can I say? I can be creative."

Mebuki was gritting her teeth. "Listen, Hatake. I didn't come here to talk about your paranoia issues–"

"Oh, I wouldn't call it paranoia. Just hypervigilance. There's a difference, mind you."

"I don't care whether there's a difference–!"

" _Haruno Mebuki_ ," Kakashi interrupted, and this time, his voice sounded dark and dangerous. His chakra now charged the air, his presence ominous like a rolling thunder. "I know you have _secrets_ ," Kakashi intoned with finality. "And my instincts are never wrong. If it weren't because of the critical situation we're in, I'd be on your case right about now." His words heralded a promise of doom.

Mebuki, meanwhile, was shaking. "They're… they're none of your business. My secrets."

"Anything that can hurt Konoha by proxy… or my precious student… _is_ my business."

And that was the final straw.

"Oh, don't you dare!" Mebuki had jumped off the couch with a jolt, and snarled right into Kakashi's face. "I'm a ninja of the leaf and I'll never hurt it! And most of all: I am Sakura's mother, and I'll protect her with my life! And if keeping secrets is the way to do it, then so be it!" Mebuki was panting now, screaming, inches of Kakashi's masked face. "And don't you dare pretend you care about your 'precious students', as you call them, Hatake, because I've seen you, and I know your type! You only care about making my daughter into one more of those mindless soldiers! You only want to hone her as a weapon! You won't choose what's right for her, only what will make her sharper and deadlier and easier to wield!"

Kakashi was staring at her still, though his eyes had gone wide.

Mebuki was panting and looked very shaken.

"Alright… calm… down… Mebuki…" Kakashi said very slowly, as though not to wake a sleeping dragon. "I am trying to do my best to make my students deadly, because that is what they will need to be in order to survive. I'm teaching them what I know, I'm not trying to mind-control them or anything. Uh… though sometimes I do think it would make things easier," he added on second thought.

"And haven't you thought, not even once, that maybe Sakura should _quit_?" Mebuki asked acerbically.

Kakashi's eyes gave away his surprise.

"So, no," concluded Mebuki. She sighed. "Why am I even surprised? As you said, you're teaching them what you know. You don't even know anything else, do you? Anything other than bloodshed and war."

Kakashi, reeling, shook his head.

'Thought so' went unsaid. Mebuki sighed, and retreated back into the couch. The next few minutes passed in silence, though neither party cared.

Finally, once again put together, Kakashi said: "I'm assuming your secret ties in with why you want Sakura to quit?"

Mebuki was looking pensively out of the window. Her expression was melancholic and reserved, and Kakashi was surprised to see it. The few times he'd met Mebuki, she'd been all motherly ire and fiery temperament; he wasn't used to this sensible side.

"I'm sorry for blowing up on you," Mebuki muttered morosely, still staring outside. Kakashi immediately knew that she was using the apology as an evasion tactic, but he didn't think it was dishonest. He didn't think _she_ was dishonest, and to be honest with himself, he didn't want to pry.

"Well," he said wryly, "I expect I also owe you an apology. Next time you have concerns about Sakura, let's try to talk about it in a civil way, ne? I promise I'll listen."

"Sure you will," said Mebuki skeptically, and for a moment, she made the exact same expression Sakura did when she was at the receiving end of one of his barbs.

Kakashi had the sudden urge to flee.

"Ja, I'm off." Without preamble, he jumped out of the very window Mebuki was staring trough (a fourth story) and disappeared behind the rooftops gleaming with midday sun.

He was running from his home out of the window, Kakashi surmised dryly. Way to go.

Normally, he was more cautious than this. He'd just left his apartment at the mercy of a ninja with many unknowns in the equation… But his instincts were rarely wrong after all, and they didn't mistrust Mebuki. Not anymore, anyway.

Still, as she'd kindly pointed out, he did have issues: he liked to call it hypervigilance, though he suspected it might be a medical condition or disorder. OCD, Inoichi had once tried to insist. Well, Kakashi wasn't keen on anyone knowing. Later, he'd check whether Mebuki had touched anything. Later. Now he needed air.

 **TWISTED**

While Kakashi and Mebuki had a very loud tête-à-tête in a (thankfully) sound-proofed apartment, team ten was having an equally loud scuffle with the clerk of the weapons shop Asuma had taken them to.

"Gosh! I am _so_ fed up with this guy!" Ino whispered as the clerk stalked away. They'd been at the shop for nearly half an hour, and it had not been a nice stay.

"Can we go?" Naruto wined. "I wanna leave this place and look for Sakura-chan!"

"Do you all know which weapons you want?" Asuma interrupted. "Remember to choose smart, not easy."

"Of course I do! Believe it!" Naruto proudly swung around two nunchakus. Still, he was a klutz by nature and managed to hit his own head with the nunchaku, though Asuma could immediately tell that this was a great weapon for Naruto. The nunchakus were basically three wooden sticks tied together trough a metallic joint, which basically allowed to swing them around like a windmill. They could be used in close combat or midrange, and were especially well suited for Naruto given his wind chakra nature and energetic demeanor. Asuma though that even the design fit the blonde – the polished wood was almost orange in color, though it had a green dragon painted upon it.

After close examination, Asuma gave an approving nod.

"I see you're staring to think on your feet, Naruto. Well done."

Naruto grinned. "Nah, I just picked them cuz' they're cool, ya know? Sorta called to me."

Asuma sighed. Or maybe not. Oh well.

He turned to the other blonde. "What have you, Ino?" he asked quizzically.

Ino grinned at him. "Remember I said I wanted something for long range and something that could give me an edge for close combat?"

Asuma nodded.

"Well, for long range, I've got this!"

She proudly pointed to something behind her and Asuma's mouth fell slack. It was a tradicional Japanese bow, or in other words, a yumi. The weapon was exceptionally tall, standing over one and a half meters, though Asuma knew that this was right, for they were meant to surpass the height of the archer. As Ino was not yet as tall as an adult, she couldn't use a true bow, which typically went over two meters. The yumi was green, made by laminating of bamboo, wood and leather, the latter of which, as Ino proudly announced, she'd die an indigo color.

Asuma was a little bit skeptic about Ino's choice of weapon.

"A bow? Really, Ino? Ninja need mobility, you know. How are you going to get around with that on your back?"

Ino smirked. "Already thought about that, Sensei. I know that there are sealing tags, and even sealing tattoos. I've been thinking to start by sealing the yumi into a tag, and if it really becomes my choice weapon, maybe go with it as a tattoo. That way I can switch during missions between running and having it out at a moment's notice."

Asuma nodded, impressed. "I see you've given this a lot of thought. Archers are unheard of amongst ninja, though I know those arrows are deadly and far-reaching." He nodded to himself, liking Ino's idea more and more. "It seems perfect… though the only downside is that you won't have anyone to teach you."

"I know…" Ino shrugged. "I'll just have to figure it out."

"What about short range weapons?" Asuma questioned.

Grinning delightedly, Ino showed him two daggers with a curved blade, though still razor-sharp and positively deadly.

"These are not your usual blade, and I'm sure I could use their shape to be at an advantage against normal kunai," Ino explained. "They're not too big, which makes them easier to wield… and, as a bonus, they can be thrown."

"What?" Asuma uttered. He honestly had to admit that he too was a stranger to these unusual kinds of weapons.

"Yeah!" Ino exclaimed. "They're built like a… like a…"

"Boomerang?"

"Yes! Of sorts. Learning to use _these_ will be harder if I don't want to cut myself, but I figure I could probably add a chakra layer to dull the blade while I practice, right?"

"Yes," said Asuma. "In fact, you _must_."

Ino nodded proudly.

"With these babies, I'm gonna be invincible!"

Choji, by contrast, looked indecisive next to Ino.

"And here I am, with no idea of what I even want," he said miserably, stowing away an empty bag of chips.

"Hey, don't worry, son," Asuma said emphatically. He ruffled Choji's head and peered at the weapons his student had been looking at – swords.

Asuma frowned. "Nah, I don't think you should use a sword, unless you really want to."

"No? Then what?" Choji asked.

Asuma lit a cigarette. He needed to think.

"Hmmm… I think… I think we must take advantage of your size."

Choji looked lost. "Uh… so no weapon? Hand to hand combat?"

"No," said Asuma. "That's not what I meant. You have to use a weapon that only you can use. Something only someone very strong and tall can wield, something that plays along nicely with what your teammates might need."

"But my role in team ten is to distract the opponent while Shikamaru casts his shadow possession jutsu…" Choji frowned. "Or if we're being attacked, keep the enemies at bay… um. Sensei?"

Asuma was staring very intently at something in display. Choji looked also, wondering what it was.

"That's a kusarigama," Asuma explained. "It consists basically of a kama (the Japanese equivalent of a sickle) on a kusari-fundo – a type of metal chain (kusari) with a heavy iron weight (fundo) at the end."

Choji could see all that, but he had his doubts. "What does it do?"

"It can be used for precisely what you've just described," Asuma said placidly. He was practically radiating satisfaction. He'd found the ideal weapon for his pupil! "You see, attacking with the kusarigama usually entailes swinging the weighted chain in a large circle over your head, and then whipping it forward to entangle an opponent's sword, or better yet, immobilizing him. This allows the kusarigama user to easily rush forward and strike with the sickle on its end.

"Alternatively, if things get ugly, you can also strike with the spinning weighted end of the chain directly while still outside the range of an opponent's hand weapon."

Choji looked at the kusarigama with new eyes. "That does sound pretty useful," he admitted. "Specially because I hate to get up close and personal with anyone."

Asuma chuckled. "I'm glad we agree on that one." He turned to his last student, the one who usually gave him the most trouble.

"So, Shikamaru, what's it going to be?"

Admittedly, Asuma expected to find his smartest student brimming with tactics and ideas to incorporate any given weapon into his fighting-style… but was severely disappointed.

New-found motivation or not, Shikamaru still looked completely lost.

He was holding a few things in his hand, but Asuma could tell that his heart was not in it.

"May I?" he asked.

"Sure, go ahead and knock yourself out," Shikamaru said sardonically, handing Asuma what he'd picked out.

Amongst other things, Asuma could see a few tetsubishi, which were basically the Japanese version of a caltrop. They stood out to him because they were basically useless to ninja.

"Why would you want these?"

Shikamaru frowned. "It's a drag, but if someone's chasing me, I can jump or something, and toss these little metal spikes wherever I land, so that whoever lands after me gets cold feet. Literally."

Asuma snorted.

"If they see you toss tetsubishi to the ground, they can just channel more chakra into their jump in order to land further ahead and didge, no?

Shikamaru smirked. "I can work with that."

And Asuma smirked back, because of course he could. He should've expected nothing less of his student.

Handing the tetsubishi back to Shikamaru, Asuma began to inspect the remaining two weapons.

He could see a pair of shukos, which were basically metal claws that could be attached to the hands. They could be used to climb walls (though with chakra, there wasn't much of a point), but also to block katanas and other dangerous weapons. By Shikamaru's choices so far, Asuma got the idea that Shikamaru was focusing more on surviving any possible altercations and not so much on coming out the victor.

He frowned.

"Aren't these oddly specific? There aren't many ninja outside of ANBU who use katana swords… why would you want shukos then?"

Shikamaru smirked. "You have to think outside of the box, Sensei. Or more… outside of this plane of reality."

"What?" Now Asuma was definitely thrown for a loop."

"It's the shadows," Shikamaru said. "Whoever i attack with these will be so busy watching out for the metal that they won't realize that these claws extend my shadow a lot. They make me a whole lot deadlier."

And now Asuma was impressed. He whistled, now very interested in what else his student had come up with.

"What else have you got?"

He eyed the other weapon Shikamaru was holding and found himself confused.

"A kaginawa? Why?"

A kaginawa was basically a chain or cord with a grappling hook at the end, basically like Choji's kusarigama but with a grappling hook at the end instead of a sickle, and also a longer yet sturdy cord.

"It's the same principle as the shukos," Shikamaru said. "I can use this rope in order to extend my shadow. Also, for capture, if my shadow possession jutsu runs out."

Asuma looked at Shikamaru pensively. "Well, it's definitely a useful thing to have in your arsenal, but… I feel like we're missing something."

Shikamaru looked at him uneasily, like he thought so as well but didn't know what.

"I think," Asuma ventured, "that you can't always bank on escaping. A time will come when you have to fight your enemy head on. I think… he who strikes first wins. We need an offensive weapon for you, Shikamaru. And if you are thinking of extending your shadows, I have the perfect fit for you."

"What a drag," Shikamaru groaned. "It'll be lots of practice…"

But he nevertheless followed after Asuma, who lead him to another part of the shop. Finally, he presented Shikamaru with his idea.

"A stick?" Shikamaru asked drolly. "You want me to fight with a _stick_?"

Asuma laughed. "It's more complicated than that. Look at this," he pointed at a note attached to the display before the stick. "This 'stick' is made of metal, and it can be pulled a part. In truth, it's three rods in one, but you can mount it and dismount it to suit you at any given time. You can use it to extend your shadow too." Asuma looked at Shikamaru like a hawk, hoping he'd decide to buy it. "So… what will it be?"

Shikamaru glanced at the metallic rod in silent appraisal. "It does sound useful. Ugh… you'll be the death of me, Sensei. Learning how to wield this thing will be so much work…"

So yes, then.

Perfect.

 **TWISTED**

In a secluded part of the village, Haruno Mebuki walked back home, lost completely in her musings. No, she had not poked around Kakashi's things, though not for lack of wanting to. She'd refrained mostly because she was scared to break their shaky truce.

Her thoughts, however, were on something else entirely: Hatake had slipped up. He'd been so rattled at the moment, she doubted he had noticed… but Mebuki never missed anything.

And now she was extremely worried.

" _My instincts are never wrong_ ," he'd told her. " _If it weren't because of the critical situation we're in, I'd be on your case right about now." His words had heralded a promise of doom."_

 _Something_ was going on, and it had to be extremely big, if only elite jonin were in the know. Or worse. What if Hatake was only in the know because he was directly connected to the chunin exam? What if it was a matter of national security, and only the hokage, ANBU, and the involved parties knew? What if Kakashi only knew because he was Sakura's teacher?

Mebuki knew she was jumping to the worst case scenario here, but it still made an awful lot of sense. There was one likely cause for concern right now, and that was the big inter-village event, the chunin exams! The very exams in which Sakura was participating!

Mebuki tried to tell herself to calm down. She had called Kakashi paranoid (and rightly so) but she'd never denied any claims about herself. Jumping to the worst case scenario was what she did, and it was what worked.

(Maybe she'd die an early death for worrying so much, but it'd be worth it if Sakura made it out alive.)

One thing, however, was clear: Mebuki needed to tell Sakura _that_ at some point. Mebuki hated the necessity, but that was what it was: a necessity.

After the chunin exams, she promised herself, she'd tell her. After it was all over, Mebuki would tell Sakura.

Just as she was pondering on this, second-guessing whether it was truly necessary that the truth be revealed (but it was, Sakura was old enough and it was imperative she know…) just then, Mebuki glimpsed a familiar face… who seemed to have recognized her as well.

It was Sakura's broody teammate, the Uchiha one. Instead of being a snob and ignoring Mebuki like she thought he would, Sasuke Uchiha strode right towards her.

"Do you know where Sakura is?" She had to hand it to him: kid couldn't be accused of beating around the bush.

And that's when Mebuki paused. Even in spite of the fact that they'd separated ways during the past month, Sakura's teammate had noticed she was missing, and was concerned enough to go around town searching for her… because that was clearly what he'd been doing, in a district like this.

Mebuki was a little reluctant… but maybe… maybe she could give Sakura's beloved teammates a chance.

"Yes, I do."

"Tell me."

"Very well."

 **A/N:**

 **I suppose many of you have lots of questions about this particular character…**

 **But alas, I'm too evil for this plane of existence. (Here's where you insert the mad cackles.)**

 **It gleefully prides me to say that I've been foreshadowing Mebuki's secret since literally chapter one, and now the ball has finally started rolling! I'm so excited about this.**

 **Anyways, have a nice week! :) I'll be sure to update more now that Christmas is about to begin!**


	43. Sasuke’s dilemma

Sakura had never thought she'd encounter difficulties quite as challenging as _this_. This being fishing of course.

Fishing without a rod.

Mebuki had left the forest clearing a while ago, her clone popping into oblivion after she'd announced that Sakura had had enough training for today. And simple as that, Sakura was once again left alone.

She knew she'd resolved to train in Mebuki's absence, but first of all Sakura needed to secure a meal. After all, she couldn't train herself to exhaustion and then perish out of hunger. But the problem was: she was already tired. Thus, hunting was out of the question; Sakura was in no state to run about.

So… that only left fishing.

But fishing, as it turned out, wasn't much easier. Especially without a rod. Sakura had trekked to the creek she usually got water from, and then come to a halt. After much consideration, she had come up with a plan to fill her stomach. It pained her greatly to resort to this, and she'd tried to think of another way, but ultimately, if there was once thing the forest had taught her, that would be practicality.

Without much more preamble, Sakura took off the red mesh shirt her mom had picked outfit her in order to wear over the "revealing" tank top. It would be useful in its net-like consistency. And thus, Sakura sliced it open irrevocably with a kunai. It wasn't perfect, but it would be quite handy as a net. And so, Sakura cut it open neatly, after which she began felling a tree. The large tree trunk she proceeded to roll over into the river. Her plan was to make the path of the water narrower. She was realizing now how difficult it would be to build a damn or even a simple bridge (now she felt admiration for Tazuna), but Sakura wasn't giving up either.

She had also realized something else… since when was she _this_ strong?

She remembered having trouble to fell a single tree just a bit ago, during the second phase of the exam. Given, back then Sakura had been extremely tired and almost exhausted into unconsciousness, but the point remained: she now felt like she'd gotten much stronger. Physically stronger.

Perhaps, Sakura mused, it had something to do with Kakashi's trick. The trick he'd taught her seemingly so long ago, back in Wave. It was, if Sakura recalled correctly, the first real chakra technique she'd learned from him: the chakra channeling that supposedly stimulated and sped up the muscle growth process, which, as Kakashi claimed, only could be pulled off by those who no longer needed it.

Sakura remembered her mortification all those months ago at suddenly gaining so much muscle mass at once. But she also remembered quite clearly Kakashi's explanation for it: that only a select few had chakra control good enough to infiltrate muscle tissue and this speed up its growth, less so in all areas of the body at once, as Sakura had been doing since she'd finished the second exam.

At first, she'd been proud of Kakashi-sensei's praise and slightly apprehensive at looking _macho_ , but now, that particular gibberish was the furthest thing from Sakura's mind. She remembered being extremely glad for her added muscle strength back in the forest, when she'd fought Coyote, AKA the guy with the umbrellas, to death. Sakura knew that her frame was petite and feminine… any advantage she could get wouldn't be enough.

But back on point, yes, she was surprised at how much her muscles had developed… but good for her, right? The armor didn't feel like an unnatural weight anymore, and Sakura took that as a good omen. Anyways, all of her titanic effort and death matches had amounted to something! Her suffering and tears now boiled down to… being able to fell trees.

Urgh.

 _Sometimes I wonder what is wrong with us_ , Inner commented. She'd been uncharacteristically quiet these past few days, mainly because Sakura was doing her best to ignore her.

Without paying attention to the voice, Sakura rolled the last of the tree trunks upon the river. Then, using spare ropes, knots and well-placed rocks, she spun the remainders of her mesh shirt over the remaining length of the creek like a fishing web. Hopefully with this she could hold off the passing fish long enough for her to catch one.

 **TWISTED**

And now here Sakura was, trying and failing to even brush a fish with her finger. At some point, she'd started using her chakra to get across the water, to chase after fish more quickly. After a while (hours) of practice, she had even managed to walk vertically up a waterfall that was close by. Sakura could admit to herself that she was getting a little sidetracked by that one, but she'd never used her chakra control recreationally before and it was amazing!

In the past week, Sakura had improved at chakra control quite a bit. If that was even possible. Sakura surmised that it might have something to do with her perfecting the long range kawarimi. Come to think of it, perhaps she should start calling her technique differently. Because it was. _Her_ technique. Sakura had invented it. Or maybe not that, but it came close enough. No one before had tweaked the kawarimi to that extend. Not many would be able to use it even if they wanted to, because their chakra control wouldn't be up to par.

Thanks to all the practice while hunting and fleeing, Sakura was now so good at it that she could almost send something akin to chakra threads across an open space and just sort of latch onto something a long ways off and _pull_ herself forward, while whatever object she'd latched to was pulled back. Basically: long distance kawarimi only harder.

The whole idea had come to Sakura in the first place because of the bird-hunting, but also thanks to her theorizing how the kawarimi worked. Had anyone else ever even bothered to get to the bottom of a jutsu? Not the professors of the Academy, that was for sure.

Sakura had always had so many questions about the kawarimi in particular that she'd been brimming to ask… for instance: why did some people have a longer range than others with the kawarimi? Why could some jonin like Kakashi substitute into a tree three meters away, while, for example an Academy student couldn't hope to substitute with something over half a meter away, even if their execution of the jutsu was flawless?

Well, there was only one logical conclusion… it had to have something to do with their chakra volume. It was obvious, in hindsight, that a jonin had much more chakra than an Academy student… but still. Why wasn't kawarimi like all the other techniques? Shouldn't a perfect execution compensate for a lack of chakra? The substitution itself wasn't particularly taxing… so why was chakra quantity so essential to the kawarimi?

Well, Sakura believed she knew the answer. For days now, she'd been experimenting a lot with hand signs and combinations of them in order to obtain different results when casting a genjutsu… and her findings, if applied to the hand signs necessary to the kawarimi, said one thing very clearly: the kawarimi hand signs sort of made your chakra leave your body in a more literal way than other jutsu.

If Sakura was correct, one was able to substitute with any one object located in an individual's chakra horizon. The chakra horizon, as Sakura had dubbed it, was the limit where one's chakra ended out of the body. So, if say, your chakra horizon had a two meter radius, you could use kawarimi with any one object in your two meter chakra horizon but go no further. With her tweaked kawarimi no jutsu, Sakura went a step further: she amassed all of her chakra into a thread and sent it towards whatever object she wanted to switch with. It was a little impractical because it took lots of effort and good aim, but it could be extremely useful in certain situations.

 _Could it be called a new technique altogether?_ Sakura wondered giddily. If that was the case, she'd call it the Chakra Horizon Jutsu. Extremely creative it was not, but Sakura doubted anyone would be interested anyway. Practice had made Sakura faster at substituting with her Chakra Horizon technique, but it was still the most taxing challenge she'd undertaken in terms of chakra control by far, and she was aware that most people wouldn't be able to do it.

It'd be enough to get out of danger, however.

And that was what mattered.

Sakura remembered, with chills racking down her spine, how her mother had just warned her before leaving. Mebuki had said to watch out, for a storm was brewing. She seemed out of sorts and reluctant to share how she'd found out about this, but Sakura had seen real worry in her eyes. If Mebuki was right, then she needed to get to the bottom of this!

With renewed vigor, Sakura threw herself at the fish.

 **TWISTED**

She had just been snapping at a fish to just get itself caught already, when a voice actually replied.

"I doubt it'll listen to you," someone said cooly from behind her. Startled, Sakura whirled around. It was Sasuke! She stared at him as though she'd seen a ghost.

"I was just venting… at the fish," she explained lamely.

Sasuke smirked. "I can see that." He jumped into the river right next to her, and, surprise, surprise, managed to stand on the water.

Meanwhile, Sakura tried awkwardly to catch a passing fish yet was too distracted to get even close. She'd been attempting to predict its trajectory, but honestly, Sakura was starting to think that not even an oracle could succeed at that.

Sasuke watched her silently. He'd taken a seat on a protruding tree trunk (one of those Sakura had used to block half of the river) and dipped his feet into the water. "What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked after a moment.

Sakura paused, glad that the awkward silence was over. "I just… wanted to be… not afraid, you know?"

"So you came to this place?"

"Um. Yes. Why are _you_ here?"

Sasuke stared at the fish swirling in the water pensively. "I felt like paying a visit."

"Right," said Sakura; sitting down next to him. "That's very… thoughtful of you."

Sasuke made a noncommittal sound.

There was a long silence afterward, which felt very stilted for Sakura. After realizing that Sasuke was engrossed in his own thing, however, she gradually, eased into the quiet, staring unblinkingly at the water.

Without warning, Sasuke suddenly lurched forward. Sakura yelped, about to ask him what he was doing and if he needed help… but was thrown for a loop when she saw that Sasuke had re-emerged from the water. And then she noticed that he was holding something. It was a wiggling something. A wiggling, wet fish. Without a doubt, Sasuke had caught it. Just like that!

Sakura had been trying for so long to get a hold of even a small fish, and now Sasuke had come along and succeeded in catching a big one on his first try. How unfair was that?!

"How did you predict its movements?" Sakura asked brusquely.

"I didn't." Sasuke blinked. Tossed the fish on the ground. "That's not how you do it. With moving targets, you can't predict where they'll go. You just have to act before they do."

"So that's how? You were just _quick_?" Sakura's asked incredulously.

"That, and I saw it was going to squirt around a rock."

"So you did anticipate its moments."

"Maybe." Sasuke dipped his hand in again, though this time he caught nothing. "Sometimes it's not about thinking… it's about not thinking."

Sakura's mouth drooped. "I don't… quite follow."

Sasuke cast her a half annoyed, half bemused look. "To be quicker, no, to be the quickest, you have to cast aside every other thought and just act."

Surprisingly, Sakura was reminded of her attempts at hunting. Involuntarily, she'd also done something similar to what Sasuke had just described. She'd been there, in the zone. She knew that single-minded focus that came during the hunt , and paradoxically, she also knew it from being hunted herself. Orochimaru had made way too many allusions to prey and predator for that to go over her head.

Sasuke was right, she realized. She needed to learn how to stop thinking as well. There was strength in that too.

Sakura frowned. "I guess strategy isn't always going to work. Looking back now, Iruka-Sensei's tests seem overrated."

Sasuke snorted. "Never though I'd hear you say that."

In turn, Sakura mustered him suspiciously. "Is there something you're trying to tell me?" she challenged.

"Never thought you'd ask that, either."

"Well?"

"You are a bookworm."

"And that's a problem?"

Sasuke smirked. "It used to be annoying."

"Really," Sakura said dryly. "I'm sorry if I've offended your sensibilities." Inwardly, she was banging her head against a pillar. All those years she'd tried to look intelligent just for Sasuke and he'd thought her a know-it-all all along? Fantastic. What other bombs was he going to drop?

"Alright," she said. "I may be a bookworm but you are a… a…" –geez! She was terrible at name-calling!– "…a peacock."

Sasuke stared at her blankly for a moment. "You are aware that is an animal?"

Sakura felt flustered… but she wasn't backing down. "Yes. Obviously. What other kinds of peacock are there?" She honestly couldn't believe she was having this conversation.

"It's rude to call people animals."

"You just called me a worm!" A bookworm but still.

Sasuke smirked. "True."

"The normal thing is to say you take it back!"

"Hn."

"Hashirama's mullet, Sasuke!" Sakura cussed. She had to be dreaming this up. She had to be. There was just no way that she was tossing insults at Sasuke! And he was tossing them back! Almost like… like Sasuke and Naruto usually behaved. But then again… hadn't Sakura sometimes felt left out, when Sasuke and Naruto bantered, and Kakashi called them impulsive idiots, and Sakura had only ever gotten a pat on the head because she was a girl?

She'd rather be called a bookworm or even a booksnail, thanks. With that in mind, Sakura smirked at Sasuke and said: "Well, just so you know, my calling you a peacock wasn't happenstance. You actually resemble one a lot."

Sasuke stared at her like a stirring panther. "Do tell, Bookworm." A stirring panther who just realized there's a rabbit around.

Sakura couldn't hold back the reflexive grin that took over her face. They were bantering! "Well, for one, it's your behavior, Sasuke: your strutting reminds me of a peacock. And so do your blue clothes… and _hair_."

Sasuke touched his hair with one hand. "My… hair?" he parroted.

"Yes, your hair. You know those feathers on a duck's behind?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Well, your hair stands up just like that."

There was a silence where Sakura thought that maybe she'd gone too far, she wasn't Naruto after all; Sasuke would hate her.

"You just… compared me to a duck's behind." Sasuke sounded mystified.

"Well, not all of you! Just your hair. And, you know, your swagger."

"So now you've upgraded me from peacock to duck seen from behind?"

Sakura laughed. "If you really insist."

"Don't," Sasuke warned.

"Don't what? Be eloquent, Sasuke!"

"Don't call me that in front of the idiot."

Sakura smirked. "So I can call you Duck Rear when we're alone?"

Sasuke glared.

"I guess Naruto would love to hear about that nickname, huh?" Sakura teased.

"I at least came up with something not plainly offensive," Sasuke defended grumpily.

Well, that was true. He'd just called Sakura a bookworm (of the formerly annoying kind), while she he had compared him to a duck's private parts.

"I guess you're right. Sorry." Sakura still felt light from her laughter. "But be warned: if you call me Bookworm, I'll have to call you Peacock."

Apparently disregarding her, Sasuke took that moment to dive into the river.

"Wait!" He was going to try to catch even more fish, wasn't he? Sakura wanted to try too!

And so, she dove into the river right after her teammate.

 **TWISTED**

A while later had them camping out around a fire, the smell of fried fish wafting around the air. Sakura could proudly said that she'd managed to "shut off" her mind after a bit, and following that it had all been smooth sailing. Now that they were eating, the real trial had begun. These past few days, Sakura had pretty much forgone all kinds of table manners while alone, and now she was struggling to avoid looking like a cave woman while she ate. Sasuke, as always, was perfectly graceful.

"Question:" Sasuke said suddenly when he finished chewing on a fish. "How would you get someone to spar with you?"

Sakura blinked. "You ask them? Or do you mean against their will?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Well… I wouldn't want to force anyone to do that," Sakura said immediately. "Are you trying to make someone fight you? As in, a candidate of the exam?"

"No," said Sasuke. "This person agreed to fight me… provided I can get them to jump off a cliff."

Sakura actually chortled at that and henceforth started choking on her fish. "That doesn't sound very willing to me. Sasuke, you can't force this on some poor lad!"

Sasuke looked conflicted. "He's not some defenseless lad, I can tell. He's strong."

Ah. Now Sakura understood. "So. A ninja?"

"…I don't think so. Maybe a retired ninja."

"A retired ninja whom you want to convince to spar with you in order to train."

"Yes."

"But didn't Kakashi recommend you to Kurenai-san already?"

Sasuke grimaced.

"Hn… she taught me useful things… but she's never pushed me."

"Hasn't she?" Sakura murmured. That didn't sound like Guy-sensei at all. "But your taijutsu is already very good. It's normal Kakashi-sensei recommended you to a genjutsu mistress, that way, you can improve."

"Yes, though it'll be pointless if I can not practice what I've learned in a match."

"That's true. Kurenai didn't spar against you?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Kiba did. That Shino guy who also passed the exam was mostly doing his own thing, and Kurenai stuck around with her boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Sakura repeated. The pervert from the hot springs had a boyfriend?

"Yes. The squad leader of team ten."

"Asuma?"

"Hn."

Sakura was pretty sure she hadn't heard any gossip about that, and if Asuma and Kurenai really were an item, she was pretty sure Ino would've shouted it from the rooftops by now. But if Sasuke hadn't ever appreciated her know-it-all moments, then maybe it'd be wiser not to correct him on that account.

"So…" she muttered, grounding herself. "You need a teacher. You've found someone you like. He doesn't reciprocate. What now?"

Sasuke looked her straight in the eye, and asked: "How do you convince someone to jump off a cliff?"

Sakura's mind went blank.

"You're serious."

"I am."

 _Alright, Haruno, be calm. Don't start laughing hysterically._

"What makes you think that I'd know?" Sakura asked at last.

"It was worth a try," said Sasuke. He looked put off.

"Well, maybe I can think of something. What is this guy like?"

"He's…" Sasuke paused, "…a pervert."

Again, Sakura sputtered and nearly chocked on a fish spine.

" _What?_ Why would you want that kind of person to teach you?"

"He's strong."

"Okay?" Sakura realized right about then that Sasuke was Actually Serious.

"I think… we need to look at this from a different angle."

"I gathered."

"You know…" said Sakura pensively. "I think the most indicated person for this would be Naruto."

Sasuke didn't voice a reply to that, but the look he shot her was telling.

"I mean it! What would Naruto do in a situation like this?" After a moment of pondering on it, Sakura answered herself. "I know! He'd transform into some suggestive girl and pretend to fall off a cliff! That way, if your will-be teacher really is a ninja (and a pervert), he'll jump at the chance to pull off a dashing save."

Sasuke looked taken aback. "That could work," he said after a moment. "Transform into a girl. Easy."

Without waiting a moment, he'd formed the necessary hand-signs and adopted the form of a shapely woman. Sakura felt like she'd learned more from Sasuke now than in all of their previous time put together.

"That's… it looks pretty neat!" Sakura stared at Sasuke critically. "But you don't walk like a girl," she added. "If this pervert is worth his money, he'll recognize the deception."

Sasuke looked disgruntled. "Then how am I supposed to… to walk like a girl?"

Bemused, Sakura decided to take pity on him. "I'll tell you what, Peacock. I'll go with you and do the tripping down a cliff. You can approach from behind and give the pervert a shove."

Sasuke looked at her pensively. Then, he nodded. Sakura was glad he hadn't made any comments about her falling or needing to be protected – he trusted Sakura's ability to fend for herself. After all, Sakura was the most skilled at chakra control, and chakra control was what she would need in order to latch onto the walls of the cliff.

"In that case… do you want to go after we finish eating?" Sakura suggested. She'd have to look like a normal civilian for the deception to work… which meant taking off the armor. It'd be the first time she did so except for when she'd bathed. Sakura felt Guidry at the thought. She might also need to make herself look slightly older with a genjutsu (her incessant nightly practice had made her good enough for that). All in all, Sakura was confident she and Sasuke could trick whoever this was, strong amazing shinobi or not.

 **TWISTED**

Naruto, Shikamaru, Ino and Choji had all managed to successfully buy their chosen weapons for a reasonable expense (the prices had dropped incredibly as soon as the clerk had learned their surnames), but what was even more interesting was that the clerk had known Sakura, whom he seemed to like. His mention of her had been almost in passing, upon learning that Shikamaru would be competing in the last stage of the chunin exam as well.

Though Ino had susbsequeqntly tried to worm more information out of him, for instance what Sakura had bought or where she was, the man had kept tight lipped. Which left them where they were, except now they knew that Sakura's purchase had been "very unusual".

Which begged the question:

"Where's Sakura-chan?! C'mon! I wanna know!" Naruto was now convinced that Sakura was undergoing some kind of clandestine training, as opposed to being a victim of kidnapping.

Just as he was getting ostensibly unbearable with his unending questions, Kurenai Yuhi and Kakashi himself rounded a corner, walking right into Naruto and the others, the former of which didn't waste a second on attacking Kakashi with a barrel of questions and accusations.

"No, I'm not secretly training Sakura," Kakashi said. After a second, he added: "Nor Sasuke."

"But! But Sensei! You know where she is, don't you! You have to tell! Is Sakura-chan doing some kind of super secret training?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I doubt it can be called that if you know about it already."

"WHAT?"

"So she is!" Ino exclaimed. "Forehead is off somewhere training!"

"I don't see why that is so surprising to you," said Shikamaru. "Training is what we're supposed to be doing during this interlude month."

"Why weren't you at the emer- um – _meeting_?" Kurenai took the chance to ask, turning towards Asuma. Kakashi seemed interested in hearing the answer as well.

"My old man is the hokage, you know? He'll talk to me later; I suppose," Asuma said quietly.

Shikamaru gave the jonin a very sharp look, which Kakashi saw and proceeded to swiftly change the topic:

"Yo, Naruto. I don't mean to set the dogs on Sakura, but I'd rather you hound her for questions than me."

"Yeah, but she's not here for that, Baka-sensei! And no thanks to you!" Naruto yelled.

"Oh, but she is," Kakashi deadpanned, jabbing his finger somewhere behind him without looking. In tandem, everyone in their group did a hundred eighty. And indeed, Sakura and Sasuke were walking side by side on an adjacent street.

"WHA–" Naruto's shocked face quickly morphed into suspicion. "What are the bastard and Sakura-chan doing together?"

Ino, meanwhile, had a finger propped against her chin in vague resemblance of a detective. She looked positively thrilled. "Woooo, go Forehead! Smooth!"

"What do you mean, smooth?!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Don't you have eyes, moron? Forehead's scored herself a date with a hottie!"

"A hottie which happens to be the guy you've been pining after since we were nine," Shikamaru said drily. "What happened to that?"

Chuckling, Ino fanned herself with a hand-out she'd been given and grinned. "I'm happy for Forehead, duh!" she exclaimed, sounding surprisingly mature about it. "Sakura's actually the one who made such a big deal out of the whole us both liking the same guy dilema. I mostly just went after Sasuke because he was a catch of the highest order and right up my alley, but I never really knew him, see? Still, Forehead probably liked him for pretty much the same reasons. And I kind of got the feeling that she was trying to antagonize me on purpose for it."

"Why would she do that? You're lying, Ino-snob! Sakura-chan wouldn't pick a fight for no reason!" Naruto defended.

"Back then I didn't understand," Ino said. "But now I think I do. Don't get your hopes up though: it's not my place to tell you."

Naruto frowned, returning to another point of interest. "I don't care! There's just no way Sakura-chan and the bastard are on a date! No way!"

"You think they'd ask you for permission?" Ino asked, sneering. "Think again!"

"They're not on a date! And I'll prove it!" Naruto exclaimed.

"How? By stalking them? By spying on your friends like a creep?"

"Even better: by pranking them!"

"Pah! Over my dead body! I won't let you stalk anybody, Naruto! You think you have a chance with Sakura? Think again! She'll never look at you that way!"

"Blah, Blai, blah! I didn't hear anything you said, Ino! Stop sticking your nose into my business!"

There was a pregnant pause.

"…perhaps… yes, maybe following them wouldn't be remiss," Kurenai said with vacillation, glancing between Naruto and Ino.

"What?! Has everyone here gone crazy!" Ino yelled, as Naruto made a triumphant sound.

"Just think about it, Ino. Do you really think Sasuke would go on a date with anyone?" Shikamaru cut in. "Because he's never seemed like that kind of guy to me."

"So? That'd just rub it in all the more!" countered Ino.

"But what if it's not Sasuke?" Shikamaru said. "What if it's a spy?"

"EEK!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Shikamaru's hit the arrow on the dot," Kurenai spoke up. "For all we know, someone could be impersonating Sasuke… it's our duty as ninja to watch out for any discrepancies in someone's behavior in order to weed out spies and threats. Specially with so many foreigners here… Besides, this is a ninja village. Spying is just what we do," Kurenai finished with a devilish glint in her eye.

"I don't think this is a good idea…" Ino insisted mulishly.

"Then don't come!" Naruto shouted. " _I'm_ going after Sakura-chan!"

 **TWISTED**

Sakura and Sasuke were, for all intents and purposes, simply walking side by side, doing nothing. Kakashi, however, had other opinions:

"They're looking for someone," he decided after a moment.

"You think it's really them?" Kurenai asked. "No impostors or anything?"

"No," said Kakashi. "I had a clone posted close to where Sakura was training. My clone just dispelled. It's them alright."

"Then let's just leave!" Ino said vehemently. "We've followed them to the edge of town! What else are we supposed to do? And there's a cliff up ahead anyways; they'll have to turn around and then we'll be spotted!"

But no one was listening to her.

"What is… what's she doing?" Shikamaru asked, looking at Sakura. "Is it me or does she suddenly look five years older?"

"Forget Sakura! Sasuke just took cover behind some shrubs!" Ino exclaimed. "What on earth is going on?"

Asuma, who had until then tagged along out of boredom, examined the scene with interest. His gaze roamed the field up ahead, stopping on a man that was still a ways off. "Is that…?"

At Asuma's words, both Kakashi and Kurenai turned to look at the man Asuma was pointing at.

"Yes. That's _him_ alright," Kakashi said.

"Him? Who?" Naruto asked, yet was ignored.

"Why do I get the feeling that Sasuke and Sakura's presence here is connected him?" Kurenai murmured.

As they talked, Sakura had walked forward, getting closer and closer to the cliff. The mystery man seemed to have noticed as well, for he began making wild hand gestures.

"Hey, watch out, lady! There's a cliff up ahead! CLIFF! Oi!"

Yet Sakura continued walking towards her doom in blissful oblivion.

"Hey!" The man attempted to run towards her across the field, yet Sakura was by then very close to the precipice… and then she'd fallen in.

The man came to a skittering halt by the edge of the cliff, shouting but looking reluctant to jump in after Sakura.

Just then, Sasuke came out of hiding and shoved the man with all his might. The man wobbled, appeared to be about to fall… yet managed to recover his balance.

"Are you out of your mind, kid?!" he shouted loudly. "You made your friend jump down a cliff just to win a bet?!"

Sasuke scoffed. Tried to push the man again. Failed.

"Now, now," what's going on here?" Kakashi queried lightly. The others followed him as he came up from behind their hiding place.

"You were following us?" Sasuke asked with narrowed eyes.

Kakashi ignored him and turned towards the man.

"That girl which you saw jump down a cliff was my student," he said without beating around the bush.

"Ahah! Kakashi, just the man I was looking for!" the man said with familiarity, patting Kakashi on the back with the force of a wild bear.

Kakashi chocked. "Long time no see, Jiraya."

"Did he just say…?" Ino murmured.

"I… think so." Shikamaru sounded equally shocked.

"It's Jiraya," Choji confirmed. "I heard it too."

"Who's he?" Naruto asked.

"You don't know?!" Ino exclaimed. "He's Jiraya of the Sannin! A living legend!"

"I DON'T CARE IF HE'S THE POPE! WE'VE GOT TO SAVE SAKURA-CHAN!"

"She'll be fine," Sasuke said dismissively. "Her chakra control is good enough to latch onto a wall."

"Oi, kid," said Jiraya. "You think your friend can just up and latch onto a wall? The walls of this cliff are too frail for that. She can't."

"What do you mean, she can't?!" Naruto shouted, lunging towards the cliff.

"Hold it!" Jiraya exclaimed. At speeds the genin had never before seen, Jiraya went through a long set of hand signs, after which he bit his finger.

"Summoning jutsu!" he shouted, slamming his palm into the ground. Out of nowhere appeared a giant fox. "I'll use this to go after your teammate. You wait here!"

 **TWISTED**

Meanwhile, Sakura was falling, falling, falling.

At first, she didn't pay much attention to where she was going, more intent on seeing whether 'Bushman', as Sasuke called the pervert, would come plummeting after her.

But then, as the seconds ticked by and Sakura's fall became faster and faster, it slowly dawned on her that something must have gone horribly wrong. The wind whistled in her ears, the air tasted humid in her tongue and her heart threatened to leave her ribcage.

 _Time to stop this swan dive!_ Inner screeched. Sakura's survival instincts were rearing their head, and for once, Sakura didn't try to ignore Inner.

Performing a flip in the air, she planted her feet firmly on one of the precipice's steep walls. Without much preamble, Sakura proceeded to pump out as much chakra as she dared through her feet… Yet what stone she touched broke off, the slabs of rock and pebbles hitting her face painfully. Thorough the haze of agony and alarm, Sakura realized that she could not latch onto a wall that crumbled upon touch. She was fried. Sakura began to feel truly afraid.

How could she have been so stupid!

She should've checked the cliff before jumping! She'd been arrogant, Sakura could see that clearly now. Never again would she make that same mistake!

(Provided she survived.)

And wasn't that a sobering thought?

Sakura kept falling, and falling, and falling… she couldn't peer past the darkness, couldn't see 'the end of the tunnel'.

At some point, she realized that she was panicking.

 _Calm down!_ Inner shouted. _If we lose our head now, we'll die!_

In an attempt to ground herself, Sakura bit her hand, perhaps much more strongly than she would've had she not been losing her mind. Blood oozed out of the bite wound, yet not even her own blood kept Sakura company, as it was staying behind while Sakura fell, creating the impression that her blood was _flying_.

Sakura screamed.

Unbidden, the image of those tarantula who'd tried to eat her back at the forest came to mind… and suddenly, Sakura knew what to do.

With trembling and clumsy fingers, she produced rope and kunai out of her pockets. They were her last pieces. With the help of her teeth, Sakura held onto the rope pieces and tied them to the kunai.

 _You only have one shot at this… make it count!_

"KYAAAAAA!" With all of her strength and more, Sakura slammed the wired kunai into four opposite ends of the walls at once, creating the impression of a cobweb.

Her plan had worked, for the kunai stuck to the walls, putting a stop to her free fall, but leaving Sakura hanging in the middle of nothing, supported only by four tiny ropes.

Great. Now what?

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!"

Shocked, she rose her head to see… Naruto? He was mounted on a large toad, along with Sasuke, Kakashi, Ino, Shikamaru, and, even more surprisingly, the pervert.

The toad was perched on a wall somehow, a few meters over where Sakura's 'web' was spun.

"Naruto, don't!" Sakura yelled, when she noticed the blonde was about to jump off towards her. "Don't come after me! You'll fall as well!"

"We'll get you out of there, Sakura!" Sasuke yelled.

"No! I said don't!" Sakura shouted desperately. "I can get out of here by myself! Just trust me!"

There was a second of unnerving silence.

"Don't yell…" Sakura vaguely picked up on Kakashi's voice. "…consequences… walls crumbling…"

Sakura sort of got the idea. By putting herself in danger, she was jeopardizing the safety of her teammates and Ino! Resolute, Sakura pulled at her new-found strength to get herself out of this tight spot.

During Sakura's stay at the forest, her numerous altercations with the monkeys had taught her a thing or two about balance and acrobatics, and now, that might save her life.

Using her core strength, Sakura heaved herself into a standing position over the ropes. The whole structure trembled, but it held. Sakura waited until the tremors on the ropes ceased, then attempted to walk slowly towards one of the walls. Seeing the precipice underneath of her swaying feet felt daunting, but Sakura had only one option: to continue forward.

Tick Tok, Tick Tok. The minutes crawled by slowly, and Sakura felt completely exhausted, yet she'd done it. She was almost there–

Without warning, Kakashi's voice cut through the silence: "Watch out!"

Sakura jumped. And not a second too soon, because a giant… bug, there was just no other way to describe it, was alight on the same spot Sakura had just vacated.

The thing had horrible antlers and a cocoon. It looked like a strange cross between a cockroach and a bat, but more than that, it looked dangerous.

Sakura had thankfully to relocated to a perch on a wall as well. She'd managed to hold onto the cliff with chakra this time, due to the fact that she wasn't currently falling into a pit at inhuman speeds…

But what about this weird creature? Now that she was looking more closely, Sakura could discern a stinger under those bat-like wings, and she really felt half terrified of that in particular. She did not want to find out what happened to someone who'd been stung.

The creature lurched and so did Sakura, though she went in the opposite direction. It was thanks to a large chakra burst that she managed to jump over the abyss and latch onto the opposite wall.

"Sakura!" This time, the scream of warning came from Ino.

Sakura whirled around, just in time to see more of those things crawl out of a hole.

"What are they?" Sakura shouted, heedless of whether the noise would make anything crumble, as Kakashi had cautioned them earlier.

"Get away!" was her only reply, this time delivered by the pervert.

Sakura was glad to do so, jumping across the abyss once more. The creatures, though heavy, could use those bat wings to glide across the bottomless nothing with practiced ease, and as such, one of them nearly managed to sting Sakura – though she evaded it just on time.

"Sakura, catch!" Kakashi called out suddenly.

And right on cue, something that glinted in the semi-darkness came sailing through the air towards her. Sakura caught it just barely. She didn't need to be an expert or even looking at the blade to realize that she was holding a katana.

 _A katana!_

The implications of it were enough to leave her breathless, but now was not the time to think about it. Now was not the time to think of why Kakashi owned a weapon that was almost exclusively used by ANBU.

Now was not the time damn it!

It wasn't so much the sword as the idea behind it that terrified Sakura: Kakashi thought that this situation was serious if he was giving it to her. Serious enough to warrant chugging a valuable sword into an abyss.

She needed to get out of here. Now!

"Naruto!" Sakura chocked out. "Clones!"

Naruto didn't wait to be asked twice. "Shadow clone jutsu!" he shouted impetuously. And soon, a respectable barrage of Narutos popped into existence.

Sakura didn't wait twice to yell: "Make a clone tower!"

Trusting blindly that he would, she jumped upwards into the abyss, just as the Narutos held onto each other's hands and feet, dangling dangerously in the void, right in Sakura's path.

"AAAGH!" Sakura barreled right into one through her grip was slipping. Through sheer stubbornness alone, she managed to hold onto the collar of Naruto's jacket.

"You're choking me!" the Naruto yelled.

Sakura ignored his complaints: the creatures had begun crawling up the Naruto chain… the last of which had already been stung. And popped.

Wildly and overruled by fear, Sakura brusquely propped her feet on Naruto's shoulders, held onto his hair, and pulled herself upward, holding onto the next Naruto's feet, and so on. By this point, she had enough core strength to manage a swift ascent, though, with a shiver, Sakura could admit to herself that, to the previous Sakura, the effort required to climb vertically like this for so long and so quickly would've been too much for her to manage.

It was a race against the stinger creatures and gravity and her aching muscles, a race which involved the sound of Naruto's clones popping away and moaning in pain as soon as they got stung, all while Sakura ran away like a headless chicken, the abyss dangling underneath of her.

Once again, she was being a coward! Sakura hated that.

"Shit!" she heard someone cuss. And Sakura knew: there was a creature right bellow her.

But then: "Fenix Flower Jutsu!" Sasuke's roar reverberated in the darkness, and suddenly, Sakura was being enveloped by smoldering heat. The creature underneath her shriveled up and died fried, but so did the walls of the precipice. A sort of geyser burst forth from the rocks behind Sakura, going up, up and up with scalding water.

The boiling torrent hit the chain of Narutos right in the middle, and, burned by the heat of it, one of them let go, and so all of them plus Sakura fell right into the geyser.

Sakura vaguely heard someone screaming in the background, and at some level she was aware that this must look very frightening indeed, but she wasn't scared.

This, she could do.

Without wasting a second, Sakura channeled chakra into her feet, coating them with the thickest layer of yin energy she'd ever made, and covered it with another layer, this time made up of hypersensitive yang chakra, which would serve in order to adapt to the water's erratic movements.

And then she was **flying**.

This was easy, this was her element! It was challenging but entirely within Sakura's capabilities… and thus, Haruno Sakura rode the geyser like a queen her loyal horse.

Literally. She surfed on the scalding water, changing the ebb and flow of her chakra along with the water. She got somewhat splashed here and there by the scalding water, but Sakura had covered her whole body with a protective layer of chakra which took the brunt of it.

She could feel she was getting to the highest point of the geyser, when she heard the screams of her friends. At first, she thought they were cheering for her in happiness, but as she got closer, she discerned terror in them. And then, Sakura saw what waited ahead.

One of those creatures with the stinger lay in wait up ahead!

Sakura twisted her chakra in such a way that it might allow her to control the direction in which the geyser sent her, but something went wrong, and instead she was sent spinning uncontrollably right into the creature's open maw.

"The sword!" That was Kakashi. "Use it!"

Sakura didn't wait to be told twice. She took the sword into her hands (which she'd placed between her teeth) and, still spinning like a tornado, Sakura lurched forwards.

We'll slaughter you, you ugly cockroach! Inner screamed.

Outwardly, Sakura was also delivering a more than frightening (though not very eloquent) battle cry.

"GAAAAAAAAH!"

She was spinning furiously, the katana glinting in the darkness.

And then it made contact.

 **TWISTED**

The blade slit through, and Sakura was free, though the katana remained firmly inside of the beast, forcing Sakura to let go.

"Hold on!" Shikamaru shouted, and threw something in Sakura's direction. It was a sort of rope with a metallic hoop at the end, and Sakura cling to it for dear life. Together, Kakashi and the pervert managed to hoist the rope with Sakura at the end up into the frog, and soon they were off. The ride on the frog was chaotic, if quick. The peculiar summons jumped from rock to rock with surprising easy, especially considering how much trouble Sakura had had just to hold on to it. But not the frog. The green monstrosity leapt and leapt until they were outside of the cliff, and suddenly Sakura was on the ground again, her face kissed by sunshine.

Naruto pounced on her to give her a hug, and they were greeted by Choji, Asuma and Kurenai, who apparently had been waiting outside in case something happened.

 **TWISTED**

"You know, kid," Jiraya said to Sasuke later that afternoon. "You're a public hazard."

"I didn't mean for any of that to happen," Sasuke defended. "It got out of hand."

"What are you doing telling me this?" Jiraya muttered. "Kid, a promise is a promise, I will spar with you, but first I'm making you a better person."

"I'm not a bad person," Sasuke hissed.

"Don't put words in my mouth that I haven't spoken," said Jiraya. "You know that teammate of yours?"

"Sakura?"

"No, blondie."

"What about him?"

"He's got the same name as the character of my first book."

Sasuke blinked. "I don't follow."

"Go read that book, kid, and take a page out of it. You really could learn some things from it."

Sasuke scowled. "So that's it? Now you want me to read a book? What else? Should I bake you a cake as well?"

Jiraya chortled, bemused, and ruffled Sasuke's hair into looking more than ever like a duck's rear. "You should save that vitriol for your enemies, kid. I'll train you, alright, but it'll have to wait 'till tomorrow."

There was a pinched look on Sasuke's face, but he nodded anyway. "We'll meet at the place we first met tomorrow at eight am. And you had better show up."

Jiraya waved cheerfully, though his eyes were for a pair of girls which had passed them.

 **TWISTED**

Approximately an hour later, Sasuke had tracked down Sakura at the gates of the forest of death.

"Sasuke?" She looked confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize." Sasuke didn't elaborate beyond that.

"Uh. Okay? You mean… about what happened this morning? It wasn't your fault, so don't worry."

"That's… good." Sasuke looked at her with calculating intensity. "You've improved a lot."

"I… thanks?"

"We should spar."

Sakura's eyes opened like saucers. "Sasuke… what? Right now? Why?"

Sasuke frowned. "You've improved. So have I. Let's see whose drive has taken them further."

Sakura was at a loss. "You want to… fight? Right here? Right now?"

"Do you not?" Sasuke asked. It was a neutral question, but to Sakura, it felt like her pride was at stake. She'd grown, damn it. She had. Even Sasuke said so. Everyone said so. And yet, the only one who had trouble believing it was Sakura.

Was she truly any different? Sure, she may be more muscly, but had anything else really changed?

In any case, the Old Sakura would've crumbled at the prospect of having to fight Sasuke.

This was, in a way, the path to prove herself to herself. If that even made sense.

"Have it your way then," said Sakura. "We'll fight."

 **A/N:**

 **New, very long chapter. I'm kind of split into two about this one. Do you guys like it at least? We're getting to the end of the first book in this!**


	44. The Dispute! Sasuke vs Sakura

After a while of walking, Sasuke and Sakura found a clearing suitable enough to fight. It was close to the river (because Sakura didn't want to spend forever just looking for water after the spar) and quite spacey.

And that was it. With Sasuke, there was no beating around the bush. In the blink of an eye, before Sakura could even register it, she found herself facing the love of her life in the middle of nowhere, those eyes which had used to make her swoon now staring her down with the unmistakable intensity. An intensity that was not at all romantic – an intensity that heralded the coming fight. Sasuke was ready, this much was clear.

Sakura… wasn't.

Did she really want to do this? Maybe it was something psychological, but she had never imagined herself raising a hand against Sasuke nor viceversa. And yet now… they were seconds away from a brawl. Sakura felt as though the whole world had been tilted off its axis, as though whatever she did now would change everything.

Hashirama's mullet, this was Sasuke!

This was the boy for whom she'd grown out her hair and dressed in the color of passion.

This was Sasuke, the boy for whom Sakura had adopted a studious temperament for years on end.

Sasuke, the boy over whom she'd fought with her best friend.

This was the boy Sakura's whole life had centered around. And now she'd be trying to hurt him. This might only be a training match, but a lot of things could go wrong.

Sakura took a deep, calming breath and closed her eyes. She tried telling herself that this wasn't so dramatic. Why was a spar such a big deal? Sakura told herself that, logically, she should already be over Sasuke. There'd been nothing between them to begin with. Just her unrequited feelings, that, let's face it, hadn't even been love.

Yes, that was right.

The thought had felt like a simple platitude at first, but now it was there – and Sakura knew at once that it wasn't an untruth.

Her feelings for Sasuke had never been true love.

After everything she'd been through with her team, Sakura now realized that she'd never truly loved Sasuke… just the idea of him. Just his social status, his aptitude… things she'd deemed as perfection.

Now she realized how vain she'd been. Love was supposed to be selfless, no? Sakura had only ever loved Sasuke to bolster her own social image. The thought hurt, and perhaps it wasn't the ideal way to psyche herself up for a fight, but it was true.

And all this she saw now. The truth about herself came crashing down like a tidal wave, and Sakura had trouble not to sway on the spot.

Sasuke, the love of her life.

Sasuke, the boy she hadn't even known. (Not really.)

How could these two realities be the same person? She'd spent the greater part of her life pining vapidly after an image instead of focusing on her own growth and happiness. Not only had Sakura wasted herself away, but she'd also done wrong by Sasuke, who didn't deserve to be fanatically sought after only to be used as an accessory for popularity. Sakura tried calming down.

She forced herself to remember those long hours she'd spent in peace, hiding or hunting at the forest. She tried to recreate that feeling and pushed everything else away. Now was not the time for an existential crisis. Sakura would give it her all in this spar; a spar against her teammate, nothing more… and nothing less. She opened her eyes.

"Let's do this."

"If you're ready," Sasuke said, tilting his head to the side.

Rather than answering the unasked question, Sakura launched forward. In the blink of an eye, she was in reaching distance of Sasuke, or rather, in punching distance. She delivered one, two, three fast-paced strikes, but Sasuke was nothing if not quick, and he blocked them all with time to spare. Sakura was beginning to see how good Sasuke really was. As they fought, she suddenly had a deeper understanding of what Sasuke was doing, and why the teachers had always praised him so. He wasn't just the flashy moves and masculine prowess Sakura had once been blinded by. Sasuke was quick and subtle and focused, his kicks and punches were precise and well-timed, and his demeanor was cool and unperturbed.

But this wasn't what surprised Sakura so much.

The thing was… she was keeping up with him. More or less, anyway. Sakura's technique was flawed, she knew that much, but it was still an achievement, though one she could hardly rejoice over. She was supposed to be a thinker, but right then, Sakura could only act and throw herself out of the way of Sasuke's attacks. Mebuki had been right when she he said that Sakura followed an "endure the pain and hit back" kind of policy. It hadn't mattered as much while fighting Mebuki (Sakura now realized that her mother had actually gone easy on her), but Sasuke was not the type to pull his punches.

They hurt.

Sakura's style quickly saw adjustments done that would allow her to spare herself as much pain as possible. She hadn't actually meant to, the Chakra Horizon wasn't ready yet, but she had suddenly used it once, then twice, and before she knew it, she was relying on constantly to dodge.

Sakura was so busy paying attention to Sasuke's footwork and body, that when she looked up for a second, she nearly tripped all over herself. Sasuke's eyes gleamed red in the sunlight, watching her with attentiveness unlike Sakura had ever seen. His sharingan. He had activated his sharingan.

Sakura leapt back to remove the distance between them, shocked. She needed to get herself together. Yet Sasuke was not about to give her respite; he leapt after her, and Sakura realized with shock that she'd leapt back onto the lake.

Thankfully, she'd learned to walk on the surface of the lake. She stood on the surface of the glittering water, waiting for her opponent.

 _Come, if you dare_ , Inner growled.

Sasuke himself took to the lake like a duck to water, and they both went at it once again.

The activated sharingan allowed Sasuke to almost predict Sakura's movements, turning the tables in his favor. He was fast already, but that speed applied to predicting her movements was lethal. How was he doing it? The sharing and couldn't see into the future, and yet he seemed to react to Sakura's movements before she even knew in which direction she was about to dodge. Sakura looked into his eyes attentively, resolving to figure his trick out.

And then she saw it. He was glancing down, at their feet.

Why?

It was then that Sakura understood. As they were on the surface of a lake, their every movement would create ripples. And Sasuke was using these little ripples to precisely read Sakura's weight distribution and thus future movements. Sakura realized what she had to do. Without a warning, she let go of her chakra and was suddenly underwater.

Before Sasuke knew what was happening, she was pulling him under and tying up his hands and feet. Sasuke resisted, of course he did – but he was no match against Sakura's knots. Neither could he use kawarimi, as Sakura was careful to hold his arms apart with her own strength, which, to her surprise, outmatched Sasuke's. So now she was more muscly than her ex-crush, huh? Oh, well. Sakura tried to tell herself it was just the chakra she was channeling into her arms, even though Sasuke was probably doing the same thing.

Finally, her teammate started to gesture towards the surface frantically, and Sakura understood he needed air. So she complied with his request and let him go. It didn't dawn on her until they were both outside of the water, panting on the fresh grass, that this had implicitly made her the winner of the match. She had beaten Sasuke! Sakura could barely believe it. That was so amazing!

In her heart of hearts, she knew it had only been thanks to the element of surprise and the terrain advantage, but it still felt like an amazing feat. Sasuke, meanwhile, was looking at her with widened eyes, which quickly turned stormy. Now he seemed angry, though it was hard to say exactly as he'd turned away from Sakura.

"Sasuke…?" she asked tentatively. "Hey, that was a good match."

"Don't get too cocky," Sasuke spat. "I'll beat you next time." And without further ado, he disappeared through the treetops.

 _Someone's got his knickers in a twist…_ Inner commented. For once, Sakura didn't pretend to ignore her. She completely agreed. Because, honestly? She was a little annoyed at Sasuke. He could've been nicer about her win; this had been Sakura's first victory, after all, and it wasn't like he was in any danger of losing his spot as the strongest of team seven… or was he?

Sakura thought of Naruto's quick progress, and even her own advances… In both cases, their achievements were nothing to sneeze at either. Now she understood Sasuke a little bit better. He was scared they'd catch up to him, wasn't he?

 _Oh, Sasuke_ , _you moron! That's what being on a team is all about!_

 **TWISTED**

Meanwhile, Naruto had paid a visit to a certain head of torture and interrogation.

"Hey, Grumps!" the blond menace greeted cheerfully.

Ibiki turned towards the gennin with a strange expression on his face. He had just realized, with no small amount of mortification, that the prankster had just up and waltzed into one of Konoha's high security buildings like it was nothing. There was potential there, that was for sure.

Naruto beamed at him unheeded. He was holding something which looked like a box – was that a parcel?

"So how's it going? Missed me?"

"Swimmingly, kid. And no, not exactly."

"Oh. Well, cool. I didn't miss you either. But… swimmingly?" Naruto narrowed his eyes speculatively. "You don't seem the type to like getting wet though. Keeping secrets, are we? Don't worry I won't tell anyone."

Ibiki rolled his eyes. "And how is it that you are drawing these riveting conclusions?"

"A gut feeling." Naruto paused, then stage-whispered: "My tummy's very reliable."

"I take it you listen to your gut a lot," Ibiki deadpanned.

"Yah. Mainly he wants me to go to Ichiraku's ramen shop."

"And you are magnanimous enough to allow your – ah – gut free reign?"

"No idea what magnagninose means, but sure!"

Ibiki sighed. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. "And would you be magnanimous enough to tell me what you're doing here?"

"Just lightening up your day, Grouch," Naruto exclaimed. "But seriously. I wanted to thank you."

"For what?" Ibiki was baffled. It was a very rare occurrence that anyone thanked torturers, less so a brat he'd punished by cleaning walls.

"For your advise! Turns out, showing Cigar Cigar and his team the memory was the right thing to do after all!"

"Good to hear, kid. Consider me thanked."

"Actually… I brought you this," Naruto peered up at him slyly. "As a gratitude present."

"Really?" Ibiki was starting to see where this was going. The little prankster was up to one of his little stints again, wasn't he? "Then why don't you open it for me, seeing as I'm a little occupied?"

"EH? That is – um – it's your present, you should get the honor ahahaha…"

"A rather dubious honor, that is, no?" Ibiki asked. The boy froze on the spot. "Listen kid, first thing you have to do if you wanna trick someone is fool them completely. Make sure they don't know who you are – your background can reveal a lot. Third: if you get caught, pretend everything's still dandy. Own up to your act. That's the only way the situation might still be saved. And now, for the grand finally–" Ibiki opened the prank-parcel in Naruto's face.

Out of it came a red punching fist that hit Naruto straight in the whiskered-face – it was a perfect hit – and left him out cold.

"Poor sod," Ibiki chuckled, smirking. "Turns out the sight of him passed out on the floor did brighten my day." Then he opened a nearby door and called:

"Oy! Jiraya! You still there? I reckon there's a seal you need to look at!"

 **TWISTED**

Shikaku Nara was rather surprised (and horrified) by recent developments. Namely, his son diligently working and actually doing what he was told. What had happened? Did he hit his head? Was this some kind of imposter?

Nevertheless, Shikaku knew the true reason behind this change in his heart of hearts. Shikamaru was a smart boy – and so this readiness to learn could only come from one point… Shikamaru knew, or suspected, at least, that shit was going to hit the fan soon and was changing his behavior accordingly.

And what kind of parent would Shikaku be if he did not prepare his son for said fan-hitting shit? He may not be around a lot, but motivation, as well as yawns, was contagious. And so it was on this fine morning that Shikaku said:

"Oy, son. Imma teach you somethin' so gerrap."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes but did get up from the couch. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

Just this once, Shikaku was not, in fact, drunk – but it gave him an excuse to sit in the shade while his son worked, so whatever.

"D'you know how to break genjutsu?" he asked as they walked to the garden.

"Duh?" Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Kai, right? Disruption of the chakra flow and all that? Dad, you're like, three years late to be teaching me that."

"Alright, cool it, son," Shikaku replied, somewhat miffed now. "If you're so smart, son, how is it that you haven't noticed the illusion you're in?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "You're just trying to mess with me, old man. There is no illusion. If you don't teach me anything useful, I'm gonna leave."

Feisty. Shikaku didn't remember his son being feisty since the beginning of time. "Must be the teenage rebellion," he grumbled to himself.

"What was that?" came Shikamaru's bored monotone.

"It was me telling you to look more closely!" Shikaku sang. "I wouldn't be teaching you this, son, if I didn't think you're gonna need it soon! Now find that freaggin' illusion so I can move on with my life!"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, dad. D'you want me to be a good son and listen to the drunk ramblings of my drunkard father? Fine, I'll do just that."

Ouch. That hurt.

"Alright, I've had it. You're gonna tell me about whatever has gotten your knickers in a twist, kid, and you're gonna do it now," Shikaku countered. "It ain't like you to lash out like this." He could see it clearly now: something had affected his son. He needed to know what it was.

"It's nothing…" Shikamaru grumbled as he looked around, presumably trying to discern the illusion.

"You can tell me," Shikaku insisted. "Weren't you just saying I'm a ravin' drunk? If that's the case, I won't remember any of it next mornin'."

"Yeah, that's not how it works. You ignore me my whole life and now you want to know all about it? Sorry, but you're a bit late for the show."

"C'mon son…" Could it be true? Shikaku knew that he wasn't the best father out there, but he did try to make time for Shikamaru every now and then… If he was honest though, it was usually Yoshino who dealt with him. As jonin commander, Shikaku just didn't have the energy or time to deal with his kid.

Shikamaru heaved a big sigh. "Alright… It's nothing, but I guess I'll tell you if you really are that interested."

"When am I not?" Shikaku asked.

"Just a classmate of mine…" Shikamaru said. "Used to be the epitome of useless and yet…"

"He caught up?" Shikaku ventured.

"Yeah. That's one way of putting it. Let's just say that I realice if I'd been in her shoes I'd bee dead three times over. Made me realize I've just been lucky. That's it."

So it was a she, huh? Shikaku wondered at that. Only three girls had made it to genninout of Shikamaru's class. Couldn't be too difficult to guess which one he was talking about, specially if Ino was out of the equation. He'd look into it later.

"Kid. That's something every ninja realices at some point. Better do it sooner rather later… now, are you feeling up to some genjutsu training? I'm pretty sure that girl you're talking about would know how to break out." Specially, Shikaku thought, as he was sure that his son meant Hinata Hyuga, and Hyugas were famous for the ease in which they could find and break illusions.

"Yeah, you're right," Shikamaru said. "Genjutsu's definelty one of her strong points." As evidenced by the fact that Kurenai was Hinata's jonin instructor. Hm… pity she hadn't made it to the third round then, Shikaku would've liked to see this alleged prowess his son spoke of.

 **TWISTED**

In the meantime, Uchiha Sasuke had pinpointed the location of Bushman.

"Will you train me now?" he'd asked.

"Did you read the book I told you to?" Jiraya parried.

"No! Because there's no time! I must grow stronger now! I don't have time for books!"

Jiraya mustered him intently. "You know what, kid? My bones are weary. I just did some complex sealing, I've no time for your snobbish concerns."

"And if I treated you to lunch? Would you have time then?"

Jiraya grinned. "I just might."

After a rather stilted lunch which resulted in Sasuke's purse bering emptied in proportion to Jiraya's filling belly, the pair walked to the outskirts of Konoha, where stood an abandoned construction site. The workers must've left only recently, because a few bottles of fresh paint were lying around.

Jiraya, ever the adult, dipped his hand straight in and threw a paint blob at Sasuke, who saw it coming in time to dodge. As it was paint, however, some of it still managed to get smeared on his clothes.

"You dodged."

"What else were you expecting?"

"Not bad… for a brat." Jiraya then grinned. "But can you dodge while wearing… this?"

Sasuke covered his nose with disgust as Jiraya took of his wooden stilts. "Obviously," said the Uchiha – though he looked rather reluctant to put the shoes on.

"Go on then." No sooner was Sasuke attired in the stilts, Jiraya had started chugging paint at him relentlessly. Sasuke, who felt rather wobbly and out of balance, ended up caked in neon green.

Meanwhile, Jiraya cackled madly. "And you're not allowed to use your sharing an for this! Kid, you've got a long way to go before you have the reflexes, speed and equilibrium to stay clean!" Then, he summoned, to Sasuke's growing horror, a couple of frogs, which he then proceeded to give instructions to 'go easy on the brat for now'. Sasuke, meanwhile, was trying to pick up the last fragments of his pride, which had been trampled and painted over.

 **TWISTED**

When Naruto stirred, he had no clue where he was. As he got up, he realized that he'd somehow ended up in a square-shaped room with four – no, six – doors, one on each while, and one on the ceiling and floor. Naruto's unsuccessful exploits in math class told him that this was a cube… and when his further snooping revealed equal rooms besides every single one of the doors, he realized that he was in a maze.

Also, the note in the first room said so. It read:

 _Kid,_

 _As you seem to enjoy these types of things, I thought… why not? Consider this my revenge for earlier… T and I's personal brand of pranking, if you will._

 _Now look around you. See anything strange? I'll tell you one thing: right now, you're inside one of our buildings and the biggest maze of the land of fire… your task is simple: find your way out before the second stage of the chunin exams starts. You don't have much time._

 _I'd say enjoy, but I'm probably going to enjoy watching this more than you._

 _-Morino Ibiki_

"C'mon man…" Naruto wailed. "You expect me to get out of this thing? How am I supposed to do that without Sakura-chan around? This isn't fair… believe it!"

 **TWISTED**

 **A/N:**

 **"Well, well…" you must be thinking. "She didn't die after all, did she?" The answer to that is… Nope. Here I am, guys and gals. Resurrected and ready to write just for you! New chapter for twisted by yours truly and all that.**

 **On a side note, as some of you may have already seen, I'm starting a new story also, The Liar, which you're free to check out. It's about a lot of people – well – lying. Who would've guessed? Anyways, The Liar's for Harry Potter, not Naruto, but pretty much everyone in here likes Harry Potter so I thought some of you might be interested. And that's about it…**

 **Cheers and nice to see you again!**


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